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Messages - rainforth13

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Teens / Re: Fuck my life im deep in porn
« on: March 15, 2014, 09:49:56 PM »
Hey Fmlleo, welcome to RN! Glad you're here and thanks for sharing!

Like Androg said, this will take time, some longer than others but don't expect immediate results as your brain's pathways are wired for pornography and no longer for the real thing. Your brain is desensitized to real women and will have to unwire from porn and rewire to real women.

Porn is harmful to our brains and your experiencing this first hand. Know you are not alone and we are here to help, support, and answer questions. Gabe will answer your pill question though.

I encourage you to browse the site for plenty of tips and great info. There is hope but you will need some patience in the process!

Stay strong and continue to not watch porn!

Teens / Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
« on: March 15, 2014, 09:40:24 PM »
Your awareness is a very good thing! Continue to be aware of triggers and danger zones before they happen knowing that you are or can be vulnerable especially in these early stages.

I am NEVER interested in females who don't show interest too or lose interest.

Me neither, and you shouldn't be. Feelings should be mutual and equal.

I am way more social and there are no awkward moments anymore.

Glad your social ability is progressing! Don't worry about awkward moments because it shouldn't matter what other people think. Be yourself and nothing will be awkward for you because it will just be your natural personality shining through!

Keep it up!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Reboot Battle
« on: March 13, 2014, 09:49:01 PM »
Hi fcjl8!

You may absolutely share this with others! I enjoy the equation because it is simple and yet deep at the same time which is a lot like the gospel.

Your story is encouraging and I'm glad God got ahold of you, numbskull or not ;)

If you take the time to do the equation yourself, I'd love for you to post it on here!

Below is the actual piece of paper that came with it. Hope it helps! Keep fighting the good fight, and press on!

Teens / Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
« on: March 13, 2014, 09:12:22 PM »
Congrats on one week! Proud of you, relish the moment but continue to persevere and know that it's not a race or a numbers game on the amount of days gone without PMOing. We're talking about your life and taking it one day at a time because that's all we're given. Press on!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Not starting from scratch
« on: March 12, 2014, 11:54:34 PM »
Welcome humbled_eved! Glad you are here and thanks for sharing! Powerful stuff there for sure.

I have decided to get back on the horse and re-commit myself to my SA program and the YBOP mentality, with my faith being the foundation to my day-to-day life.

This is great and I can really relate to making faith the foundation. You might check out my most recent post about how our beliefs affect our actions,

I have been working step 4 from my program. This means I am facing my fears, resentments, and past sexual experiences. This is scary,

This is scary! No doubt. It's not easy doing the hard things but they are the right thing to do. Here's a great quote by Jim Rohn- "We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment."

Continue to put in the good work and you will get good results over time. Unfortunately it can be a lot like working out and you can lose it in a blink of an eye but consistency is key.

Also, today I was on IG and once again caught myself scrolling through the pics of a less than savory account.

I used to do this too but took an extreme measure and quit social media altogether. I'm not saying to do that but I am saying to know your triggers. If you don't want to drink then don't go to the party. Be aware of what triggers you and sends your brain down that path otherwise you're setting yourself up for it.

As I can see, my thoughts are all over the place.

Whose aren't, honestly? I enjoyed reading it, rambling or not, it was encouraging.

You definitely seem to be headed in the right direction. Press on. Look forward to hearing more!

Women / Re: Surprise
« on: March 12, 2014, 11:32:39 PM »
Hi Gracie!

I just wanted to say that I am thankful you are here and sharing your story. People need to hear it!

You show great courage in sharing and even more so in staying with your husband. When I was in high school, my mom stayed with my dad after he had an affair, so I've always thought highly of women that possess enough grace, patience, and endurance to be there through the tough times of their partner's life.

The bad and good news is that people change throughout the course of their life, single or married. I believe your husband can one day be a different person then the one he was looking at porn for whatever reasons. There is hope! In a book I just read called "The Meaning of Marriage" by Tim Keller, there is a great few lines:

"When I married my wife, I had hardly a smidgen of sense for what I was getting into with her. How could I know how much she would change over 25 years? How could I know how much I would change? My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed--and each of the five has been me."

I don't know much about marriage, hence my reading and sharing from a source outside myself. I resort to Gabe's response on your question as he hit it right on the head. I hope you'll continue to share! Know that pain is on the near side of your situation but in the end you'll both be better for it and that joy is on the far side of it.

Teens / Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
« on: March 12, 2014, 11:12:04 PM »
Welcome to RN, no94! Glad you are here and thanks for sharing your story!

Over the next few years I started getting worse grades, I was anti-social, pseudo-depressed (I was a pussy), I had brain fog and all these mental problems and I was wondering what all that is.

Porn has a lot of negative affects as you described very well. I have suffered similarly with brain fog and mental problems, unable to focus, etc. Watching porn can mess with and change your brain physically like being addicted to drugs or other substances.

I believe we were created for the real thing, sex with a girl. And I'm sorry to hear about your recent experience. I know that has to seem depressing but sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to push off the ground and get back up.

I admire your courage and promise you are making. I believe you are headed in a good direction. Know that if you do relapse, it isn't the end of the world, but do keep pressing forward. You can do it!

When I first started watching porn and for the majority of my 10+ years watching it, it was just my lust for women and their bodies. I grew up with a pretty normal family and living situation, even grew up in a church. Never abused, always had friends, loving parents and siblings. Nothing about my pre-porn life had or has anything to do with me watching it ever.

Only recently in the past 5 months because of my job has stress brought it about to relieve stress (or so I thought it would but it doesn't ultimately), and even still that is coupled with my enduring lust for women.

I and 3 other of my good friends experienced porn-related dysfunctions. All of us were normal dudes with normal lives. Why did we all watch porn? Because we thought it was awesome and felt amazing "busting all kinds of nuts ".

This was me in a nut shell.

If a young teenage boy has unlimited access to naked females/males doing things he has never heard of, he does not have to have an 'issue' for him to over-consume the supernormal stimulus in front of his eyes. He is naturally wired to find it arousing.

Plainly put, I love boobs and butts and legs and skin. I should've probably already called animal patrol a couple times in my life for my obsession with doggystyle, it was out of control. Just kidding. Butt for real.

Simply put, porn addiction recovery is more about "why you can't stop", than it is "why you are addicted".

This is so true. I am addicted because I watch porn. Easy enough. I can't stop watching porn because I lust after women and as of late have unhealthy amounts of stress. I need to deal with the root issue of my lust to stop watching porn instead of focusing on trying to just stop watching porn.

Thanks for the great article and info! Truth.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Reboot Battle
« on: March 11, 2014, 11:31:53 PM »
Over the weekend I went to a men's retreat with my church where I learned some eye-opening information that I would like to share.

I've always related my actions back to my thoughts and/or emotions which seems logical enough. However, it isn't deep enough! I stopped short of what ultimately influences my actions. That is my beliefs. This is true whether they are spiritual or not.

Take this model (Beliefs -> Thoughts -> Emotions -> Actions) and reverse the order to see how your belief brings about a certain action.

For example, my action is PMOing. I do this because I feel stressed (emotion). My thought behind the emotion is that my work is meaningless, stressful, and not fun. In most cases this seems like enough information to justify my action BUT take it one step further. My thought comes from my belief in that what I do defines me! And this is a lie!

What I do and where I am at or where I am going does not define me as a man or human, but we put so much emphasis on that in our world. How often is the question "What do you do?" or "What are you majoring in?" asked in a given conversation with someone you just met or don't know? A lot, in case you don't know. Just pay attention next time and you'll hear it soon enough.

It's never about who you are or who you are becoming. Who you are becoming is far more important than simply just what you are doing at the given time. Today I work in the medical field, tomorrow I quit and work in the oil industry. Jobs change, roles change, majors change but you are who you are and that's only changing for better or for worse, growing or decaying based on what we believe.

The flip side of this equation is to start over with the right beliefs:
Belief->Who I am in Christ defines me, Col. 2:8, 2 Cor. 3:5,  Ephesians 2:1-10, (pair this step with scripture to continue to renew your mind about the truth)->Thought->Work has a purpose but not to ultimately fulfill or define me->Emotion (a Fruit of the Spirit)->I'm at peace with what I do, I have patience and contentment with where I am at->Action->I work hard unto the Lord without stress and don't need to release something that doesn't exist (i.e. stress) by PMOing.

Try it for yourself with any action, not just PMOing, though that would be a good one to start with. See if you can trace it back to a belief that is a lie. Then reverse the order with a belief of truth.

Hope this helps!

Ages 20-29 / Re: My Journal
« on: March 11, 2014, 10:42:05 PM »
Welcome Ninja! Glad you're here and thanks for sharing your story. Your outlook and goals are encouraging!

when I wake up I'd prefer to be slapped in the face rather than taking the cold shower. But after you take it it's awesome

I hate cold showers too but sometimes it's exactly what you need. I read a great quote recently that made think twice about doing the hard things even though most of the time I really don't want to:

"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment." -Jim Rohn

Continue to put the work in now for school and for your life and it will pay big dividends over time!


Ages 20-29 / Reboot Battle
« on: March 07, 2014, 06:28:24 PM »
I'm 25 and I've suffered from PMO for 13 years now. During that time, I've had months of victory here and there and then plenty more of times of defeat.

Over the past couple of years, I've learned from Gabe the negative effects that porn can have on my brain and it has greatly help my understanding of the science side. His testimony is an encouragement to all.

For me personally though, it has always been more of a spiritual battle even though I recognize that the physical aspect of it is still there. I just relate to the spiritual side of it more.

I'm starting my reboot battle now.

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