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Messages - Stevew

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51
Malik. I spoke to a phyosexual doctor here in the UK. You've likley conditioned yourdelf to dry masturbation. What you should try is conditioning yourself to masturbation with lube, preferably with some kind of vagina sex toy. Because guess what when it comes to penetrating it is not going to feel good for you if you are used to your dick being jacked off hard. If you masturbate with lube instead of the toy do it slowly.

52
I reached 3 months and had great erections... then i went on a dating website and spent ages flicking through girls i wanted to fuck. Little did i know doing that alone was me relapsing... and i got that taste of spiked dopamine and relapsed and binged for a week. Then my erections died.
Oh and with penis size... well I know erection hardness effects size. Perhaps not having frequent erections can temporarily reduce it. All i know is i reached 3 months and i was having solid erections.

53
A physco-sexual doctor (dunno just a name for someone that deals with sex related issues) told me that masturbating with your hand without lube will condition your penis to only be erect in dry environments. So i dunno if your masturbating try doing it with lube.

54
You should be taking wellbutrin. Which actually helps a bit with that sort of thing. It gives dopamine... i mean well im not a doctor maybe its not best for this addiction but it helped stablise my mood. Oh and I'm EXACTLY the same as you my ED is severe. I can watch porn and be flaccid unless I'm constantly touching my dick. And perm ED from SSRI is rare but while on it they do hinder your sexual function.

55
Porn Addiction / Re: relapsed on day 36
« on: May 12, 2017, 11:59:41 AM »
My concentration anc memory problems did improve. I mean the fact that you relapsing and going back to square one changed YOUR concentration proves that it does get better with abstaining from porn. I've tried reaching 90 days but have fallen short.
For concentration and memory ginko bioloba really helped me during my exams... it is herbal and has no negative effects.

56
Porn Addiction / Re: relapsed on day 36
« on: May 12, 2017, 10:41:46 AM »
Wow dude i relate to this 100%. One year ago I was around 2 months porn free during my exams... i was relaxed and things were going well and i had one exam left... i relapsed a few days before my final exam... and i literally couldn't revise or remember shit. The difference was huge.

57
Have you been porn free for over a year?

58
Not completely. Relapsing once does NOT take you back to square one, not even close. But weeks of bingeing... well i still had morning wood at the end but erections to touch alone were gone. I've tried going porn free since and then binged for months so... my progress of 90 days from over a year ago is gone. If you relapse on your 90 days in (even 2 weeks in).. DO NOT binge your progress is not diminished.

59
Those 3 months ended with me relapsing by going on dating sites looking for hook ups to go test drive my new dick. After that i binged for a week+. In the last year I haven't surpassed 30 days.

Well i think they were. My penis felt very hard instead of just being enlarged and somewhat firm... my head was fully expanded. Since that well... It was over a year ago but i dropped down to getting 70% to porn and 50% to thought with some MW coming and going. My random erections stopped. I was glad to have them back but god damn those things are scary to have in public.

60
Porn Addiction / Re: MO or not?
« on: May 11, 2017, 12:19:24 PM »
I hate to sound like a twat. But i could never wear a strap-on. For me personally (I wouldn't look down on other men who do it) that would make me feel like less of a man... I'd rather abstain from sex then have it with a soft dick while i use dildos to please a girl. I know that is a stupid mentality but for now... during this time of my life i could not do that.
''join a social club at Uni that includes women''
I will do that... with the 4 months i have left if i become almost asexual in terms of avoiding porn... my erections may come back... add 1/2 month or 1 month until i may be able to get a girlfriend that is 5ish months... It may take even longer which is no bad thing!
One and a half years ago i reached 3 months and i got my erections back to 100% (touch alone). I'm not sure how these things work though it may take me longer this time... but i'd like to think i won't be one of the cases where it takes 9+ months to get morning wood or something.

61
Oh shit lol. Yeah i do have weaker erections to porn. If it's softcore my penis is like semi... hardcore stuff it is erect but yeah not near full. God damn. For me i knew there was an issue when i was getting soft to porn... that's when i was like oh shit something is wrong.

My case sounds severe but weirdly enough a year ago i reached 90 days and i got my erections back (even random ones). Then again during that year even though i did binge for a week or less then try again i did go longer in abstinence. The last 6 months have been a month of porn and then 2-4 weeks.

62
I'm just wondering. I've never tried or come close to having some sort of sex encounter... but i do know that i get weak erections when MO to thought and weak erections even to porn.

63
Porn Addiction / Re: MO or not?
« on: May 10, 2017, 12:40:57 AM »
''I stay away from MO because for me it always leads to using porn. If you don mess up and MO just be aware that your cravingsbtnuse porn will likely increase because of this.''
And
''Continuing to fantasize about women you know is not helping you in any way''

Yep I think I've been digging myself a whole and probably subconsciously not wanting to give up that dopamine spike I'm addicted to. It's just whether i should go full out asexual or do what i said in the comment above...


64
Porn Addiction / Re: MO or not?
« on: May 10, 2017, 12:37:51 AM »
''it is making it harder to quit porn. for some people impossible to quit by checking tits and asses on the street every time.''
I'm glad i asked. Because every reboot I've filled the gap of no sexual release with checking out women way too much (probably in the same way I glanced through endless image of porn). I also kept thinking of making out with girls I've known in a somewhat sexual way as well a ton at night as i mentioned i think above.

Do i basically need to try and be Asexual for at least 3 months? One comment on that link i posted said ''Sounds like conditioning yourself to be asexual. Either end of the spectrum is not good but completely removing sexual thoughts is not realistic. Especially if your single, rebooting and are coming off porn.''
I suppose occasionally having brief moments of checking out a girl may be ok? But not obsessively looking for girls.


65
Porn Addiction / Re: MO or not?
« on: May 09, 2017, 05:29:13 PM »
@Nikola
I just saw a post of yours of which linked this:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/the-no-arousal-method-celibacy-of-body-and-mind.14525/

I really think this might be the way for me to beat this. At night i spend hours imaging myself dating girls... not having sex but making love etc (cringy as hell i know)... and when i go out i pretty much scope for breasts and ass... this is probably not only making my recovery slower but hindering it... and making me relapse. Like the guy said in that post... anything under 50 and over the legal age... I'm checking out.

Do you think me thinking of sexual stuff is making the whole thing harder or is it making it easier for me because I'm somewhat meeting my sexual needs (which is what I've been convincing myself?

66
Porn Addiction / Re: MO or not?
« on: May 09, 2017, 05:17:34 PM »
Nikola you are correct with that quote. The problems is if i get a girl and my dick fails... i couldn't bare that.. I'd have anxiety around sex forever. Finding a girl without a dating site is almost impossible if you are not at school. At uni (I'm going there in 4 months) it should be easy enough to get a girl (maybe not the on of my dreams but a decent one)... but again girls these days have sex within days or weeks of meeting a guy... women see sexual compatibility as very important and if you can't even get an erection... I guess i will have to find a christian girl or something.

I don't miss porn but i just find it difficult not having some kind of sexual release. I enjoy masturbating to real women i know in my head in the morning just as much as watching porn to be honest.

67
I relapsed at 100 days to dating websites... unless you are extremely strict with how you view images/profiles... you are digging yourself into a hole. Once you've got a girl had sex and continued that for 2-3 years maybe you will be at a stage where you can carefully use dating sites...

It sucks ass though because every relationship seems to start online these days.. especially amongst young adults.

68
Agree with this...
''2. You run the risk of conditioning yourself to needing Cialis or other Viagra-type drugs in order to get hard.''
You could overcome PIED and find yourself with a new issue. I don't know because I don't know fully how all drugs work...but watch out. Not going to lie i wouldn't mind trying one just to see my fully erect penis (makes me feel good/more confident... and eager to beat it PIED so i can use it).

69
My soft penis after about 2 months into a reboot regains it's larger flaccid size. Especially during a binge yeah i get that turtle flaccid dick thing.

70
Bro i have the same issue! While going through a binge... (providing I'm stimulating my penis a lot)... I get about 5.8-6 inches. My penis head is also deflated. 2 years ago but i reached 90 days and my penis erect was a solid 6.5 - 6.7 in length. My girth weirdly enough seems to still be at its normal size which is ranging from 5.5-5.75 (2 inches in width). Fully erect i think it is 5.8-6.0. I know how you feel... a lot of my confidence was based on the fact that i had decent length and a lot of girth... when you lose that... it's almost similar to a tall man going from 6'1 to 5'10... your new size isn't bad but your so used to being above average... being average sucks. Its like suddenly becoming ugly that would fuck with anyone mentally. I believe a lot of us base our self worth/self confidence on things we like about ourself... if you suddenly stopped being for example funny.. it would suck. Luckily i can guarantee it's porn/shitty erection quality that is causing it.

Reboot for at least 90 days and see if it doesn't change. Honestly erection problems in men under 30-40 is un-heard of excluding cases caused by porn/excessive masturbation. You may want to get your testosterone levels checked... it is highly unlikely but i think that is the only thing that can hinder erections outside of major penis accidents (aka damaging which would bend it).

To ADD... i went 30-40 days and noticed no difference. 2 years ago when i reached 90 days i only say erections changes around 60ish days.. of which by 90-100 days went to being 100%.

71
Porn Addiction / Re: MO or not?
« on: May 08, 2017, 06:01:59 PM »
The thing is i've got 4 months until uni... i really need to reach 90 days+ so I'm not an anti social depressed kid. Does everyone basically succeed just through abstaining completely for 90 days and then masturbating once a week or something?

72
Porn Addiction / Re: Sleep trouble early in recovery
« on: May 08, 2017, 11:19:02 AM »
Install flux on your pc... it is best to come off before going to sleep... but this will help a lot. It creates a yellow tint which you get used to btw don't worry... the issue with my sleep is trying to stay awake during the day... could sleeping midday fucks my sleep.

73
Porn Addiction / MO or not?
« on: May 08, 2017, 11:16:25 AM »
I've been trying to quit with 3 years. I reach 20-40 days and i relapse because eventually i need that sexual release. How can i beat this? What if one was to masturbate say once every 1-2 weeks?

74
Porn Addiction / Is the TV series 'skins' safe to watch?
« on: May 07, 2017, 05:15:53 PM »
I really enjoyed misfits and all these other young adult/teenager tv series. Skins is something I've never watched because when i found out about it i was trying to reboot (been at this for 3 years). The first season seems to have quite a lot of sex scenes. It's fine with occasional ones... i can resist but when there is 3-4 each episode (aka first few seasons of GOT)... it gets too much. For instance game of thrones post season 4 for me is ok... but 1-3 was riddled with sex scenes.

So disregarding season 1... or vol1 as it's called... which are safe? for those who have watched all the seasons.

75
Honestly when i get those homo thoughts... i just feel a lot of anxiety which my brain confuses me with being aroused.  Is that essentially what it is? When i say a lot of anxiety i mean a lot.

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