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Messages - zazen

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Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: March 13, 2015, 07:15:23 PM »
hey bro, hope u are doing good. just checking up on you

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: February 22, 2015, 01:28:52 AM »
bro, its crazy... I was in the gym yesterday,, and after working out a bit I was looking at a set of 36kg loose weights for some bench press.
I didnt think i could take them, but I asked a guy "hey can u help me,, I think i can just take 2 sets"... I wanted to achieve the two sets,, then at least I have tried.. and next time i might be able to take 3.

So I took the weight, and guess what.. I took 8 sets all alone,, he helped me with the last one only =)
what happened was I underestimated my self. There was no reason for that.  The result was I took weights that made me sore much more,, which will make me grow!..

its a cool analogy you bring up, with life and workout. Its true man..  push past it anyway and youll get stronger.
but the key is Push and Action.. "Knowing is not enough, You must Apply".. 

Feeling overwhelmed can get to you, it can quickly take over and put you all bummed out in the couch, wanting to do nothing..
letting you sit and watch crap (either the net or tv) and not going after what you want. This is the hard part,, and this is the part where we need to push.. push to change our habits.

Yea man I have my son.. actually we just woke up and he is sitting beside me eating some breakfast. taking him out to a shopping mall where they have this inside skiing later :)
I will update my post soon =)

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: February 21, 2015, 03:11:47 PM »
You are really a good father.. you are taking responsibility for your daughter and making sure to be there for her. I have no doubt in my mind this is the best way, for you and your daughters future relationship.
I can understand this path doesn't come easy,, but you are doing it for your family, your blood.. nothing better to choose than this.

Some how, Fight Club came to my mind when reading your posts. Ill try to refer some stuff to your situation.

Quote Chuck Palahniuk; "It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything."
As I see it, you are getting rid of some strings in your life.. strings that are not doing you good here and now... You are looking long-termed..  Where do I want to be in my future.. Let me get rid of the crap I dont need / makes me happy,, and let me go towards the stuff that makes me happy,, and gives me better life quality in my future self.  You are becoming more minimalist and choosing the stuff that are important for you.

You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Day by day, you are becoming more observant of yourself, your thoughts.. your inner demons and listening to yourself much more.. You are processing your thoughts better and becoming AWARE,... Aware of shi*t you dont need.. getting rid of excess and keeping your favorite stuff.. Aware that you WILL make it no matter what happens in your life.. Becoming aware, that you are not giving 1 fu#k what other people think of you... Aware that anything is possible and you can start over with your life as of, NOW!..  You can become the person you want to become... and all external stuff, the fancy stuff.. you dont need that. Keeping it simple. 
Your situation will switch eventually, try not to worry and steer towards the light pole, if you know what I mean. Focus your mind on how awesome u are ,, that you are the shit! :)

Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.
You might experience some pain right now bro. I understand your time now is hard for you.. Situation with ex and daughter, bankruptcy, financial standing, the house,..   But I feel there is energy inside of you that wont give in,.. you have a ton to give. You have my 100% trust,, I know this pain is here now, but just here to subside and to leave. Remember, after the rain will come sun!..  keep in there bro. I know you will find opportunities and find your way. dont ever think less of yourself or capability..  Just trust your gut,, that right now, you are on the right path...

Seeing your daughter more is the best decision man,.. as a father myself I can relate to this and much respect for doing what you are doing.

What it comes down to basically,, you are taking responsibility for your life.. you are changing your ways for the better. Are thing unsafe, uncertain, not knowing the future and unpredictable?.. Yes.. this is what it is suppose to be!.. Its called living and feeling alive.. its following your gut instinct and tearing down the invisible walls around you.
Will this be hard?,, I cant even imagine how hard it is right now man.. but I know you will find a way.

will leave u with a final quote from Bruce Lee.   

..."To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities."

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: February 11, 2015, 07:45:17 PM »
thanks alot man :) ..  the date got cancelled due to some work related stuff, but she is down to meetup soon. and working on another girl I met some time ago as well.. trying to hit up a date for next week.

Yea i am sure, and much more confident in having dates now =) I actually look forward to it, instead of before not wanting and feared the dates. the fact that i might sweat always worried me.. but now, if I even get that thought, I just let it pass aside and think "of coarse im going to rock the date.. she will love me!" ..  and with that mindset, I look forward to meetup the girl.

I felt the last days that when home at nights, my brain was hungering after seeing girl-pics again.. but this time I observed my actions quicker and didnt let it go further than 5-6min...   then I went to rebootnation to read some material, and I saw your last post.. where u linked to this :   that is an amazing post!.. thanks for sharing.

So I've decided not to arouse myself with the pics anymore. yea, my brain was trying to get the dopamine rush .. by replacing it with some images. It tricked me to think "ahh its nothing, just some images of yoga girls butts" hehe.. It got to me.

I had my first orgasms the last day, and it was because i got myself aroused by browsing some yogagirl images... I guess I browsed for like 10-15min, closed the laptop..  imagined some stuff and orgasm..

but I dont feel bad at all, have done it. I dont feel like it was a relapse or anything.. I learned more about myself. I had not had an O for +50 days... and I felt it didnt do anything for me. I felt it was not worth having that orgasm, for nothing. I had myself aroused and that lead to an O

...  So today I registered myselfe wanting to search for the stuff again.. but I quickly shut it down.  Its better to not arouse myself with fantasies.. it serves no point.. its not doing making me get more women by looking at images. 

So decided to go out more and talk to women.. making it a priority!.. My wingman is not around at the moment, so im going out myself even if its tough. and the downside is there havent been any women i'd like to stop the last week. But the main part is im doing something I didnt do before. I am going out, alone, to cafes, walking the streets... I really enjoy it!... 

And now I dont have a full-time job either, I got laid off   (it was planned btw -  I was fed up with the corporate world and planned this all along.)
So now I am enjoying my freedom, waking up when I want to, do what I want to.. learning new skills and taking care of myself.
I am sure I will do better with women, just as well as I'll find a opportunity within making money online and living a passive income life..

It would be awesome to meet up some time man! for sure!!.. Ill let u know if I am traveling to states, and u can tell me if coming to europe some time.. maybe we can arrange something if we are both close.

Gwyn, welcome to the forum man!..  yea alot of changes will happen for the better,, just stick to the program! :) ..
yea man you are right!..  especially expanding your comfortzone and working on mind and body!.. I am hitting the gym hard as well recently.. my body is growing and shit is looking more tight every day :D .. that feels great!.. 

I just finished reading "Osho - The joy of living dangerously".. Very good book about our fears and jumping into the uncertainty of life.. instead of living a passive life not worth living. He is advising meditation alot.. at least 20min a day. I am trying to do it..  its just I have to prioritise it better.

so regarding to meeting women, I have to make it a MUST.. make it URGENT. and take MASSIVE ACTION  (yea ive been listening to tony robbins lately haha).   

But really, I feel sometimes my brain is trying to get back to old habits.. trying to somehow avoid going out.
At least im observant and wont let it :D ..   its trying to lure me...  no no no..  its dealing with the wrong person haha..   

Tomorrow ill head out again. Hope a nice woman crosses my path so I can show my ego that its all good'.. this is the new Me,  by doing it again and again and again.. till there wont be any worries about "who is watching, im stopping this woman all alone".. 

yea man im staying strong :) .. I am carrying on!.. 
Thank you for your support as well.. I am sure it would not have gone this well, without knowing an awesome guy like you was reading and responding to my posts.


Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: February 11, 2015, 07:01:58 PM »
What a great post!..  and thank u for that link,, its been really good reading it!..
Look forward to read how everything is going with you and business. We speak up soon :D

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: February 05, 2015, 07:27:06 PM »
Hey   :D
A quick summary.. its 52 days now, no Porn no Orgasm .. hehe   its pretty crazy.
so here we go.

When I started out I experienced massive wood.. I still get that.. Now its not just when I wake up middle of the night/mornings. I can talk to women, and from the joy of taking action / having an awesome conversation I can get a wood. That is awesome in itself haha.. feels really great and women sense changes in you. I dont need to fight porn away or anything.. Its just not a part of me anymore. In the beginning I had cravings, but now my mindset just doesnt see it as an option.. which leads me to

I feel more and more confident in myself.. for every day!.. I just got fired today (dont worry, it was a part of my plan=) and I feel awesome!.. I know opportunities are lying ahead!.. I am no longer a sheep of a 9-5 job.
I stop women every day.. before this, hahaha.. I would not approach women just out of the blue'.. I was Nervous as hell!.. but now, my mindset is like "fuck it.. what u got to loose"..  I do listen to self-made affirmations daily which helps me I am sure. All in all, I am listening to my body much much more, and takes us to

Nature is guiding me towards the things I want, and I go for it!.. Ive longed for a girl for a long time.. Ive longed to quit my high-paid job (but low life/work-quality) and I did it.. I am listening to my heart and not letting my mind block me for the things I want to pursue. By not numbing my brain, some switch has been made for sure in my mind. Like nature is feeding my mind some wolf-cells in it and telling me to "GO!.. GRIND!.. FAIL AND FIGHT!".. Nature is taking over my mind and body and projecting a more Dominant, Masculine figure.. An awesome Guy.. actually the guy that i have always been, but didnt have the courage to be.. to let him shine through.  Had I been masturbating to porn, I'd be all lazy and feel bad every day... and a feeling of not being Alive, yet a 'passive' persona.

Fear is not real. I have known this for a long time...  but actually going towards my fears? Actually heading towards the abyss, the uncertainty?..  What does that take... it takes a MAN. A Man that takes a decision and sticks to his decision no matter the adversity along the way. It takes COURAGE. Now listen... I know im only 52 days in, but I feel I've grown as if it was 12 months!..  The boldness, the courage, the power ive gotten is crazy. Observing my habits daily, Changing my bad habits and finally .. finally facing, my fears. for they are not real. I am failing every day but this is millions times better since im Growing every day!.. 
I am observing my ego much more.. the ego thats trying to put up the invisible walls around me .. but im not letting it keeping me caged. Im breaking the walls every day. I am becomming stronger for each day, to not let the fears control me.. I take the control!

As you see, alot of change is happening for me for the good. I am not sure if I can put all on it being keeping away from PMO. But obviously this has helped tremendously!..
But I can tell you one thing...... The support here has been worth gold for me. Finding someone to write with here, thats going through the same journey..
someone that takes the time to ask how one is doing.. and letting u know you are on the right path. I cannot put a price on that.. Im so thankful. It has helped me ALOT towards being a better version of me. ntg has been the best support for me here!.. thanks brother - and high-fiving all other guys in here thats been supportive as well!.. thanks for welcoming me to this awesome journey!..

So where is life headed from now?.. I can tell you for certainty. Porn is no longer an option at all.. I will NEVER go back to that fake crap. It destroyed alot of me before.. I will not let it anymore. There will be a time where I will laugh at it for even trying to enter my mind!..

and for the rest?... I have an awesome journey ahead of me. I will follow my passion and grind to make a living of it. Im extatic I got fired today!! YESSSS!!! FREEDOMMM :D :D
I am not going back to 9-5 corporate office zombie jobs, hell no!..

I will be traveling more this year.. and Im sure it will lead to new possibilities in my life.

Negative stuff
sorry there is just one thing, I must admit, I have been seeing some pictures of women in yoga pants haha.. but thats it,, I didnt obsess about them or anything, max 5min of checking some pics out.
I cant say that is too bad,, thinking of the progress i've made :D :D .. but I do get horny, alot .. haha for godness its been 52 days with no sex or anything..  so yea the women can sense it on me.. most of the women I've stopped have a boyfriend.. and not just being an excuse.. I think women here has boyfriends in winther time, and summer time they are more available :D .. We will see.. But when I get home, I get in the hot-tub,, I do think of women, might see some pics of the yoga girls but thats all. not doing anything .. just hoping and wishing that tomorrow will be a better day with more women to talk to :)     but man I do feel the pressure rising hahaha..  but I told myself, Im not doing anything before its real sex! .. Im sure I wont even last 1second when having sex next time hahaha.. but there are 12 rounds in a boxing match :D

52-day conclusion
I was about to write this is the best thing happening for me ever, and I burst to tears.. Im so thankfull for finding this site. This has been the best journey so far and I love how my life is changing towards the better for each day. Stuff I always been dreaming of, wishing for.. now I am actually living it!..

and ntg bro, hehe.. not swimming in women yet.. but im getting better an being social and showing myself as a MAN!.. Stopping women everyday, but with all the snow and stuff,, not a lot of nice women out..
but I met a really nice 29-30yo woman yesterday.. and she seems to be into me as well :D so I really look forward to have some red wine with her.. perhaps this weekend.

But mostly I am just glad I am becoming better at the social-skills each and every day.
I do not care for results with women right now.. I am just following the plan and executing :) .. the rest will come eventually.. I am a patient guy ;) ..

I hope it was a little inspiration for the newcomers as well. I am also a newcomer, but I feel and see a Huge change already. 

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: February 03, 2015, 03:28:37 PM »
Brooo!! U are doing awesome as ever man!!
Keep feeding your minds with positive stuff (as I see you are doing with the YT videos :D  - Keep em coming!) ..

You are headed in the right direction. Keep doing the stuff that makes you happy. Keep doing what u love to do.
This is very important for all of us.. to have a sense of direction as a man.. following our passions!

and yea, I totally agree with you, that women sense, that we are doing something better for our selfes.
I wishing the best for going at your company!.. remember to work on the things you find awesome, and outsource the boring stuff!.. ( i just alot ).

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 31, 2015, 05:07:30 AM »
Bro that's awesome man!!! Ur going STRONG! Loving it ur taking controle of ur body.. Talk to ur muscles, tell them ur the boss!! I bet u know videos of CT fletcher and Mike Rashid,, they do the same when they train, rather overtrain!.. And it's fuckin awesome. Ct fletcher also has an app that pumps u even more,, it's great!  Yea man Gregg Plitt was the biggest inspiration (rip) his words and actions are a huge inspiration!..  Cool you are getting help from other forums as well..I can see how much this is helping me, so definitely forums are great! I think I'd like to find a forum for business, maybe passive income forum.  I wanna hit the gym now after reading ur post!! It's been a week missing the gym for me as well,, and my body is craving the pump!! :D thanks for the post bro! Ur an inspiration and u keep me motivated to do better in my life.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 31, 2015, 04:54:47 AM »
Thanks for checking up bro!..
Yea 47 days .. Never thought I could do that long when starting out hehe. I'm still doing great and nothing is stopping me :D still going at the challenge with stopping women daily. Some days I get better reactions and some days I get numbers,, but most of them don't reply haha,, so I know this is a part of the game. I'm not taking anything personal or getting all emotional about it.

 It's just a plateau and its all a apart of the game. I'm keeping at it. I've never stopped that many lady's, so it's pretty crazy coming from a place where I didn't have the balls to say anything to women because I thought I was shy. I just needed action in my life, and accepting to fail with women in order to find out I weren't actually shy.. In order to get a woman in my life. Just going out and trying, failing and learning is the best thing ever happened for me :D

Yea bro I am a strong man :D .. I have actually created affirmations for myselfe.. 1 hour of audio I listen to daily. That shit helps correcting your mind!.. It just needs to be listened to daily or won't help. The best way to make the adfirmatikns is to install an app on phone called "opinions" an audio voice recorder. I already had prepared +300 affirmations whilst reading A book of Pook (awesome book if u want more women in ur life)

Thanks for following up on me :D

Ages 30-39 / Will you fight like this guy, when adversity comes?
« on: January 26, 2015, 06:02:04 PM »
I am 42 days in and its going good for me.
However, I am preparing for a tuff time. They will come to us all.

Days where we feel beaten, down and feels like nothing will go in our way.. like nothing good will turn out. be ready for those days. they will come.

but who ever said this would be easy?.. no one, because if this was easy.. everyone would be doing it right. remember yourself that this is suppose to be hard!

"what if I get beaten down" you ask?.. you will get beaten down where you feel like giving up... but the fight is never over untill you let it. Its in your hands, you are in control always!... 

give me 5minuttes of your time.. and watch this clip and tell me what you see. then get back to this post.

What do I see?
I see a man that is severly beaten up..

He can barely see out of his eyes.

He can barely stand up...

he gets knocked out twice, yet he finds the fortitude to stand up again..

He is almost beaten,, but his heart tells him to continue the fight. Continue the struggle.

He wont quit. 

... at a point his coach Joe Rossen looks him in his eyes and tells him "you better fucking go inside on him".... 

think of it, his coach didnt think of the fact that his fighter was about to loose..

he focused on the direction he needed to go! :: Forward and never ever give up.

...What happens in the next minuttes you see for yourselfe.

You will see a man that did not give up, even if everything appeared to be the end of his career.

He Fought with every last breath, every last energy in his body to win the battle.

Remember this fight.. and be ready for adversity when they cross your path. They will.

... Dont ever give up. Ever! You are in control.

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 26, 2015, 05:29:03 PM »
Im really proud of you man!! I look forward to get that mail from rebootnation to see if any posts from you. You are making huge progress!! I am glad your brain is beginning to heal itself and ever so slowly get a much better positive perspectice on women... and not in a porn related way. Your progress will graduatly make you love women more, become more masculine and become a better you - you totally deserve it. You are a good man and I am sure you have done some things in your life, you might think less of.. which you actually shouldnt. Think back of some things you were proud of,, now take that feeling and double it. You deserve being proud of yourselfe. Dont let anyone tell you less of yourselfe,, not even "yourself".

thanks bro, I have my wingman for now and I am taking action for now.. I think too much info will be too much at the momenbt. I will proceed with that for now - but thanks for the offer, ill say so if needed.  Im reading "a book of pook" at the moment and really learning some good stuff from there as well.

awesome you took action and acted first!! that inspires me so much. which reminds me of one of the first lessons in a book of pook. let me paste it here.. i hope its ok.


“Rejection is better than Regret”
“Remember,” said Pook. “Change is gradual. Before, you saw no opportunities.
Now, you see them all about you, yet you are too hesitant to take them. You’re
slowly becoming more aware.”
“What are you saying?”
“When you find yourself hesitant, always yield to Action. If you see her, do not
wait, gawk or wait for a ‘perfect moment’. Action, action, action!”
“Pook, I cannot. You see… I am insecure. I don’t have that confidence!”
“You are confusing CAUSE and EFFECT. The CAUSE of your hesitant nature is not
because of your insecurity. You have not gotten what you’ve wanted, what you’ve
desired. THAT is the cause of your hesitant nature.”
“You are caught in the vicious cycle. You are hesitant because you are not used for
things going your way. And things will never go your way because you remain
hesitant. You see what you want, become hesitant, and the door of opportunity
closes. It happens again. And again. And again. With each choice towards
Inaction, you reject yourself a little bit more.”
Pook continued. “This is where that cycle of hesitation leads. In your world of
Hesitation, you shred off more and more of your manliness until you turn into a
full-fledged Nice Guy. Then you seek to remove hesitation by making the approach
risk free. Then you start giving gifts, poetry, flowers, and declarations of love. You
start to examine and re-examine non-existent signals until they read the way you
want them to read. In the end, you place her on the pedestal and throw yourself to
her worship.
“If there is a choice between less pain or the possibility of more pain, we default to
the less pain. In adolescence, going for a girl and failing made you think everyone
else would laugh at you. Whether or not it was true, you thought it was true. This
was how you were kept within the cycle.”
“But Pook! How do I get out?”
“By realizing that the choice of Inaction is more painful than Action. Childhood is
over. You are the MAN. You must approach. Always default to Action now. From
those of us who wasted years in that hesitation mode know that Rejection is always
better than Regret. Always.”


She seems to be a good girl which can support you as well. So awesome you cuddled and kissed for hours... And a big progress in how your brain is re-wiring,, and your mind disassociating being with women.. so awesome you are feeling more aware and feeling how wonderful it is being with a woman, and not thinking of porn and such.  You are on the right path.. you are being in control and taking the right decisions towards a better mind and body. Your body is thanking you each and every day for that.. proceed doing what your doing. I know nothing will stop you now.

Thanks Leon, Im glad I inspire others here =). I am just a newbie in this, but I see how much this helps me in a positive way, so I love to share my experience with others. Thank you for the encouraging words ntg bro =) .. yea man this is definetly more helpful that I could ever imagine. When I created my account, I'd never think, that typing down my thoughts and feelings would be this helpful.

Bro im like 41 days in or so,, my body is going crazy haha.. today i was a passanger in my friends car and seriosly i felt like a Wolf.. My eyes were scanning for women (and it was raining outside)..  My mind is working towards Reality.. Facing Fears.. Getting "rejections" from women and a hunger for learning to improve with women.. I am becoming... HUUNGRY!! :D  No more artificial stuff.. I lust for being a masculine man and stating what I want. bro, wait till you get to day 41 hahaa... this shit is crazy lol..  porn is the least im thinking of. Now I just want to learn.. get better.. So I can have real-life relationships with women.  This is helping us so much in alot of ways, and Im glad we here are supporting each other to become a better version of our selfes.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 26, 2015, 03:44:09 PM »
thanks for the support bro! :) am so glad you are following my progress.
today was fun as well, stopped a really quick-walking girl,, i was assertive and playful and didnt follow her quick pace, i just said in a assertive fun and playfull way "yo wait, come here.. come here :D... just 2 seconds.. " and she came back and talked to me, but she was in way hurry so i made fun of it and she said thanks and walked .. a fun stop. Yea bro its getting better :) and not doing P is helping as well... but also the massive support I get from you and my wingman for sure!!

id love to know more about channeling my sexual energy bro.. pls send me some info.

i had one woman in a mall, id reeeaallly like to stop.. i went for her, but then my mind began to think too much about it "you are in a mall.. you might sweat, and she might see it..and then what?.. " shit like that.. so she passed me, and i didnt approach her. Too much thinking .. and right now, sitting at home and really annoyed about it. But I can use this negative energy in a positive way.
I can take that as a lesson, and next time actually going for it.. whether its just giving the compliment and ejecting. yea.. that I should have done. Thats actually how I started on the street...

yeaa,, it all comes toghether now! hah..  off coarse.. if i want to approach women in mall/shoppiing center etc. I should start small - compliment and eject. do that enough times, untill your body is confident with it.. then on to next step.  wow, I just had an aha moment while writing it down here :D

your right.. keep reminding yourself "is she something for me?.. hmm, let me find out." .. and again with next woman, "is SHE something for me?.. let me find out. " simple as that. switching your mindset !!  I will wake up early tomorrow, head out and workout.. then work on my laptop in a cafe, then ill hit the streets alone again. this time in another city.

Ages 30-39 / Re: time to kick this
« on: January 25, 2015, 01:11:08 PM »
pd38, props for helping others out man!..
hey troys welcome man..  you can do it!! keep up the good work. We all started same place.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 25, 2015, 01:07:29 PM »
alright.. this weekend, the last days.. ive learned a couple of things.
so me and my wing has this "stop a woman per day" challenge.. we went to sweden the last days, and I stopped 3 women and got 3 numbers,, it was crazy! I was totally boss that day.
I learned I can get numbers from hot women, I learned I can approach anyone without anyone giving a sh%t.. and it was just an amazing day.

then yesterday, I had this amazing date with an amazing woman.. she was soo intelligent and we spoke for 5 hours straight.. amazing date ever. I was very nervous to meet her initially,because of her workstatus, her career ,, and the fact I havent dated for many years. But she was just as awesome as me :D .. we totally clicked. We kissed at my place later that evening and it felt really good.. I got hard while she was talking, so thats a good sign hehe..  She wasnt specifically my type (the blond type thingy),, but we hit it off really good. Anyways, I learned that dating is awesome! there was nothing to be afraid of, og anxious of..  it was a good time, with some good cocktails and awesome conversation. So I look forward for more dating in 2015

so what up with P you ask?... dude, I havent orgasmd in effing 41 days haha.. and not seen P either.. and im still lovin it!! My mind keep re-inforcing I dont need that shi# .. it simply has not done anything good for my life,, at all!..   Im not sure how long I can keep in the man-juices haha,, because some times I feel like O..  but I am 100% I wont be doing it to any screen of any kind. But I am still keeping my T-levels high.. Im approaching women daily (the challenge),, and actually another wingman jumped along the challenge, so we are 3 persons that has to report an audio-clip approach daily.  Its pretty awesome and way out of my comfort-zone, but I am getting better each and every day.. and just more aware of the things im doing right/wrong and what to make better for next time.

so all in all, im still in the game. Im still doing awesome and I wont let anything in my path to stop me!! Porn is not a ##cking option!! Im so much more glad now, I am actually going out,, meeting women.. and they Love it!.. holy shit thats another dimension hahah..  right now its snowing here, so the conditions are not that good, but there is no excuse - 1 stop per day,, MUST. So one must become creative. (malls, grocery stores, train stops, get out of car and approach girl) .. its crazy but fun.. and not so much frightening anymore haha.

I know I will get better with women when I am keeping it up at this pace. Thanks all for support and cheering on me=) .. approaching women and having women in my life, is something I have had really big issues with the last 10 years. and now I am actually taking action towards my "fears" by expressing what I want.

and I am sure that stopping the P has done tremendous for this development. Have I been jacking it off to P daily still,, there would be No chance I'd go out and do what I do. I would be numbing my mind, spirit and body to fucking lazyness.. to not want to go out and get real-life women.
thinking of it.. It was a medicine to avoid confrontation, to avoid getting rejections ,.. because my Ego could not handle that. That would be a big breach to my oh-so snow-flake special like ME.. oh now.. if I got a rejection, everyone in the world would now and I would be considered the biggest looser...

Fuck that!! now, I dont give a fu#k.. To hell what people think of me,, let them talk! They dont have the ball to do what I do... and thats why I am getting better.. thats why I am improving myself.
Only a true man will conquer his fears.. 

sorry for the rant, just had to get some stuff out =).. all in all, doing Awesome

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 25, 2015, 12:44:11 PM »
hey bro,
how was ur weekend?.. how is business going and have you had your daughter this weekend?
I presume you are still in the game,, actually I expect that from you bro :) .. we are doing this together. Im 41 days in and feeling awesome.

How about triggers?.. anything you remember of?.. where u thought of P for a second?..  Im curios to know.

keep us updated. :D

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 25, 2015, 12:40:48 PM »
hey bro,,
that effing amazing man!! you are doing awesome! the exact happened for me during my progress. I became more aware of my triggers,, and as soon as the urges popped up my mind went attack-mode on those thoughts.. "P it not worth it.. U really wanna break your record etc" My mind keep reinforcing its selfe,, how Shit P is and it did 0 good for me the last 15 years..

bro, you wouldnt believe me,, but the amount of women I stop daily now.. compared to just numbing my self with P before.. shit its a total difference. I am such more MAN now..
I have a challenge going, to stop at least 1 girl a day.. and im a week in or so. I had the best date ever last night.. things are going in the right direction when not dealing with fake ass P  .. trust me the women can smell it on you. So my advice is try to go more out and enjoy life. be gratefull for the things we have taken for granted. Do the stuff that makes you happy.
Yea there are triggers everywhere,, but your mind is aware now.. its awakened.. its ready to be in control and fight the stuff, that is no longer a part of you. Its slowly but surely loosings its power over you and going out of your system.

im what, 41 days in,, man its a great feeling! and i haven not even had orgasm, so my testorone is pretty high and craving to meet girls, so its awesome.

anyways, keep it up man.. dont even think of loosing your record for that shit. I am counting on you and I expect you to be here on day 60 so I can give you a bigass salute! your on the right path, dont let nothing distract you from your path, your vision and your goals .. nothing!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 23, 2015, 06:50:36 AM »
Hey Bro,
Im at same stage as you are ... not craving for porn or anything artificial anymore (btw, that is awesome!) ..
You long for being intimate and having intense desires with a girl, and not just sex'.. but feeling the love. I can totally relate to that as well.
To achieve that, you are on the right path my brother.. we both are. This is a tough time being social all the sudden, and sometimes you dont get any results etc.. but keep doing what you are doing no matter what. Its great you are excited about taking your time, enjoying the moments... this life is a marathan and not a sprint. You are progressing slowly every day. Something I feel really helping me, is that my wingman challenged me by stopping a girl once a day (and i had to audio-record it and send to each other). That takes me out of the comfort zone, because I HAVE TO do the stuff,, I've always wanted to do, yet scared to do.  Maybe there are stuff in your life, where you are scared to do something.. but you know you will grow if you do it..  think of 1 thing, what comes in mind?..  and think of ideas where someone could hold you accountable. If anything, I will offer my help via whatsapp daily if wanted.

"Bring it on, I'm doing running from my shit.  Time to stop running and put my life in order.  Time to take back my life in all areas." Awesome attitude man!..  Just like myself hehe.
But hey, sometimes its easier said that done.. because when you are in that situation where your ego, your false self,  holds you back.. trying to stay in that comfort zone,, this is where it counts.... that is the time for action and switching the mind off. being courageous....  what is being courageous.. its when your heart is telling you to do something, but your mind is telling you all the risks what could go wrong,, however you act despite the fears and take the leap into uncertainty. ... which in all cases will show nothing bad came out of that, but growth.

will catch u later.. going out now my friend.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 22, 2015, 09:57:39 AM »
Thank you so much for the encouraging words man.. It means very much to me. Thank you so much for your support, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. This journey will be even better with words coming from an awesome guy like you.

You are right. I am a Man, and acting and behaving like one. No time for bullshit,, going for what I want. yea I'll think more "is she for me" and turning the tables. That will make a great shift I'm sure.

ill update the post soon again :)

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 22, 2015, 08:50:32 AM »
Everything is doing great here. Still no PMO, 38 days in.. thats pretty good.. and dont feel like watching it at all anymore.. My mind has made a huge shift when it comes to P its crazy... actually I dont think about P anymore. Sometimes I get aroused when with myself, but never to the point where I M.. I keep it inside  ;D... Workout doing good, I show up regularly and work out hard.

Regarding to the pickup,, I've made an agreement/challenge with my wingman. Approach 1 woman a day, voice-record it, and send to each other.
If we dont do it, we have to pay 10$. Its getting me out of my comfortzone for sure... some times I feel like not approaching, but I dont want to lose to the challenge, so I must do it. We are 3rd day in now.. so heading out later today to approach. I feel doing it this way, I will slowly but surely grow, and get away from the old-me.. the insecure me, which abused P daily and not being a Man.

As far as I can see, the women loves my approaches!.. some are available, some are not. Some conversations are totally uncalibrated, and some are much much better. My wing is awesome at giving constructive feedback.. and we are there for each other alot. So that helps alot.
Some times it is kind of "frightening" ,, thoughts like "what are others around me saying, when they see me approaching this woman, making her laugh and smile" ... but fuck it... they dont live my life. They dont care if I live or die.. so better to just approach.. so I can grow, learn and become better socially. 

I have a date saturday.. she is way over my league (career wise) but Ill try to knock her intelligence off by reversing it and be romantic and sexy :) .. Im not playing her game. But for the date, I definitely have to step up my game.. I havent dated for ages... But I'll just be me, thats all I can be.  If she is not into me, thats cool.. there are alot of cats out there. And if I dont find her my type, thats cool too.. we will probably have a good time anyways.. We had a great vibe when I stopped her 2 days ago.

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 17, 2015, 11:54:09 AM »
Dude you are at 22 days!! That is great!!
Keep it up man.. Your brain is being rewired to normality.
Remember now the mind will try to play tricks on u ... To fall in our disgusting habits.
Always chose No and you are stronger than to fall in.

No ur not 'fixed'... This is a life long journey. There is no milestone to hit and then it's over.
Just Keep up the good work man, ur doing great.. Especially with exercising.

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 16, 2015, 05:42:12 PM »
my friend this is a long life-time journey. Not a goal-end thing... but the journey has to start with small steps, small successes, small milestones to remind you that you are on the right path.

Im afraid by taking away your counter, you will be less excited of reaching those milestones. we need small victory's right now..
When the counter says, 30,60,90,180, etc.. we celebrate.. when it hits 365 and beyond.. we have engrained this so much in your new lifestyle,, that we wont need a counter anymore.
but my belief is its good to have a counter, as we are beginning this new journey. You need too keep an eye on your progress. I feel great when I see 32 days!.. I would fell less great if I didnt know how many days I were in.  I am sure when I get beyond 1 year, 2 years.. I wont even think about it. Its just how it is.  Just like I dont think about putting o

When a rocketship is  blasted off.. It needs a ton of energy to set it off.. It needs coordinations to get to space, and so it wont fall down. Also, it will probably be 90% off-coarse, but the systems will auto-correct the failures each time.. auto-correcting the ship to stay on-coarse.....  when it hits orbit.. it wont need the coordinates nor energy anymore. it just is.   :)

bro, get that book. make it a goal to read that book . I promise you that book is GOLD for your relationship. "The incredible Years" program/book should be mandatory for all parents (IMO).

yea man a 60day mark thing would be cool.. cant really think of anything though',,, it must be something that pulls us towards that thing.  We are both doing the stuff that we want to do.... hmm,, dont really know.
Is there a favorite food/dish you can abstrain from.. and then eat it when we hit the 60day mark? =) .. something like that perhaps. 

hi steve,
my suggestion is also; start an journal!..  it will help you much more than you will imagine.
I have not been where I am today, without the support of the people in here.

You are not alone.. we have all tried being in your situation. This reboot is not suppose to be easy.. so take on the journey head on!..

but please believe me,, im 30 days in or so, and I feel really really good!! much more than the 15years of P addiction combined.
I am sure you will get there as well!

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 16, 2015, 02:21:18 PM »
Thanks bro!..   yea the most important part was I fought my own fear.. It felt so great afterwards no matter the result. Jumping into fearfull situations,, uncertain of how things might turn out. (of coarse not stupid stuff hehe).. those are the moments I feel alive.

Today I have come to a realisation, that I no longer need P in my life. This feeling I get, its below my stomach and above my crotch.. a weird radio-active feeling haha.. its like its ON all the time. All day I lust for women.. I see women all around me and they can sense I am Hungry :)
This feeling beats everything!.. I'd rather have it like this, than jerk this masculine-feeling away in the drain.

Yes I have a very good feeling about a P-free year for 2015!..

I have my son this weekend, so just spending time with him and enjoying his company.

take care all!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 15, 2015, 11:04:25 AM »
Yessss mann!!!! Glad to have read that. Just getting 1% better reach day...
You are being consistent, placing the seeds for a awesome future. Keep up the good work!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 15, 2015, 07:18:58 AM »
you are a big inspiration as well!.. yes definetly the brothership in here makes it much easier to be strong, and not to fall back to stuff that did us no good.
what we are doing now, is doing us good!... thats why we are staying strong for each other .. and keep reminding us to stay on the path - even when there will be bumps on the road,, which there will be.

lets break our goal down a bit. what about this suggestion.. When we reach 60 days, lets celebrate by with something draws us.

its crazy how similar goals we have hahaa..  but its awesome you've put it down like that. What I'd recommend is put it on a card / print it out in a card format... and read all 7 posts as often you can daily.
why?.. because i know it works!!.. the problem is really = you will stop reading out the goals after some days.. then it wont work.
If you are down for it.. i'd like you to PM me every day for the next 30 days with this line :"ive read my goals".  I will be glad to assist you bro.

and when you read out your goals out why,, say it with passions and end with a WHY.   for example

"Today  I WILL run 15 minutes"... "Why?.. Because It makes me feel effing great afterwards.. Because I feel alive and " etc.  Putting a WHY can help you defining the reason why you are doing it.

but really,, i know the hard part is doing it. I have 4 pages of "Why I am doing this... " and i barely read out the stuff. I'd like if we could do some kind of accountability for each other on daily basis.
just a simple thing like reading out ones goals.. to start with.

for step 3. I can sense you are a great father for your daughter man... you want better for you and her. Awesome!.. Just wanted to praise you on that. This part can be really hard, but a good friendship between ones child is the best thing ever. My father has been the best ever in my life. I remember only 1 time he shouted at me, when i was 5yo.  I still remember that. ...  make your daughter remember you for the awesome and great father you are. I know you are trying the best you can.. and you are aware of your anger. that is good!..  One good thing i learned is > Ignore the negative stuff the children do and praise the good things you see they do.
I cant explain it all here.. but there is an amazing book for children parenting.. its actually mostly self-help because all of if is because of the behaivor of parents... the children are pure and just a sponge. They get everything from us.. you know all that my friend. But the book is; Carolyn Webster-Stratton "the incredible years"..  my goal is to read that book again.

Brother you have inspired me to make my goals as well.. thank you for this!..  I want put focus on being progress-oriented and not result-oriented.
for example,, one of my goals would be:   Approach a woman once every week.   Then ive set the bar low.. and everything above will just result in success for me :) ..

You motivate me as well!.. Thank you for being here for us all!..

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