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Messages - Erasmus_xlt

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5
26
Ages 40 and up / Re: Beating the Boredom/My Journal
« on: June 18, 2016, 04:41:44 AM »
Welcome to the Nation. You have read some of our stories.  You know you are not alone in your struggles. Be sure to read the success stories also.

Make sure you read the posts by William:
http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?3549-Action!-or-not!!!-Have-you-actually-Prepared-for-it

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=1256.0;topicseen

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=1256.0;topicseen

Get to the bottom of your self.  Most people continue in a cycle of booting and rebooting until the costs outweigh the rewards.  If you haven't reached that point, it's easy to allow a relapse. Yes, you want it.  You know what it's doing to you, your loved ones, your future.  But, knowing is not enough.  The longest trip is the one from your head to your heart...

Best wishes on your journey. 

27
Ages 40 and up / Re: The Renewing of my Mind
« on: June 18, 2016, 04:18:41 AM »
Congratulations!  You have made it to your first 40.  You have now been tempted and tested and found to be an overcomer.  You know what it takes to get through this.  You know how to say no.  You know the risks and rewards.  You can do this.

Keep up the good work.  Be wary.  Be on your guard.  Don't relax. Your adversary is still out there and hasn't given up on you yet.  You will be tempted in other nefarious ways.. You have passed the first hurdle of many.  The reprogramming of your brain and body is well on its way. 

Congratulations again brother.  Welcome to the over 40 club.  Next goal: 60 days, 90 days, 120 days and beyond!

28
Ages 40 and up / Re: yet another journal
« on: June 17, 2016, 03:23:37 PM »
So, now you have to think about why did you falter?  Really think about it.  Don't forget it.  Don't excuse it. Don't minimize it.  But, logically consider why...

We're you:
H hungry
A angry
L only or
T ired?

These are emotions that typically find us going back to what we don't want to do in the first place.  Add boredom in there too. Once you know what you were thinking/feeling at that time, then determine how to either:

a) not feel that way (pretty hard not to feel) or
b) have a pre-determined strategy for not reverting to porn use when you do feel that way.

Another thing to consider:.perhaps your "why" isn't big enough yet.  Most of us have tried rebooting before.  Most of us have relapsed frequently.  Those with the most successful (read the success stories) had to hit rock-bottom at some time to do ally achieve the success they now enjoy.  I think I have.  I hope I have.  I don't want to go through this anymore - but I will if I have to.  Never give up.

Then, after you do all that thinking, after you know why, and have a plan and a big enough reason, it will be easier to stand against the fiery darts of temptation the next time you face your enemy.

Just my thoughts.

P.S. - the reason to avoid orgasm if you are experiencing PME or DE is to retrain your mind.  If you M to come quickly, you typically experience PME.  If you edge, you typically experience DE (so it seems).  Not M'ing gives your body and mind time to desensitize and reset. Not to mention, what are you thinking about when you M?

29
Ages 40 and up / Re: Because God and my Wife Deserve Better
« on: June 15, 2016, 11:11:53 PM »
This is information I want to be able to get to later.  It is from a post in the success stories by someone that found success by concentrating on building his relationship with his wife rather than on beating porn:

So glad to hear of your progress.

This article has lots of men's self reports about relationship improvements after giving up porn: http://yourbrainonporn.com/guys-who-gave-porn-sex-and-romance.

30
Ages 40 and up / Re: The Renewing of my Mind
« on: June 15, 2016, 11:05:03 PM »
Just information I want to be able to get to again.  This is from a success story that didn't focus on beating porn.  He focused on building a relationship with his wife as I am doing.

So glad to hear of your progress.

This article has lots of men's self reports about relationship improvements after giving up porn: http://yourbrainonporn.com/guys-who-gave-porn-sex-and-romance.

31
Ages 40 and up / Re: The Renewing of my Mind
« on: June 15, 2016, 10:45:07 PM »
Good repost Chip.  Gracie's post is good for PAs and SOs alike.  We have much to learn from her.

32
Ages 40 and up / Re: Because God and my Wife Deserve Better
« on: June 15, 2016, 02:24:51 PM »
This is a repost of a post by a SO, Gracie.  I found it to be very insightful and educational.  I would like to implement these rules with my wife when we get to a point when we can.

@Gracie:. Only you know your heart and mind.  I discovered my husband's use 4 years ago.  I told him "I do not know if I can get past this."  (I should point out here that it was not internet,, but we had all the movie channels so he had lots of access.) I started reading and reading.  I came across a lot of information that basically said, "Boys will be boys."  And I felt funny, this is not how it feels to be on the other side of this.  It did not feel like "boys will be boys"  I was pretty sure that if it was that instance it would not feel like it did.  I knew that was not what I was looking for information wise.

I had a man that was kind and loving and cared.  I had a man that I enjoyed having sex with frequently.  This man had changed.  (You know, the hindsight glasses thing)  It had happened over a period of time.  Until finally, due to a health difficulty of mine, he chose to sleep on the couch.  I thought how understanding.  But then there was no sex.  Maybe once a week.  I had to ask.  When I did, he asked if he had missed a signal.  Then came the time we made love and he went downstairs.  I went down half hour later to get some water and he was rolled over facing the couch but porn was on. 

I went away on a short trip the next morning. (Already planned)  When I got back, I said we have to have some rules so I do not just walk away.  (Due to past life experiences all the way back to childhood, I just moved on, if not in body, in mind.)  The rules were:

No more porn.  (We disconnected the satellite tv.  Even if we got rid of movie channels there were free weekends.)
We are in bed together every night.
We stay in be together every night, all night.
We sleep naked.
We sit together on the couch.  No one in a chair.
We kiss hello and goodbye each time we leave the house and come back.  (Not just going to work)
We cuddle.  Full body hugs in bed every morning and every evening while in bed naked.
If we discussed this, some part of our bodies had to be touching while we talked. (foot, hand, side by side etc)


Those were the beginning rules. I came up with these while reading about this and reading about marriage conflict, in the early stages.   These helped a lot.  Did I get mad?  Yes  Did I yell? Yes  Did he get mean?  Yes  He became a man I had NEVER seen before.  I was scared.  I also got depressed.  Almost suicidal.
We have been married a long time. 

The routine above kept us tied to each other.  Even when sad, sad, sad, I participated.  Even when mad, mad, mad, I participated.  And he did too.  Sometimes after a release of emotion, the full body hug was difficult but we did it.  Sometimes, it was the most comforting thing of all.  The routine got us through.  We both got something we had been missing.  Physical contact.  Do not underestimate the power of that touch.  It took a lot to do this.  I would tell him I loved him but I did not like what he had done, and what he had done undermined the foundation of our marriage.  When the dislike was great, it was difficult.  There were times that he felt he disliked me.  I had taken away his "pleasure"   

There are other things we added in along the way.  The most important was we would say, "I'm not going anywhere." as we worked through this.  And even now when I have "moments" he will hold me and say that.   And never underestimate saying I Love You.

I also found a website/blog that helped us immensely. It is for the PA and the SO.  markchamberlainphd.blogspot.com  It is amazing.  He has recently added a 30 day recovery course for recovering addicts that is quite good.  He and I read it together.  He has archived the blog posts as well and they have a gold mine of information.  He and Geoff Steurer wrote a book, "Love You, Hate the Porn.  We read that together as well.  Geoff also has youtube videos as well.

You should not have to be the police.  Try what I suggested above.  Let him know, "This is the commitment I need."  I hope this helped.  We are a supportive forum.  Read and post often.   

33
Thanks for the question @motojunky.  I look forward to the answers here.

I am in the process if trying to restore my relationship with my wife also.  What I am doing now is hard work:
1.  Stop all porn viewing and access to it
2.  Accountability partner
3.  Seeing a professional counselor

All of that helps her to have confidence I am not doing all of this on my own.  Plus having other people I am accountable to is added insurance.  Additionally, I am:

4.  Learning to be empathetic to her needs and desires
5.  Learning to be intimate beyond sexual/physical aspects
6.  Helping her more
7.  Be a person of integrity by being more open and honest

These things I do are to help me learn what real love looks like.  My wife has been devastated by my betrayal.  It takes time to get through that.

I would love to know any other suggestions by partners on what it takes to restore a relationship ravaged by porn.

34
Ages 40 and up / Re: Because God and my Wife Deserve Better
« on: June 15, 2016, 10:47:18 AM »
Thanks @Chip.  I appreciate that you see progress in me and that my posts might help someone.  I can't take full credit for the change in tone of my posts.  As my wife reads and let's me know what she hears, I realize I have to make changes.

Additionally, as my 30 day Love Journey has been progressing, I am learning that I have to do better at protecting my wife by censoring what I put in public about her.  As I am learning to empathize more with her and see things from her point of view (or at least what I think her point if view might be), I am viewing my actions and words differently.

Don't get me wrong, I can see how it will be difficult and I still don't get it right often.  But the change is happening in me.  I know I can't just be intentional about quitting porn and think that will fix everything else that's wrong.  I have to be intentional about everything.  That is going to make everything tough.  I expect to second guess myself on everything.

That means that my confidence is shaken.  I can't trust myself. Until I get that back and can live by making good and right decisions, life will be hard.  But the change must happen or I will be a miserable old man.

Stay strong.  Stay sober. Stay vigilant.

35
Ages 40 and up / Re: Because God and my Wife Deserve Better
« on: June 15, 2016, 09:10:51 AM »
It will be great when good, acceptable habits replace the habits that have ruled my life these last 20+ years of my 46 years on earth.  But, I have no illusions that having a good relationship will not continue to require hard work.  It will get easier and it will be much better for both of us.

36
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 14, 2016, 10:32:30 PM »
Day 23: Be Her Emotional Hero

Put your hand(s) on your heart and imagine how it might go the next time your wife or girlfriend comes to you in distress. If you're single, you might imagine it's a female friend, family member, or someone from work. Notice any impulses you have: to bolt, to stammer, to defend, to minimize, to take on her distress or try to eliminate it by swooping in to fix the situation. Then take a nice full breath, pay attention to what you feel in your heart, press your hand(s) a little firmer against your chest, and simply sit with whatever you feel inside. Then hold your feelings aside and pay attention to what you imagine she might be feeling. Spend a few moments sitting with her emotions. She's coming to you for a reason: she trusts that you can give her the support she needs. Take courage and trust yourself that you can do just that, if you'll just hang in there and not pull away.

Im imagining her coming with her anger and hurt.  I try to imagine what she is feeling.  I want to listen between the lines so I can know her heart.

37
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 14, 2016, 10:18:05 PM »
Day 22: Create Safety Through Emotional Foreplay

Text your wife or girlfriend now: "What's making you laugh today?" A bit later text and ask, "What's weighing you down today?"

This is a great idea for developing intimacy and emotional connectedness.  I may be wrong, but I don't think that this is something that my wife would want to engage in right now.  I will have to get back to this later.

38
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 14, 2016, 10:06:31 PM »
Day 21: Consider What It's like for a Woman

The exercise is to read the story of a 60 year old wife who's husband is always checking out other, younger women.  While reading, with your hand on your heart, you are to empathize with her.

My initial thought was that he could look all he wanted but, at the end of the day he was coming home with me (her).  But, as I thought that, I wondered if having his body without his mind or heart was worth it. 

Then I couldn't help but empathize with my wife.  I tried to see myself as she sees me.  I could feel the hurt and pain and loneliness she has spoken about.  I could feel her anger and her sense of betrayal.

As that wasn't exactly what this exercise was about, I also tried to think about what if she were starting a relationship with me now, would it be different?  The answer is that it would be different and so much better. 

I would live by practicing her presence as I would also practice the presence of God.  Kinda hard to do some of what I did with both of them always with me...

39
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 14, 2016, 09:46:43 PM »
Day 20: Understand Her Even Better

To get to know my wife better, I am to answer these questions about her.  Then I am supposed to discuss them with her. 

What is her favorite kind of tree?  A cherry tree

Who was one of her earliest childhood friends? Family

How does she hope to be spending her time on a typical day five years from now? Working with her insurance customers.

What's one of her fondest memories from early in your relationship? Our trip to Boston

What's one of her favorite creative outlets? Painting

She was not in the mood to talk tonight so I may have to do this with her later.

40
Ages 40 and up / Re: Because God and my Wife Deserve Better
« on: June 14, 2016, 09:29:16 PM »
It's been 45 days since I last intentionally viewed porn.  Do you how refreshing it is to say that?  It would be even better of course, to not need to say it, but that's an alternate reality.

Thank for all the words of encouragement for my last post.  I only wish that dying to self was as easy as saying the words.  It's not that I didn't mean it.  I did.  I do.  I will.  But life is not linear.  Just because I say it does not make it so tight away.

I have lived so much of my life being opaque.  I didn't tell everyone everything that I did.  I could give just enough to keep people happy.  Not lies, but not the whole truth.  My wife demands that I live at another level.  A level quite unfamiliar to me.  A level I must aspire to before I lose the best thing that's happened to me.

To that end, I am not only quitting a bad habit.  But I have to truly rewire my brain to tell the whole truth.  Not just part.  Not just enough. All of it.  I know you don't think that should be that hard.  But, frankly , it is.  Not because I intend to lie but, because it's a life long pattern of evasiveness.  And, no, I don't know why. 

But change, I must.  Die to self, I must.  This almost makes breaking the porn habit easy.  But. I know it isn't and I know I must be intentional in my actions and thoughts.  No idle thoughts or automatic reactions.  Auto pilot takes the path of least resistance.  Every thought must be accounted for.

Hard work will be with me for the rest of my life.  I must remain strong, sober and vigilant as everyone that reads this must.  Otherwise, the vicious cycle of binging and rebooting will cause me to be a shell of a human wondering how I ended up somewhere I don't want to be.

Fight the good fight!

41
Ages 40 and up / Re: Malando - getting started.
« on: June 14, 2016, 09:01:48 PM »
Enjoy your trip to China.  As has been said, you will be tempted there as much as anywhere.  I would suggest that you keep your counter running and decide when you get back what to do.  Porn is not an American or European problem only.

Remember, guilt is good because it lets us know when we've done something bad.  Shame is not good because it tells us that we are bad. There is a time for shame, but what you're experiencing because of your lapse is guilt.  Take time to analyze it.  What happened?  How were you feeling?  We're you Hungry, angry, lonely or tired?  What caused this feelings?  Then, when you figure it out, develop a plan ahead of time to prevent it from happening again.

We are learning a new way to think, be and do.  We are taking the longest journey known to mankind - the journey from your head to your heart  (Borrowed that from my counselor).  We want to be free from bondage and that takes work.  No one said it would be easy and we have to be DELIBERATE to the extreme.  Letting our brains go on autopilot will lead us back to the path of least resistance.

Just remember, everyone falls.  How high you climb after you get back up is the true measure of a person's success.

Be safe, be sober, be vigilant.

42
The big question is what is your goal?  There is really never a need to masturbate.  It is done because of urges and wants.  However, if you just want to break a porn habit, it should be ok to do what you want just leave porn out if it.

If you have PIED then you are better off abstaining totally for a period of time. Also, any PE or DE should have you doing a sex fast from masturbation and/or orgasm.

At least, that's my humble opinion.

43
Your counter is for Porn watching leading to Masturbation and THEN having an Orgasm.  Wet dreams or orgasms with a loved one are not disqualifying events as they were not preceded by porn induced Masturbation.

44
Ages 40 and up / Re: The Renewing of my Mind
« on: June 12, 2016, 07:47:05 AM »
Thanks for the shout out brother Chip.

I also thank you for the brief presentation of the gospel earler in your posts.  I will second your testimony and greet it with a whole-hearted amen. 

As I post this, you are on day 34.  You have less time than it took for God to create the world to make your first 40 days.  God provides daily strength and a way out of every temptation.  It is ours to use but He won't do it for us.

Probably nothing you didn't already know, just some encouragement for your edification.  I appreciate your encouraging words.

Cherish your wife and the support you get from her.  Everyone that is married doesn't get that support or some get it later in the process.  Pray for her healing also and that her heart may beat again...

I'm on day 43 of the rest of my life.

45
Porn Addiction / Re: Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.
« on: June 12, 2016, 07:14:17 AM »


William,

Gonna pop in here for a brief moment.  I was a "recreational sex" person in my 20's.  I married my husband shortly thereafter and initially was worried that I could not only be with one person.  So this aspect happens to women as well.  (No you did not say not us.  Just letting the guys know that women can be the same.)  Never a porn person though.  I was so surprised about how a complete in love relationship took that away.  I know that we are wired differently etc.  But I think that the emotional love connection is more powerful than we give it credit for being. 

My husband would lock on to anyone's butt by ogling.  Then I would hear, "she had a lot of jewels on her jeans."  Or ogling someone and then saying, "I was looking at her shoes."  He would be looking and come up with ridiculous things to say.  That only served to make it worse.  Once we had D-day.  And I pointed out to him this stuff and how common it was for him.  And how I knew he watched even before I caught him.  He saw the hurt.  He saw how committed I was to our marriage.  Men I want you to know the reason we are hurt, angry, disgusted, and gutted, is because we love you.  I want you to hear this again, we love YOU.  We chose to be with you and you chose to be with us.  We want the marriage to work. 

So many of you try to white knuckle through this.  It won't work.  William tells you this.   You need emotional healing.  Every time I read in men's journals here they talk about long ago hurt and abandonment, and low self esteem.   These are feeling things.  Emotion things.  As you have gone through this you withdraw more and more.  A lot of you say, "I found myself someplace I would never be or wanted to be."  Each step you take to "where I would never be" takes you one step away from your marriage, girlfriend, yourself, your family.  One small step at a time.  Then BAM you really feel alone. 

Even though it takes a lot to stay it at the beginning, for everyone, in the end it is worth it.  My husband can sense my feelings.  He focuses more on me during lovemaking.  I am not just a way to get off for him.  And I can tell a difference.  But had I not let him see the hurt.  Had he not felt my pain, I don't think he would have quit.  Never underestimate the power of raw emotion.  It feels so huge to you because you have not felt true emotions for a long time.  Instead of letting yourself feel, you have self medicated with porn.  When you exercise,  you strive to "feel the burn".  The burn hurts, at least in my experience, and yet you keep exercising because you know at the end you will have muscle, be slimmer or whatever you are striving for.  The same is true in your relationships.  "Feel the burn"  You will not be sorry.

I, for one, agree that porn was a substitute for feeling.  Then for a person my 30's, (while married) I was a serial adulterer with recreational sex.  That was before I found high speed internet porn.  But, it was all a Band-Aids for the deep-down hurt and pain I was feeling that I would not allow anyone to help with.  That and the dopamine hit that drowned out much of the sorrow and helped me feel good (for a moment).



46
Ages 40 and up / Re: Because God and my Wife Deserve Better
« on: June 12, 2016, 01:21:51 AM »
42 Days of learning to live again.

It's hard to let myself die.  But, that's what I have to do. I have to die so that I can live. 

A paradox no doubt.  But, for too long now, it has all been about me.  My wants.  My desires.  My way.  The world tells us as men that we are the man.  We make the rules.  We wear the pants in the house.  We get what we want.  What we want, we just take it.  And, that's a football.

A football is leather on the outside.  As hard as it is, you'd think the leather went all the way through.  But, it's only filled with air.  That's a good description for an excuse:.a skin of truth stuffed with a lie.

As men we are to lead our wife and our family.  Yet, we are also told to be willing to die to ourselves.  We are to be willing to give our life for our wife.  Initially, I thought, "Sure, I'd die to save my wife in an emergency.". But, I've been studying and people are saying that the ultimate sacrifice is not dying for my wife, but living for my wife.  Preferring her wants and desires above my own.  THATS HARDER. 

The fear is that if I do that, I won't get anything I want.  Well, all I can say is that at this point it's worth the trouble to try.  After all, it hasn't worked my way.

Now, I'm not saying that this is going to work overnight.  I'm also not saying that she won't take advantage of the situation.  But, God is infinitely more wise than I am.  If he says this is the way it should be, who am I to argue?

Dying is still hard...

47
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 12, 2016, 01:00:57 AM »
Day 19: You're Built to Win at Love

Do It: Look Lovingly
One of the things mentioned for this day is to Give up and Give in.  Biblically speaking, this is what it means by dying to oneself.  Husbands are commanded to love their wife as Christ loved the church h and gave himself for it.  This is not easy.

It seems I spent all my life trying to establish me.  To be my own person.  To not be defined by my circumstances.  But, I'm told to die to my wants and desires.  It seems like a losing proposition
  But, supposedly, by dying to myself, I am going to get more out of it in the long run.  It goes against everything that the world teaches.

In trying to work on this one, I have washed dishes.  I know.  It sounds like no big deal.  But, I hate (not supposed to hate); I loathe washing dishes.  I'd rather eat fecal matter laced with shrapnel and tainted with cyanide than wash dishes (childhood thing).  But, she's important enough that if that's what it takes...

My fear is being taken advantage of.  I have to make myself vulnerable and trust her to do the right thing.  I'm not saying that this is all happening automatically.  I have to grow into it.  But, if that is what love is, than to get the love and intimacy i hunger and thirst for, I GIVE UP.

48
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 12, 2016, 12:37:40 AM »
Day 18: Do It: Explore Her Pain

Instead of trying to"fix" my wife, I am to get her talking about her feelings as a way to open up and facilitate healing.  The author suggests some questions:

What has it been like for you to have the sacred trust you placed in me betrayed by my choices?

How do you experience your days differently now than before the discovery of my behavior? What ongoing events or activities trigger painful feelings for you?

How have my choices impacted your beliefs and feelings about intimacy in our relationship? What boundaries would you like to establish or change about intimacy?

What fears do you currently have about me or our relationship? What helps reduce your fear? How do you physically experience fear (headaches, tension, restlessness, etc.)?

What aspects of our relationship need to be reorganized in order for you to feel more safe? What things need to change in order to you to feel like you could begin to start trusting again?

What aspects of my behavior were most offensive or painful for you?

What aspects of this problem am I closed about? How do I shut you down from expressing your feelings? What is one thing I can do differently to help improve our discussions about difficult topics?

To what extent do you feel trapped because of my choices? How can I help you feel like you have options and choices?
What impact have my choices had on spirituality in our home or in our relationship?
What has it been like for you to have the sacred trust you placed in me betrayed by my choices?
How do you experience your days differently now than before the discovery of my behavior? What ongoing events or activities trigger painful feelings for you?
How have my choices impacted your beliefs and feelings about intimacy in our relationship? What boundaries would you like to establish or change about intimacy?
What fears do you currently have about me or our relationship? What helps reduce your fear? How do you physically experience fear (headaches, tension, restlessness, etc.)?
What aspects of our relationship need to be reorganized in order for you to feel more safe? What things need to change in order to you to feel like you could begin to start trusting again?
What aspects of my behavior were most offensive or painful for you?
What aspects of this problem am I closed about? How do I shut you down from expressing your feelings? What is one thing I can do differently to help improve our discussions about difficult topics?
To what extent do you feel trapped because of my choices? How can I help you feel like you have options and choices?
What impact have my choices had on spirituality in our home or in our relationship?
As I work towards restoring trust in our relationship, what are some specific things I will need to pay attention to? What things can I change that would give you some hope?
What do you see as being the most important priority for our relationship at this time?
In all that has happened, what has been the most painful aspect of your experience?
What do you need most right now in our relationship?
As I work towards restoring trust in our relationship, what are some specific things I will need to pay attention to? What things can I change that would give you some hope?

What do you see as being the most important priority for our relationship at this time?

In all that has happened, what has been the most painful aspect of your experience?

What do you need most right now in our relationship?

These are tough questions to ask.  I would imagine that they are also tough to answer.  However, many of these have already been answered for me as my wife is quite adept at expressing her feelings.  I will work toward asking some of the other questions at another time. ???

49
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 12, 2016, 12:17:42 AM »
Day 17: Do It: Consider Going Without Sex

Well, I don't have to consider this because I have been going without sex for a while.  Initially because my wife had some health considerations.  Then, because my porn use was brought to light.  I've been trying to talk to my wife more about my feelings.  I've also been trying to pray about my feelings.

50
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30 Days - Love Heals Program
« on: June 12, 2016, 12:05:51 AM »
Day 16: Do It: Be Yourself for a Minute or Two

Look over your Value Menu and pick an activity you can carry out in the next two or three minutes. Put your hands over your heart, consider briefly why this value matters to you, and then go do it.

Today was the day that our church goes out into the neighborhood to let the community know about upcoming activities and to let them know that they have an open invitation to visit with us.  Well, today was a bit too hot for that (heat index over 100° so we stayed at the church and planned.

Afterward, the leader of the CR group was supposed to call his wife so she could leave her job to take him home before going to work.  I offered to give him a ride home instead.  We had a good talk during the ride.

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