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Messages - the_wife

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Partners of Rebooters and Addicts / help
« on: August 04, 2016, 12:46:03 PM »
ok, so it will be 1 year next month since he came out with his addiction, but nothing has changed just worsen. He told me he watched child pornography and thinks he molested his cousin. I have a daughter from a previous relationship so i freaked out and kicked him out and he refuses to leave. and he recently got rid of his computer. i have no job,no money and no place to go. i am just a full time student
what can i do?

@hoopvol i find it 100 times easier when i read the books about porn addiction, he bought a few good books for us to help us. we now talk every day about him having any urges and what he did do block them out. i truly hate this situation, like whyyyy!!!!! lol but i guess this will make us stronger, well its what i hope. im happy im not alone though.  :)
thank you

It feels so good to know you are not alone. Thanks for responding. I am still lost and bot sure how to feel about my self yet. I hace to learn new ways to keep up my self esteem

so here is the back story:
I married my best friend we have one kid together soon to be two, he hid this addiction from me for 4 years, and i told him 3 times since being married if he continues i will leave him and never come back. He broke his promise and i lashed out with hateful words i packed my shit and was ready to move out of state, he sat me down and said he has an addiction to "fapping" i was shocked and disgusted, i thought he was lying so i can feel bad but he explained to me how he has been doing it for 19 years.

what broke me was when i asked him to swear on my life and he swore on my life he didnt do anything. and 1 day later i was on his phone looking up a word he was acting really fidgety and i knew immediately he is doing it agin.   my husband has never ever lied to anyone, he is a very honest person. one of the things i fell for.

so i cried and told him he was the last person i ever trusted and he felt bad so he he took the initiative to find a therapist and bought books to help him. we are working on this together.

i look back and feel so bad that i made him feel like a freak. i should have stopped to think. is this an issue
 since this incident i send my husband friendly reminders that i love him and he is a strong person.
he recently told me that he tried thinking about stuff that would turn him on but he didnt have any urges, i laughed and said "please dont do that' its still a fear in me.  :'(

from him being open and honest about all of this it has helped with quitting. we talk about this everyday when he he gets home. i ask him questions but if he isnt ready to answer illl let it slide.

but im still scared, i fear the withdrawals, i fear he is lying to me, i fear he will never be free of this. so im hoping i can talk to partners and loved ones on here.

thanks for reading and please fill free to message me some encouraging words, anything will help

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