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Messages - screwedup40

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101
It's a tough process, no doubt, and everyone's experience seems to be a little different.  I'm over 300 days PMO free and can tell you it DOES get better.  In my case, I flatlined the first two months and then started to recover sexually in month three to the point I thought my PIED was cured.  Unfortunately I was wrong and hit another flatline that was pretty freakin horrible.  It lasted till about month seven or eight.  Anxiety, ED, leakage, depression, insomnia, thoughts of never recovering, it absolutely sucked.  The good news is, I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm not there yet, but I feel much better and things are finally improving on the PIED front.  As far as dealing with the flatline, I think you're on the right path with exercise. I started running and it helped ALOT in dealing with the anxiety.  So for me, it was exercise, an understanding wife, and, of course, staying away from PMO.  Stick with it and best of luck brother.

102
Porn Addiction / Re: Fap-Free February !
« on: February 06, 2016, 01:51:46 PM »
All good here.  Stay strong fellas!

103
Porn Addiction / Re: Fap-Free February !
« on: January 28, 2016, 11:06:42 PM »
The end of February will put me just a little over 300 days clean.  So, count me in!

104
Porn Addiction / Re: Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.
« on: January 25, 2016, 09:48:31 PM »
Pretty cool link.  Seems to mirror ybop's explanation of a broken reward system.  Very interesting about the duration of the dopamine spike from porn vs sex and even hardcore drugs. 

105
Success Stories / Re: Keep fighting, guys!!!
« on: January 20, 2016, 09:42:55 PM »
This is excellent, congratulations!

106
Ages 40 and up / Re: Been a tough road
« on: August 08, 2015, 09:06:39 AM »
So it's now been about three months of no p and no m.  Really little to no urges in that time span either.  While I've seen some great benefits in my relationship with my wife, I'm disappointed and frustrated that the ED is still a problem.  It makes me wonder if I should have done a complete hardcore with no O from my wife?  I think I just need to accept that the brain heals in its own time.  I've had some successes in this time span and I know that's what I should focus on.  It's just difficult when I look to the future and think three more months? Six?  A year?  TWO YEARS?  I really need to get out of my head about this and just let time do its thing. 

107
Ages 40 and up / Re: Been a tough road
« on: August 07, 2015, 10:51:30 PM »
I appreciate the kind words hoopvol.  You are to be commended for coming onto this site and offering inspiration and encouragement from your experiences.  The struggle with xanax and the withdrawal effects have caught me off guard for sure.  I'd never used drugs and very rarely drink.  However, I've also considered the experience, while tough, a blessing in disguise.  It's doubtful I would have ever heard of PIED and just kept doing the same destructive and stupid things I have been doing for the better part of a decade (PMO and MO).  My hope is that sometime in the not too distant future I can look back at all of this and say "wow, that was a tough journey, but look how much better of a man I am for having went through it".  I feel like my wife and kids deserve nothing less. 

108
Ages 40 and up / Re: Been a tough road
« on: August 06, 2015, 03:38:01 PM »
Thanks for the encouragement ngu!  I have checked out the videos and am grateful for the posts and research that's been done.  My only regret is that this kind of stuff wasn't really out there six years ago.  While I did have some urges to mo in the beginning I've been pleasantly surprised how easy it was to quit watching p.  I've always felt it wasn't natural but was surprised how hard it was to stop in the past.  Once it was shown to me through all these other brave people's stories and research how destructive it was to my family, marriage, and general well being, I've given it up and haven't looked back.  The hardest part right now is just dealing with the insecurities of if I'll ever be truly healed.  I can honestly admit it's been one of the toughest times in my life.  A huge upside is how much more I've come to love and appreciate my wife through all of this.  We are closer now than we've been in many years.  I can see how wrongheaded my thinking was all these years that watching p was a 'victimless' activity.  Again, thanks for the encouragement, it's truly appreciated.

109
Ages 40 and up / Been a tough road
« on: August 06, 2015, 12:02:19 PM »
 Deleted

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