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Messages - zazen

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Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 25, 2015, 12:40:48 PM »
hey bro,,
that effing amazing man!! you are doing awesome! the exact happened for me during my progress. I became more aware of my triggers,, and as soon as the urges popped up my mind went attack-mode on those thoughts.. "P it not worth it.. U really wanna break your record etc" My mind keep reinforcing its selfe,, how Shit P is and it did 0 good for me the last 15 years..

bro, you wouldnt believe me,, but the amount of women I stop daily now.. compared to just numbing my self with P before.. shit its a total difference. I am such more MAN now..
I have a challenge going, to stop at least 1 girl a day.. and im a week in or so. I had the best date ever last night.. things are going in the right direction when not dealing with fake ass P  .. trust me the women can smell it on you. So my advice is try to go more out and enjoy life. be gratefull for the things we have taken for granted. Do the stuff that makes you happy.
Yea there are triggers everywhere,, but your mind is aware now.. its awakened.. its ready to be in control and fight the stuff, that is no longer a part of you. Its slowly but surely loosings its power over you and going out of your system.

im what, 41 days in,, man its a great feeling! and i haven not even had orgasm, so my testorone is pretty high and craving to meet girls, so its awesome.

anyways, keep it up man.. dont even think of loosing your record for that shit. I am counting on you and I expect you to be here on day 60 so I can give you a bigass salute! your on the right path, dont let nothing distract you from your path, your vision and your goals .. nothing!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 23, 2015, 06:50:36 AM »
Hey Bro,
Im at same stage as you are ... not craving for porn or anything artificial anymore (btw, that is awesome!) ..
You long for being intimate and having intense desires with a girl, and not just sex'.. but feeling the love. I can totally relate to that as well.
To achieve that, you are on the right path my brother.. we both are. This is a tough time being social all the sudden, and sometimes you dont get any results etc.. but keep doing what you are doing no matter what. Its great you are excited about taking your time, enjoying the moments... this life is a marathan and not a sprint. You are progressing slowly every day. Something I feel really helping me, is that my wingman challenged me by stopping a girl once a day (and i had to audio-record it and send to each other). That takes me out of the comfort zone, because I HAVE TO do the stuff,, I've always wanted to do, yet scared to do.  Maybe there are stuff in your life, where you are scared to do something.. but you know you will grow if you do it..  think of 1 thing, what comes in mind?..  and think of ideas where someone could hold you accountable. If anything, I will offer my help via whatsapp daily if wanted.

"Bring it on, I'm doing running from my shit.  Time to stop running and put my life in order.  Time to take back my life in all areas." Awesome attitude man!..  Just like myself hehe.
But hey, sometimes its easier said that done.. because when you are in that situation where your ego, your false self,  holds you back.. trying to stay in that comfort zone,, this is where it counts.... that is the time for action and switching the mind off. being courageous....  what is being courageous.. its when your heart is telling you to do something, but your mind is telling you all the risks what could go wrong,, however you act despite the fears and take the leap into uncertainty. ... which in all cases will show nothing bad came out of that, but growth.

will catch u later.. going out now my friend.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 22, 2015, 09:57:39 AM »
Thank you so much for the encouraging words man.. It means very much to me. Thank you so much for your support, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. This journey will be even better with words coming from an awesome guy like you.

You are right. I am a Man, and acting and behaving like one. No time for bullshit,, going for what I want. yea I'll think more "is she for me" and turning the tables. That will make a great shift I'm sure.

ill update the post soon again :)

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 22, 2015, 08:50:32 AM »
Everything is doing great here. Still no PMO, 38 days in.. thats pretty good.. and dont feel like watching it at all anymore.. My mind has made a huge shift when it comes to P its crazy... actually I dont think about P anymore. Sometimes I get aroused when with myself, but never to the point where I M.. I keep it inside  ;D... Workout doing good, I show up regularly and work out hard.

Regarding to the pickup,, I've made an agreement/challenge with my wingman. Approach 1 woman a day, voice-record it, and send to each other.
If we dont do it, we have to pay 10$. Its getting me out of my comfortzone for sure... some times I feel like not approaching, but I dont want to lose to the challenge, so I must do it. We are 3rd day in now.. so heading out later today to approach. I feel doing it this way, I will slowly but surely grow, and get away from the old-me.. the insecure me, which abused P daily and not being a Man.

As far as I can see, the women loves my approaches!.. some are available, some are not. Some conversations are totally uncalibrated, and some are much much better. My wing is awesome at giving constructive feedback.. and we are there for each other alot. So that helps alot.
Some times it is kind of "frightening" ,, thoughts like "what are others around me saying, when they see me approaching this woman, making her laugh and smile" ... but fuck it... they dont live my life. They dont care if I live or die.. so better to just approach.. so I can grow, learn and become better socially. 

I have a date saturday.. she is way over my league (career wise) but Ill try to knock her intelligence off by reversing it and be romantic and sexy :) .. Im not playing her game. But for the date, I definitely have to step up my game.. I havent dated for ages... But I'll just be me, thats all I can be.  If she is not into me, thats cool.. there are alot of cats out there. And if I dont find her my type, thats cool too.. we will probably have a good time anyways.. We had a great vibe when I stopped her 2 days ago.

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 17, 2015, 11:54:09 AM »
Dude you are at 22 days!! That is great!!
Keep it up man.. Your brain is being rewired to normality.
Remember now the mind will try to play tricks on u ... To fall in our disgusting habits.
Always chose No and you are stronger than to fall in.

No ur not 'fixed'... This is a life long journey. There is no milestone to hit and then it's over.
Just Keep up the good work man, ur doing great.. Especially with exercising.

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 16, 2015, 05:42:12 PM »
my friend this is a long life-time journey. Not a goal-end thing... but the journey has to start with small steps, small successes, small milestones to remind you that you are on the right path.

Im afraid by taking away your counter, you will be less excited of reaching those milestones. we need small victory's right now..
When the counter says, 30,60,90,180, etc.. we celebrate.. when it hits 365 and beyond.. we have engrained this so much in your new lifestyle,, that we wont need a counter anymore.
but my belief is its good to have a counter, as we are beginning this new journey. You need too keep an eye on your progress. I feel great when I see 32 days!.. I would fell less great if I didnt know how many days I were in.  I am sure when I get beyond 1 year, 2 years.. I wont even think about it. Its just how it is.  Just like I dont think about putting o

When a rocketship is  blasted off.. It needs a ton of energy to set it off.. It needs coordinations to get to space, and so it wont fall down. Also, it will probably be 90% off-coarse, but the systems will auto-correct the failures each time.. auto-correcting the ship to stay on-coarse.....  when it hits orbit.. it wont need the coordinates nor energy anymore. it just is.   :)

bro, get that book. make it a goal to read that book . I promise you that book is GOLD for your relationship. "The incredible Years" program/book should be mandatory for all parents (IMO).

yea man a 60day mark thing would be cool.. cant really think of anything though',,, it must be something that pulls us towards that thing.  We are both doing the stuff that we want to do.... hmm,, dont really know.
Is there a favorite food/dish you can abstrain from.. and then eat it when we hit the 60day mark? =) .. something like that perhaps. 

hi steve,
my suggestion is also; start an journal!..  it will help you much more than you will imagine.
I have not been where I am today, without the support of the people in here.

You are not alone.. we have all tried being in your situation. This reboot is not suppose to be easy.. so take on the journey head on!..

but please believe me,, im 30 days in or so, and I feel really really good!! much more than the 15years of P addiction combined.
I am sure you will get there as well!

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 16, 2015, 02:21:18 PM »
Thanks bro!..   yea the most important part was I fought my own fear.. It felt so great afterwards no matter the result. Jumping into fearfull situations,, uncertain of how things might turn out. (of coarse not stupid stuff hehe).. those are the moments I feel alive.

Today I have come to a realisation, that I no longer need P in my life. This feeling I get, its below my stomach and above my crotch.. a weird radio-active feeling haha.. its like its ON all the time. All day I lust for women.. I see women all around me and they can sense I am Hungry :)
This feeling beats everything!.. I'd rather have it like this, than jerk this masculine-feeling away in the drain.

Yes I have a very good feeling about a P-free year for 2015!..

I have my son this weekend, so just spending time with him and enjoying his company.

take care all!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 15, 2015, 11:04:25 AM »
Yessss mann!!!! Glad to have read that. Just getting 1% better reach day...
You are being consistent, placing the seeds for a awesome future. Keep up the good work!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 15, 2015, 07:18:58 AM »
you are a big inspiration as well!.. yes definetly the brothership in here makes it much easier to be strong, and not to fall back to stuff that did us no good.
what we are doing now, is doing us good!... thats why we are staying strong for each other .. and keep reminding us to stay on the path - even when there will be bumps on the road,, which there will be.

lets break our goal down a bit. what about this suggestion.. When we reach 60 days, lets celebrate by with something draws us.

its crazy how similar goals we have hahaa..  but its awesome you've put it down like that. What I'd recommend is put it on a card / print it out in a card format... and read all 7 posts as often you can daily.
why?.. because i know it works!!.. the problem is really = you will stop reading out the goals after some days.. then it wont work.
If you are down for it.. i'd like you to PM me every day for the next 30 days with this line :"ive read my goals".  I will be glad to assist you bro.

and when you read out your goals out why,, say it with passions and end with a WHY.   for example

"Today  I WILL run 15 minutes"... "Why?.. Because It makes me feel effing great afterwards.. Because I feel alive and " etc.  Putting a WHY can help you defining the reason why you are doing it.

but really,, i know the hard part is doing it. I have 4 pages of "Why I am doing this... " and i barely read out the stuff. I'd like if we could do some kind of accountability for each other on daily basis.
just a simple thing like reading out ones goals.. to start with.

for step 3. I can sense you are a great father for your daughter man... you want better for you and her. Awesome!.. Just wanted to praise you on that. This part can be really hard, but a good friendship between ones child is the best thing ever. My father has been the best ever in my life. I remember only 1 time he shouted at me, when i was 5yo.  I still remember that. ...  make your daughter remember you for the awesome and great father you are. I know you are trying the best you can.. and you are aware of your anger. that is good!..  One good thing i learned is > Ignore the negative stuff the children do and praise the good things you see they do.
I cant explain it all here.. but there is an amazing book for children parenting.. its actually mostly self-help because all of if is because of the behaivor of parents... the children are pure and just a sponge. They get everything from us.. you know all that my friend. But the book is; Carolyn Webster-Stratton "the incredible years"..  my goal is to read that book again.

Brother you have inspired me to make my goals as well.. thank you for this!..  I want put focus on being progress-oriented and not result-oriented.
for example,, one of my goals would be:   Approach a woman once every week.   Then ive set the bar low.. and everything above will just result in success for me :) ..

You motivate me as well!.. Thank you for being here for us all!..

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 14, 2015, 08:41:54 PM »
Shiaattt 30 days in and still going strong!! This is effing awesome :D ..
I shared the site with my very close friend, and I think he signed up as well hehe.

I took action today towards my fears... and it felt great!
Saw an woman I really liked, and was waiting for her to come out the shop.

My mind was trying to decieve me and tell me I wasnt good enough for her. She was too beutyful etc.... but then I started to lean into my body instead. I remembered that you cannot talk your mind  out of fear.. Your must involve your body . So I took some big-ass breaths whilst affirming that I could do it, and it would be easy...

and she came out,, walking towards me.. shit is about to happen.. but ever so confidently I went in front of her and took it from there. Mannn she was hott,, and the crazy thing was she LOVED it..
telling me she found me attractive as well, That I was bold and couragous for doing it.. and that other guys didnt have the balls be so direct and upfront. I told her that you have to go after what you want.. even if its uncertain and not knowing the outcome.

all in all its was a fantastic moment in my life. I took the bull head-on hahha..  faced my fears and did it anyway (there is a book called "feel the fear and do it anyway" btw). I felt Alive doing that.

Porn is still not an option. I signed up for 2015 pornfreeyear. I will win, there is no other option. I chose this new pathway. I will not be deceived by my brain to revert to old habits.
I am very aware that my mind will play tricks on my.. it will come. I am prepared....  Its welcome to try its luck.. I will find a solution to swipe the urges aside.

the rewards iI get by keeping this us.. is million times better than to give in to P..  not just 1 time!

cheers for a powerfull strong life all of you!.. I envision my counter to be 365days with no relapse.
I will make it happen!

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 14, 2015, 07:38:38 PM »
you are feeling adversity.. you are feeling life giving you tuff times.. you feel things arent working out etc.. This is exactly what its suppose to be like.. This is what makes you a Man!.. You dealed it as a Man IMO. You did not ease to the quick solution, you held in there and made some awesome decisions by trucking through it,, going home and putting on some music!! That step you made right there,, just made me believe in you even more!! You are facing the tough times, You are being couragios and deal with the uncertainty ..  keep doing what you are doing!

Awesome with the martial arts, gym and taking time to do your biz.. really good you are keeping yourself busy with the important things in our lifes. You are following you heart and doing the good things for you. Write in here when u do activities like that. Ill be the first to give u a biggup for that =)

In the previos post you wrote 'relapse is not an option'. Then in the post after you write "if I relapse then ill give 25 to ...  "   hmmmmmm ...  Relapse is not an option! period.

I will pay the 25 for you, and for me to that pink cross - WHEN we are 100% PMO free 1/1-2016. I give you my word on that. Ill send the paypal documentation in here. This is my commitment!

I feel you some times mention porn in a negative way "i hate porn, i want to support pink cross for all the bad things porn is doing us" etc.  Brother I know,,, I know for sure you have had a much harder time that I have. I can read that..  I am sorry to read all that, really.. But I need to focus you on our journey ahead. 

My suggestion is please try to look this at it in a positive way... if you focus too much on the negative, you will be lead into the path of relapse etc.   

Thats why I mentioned I will pay for us both, WHEN (not if) we are pmo-free.. this is a better way to think of it. Its more positive and the vision is much more rewarding. 
(( Sorry for my bad way to write in english, but im sure you understand what I mean. ))

I have been to 6months of special parenting coarse (for children with special needs).. and we learned that kids will most likely do if something is rewarding at the end.

If you setup a "bad things you did" chart.. they will be much more likely to focus on that, and actually do those things.

but instead, if focsing on the good things we want to achieve .. like "if you brush your teeth, you get 1 star.... ) whereas 6 stars give the child something rewarding.

This is a much better strategy!   (tested and proved :)  )) ... im sure you know it.

now sure if it makes sense,, but i am opposed to the "if i relapse then i give money to pink cross"  -- not that im against supporting them,, but you know what I mean. =)

dude, I have 100% faith in you..  we have been writing abit private as well, and we are on a battle side by side. soldiers in war.. compagnions. I am not leaving you if you fall, ill lift and carry you on.

Porn is not an option.. not in 2015, not ever.. dont EVER let your logic brain try to convince you back to old habits. Its OVER - you are creating a new path...  the path might not be there right now..  maybe we cant even see the path ahead of us..  its full of fog ahead and we can just see the small steps we take. But the small steps leads to a direction of a better road for us all. We are building a new road ...   a road to a better life.   and when we eventually get there,  we can look back at the road and say "Fuck yea.. I created that!!!.. was it tough.. Hell yes!!.. Did I deal with alot of messed up emotions? YES!" ... But at the end, this is what makes our life. This is what it is being alive. .... and its all worth it.

You wont relapse. That was an old part of you my friend. Ahead is LIFE.
I am commited to make this happen for both of us. Im so glad to share this journey with you.


Porn Addiction / Re: **PORNFREE 2015** (Sign Up NOW!)
« on: January 13, 2015, 06:59:53 PM »
Hey Gabe,
I'd like to be on the list as well. im 29days in so its all good!..

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 12, 2015, 06:43:34 PM »
20 days man.. just wanted to remind you =) you are doing great!  Its funny huh, we came here to resolve our PMO issues.. but it turns out this is just an side-effect of some other stuff that needs to be resolved.

You are going back to your home town because you want to settle things right and have peace within with some things. Your mind and spirit is telling that this is the right time to do so. Then its the perfect time.
I have a feeling you will come to some kind of acceptance of the past by going back to home town. Dont let negativity get to you by meeting negativ people you have known.. some people are just so negative that you shouldnt let them affect you. better to just accept their minds are like that, and you will not be affected.  You are on a path for a better YOU.

I am glad you are meditating and its doing you good. You inspired me to meditate today and MAN did it feel great. I put in ear-plugs in my ears as well > total silence.. wow.. just ME.. and my thoughts. Letting them pass by.. not judging my thoughts but letting them pass through. Meditation is a good tool for us I am sure of it. Lets keep each other in touch how the meditation is going.

btw, a really good thing that works for me when i begin meditation.. when I inhale through my nose, i let my mind go crazy on positive thoughts.. goes like this; inhale while thinking thoughts like: "I accept and love myselfe, I am becoming better every day, I accept my past and have chosen a better path" etc.. 
when i exhale, I let negative thoughts leave my system. It could be "Eating unhealthy is not a part of me any more, I choose a healthy lifestyle, I choose to be happy and smile to people on my path" etc..
after doing this exercise enough times, It seems like the minds goes blank and less thoughts are going through the mind while meditating. Its like the mind has processed alot of the information it needed.

.. you could try it. It gives a good head start for the meditation session. It does for me.

I want to start up the affirmations again. I read a book called "what to say when you talk to yourselfe".. a great book! ..
Ill let you know how that goes for me. It done great before,, but the thing is : if you dont keep at it EVERY DAY,, the mind goes back to old habits (80% negative thoughts :) .. and we dont even notice it.

yea man martial arts are great. Ive done 6years of martial arts as well. and the important thing you are doing is facing the times where your emotions are overwhelming you. You work through the feelings!..
This is a important step for you.. Im glad you are doing that. Keep us updated how that goes for you!.. Love to hear more about how you do it.. what thoughts go through your mind.

I have a difficulty sitting and working my mind like that. I guess I resolve more outwardly (taking action with stuff, gym, etc)... I would like to know how to work indwardly as well. I am doing the meditation, but thats not dealing with my thoughts. hmm.  And the affirmations thing, its basically reprogramming your mind to what you want more of in your life. its not problem-solving... I dont know man hehe =) just rambling here.
We are in on this together.. I am proud of you, ur doing great man. keep it up and look forward for ur next post.


Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 12, 2015, 06:14:08 PM »
hahahahaha.. ok ok i admit it - actually its vin diesel speaking ;-D ..  Vin diesel have life issues too hehe :D

today, going really good. I've been drinking 1l of juices (carrots and rootberr in a slow-juicer).. ive been to the gym, drinked my proteins.. went home and had some low-carb high protein food..
cleaned the house.. meditated (thanks for that ntg) worked out some more.. and now just checking reboot nation :) ..

the weather was too bad for going out ... but i think i am making excuses. Gotta meet with wingman tommorow and hit the streets.
Actually I am a bit nervous thinking of it. .. but when I get started, it usually goes good from there. 

ntg.. I think about what you are writing. that going out being social will leave me feeling alone. I feel that is what I need now.. I feel fulfilled when doing it.. taking the small risks each time. So I will try to keep it at that.
Yea that is it,,, I am facing my fears!.. and each time I do that,, and dont let my mind take over - but I take control and do the damn thing.. I feel hell good afterwards.

You are right. Some times I do think like this; "will I ever get a good woman.. someone I will adore, someone I want to marry, will I ever get married?, Will I be lonely, Will I be sitting home at 60 all alone... like my dad is.. " stuff like that. That are some things going through my mind. I keep reminding my self that I need to break the cycle some how... and the universe only bends for the action-takers.. so this is what I must do.
Taking Action.. facing my fears.

my fear right now are stopping women..  this is where i want to improve. I am doing awesome in other areas. So this my root-cause I believe, is to take more action towards talking to women. I know it will fulfill me.
Its not for the Sex of it.. Its just,, it makes me happy.. happy that I can break my old habits and face my fears. 

Anyways, I hope I can write a small progress for tomorrow after being out with my wing. If I can just get 1% better than I am today - ive succeeded. then > repeat.

Thank you for offering your support,, the words your write means much more than you can imagine. Yes I believe we are on similar pathway to becoming better men.

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 12, 2015, 05:56:43 PM »
fapfreezone.. thank you for sharing that info man!..  that is gold.

Yes workout definetly helps for sure!.. ive been doing hard pumps in the gym, as hard as i can go.. so my body is exhausted. I absolutely love it!..
and been doing some walking/running as well (after the hard pumps). first my goal was 10min of walk. now its 30min..

pd38 .. how is your situation with keeping healthy?.. do you workout?.. what kinds of foods do you eat?..  these are thing we rarely think about, but have a great effect in the long run.
can you do some kind of workout after job?..

Les Brown (motivational coach) talked about those cards as well. I never tried it.. I have my "why" list, but not looked at it daily. Very interesting .. I might try that as well.
thank you for sharing.

pd38 we are here for you.. you are not alone man. stick to the program and fight the urges!..
dont let anything get to you. If you feel low or something, come in here and steam it off by writing to us.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 12, 2015, 05:00:29 AM »
Hey... Read ur reply half through and broke to tears,, ughh,, Mann you touched a soft spot for sure.
I never saw it from that perspective. I have deep social issues I never worked out in my younger days, they still lie inside,, like I've never grower up in that perspective. Yet everything else I'm a boss at. My way of tackling this is just trying to go out and meet women, I will be better eventually - but something that could skyrocket this,,, Would be to do some soul searching. Sitting with my self and taking the hard questions head on... I've never really don't that. But yes, sometimes I am avoiding the root cause (going out in the real world).. And doing other stuff instead. I think it's time to stop the avoidance and facing my issues head on.

I've written a ton of affirmations, Recorded my self to hear adfirmations, I've written pages of "why I am doing this" and still I get unsure of my selfe. I haven't really accepted something inside of me, not sure what.. But I know I have issues being social with women, and it has been bothered me my whole life.  It's not just women but primarily. I guess the root cause for me is to be more of ME.. More outgoing, social and talkative to everyone. I've done it before.. So I can do it.

I think sitting down, doing some meditation whilst asking my selfe questions like why am I scared, why... . Man I don't know ,,, Ill try it. Your right I need to fix my inner issues as well.
. I think I need a daily session of meditation and soul searching. I'm sure it will help.

Thank you for your honesty and being unfiltered.. It really helps me the words you write.
I am so glad this made a shift in you. This will make me want to do it as well.

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 12, 2015, 04:33:20 AM »
Hey... Good thing you have the will power to say no.
No one said this would be easy... But hey, you don't want this to be easy...
It has to be hard and difficult.  Watching P is the easy way out, it's the quick fix and you don't want that in your life any more.  You are becoming a man more and more by saying no to quick fixes, and taking life head on instead... You are dealing with difficult stuff and that is making you better each day. Again,, awesome you said no to yourselfe man!! Proud of your decision!! You can do it!.. You will reach your goal I know it 100%. Don't let your mind trick you and let you relapse... Read other story's in here, they'd wish they never did it... I believe in you! In 27 days in or so and I'm about to burst also but this feeling of becoming more MAN is 100000 times better than just releasing the tension into the drain.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 11, 2015, 06:11:43 PM »
Yessirreee.. its actually really an awesome transformation!! :D
I will not let in to P or neither O. The next thing my D* will touch, is a girls P,, laying on my couch :D

I've had sex with two girls the last 3-4 months (tinder)... but after starting this reboot,, I have a great feeling I will enjoy sex and the touch, the smell, everything MUCH MUCH more!.. and not just D*ck in, come quickly and forget about her.    No no.. this time I have a feeling I will enjoy and be more thankfull of that punani haha

Yea man.. Now I feel much more passionate. Longing to give all of me to women..I feel much more Alive.. Much more a MAN. 

but hey, there are negative stuff also:   I GET URGES for that dopamine rush. but, when I get urges, I quickly re-focus and tell my self "NO!.. not going back to old habits"..
Some times I swich my mind to quickly take some heavy weights (while home) if urges come... and go at it till I can take anymore. Kill them muscles hehe.

it usually comes if I surf instagram / tinder girls / read pua blogs (they have pics of girls). But I can abstract.. I havent done anything so far. So why should I not continue doing that?..
actually there was a day I even considered paid sex (because I didnt want to M myselfe).. I just surfed an escort site for 20min or so, then just went out of it.
But then I realised,,, NAaaahhh ,, I want to stick to my commitment 100%... Dont want to mess up anything. >> I want this revamped energy to help me with getting women in 2015. <<

paying for sex is too easy. I dont want easy... I want it hard!!.. easy stuff is never sustainable. Doing the hard thing in your life makes you the Man.
This is not easy for me. I have never done a 'reboot' before.. This is my first time. But I've read many posts, and I can see how good people feel after doing this.

So I decided. I am doing this for me. and eventually helping others in here. I know I can.
I've have taken the plunge into the cold water.  There is no turning back now. I am facing some demons along the way (my mind playing tricks on me).. I will cope with the thoughts and gently push them aside and refocus. I am STRONG in my mind. and pushing the weights helps my body to be strong as well.

I feel awesome in my body.. I started eating my protein powders daily, take my vitamins, eat only brown rice/ wholeweat pasta etc. with chicken mostly..
I am becoming big in mucles and lowering fat..   yea man, so much happening :D

Thank you for ur msg :)

Ages 30-39 / Re: 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: January 11, 2015, 05:50:05 PM »
Hey ntg man,
first off; thank you for writing to me and supporting me. It got me curios to who you were, so I read all your posts..
your story touched me. you have been through alot for sure.

after reading some posts.. I could relate to many of the things you write about.
You inspire me to do good as well. You are 19 days in, and you are doing great!..

Keep up the good work man.. I get the craves for P and O some times as well.
Im 26days in or so, and its about to explode haha.. but whenever I feel like it, I quickly re-evalute ;  "Will an O help me in any way?"  answer will always be No!..

mann, our brain is so much trying to trick us.. its crazy. do no let in to it. It will try to decieve you.. You are stronger than that!..
I would like to support you in any way I can as well. I am usually a very positive guy, and I am sure we can help each other.

You are becoming to sense women is seeing you being hungry for them,, I begin to see same signs as well :D .. its awesome!..
I read that Patrick MO after 21 days.. (due to a raging boner hehe).. but he found out that he shouldnt have done it.  Lets learn from this and use this energy into something better; becoming a more charismatic persona.
You know you can become more Alive.. more of the person you want to become. It takes daily steps.  .. Never say "I wish.. I hope".. no no,, what we have is Now... Its in the Now we have to act.

Whatever you can do to get just 1% better in the now, do it.

I am glad you are enjoying your time with your daughter. I have a 7yo son as well.. times can be tuff with a divorce and a kid along.
But I have the feeling you are an outstanding father. You are becoming better day by day.

We all have difficulties in life in one way or the other. All we can do is get back up and try again.
But I can tell you one thing, I am counting on you not to have a relapse with this fake pixel shi*t.. seriosly,, You are better than that and I trust you,, we can reach our goals and make our lifestyles much better for the future.

if you have any urges ,please at least, try to come in reboot nation first and just write something. I know its easier said than done
- but hey.. dont forget you are doing great already!.. You are making small progress and success every day!..  Keep it up!! We are all here for you  :D


Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 11, 2015, 05:16:56 PM »
Ive noticed i've been obsessing over my d*ick the last 10 days as well... wanting to buy merchandise to enhance and enlarge etc.
But after read some posts..  I read that this is pretty common when rebooting.

Lyon03 wrote following : "build a better man, not a better boner. During my first 30 days, I too obsessed about my c*ck which was absurd because this was the wrong approach. My obsessions and self-centredness only fed my addiction. We must change our lives to be better people and the wood takes care of itself. Be well my brother. Porn is not an option"

Very very interesting...  After reading that,, I quit that obsession of my D*ick.. its perfect as is. What I need to fix is my social charisma.. everything else in my life is done-deal!..

I am father for a 7yo kid.. unfortunatly me and the mom never could work it out. But we are still friends today and our relationship is good. We see each other alot for the sake of our child.
I am a good rolemodel for my child... I am about to quit my job... I want to pursue something else in my life. Create an online-business.. and not work for others. I have to try it.

Even if my salary is good, a good job etc.. I am absolutely not furfilled there... Its a soul-sucking 6 hours being there.. absolut waste of precios time.
I'd rather do something I enjoy doing, and get paid less...  I want my child to learn this as well. Teach him business and not working for others.

2015 will be hard for me in terms of entrepreneurship, quitting a daytime job i've had for almost 6 years.. meeting and dating women which is also a bit frightening for me because i tried to make it work with ex last many years.

but f*ck it.. I can do it!.. 

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 11, 2015, 04:16:54 PM »
Thanks guys!..
I got home after a few interaction with some women.. its a hell cold and windy today, but I managed to do some supermarket and tank-station game.
but unfortunatly no results,,but that doesnt matter.. just approaching the two girls made my day.. then the girl working in tankstation as well.
I spoke with her for like 10-15min which is quite a record for me.. so that is success as well :D .. so ill keep it up. Will be at it again tomorrow.

my wing is down to go out Tuesday,, but ntg, good suggestion man.. got to be able to go alone as well.

I got my style handled as well, so I look like a Man with his shit tight! .. (blue navy blazer, black shirts, pants and shoes). I am shining and glowing with this clothes on.. My posture is alpha and got sticky eyes for girls :D .. shame there werent that many out today due to sucky weather. Im flirting with girls and I am becoming 1% better each time.
I hit the gym and went crazy today as well.. my body is being suped up so lots of good things happening for me.   

Not sure if its the no-fap / no-porn thing doing it.. but faack,, something is definitely happening for the better of it! :D .. Now, I just need the punani hahah.

I just arrived home,, started reading a post on 'good looking looser' and I some hot pics of women on the side,, my first thought was "shiat wanna see some P"..  but I caught that thought,, and jumped in here immediately to write this post. I am not jumping in that shit anymore!.. no P for me - I want to use my energy on something better instead.  But I catch myselfe wathing some fly honeys on Instagram these days.. I watch 20 or so pics.. then I shut it down. I get aroused.. but then I begin thinking "wtf am i doing... Im not getting any thing like this"..

but man, some times its hard approaching girls..     then again, what do I have to loose?.. nothing.. because I have no sex-life right now. 

anyways. dont want to mixup too much daygame in a reboot forum hehe =) .. sorry guys.
My reboot is doing great and I am sticking to it 100%... I am becoming more of a Man by not falling back to old bad habits. I am making new ones now..

NTG man, I dont like saying no to that kind of offers,, but my friend.. I think ive analyzed game so much i've gone crazy =D .. Now its just time for ACTION and learning off that.
I've seen too much footage, too many videos, ordered books..    A wingman has given me the best boost for sure.. so in 2015 i will go more out with him, and eventually go alone.
I want to adapt the lifestyle, so I will be cool with this on my own.  It just needs practice.

but if your wing is in denmark, id be interested =) .. anyways your welcome to pm me man :D and thank you btw.

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 10, 2015, 10:51:33 AM »
Dude you are doing and outstanding effort!!! Stop feeling bad and praise yourselfe.
You are doing what's required now.. Fuck giving in!! Fuck quitting!. You are so much more than watching pixels. Get angry at that shit that's trying to relapse.. Hell no!
Oh gotta go bro ,

Ages 30-39 / Re: Beginning of a powerfull strong life!
« on: January 08, 2015, 05:55:27 PM »
Hey NTG and people..
shiatt,, 24 days and not relapse or anything.. Im actually proud of myselfe.  =D
There has been very small mind thoughts like "just watch P for a sec".. but my mind caught it quickly and said "Helll NO!!" .. So the force is with me haha. I keep thinking of something I read here,, "your mind will play tricks on you.. trying to justify that you should do it just once etc".. So ive learned off that. I am actually beginning to believe that I can do this.. all year.. all, forever?.. :D ..

Now, I just need to work on my social game. That part is reeally hard.. but I gotta start some where. I have a wing-man, but havent met him that often.. So I better meet up with him next week to start day-gaming and getting some chicks phone-no. Its time to be a man!.. Time to Step up and say Fuck this shit.. Im 34yo with no sex-life.. I am handsome and have all of my stuff totally taken care of!.. I should share it with a woman,, I deserve a good woman. I have just not had the confidence.. (thinking lower of myselfe).. But I wasnt raised to be a pussy...  Its time to take action and mess it up, so I can learn and progress.

some times I just seem going back to old habits.. staying inside the house and finding stuff to do.. could be whatever, laundry, cleaning, computer, .. stuff that will not help my social game. Its like im avoiding it..
Its not cool, because when I am with friends I talk too much about it.. Im like "yea i am daygaming, and doing something about my situation".. but actually,, Im not..  not as much as I really want.
I am kind of scared I guess...  but the crazy thing is,, what am I scared of?.. I stopped 30-40 women last quarter, and 99% positive outcomes (either I got numbers / they smiled and said thank u so much / they had a bf but thanked me / they praised me for doing it / they said I had balls for doing it)...  out of all girls, just 1 said "no i dont have time go away".. and I began laughing because I thought that was funny.

so whats stopping me?.. hmm..  I think its was mainly because I was with my wing-man I could do it. I havent done any approaches when im out alone or with my usual friends.

I have to work my social game.. its a must. I need all the coaching I can get.. Actually I got a response from a guy as well. My ego is trying to hold me back from contacting him (because he is younger than me).. but fuck it.. I have to improve my game. All help is needed right now.  Anyways, ill keep you updated if anything happens with my girl-gaming.

Actually have a date from tinder tomorrow.. I hope all turns out good =) I can feel my testostorone is like crazy haha.. So I will be taking action and trying to kiss her / do something!.. I'd rather risk rejection haha.. what is there to loose?.. Im not getting anything now, so better to risk it all right!..

so, another thing.. one thing is that I can abstract from P.. but something I get aroused, and start touch myselfe on chest.. just to get a hard on and get aroused.. Its usually if I browse tinder girls, and I see a really hot one. I dont touch down there.. Havent O either in the 24 days as well.    Is it a bad thing?.. like, sometimes arousing myselfe.. ?..  I mean, when I do it my mindset is "shiit, this is why you need to take more action and get girls".. So I guess its ok hehehe =)

Actually Gabe gave me a good idea.. That helping others in here, would give me so much back... So I tried it, replied a post.. and I felt really good. I will be doing more of that! :)

Thank you all for your support - I deeply appreciate it.

Ages 30-39 / Re: My Journal...Very Unique Age 38 Experience
« on: January 05, 2015, 05:11:21 PM »
Yea there are probably many of us like that.. for the quick thrill'.. but what happens afterwards?.. regret and feeling sucky :/ .. and the feeling that it will stay like this forever.. NO!!   You and myselfe are making HUGEE progress.. if you can be just 1% better than you were yesterday man, thats awesome!.. Dont let the small exitement of some P let you loose your progress.
Think of your progress bar man haha.. you dont want to start it all over again.

I feel its good for me as well.. im 20 or so days in, lost count. Of coarse I get aroused watching at tinder girls,, but I have said to my selfe : "no matter what, im not going to watch any P".. If i see any beautiful (hot girls).. i flick away quickly and mind my business of that shit..  my D is going inside a real punani the next time haha.. so better to put off efforts there.

keep up the good work!

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