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Messages - Israel Brightsky

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Teens / Re: Can I masturbate?
« on: October 01, 2016, 01:52:59 PM »

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Teens / Re: Seeking the light at the end of the tunnel
« on: October 01, 2016, 12:55:25 AM »
Finally managed to go a full week no PMO. Haven't noticed too many changes but this is the first time I've gotten this far in almost 3 months so definitely excited to keep pushing forward

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Teens / Re: Can I masturbate?
« on: October 01, 2016, 12:53:45 AM »
This video has some info on it, specifically 2:23-4:40. Hope this helps! And congrats on 2.5 weeks of success in the reboot! Keep at it

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Teens / Re: Seeking the light at the end of the tunnel
« on: September 15, 2016, 11:38:52 PM »
I've realized that there are good days and bad days in a reboot. The thing is in order to see to it that I put this behind me, I have to be able to not only face the bad days, but the days afterwards. Whenever I have a day where a strong urge to watch porn comes, I can suppress it for a while, usually even the whole day, but that urge doesn't leave the next day. It's still there and it doesn't go away until I give in and I hate resetting. Does anyone have any tips for when these moments come? I definitely need help with this.

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Teens / Re: Arousal addiction...its ruining my REBOOT CHALLENGE
« on: September 14, 2016, 11:21:03 AM »
I completely understand what you're talking about. When I tried to reboot in the past, there were times when random memories of stuff I'd seen in porn videos would flash through my head and I'd immediately become aroused, the feeling wouldn't go away and I decided "well since it's not going away, I might as well give my brain what it wants." That's the completely wrong mindset to have. It's definitely possible to stay out of it, but it takes a ton of willpower. I've found that if I try to fill my schedule with things to do, things that keep me away from home, it is easier, but of course this plan isn't a complete guarantee. There have been times where I feel like I can fight off the urge, and others where I don't have the energy to do it. It takes a lot of discipline and willpower, but it is possible. You're definitely not alone in this struggle!

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Teens / Re: Seeking the light at the end of the tunnel
« on: September 05, 2016, 03:53:31 PM »
So spending time around people that I want to be around can help keep my mind off things that my mind shouldn't be on and being alone can sometimes cause my mind to wander with nothing to stop it. But I'm also an introvert and I do notice that I have a limit to spending time with people, especially if it's physical activities like sports, and sometimes I don't have an escape to go and recharge on my own. This leads to a little burnout for me where I have almost no energy and all I want to do is put my head down and pass out for a bit. But the longer I stay awake and around people, the more I see them still full of energy and wanting to keep chatting and I want that energy. It kinda feels miserable and I used to turn to porn when feelings like that hit and I finally got time to myself. I don't want to have that temptation. Anybody got advice for when feelings like this hit?

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Teens / Re: Aspiring for a life of joy
« on: September 04, 2016, 07:09:45 PM »
Hi ma7eus,

I know the what you mean by feeling like you're "undatable." I've gone my entire life without a girlfriend too and when I had graduated high  school, I had actually resolved to never date, to never get married, never deal with everything that came with all of that. The standards set for guys in porn and even just in today's culture are impossible because the guys that look like that are paid to be ripped studs who can get laid because it's their "job." I thought that since I couldn't achieve something like that, why bother if no one's going to notice me?

Not too long after that, however, I heard a call to Christianity and found more purpose in life than looking for someone to date. It was a long process though. After having this turn around, I found a group of friends who all were dating someone. This made me feel that I was missing out, and I wanted to find someone to date. Two problems with this:

1. No confidence to go up to someone and ask her out
2. I had no reason to be dating because I didn't know where I was going in life

Joshua Harris describes singleness as a gift from God, a unique time in our lives that we only get once to have nothing tie us down from serving Him. Of course, this isn't saying that having a spouse ties us down, but it means that in marriage we have to think about the other person if, for example, we go off to a different city for a long term mission trip or something else that might require us to focus solely on serving God.

I also saw that you mentioned entering your university recently. If you haven't already, definitely try to get plugged into a church if it's somewhere different than your hometown. But don't simply "try" one church and then stick with it. Find one where the people invest in you. There are a lot of places out there that are all about meeting once a week for some sermon and that's all and if you want to be really intense, you'll go out for a Wednesday night bible study. That's garbage. Acts 2 describes the early church as a group of people who had everything in common and met EVERYDAY, not just once, to eat together and pray for one another. Meeting every single day is a hard thing to do, maybe even impossible sometimes, but as long as it's a group of people willing to know who you are and their willing to be vulnerable with you and get to know you and look out for you, that's something worth investing in.

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Teens / Re: Hello
« on: September 01, 2016, 02:45:42 PM »
Hey Crystal. Rough starts to the day can put a damper on the whole day, but the fact that you took the initiative to turn it around is an achievement I rarely get to have. As for not going to college, don't sweat that! My dad dropped out during his sophomore year, took up carpentry, and now is the owner of the business he once worked for. Hope the afternoon productivity is going well and hope you got to take that run!

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Teens / Re: Seeking the light at the end of the tunnel
« on: August 31, 2016, 11:13:08 PM »
First 2 days are in the books. One of the most challenging things I feel like is being a college student. There's stress, there's work, and there are a lot of girls who don't have anyone telling them that the super short shorts or the low cut tops are not helping guys who are trying to stop thinking about these things. I am finding that the more time I try to fill with things like hanging with friends and going to church events really help to keep me from being bored and causing my mind to wander off into things that it shouldn't. Hopefully as time goes on these things get easier.

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Teens / Re: 19 - Turning 19 today. Returning to noPmo
« on: August 31, 2016, 09:26:15 AM »
Hey LoneWolf,

It's so encouraging to see that you're breaking free from this addiction. I'm 19 too and reading what you've been able to do after starting this is really inspiring. Can't wait to read more about the amazing things you're doing!

Best regards,

Israel

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Teens / Seeking the light at the end of the tunnel
« on: August 29, 2016, 07:08:58 PM »
I'm a 19 year old college student who's been seriously trying to quit porn for about a year now. I just started my second year with the mentality that I need to give this up now so that it won't be an issue when it comes time to start looking for a job or just preparing for the real world in general. I've resolved to quit dozens of times before, but I always fall back down from stress or just from the lack of will to keep going. The longest I think I've ever gone was a month, and I really thought that going that long was the breakthrough to ending it all, but nope.

So my background begins around the time I was 13. I never viewed anything really explicit, just enough for me to be "excited." A few years later, I met a girl that I really liked, and we started to date, but that went down the toilet pretty quick. A few months after we started, we became physical (never "all the way") and that led to me wanting more of just that. Eventually, we broke up because she graduated high school before me, but I still had this want for the physical. So I settled for what I thought was the next best thing: the internet. I got hooked and I stayed that way for about a year until I went to a church camp my senior year. I won't get super spiritual, but I was convicted that I needed to stop.

Now I want to stop, but the urges just invade and I don't have the strength to stop them. I want this to end. I want to stop disrespecting women in this disgusting way. Even though it's a long time away, I want to have the confidence to ask a woman out and not have to be afraid of this ever being a problem in the relationship. I want this day to be the last day that I ever watched porn.

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