Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - screwedup40

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5
51
I'm not sure how far down the hole you are and how long it will take you to recover.  Everyone's benefits, timetable, motivation for quitting, etc... is different.  It sounds like if you are getting erect to snaps but not the real thing then your brain is probably wired to the screen.  That can take some time to reverse.  For some of us, a lot of time. I would cut out all artificial stimulation and see what happens.

A relapse is another thing that is unique to each individual.  Going back to porn is almost universally considered a relapse.  However, some consider MO without porn a relapse too.  Some don't.  It just depends what your goals are.

52
Success Stories / Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« on: May 14, 2017, 09:42:46 PM »
Very inspiring update!  You are really a trailblazer for those of us that are taking way longer then the 90 days.  Thanks for coming back and posting your successes.  I'm using them as motivation since I've lost faith in this process multiple times.

53
Ages 40 and up / Re: Over 10 Months Clean...And Counting
« on: April 12, 2017, 08:40:18 PM »
Boy, this sounds so much like me.  I would say that was most of this last year.  Flatlined, not flatlined, and somewhere in between.  I will say that coming up on two years I feel like I'm starting to get close.  Sex has been good lately and my libido is actually sticking around.  Who knows man?  Maybe we'll both be posting a success story this next year! 

54
Ages 40 and up / Re: Over 10 Months Clean...And Counting
« on: April 07, 2017, 07:26:42 PM »
I wish I had a good answer for you.  Almost two years clean and still up and down.  Doesn't seem to be effected by orgasm frequency, just happens with no rhyme or reason.  That being said, the downs seem to last less time now.  Still can be soul crushing when a down period hits after all this time.  Hang in there man. You're a veteran and have a good attitude and the right outlook about this.  As long as we stay clean I think/hope we'll get to the point of normal.  Eventually...

55
Ages 40 and up / Re: Over 10 Months Clean...And Counting
« on: April 03, 2017, 08:04:50 PM »
Ahhh, the good old relapse nightmare.  I experienced those in the beginning.  Now I keep having periodic sex dreams about my wife and I'm always surprised in the dream that my erection works.  Messed up... I know.  The brain is a strange, scary, and powerful thing.

56
There's quite a few entries in the success story section.  Plenty of people have recovered.  Go have a look.

57
Ages 20-29 / Re: My story...long recovery. No porn for 1yr5months
« on: March 27, 2017, 08:20:51 PM »
Hey man, I'm almost two years in and still not recovered.  Flatlines still show up, but not as often or for as long.  It does get better.  It's great that your girlfriend knows and is willing to support you.  That being said, I can totally relate to the anxiety and doubt you're still feeling.  The only advice I can give is to hang in there.  Many have walked this path before us and managed to recover, we can too. 

58
Success Stories / Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« on: February 28, 2017, 08:42:51 PM »
This is super encouraging!  Thanks for keeping this thread updated

59
Porn Addiction / Re: Losing erection at penetration
« on: February 12, 2017, 09:17:32 PM »
Has anyone else experienced this?

I've been fighting PIED with the help of my very supportive girlfriend for some time now. It's getting better, but it's a slow process.

I used to not be able to get it up at all, now I'm getting a hard on during foreplay. Unfortunately, when I go to penetrate her I lose my erection.

Usually I just fap a bit to get it hard again and we're good to go, so it's not a disaster, but it's pretty annoying.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do to get over it?

I've experienced EXACTLY what you described.  I still do somewhat.  The only thing I've found that helps is time.  As time has went on its become less of an issue and I can usually tell now when things will work or not during foreplay.  I'd say 2/3 of the time now I get an erection that locks in.  However, there's still that 1/3 of the time where I'll lose it.  This is still much better then where I was at a year ago.  It's frustrating and sucks, but it should get better the longer you stay away from porn.

60
Thanks for the response. Much appreciated. Based on that info is there anyway to give an estimated time table as to when I'll be 100%? My apologies for the million questions.

In my mind that is the single hardest thing about this process in relation to PIED.  The time table is a total crapshoot.  Some take forever, like myself, others heal up in a couple months.   Wish I could give you something more definitive, but I can't.  The good news is that you should see improvement overall the longer you stay away from PMO.  Good luck.

61
Mine tanked hard before they started getting better.  Your brain has to unwire first (flatline) before it can begin healing.  Stick with it and you'll start to see improvement.  It may take awhile though, so be prepared for that.

Really? Can you cite the science the proves that this "flatline" is MANDATORY for everyone? I have not flatlined. I still want my wife--possibly even more than before I started getting sober. I still have plenty of libido without having to resort to pornography. But shouldn't that be IMPOSSIBLE?



Where did I say the flatline is mandatory?  No, I can't cite any particular article or journal other than the hundreds of rebooting accounts on YBOP, RN, YBR, and MY OWN EXPERIENCE.  I guess by your reasoning that's not a sufficient source so I must have imagined what happened.  I never said that everyone will go through a flatline but the OP is clearly going through something that sounds very similar to what I experience.  I was trying to be supportive.  Chill.

And it was! Thank you for your answer! :)

No problem man, glad it helped! 

62
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/finally-over.24924/

There are numerous accounts out there, this is just one example I found where it was a long reboot and he claims to be fully recovered.

63
Mine tanked hard before they started getting better.  Your brain has to unwire first (flatline) before it can begin healing.  Stick with it and you'll start to see improvement.  It may take awhile though, so be prepared for that.

Really? Can you cite the science the proves that this "flatline" is MANDATORY for everyone? I have not flatlined. I still want my wife--possibly even more than before I started getting sober. I still have plenty of libido without having to resort to pornography. But shouldn't that be IMPOSSIBLE?



Where did I say the flatline is mandatory?  No, I can't cite any particular article or journal other than the hundreds of rebooting accounts on YBOP, RN, YBR, and MY OWN EXPERIENCE.  I guess by your reasoning that's not a sufficient source so I must have imagined what happened.  I never said that everyone will go through a flatline but the OP is clearly going through something that sounds very similar to what I experience.  I was trying to be supportive.  Chill.

64
Mine tanked hard before they started getting better.  Your brain has to unwire first (flatline) before it can begin healing.  Stick with it and you'll start to see improvement.  It may take awhile though, so be prepared for that.

65
That's awesome!  That's a long time and I commend you for riding it out and not giving up hope.  Posts like these can really give hope to long rebooters, congrats.

66
Booter, so you've been in a flatline and are wondering whether or not you have other addictions such as internet that are slowing down your reboot?  I guess it's possible, but have you considered that maybe your reboot is just taking a really long time?  You wouldn't be the first person I've read about that took more than two years to recover.  I read this entire thread and it sounds like you were improving quite a bit and then hit another flatline.  I'm approaching the two year mark in a few months and I STILL hit flatlines for no reason.  I know in my case it's not in my head as I've usually built up some confidence from prior successes and boom! flatline.  If you have shown improvement over the last two years, then my guess is its porn that has caused this, you're still healing, and you just aren't done rebooting.  That being said, four hours a night surfing online is a lot.  Probably a good idea to scale back.   Best of luck. 

67
I'm not too far behind you and I'd say everything works about 50% of the time.  Like good for a month and then not so good for a month.  Libido is pretty much the same pattern.  Very frustrating. 

68
Did you have these symptoms at all prior to rebooting?  I had a couple of things that you mentioned the first several months of my reboot.  It did slowly get better.  These are probably withdrawals, but I also say it doesn't hurt to get checked out by a doctor just to make sure.  Hang in there, it gets better.  Just can be a really slow process.

69
That's very interesting.  Since I started rebooting I went the opposite way to where I'm super sensitive and have a hard time lasting.  As long as you are both happy with how it's progressing I don't think you're doing anything wrong.  It's great that you both can still maintain a sex life throughout the reboot.  I would imagine as time goes on it will only get better.  Best of luck to both of you.

70
Ask yourself why you wanted to quit in the first place.  Once you figure that out, use it as motivation to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and kick porn back out of your life.  Unfortunately this process isn't easy.  You've got to REALLY want it.  I personally have discovered I HATED the guy I'd become when I was pmoing.  I never want to see that asshole again.  I also had/have PIED and that shit is soul crushing.  Those are my motivators for staying away.  Find yours, use them as motivation, and get back on the horse!

72
I can totally relate to being to old for this shit!  Hey man, I know the theory is the older guys should heal quicker. But I've read enough accounts to see that is not always the case.  I'm 41 and my counter is accurate.  I'm still not healed.  Definitely better, but not healed all the way yet.  I don't know about you, but I definitely watched enough porn over the last several years that I can say I was unequivocally addicted.  That won't fix itself overnight.  It sounds like you did your due diligence with the doctors.  Might just be that you need more time.  If you have some free time in the next week or so look at a journal by another user SMS.  He was in his forties and it took him almost two years to heal up.  A terrible timeline, but he got there.  In the meantime, keep your head up and keep going! 

73
Success Stories / Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« on: September 27, 2016, 08:40:34 PM »
Way to stick with it!  Stories like yours give hope to those that go way beyond the 90 day Mark and still don't see much improvement.  Glad you figured it out and are finally getting results.  Congrats!

74
You need several T-level bloods closer in time to really establish true pic of what's happening.  It would be irresponsible to prescribe TRT on the basis of one result with a year's gap between that and the comparison data, especially when TRT may shut down your body's own T production, however lacklustre. Several years ago, I got really upset about 2 very low T-level bloods within two weeks of one another, but the 3rd a few weeks after that was in healthy-ish range for my age. It wasn't  chest-beatingly optimal, but it was okay to be going on with.  A private Endoc I consulted at time told me that wildly fluctuating T-levels are the norm and that he would want to see a whole cluster of symptoms before acting, not just one or two. Since then, I've had the familiar cycles of rampancy and also quasi-impotence, rather than the  steady decline one would expect from encroaching andropause, tho' of course there is an element of age-related cooling of the loins.   I seem to remember reading on YBOP or somewhere similar that low T-levels don't affect arousal or erectile health as much as you might think, tho' of course libido would be affected. But even so, I wouldn't make such a momentous decision unless I had at least 3 or 4 T-level results within a few weeks of each other that consistently showed no variation in the reduced concentration of the he-man hormone.     

Excellent advice!  I got my testosterone checked as well when I started this reboot and was told the same thing.  The numbers can fluctuate from week to week.  Sometimes wildly.  Not to say that you don't need trt, but it might be worth getting a couple more results before you commit. I think you've made a wise decision to research this further. 

75
Porn Addiction / Re: Healthy Mastubation
« on: September 15, 2016, 07:47:51 PM »
For me personally I'm not sure I'll ever get to a point of healthy masturbation.  I fantasized WAY too much when I used to MO to the point that I might as well have been watching porn (which I also did plenty of).  No judgements for those that do, but my goal is to never MO again.  But to the original point, if you can make it about sensation only with no fantasy than I imagine that would be healthier than the alternative.  Probably the only way to achieve that is to try it and see what happens. 

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5