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Ages 20-29 / I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« on: August 02, 2019, 06:57:21 PM »
Hello my name is Arthur.
I am starting today because i am addicted to porn, and even more to masturbation.
It makes me sick and angry because this thing is evil but at the same time i like it. I love it from my bones. It is like a cognitive dissonance where you love doing a thing but you also hate doing that thing. This has to stop.
Can you guys relate to that ?
Today august 3 2019 i start.

I have already been on a 5 weeks nofap streak before i even knew about this "nofap" movement, but i relapsed not to porn but with imagination with a woman that i had seen that day (3 years ago).
Then in winter 2018-19 i started a 2 months streak after i found out about the nofap community and all the YouTube videos that helped me realize what i was missing in life because of fapping. But i relapsed due to lack of discipline and willpower to be aware of the danger.

I can't believe it takes me so long to implement new disciplines.

It will be a fight. The toughest fight in a man' s life. But if i don' t overcome, i might as well die (don' t worry this is not at all a suicidal warning but i am so angry that i see this as a fight to death).

But I LIKE FIGHTING !!! Men like fighting. Who likes fighting here ? Raise your hand. God bless you i see that hand.

My problem is not so much with porn than just with imagination with wimen. I think my problem is that i have a strong power of imagination to create scenarios in my head. Basically i am obsessed with sex (probably like most men i guess, but in the unhealthy way of fapping). But i watch porn too and this is not helping me.
And the fapping addiction i think is every bit as strong for me whether i watch porn or not. I mean my brain is so used to think about sex...

And i have done it for so long since i was 14 average once a day  :( that my brain is used to work at creating those fantasies, completely wired to do so.

I kinda know the traps because i fell in them ad relapsed many times. But this time i want it for good.
But i need to be ready to suffer. I think that is the key. You need to be ready to suffer in this reboot. Know that it will come and you must overcome.
The tidalwave of sadness and fap-needyness is coming.
Of course i have tips that help a lot, like gettin busy all the time but even so, only in ten minutes i can fap without porn so for me it is more a complete fight against my own brain.
The accountability will help. You will help a lot if you follow me and leave a short comment. Thank you in advance.
I want to recruit among you my fellow warriors a accountability Partner (or more) to comment on each other' s journal and help each other.

Thank you for reading. Please pray for me that i be able to overcome withdrawal suffering and temptation. Please Lord help me and bless my journey.
The Lord is the most important person in my life,  even though i am not worthy to walk with him because of that very addiction that i have.
This is what i m missing because of that : walking with God my redempter.

But hey guys ! I have experienced the benefits already !! Tremendous ! So i know it is more than worth it.
I didn' t want to leave with a negative thought of suffering because the benefits are so cool man ! So neat !

Thank you for being here.
God bless your own journey friend !


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