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Messages - timburr

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Ages 30-39 / Re: new guy to this. 9 days in.
« on: March 29, 2014, 11:50:28 PM »
soo true - you love the person you are with, but the f*ckin porn robs you of that.  You end up pushing them away because "its better online".   They then think they have an issue when in fact its us...

You can do it man, keep reading up on everyone else's stories - I know I can relate and its giving me the motivation I need to kick this thing.

Ages 30-39 / Getting my old self back
« on: March 29, 2014, 11:42:10 PM »

I'd say its been 10 years that I have been an internet porn addict.

Over the past years, I have noticed a true decline in my relationships with my partner, friends and family.  I used to be a master story teller, one who captivated a room with funny, intriguing and charismatic stories about my day or observations on life. 

In the past year or two, I noticed that I have started to become withdrawn - and its pissing me off.  The withdraw in not so much "against" going out in social circles or being around people, but my stories are much shorter, when I do tell stories I stutter and my self confidence is at an all time low.  I own a business and deal with people, I have seen turn over in the company and its gotten so bad that I think I creep people out.

I haven't been able to keep a regular fitness routine, and as such my body fat increased and continued to lower my self confidence. 

Just a week ago I sent myself an email, a message that said I am going to take a break from internet porn - just to see what happens.  I have equated my lack of self confidence to the internet porn that I was consuming.

Then tonight I caught Gabe's story on Global TV and discovered this forum.  Way to go Gabe - you da man- thank you for giving us this platform.

Today is day seven of my 'absence' - I have noticed headaches and even today - Saturday,  its been a long day, I didn't really do too much.  My motivation is low and my "zest for life" has dropped.

Tonight I have spent about four hours researching off this site and 'Your Brain on Porn' to learn more and read stories to the effects of internet porn and there is a lot of very true statements - it is addictive and it has such a negative effect on your brain and who you are as a person.  If you've read Scar Tissue - Anthony Keides's book from the Red Hot Chili Peppers - he talks about an ex-girlfriend he had who was addicted to internet porn and he equates it too crack cocaine.

He's right.

Why would someone want to fill their body with something so negative when there are so many positive experiences IN THE REAL WORLD.

I am stoked to report that I am on day seven and am committed to getting my old self back.

I know its not going to be easy and I know that there will be many opportunities to "jump off the wagon"...but I am happy to report that its been seven days on the wagon and will be sure to keep a journal here on how things are going.

I am excited to experience the results to the 60 day challenge I have put before me and even more excited in getting my old self back.

Again Gabe, thank you!

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