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Messages - Ocarinustino

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151
UPDATE

 :D

14 days without porn and masturbation.Started waking up with morning erections. Getting 2-3 spontaneous erections during the day. They are solid and last for 3 mins if I dont give it a reason to keep standing.I thought about sex with one of girls in college and I started getting hard. This confirms penis itself was completely healthy. It was all obviously in my head and hormones. I dont know if erection would last if I masturbate or not. I also dont know if Im ready for sex and will the erection be able to keep up. Anyway Im planning on going to 21 days without porn. I will see what happens. Right now I still miss it,like a lot and with hard penis I would love to masturbate. But I gotta keep going since just knowing I can get hard and starting to think about real life women shows progress.

152
Ages 20-29 / Re: MY STORY how I got here and first 5 days of NOFAP.
« on: April 28, 2015, 09:48:29 AM »
UPDATE

So its the 8th day,entering 9th soon. I really miss masturbation and my favorite porn. I wake up with pretty beat down mood. I get irritated easily,no apetite for food or any will to do anything. My sex drive is pretty much close to 0.

If I think about something sexual I only think about my favorite pornstar,waiting for me to watch her do things for me on camera so i can get off. Worst part is I didnt even imagine myself doing her,I always imagined myself as bystander,watching other men satisfy on her body.

I still cant achieve interest in real woman. Actually,trying to watch real woman feels like a choir which is completely horrible. Porn really fucked me up and during reboot its only gonna get worse. Its that phase.

Morning wood non existent. I did get 3 spontaneous erections since I started Reboot though. I wasnt even thinking about porn,I was doing some stuff for my college. Guess boy is trying to fill himself up with blood but brain doesnt send enough since it got wasted on so much porn. Erections were very spongy and shall we say 60% complete and they died in about 2-3 mins.

Well thats about it,feeling like shit,but thats important part to get over in reboot. Keeping you posted!

153
My PIED started 14 days ago.I couldnt achieve any erection in any way immaginable even though my urogolist said physically its all cool down there. My penis is just like a lifeless hunk of meat. I decided to enter NOFAP 5 days ago. Today I got somewhat of spontaneous erection. It was far from proper hard erection to be able to perform intercourse though. Best way to describe it is my penis started prolonging,but instead of expected rock like texture,it had sort of spongy like one and it couldnt stand up straight but would fall down left or right since it didnt have proper stiffness.
Does anyone else get this half-boner,semi-hard,not-full,soft erection during this reboot process?

154
I dont know where to start.  :P
Thats honestly how I feel at the moment,foggy.But I guess I need to explain why I came here.

I was intruduced to porn at the age of 11 when I caught porn channel being turned on.I started masturbating at age of 12. In the beginning I used to masturbate 2-3 times a week,mostly using my fantasies in 80% of cases since I didnt have internet and cable was always occupied and it was difficult to get to dads playboy stash.

At the age of 14 I got internet and I started going to porn sites and started getting my fix. Masturbating to porn increased to 1-2 times a day every week. I mostly used porn to get off since then. I started having intimate bonds with girls at the age of 16. Kissing,caressing and everything else done by real girl turned me on a lot and of course getting a boner was a staple. I also experienced oral pleasure at this time and it was greatest. No erection problems whatsoever. Even though my jerking to porn routine was standard,I was still able to enjoy pleasure from real life women. Watching them and imagining doing stuff always got me hard instantly.I did work out and had good diet all this time. I was always in a pretty decent shape and never had any major problems. To this day I tried to keep myself in decent shape.

At 17 I met my first girlfriend. During dating her I still kept my porn routine.Both her and porn always had me super hard and ready to go.I had no problems whatsoever. Our first experience happened 4 months into relationship. It was awesome. It kept going for half a year and I felt great. There was no problem on my side. I was rock stiff,had morning woods every day and enjoyed thinking about eating her out and enjoying her body. Sadly we broke up and I went through a tough mental phase. I came to a phase of depression for losing her. I started to feel unsatisfied and I couldnt get a new girl. The farthest I went was I had 1 half drunk "one night stand" and one failed relationship which didnt last even 2 months with one horrible sex experience.That wasnt enough since I wanted real relationship with great sex like with her.

Realizing I cant achieve anything permanently physical,my only hope felt to be masturbating to porn to see my desires come to life. At 18,masturbating increased to 3 times a day every week. Since I didnt have any good sex for months I felt like I really needed to masturbate 21+ times a week.I gave up on seeking relationship and only had several make outs with girls,nothing serious and it slowly became less satisfying each time. Porn became my number one comfort.

In following 3 years I only kept masturbating to porn,almost completely ignoring real life women.My daily routine was smoking weed,drinking beer and masturbating 5 times a day to porn.I kept searching for new fetishes,more violent porn,more tension to get me off. The filthier with less morality,the better it was to get me hard.

2 weeks ago I woke up without morning wood,cold penis,non existent libido and felt like Ive been run over by a truck,I had no apetite,sleepy.I felt like I was dry. I went to my routine even tho I had no sex drive,since like I said,it became routine.Turned on my favorite porn video with my favorite pornstar,with my favorite fetish and guess what? My dick was completely limp and couldnt get up at all,no matter how hard I tried. I realized something was wrong. Next 3 days same scenario,no morning wood,no turn on even by my favorite stuff. Watching hot women on streets,trying to imagine some smutty stuff. Still nothing. It was limp and lifeless. I got super scared and went to doctor. Blood pressure good,testosterone levels normal,no signs of infections or damage,fatigue good. Doctor said my dick and balls were fine also so he didnt want to give me any pills or medications. I was desperate,I felt like nothing,almost felt like crying. I was like:"So,this is the end for me? 21 and I will never get to experience any sexual pleasure or drive,let alone be happy with a woman".

6 days ago I googled a bit and found yourbrainonporn. I checked it out and saw symptoms and I realized Im in the zone. Now I told myself:"Well,I must try something out. I mean its limp anyway so I guess this must be my problem. I mean Im watching porn almost 40 times a week and masturbating to it. Guess I went to a serious overdrive.

So here I am 5 days without porn and masturbating. Every morning I wake up with cold,emotionless penis,still no sex drive,no apetite at all,feeling dehydrated,always sleepy,depressed. I hope progressing will start showing. Might be slow but I believe my brain will start coming back. I just want you to know that Im sure there is light at the end of the tunnel for all of us.

Best of luck to all of you. Lets beat this problem which jammed our lives and real pleasures and feelings! Updates coming!

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