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Messages - Thabang

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Ages 20-29 / A week free after a long time
« on: September 14, 2016, 05:08:25 PM »
Today is my day 7 and I am very happy with my progress so far, I guess being busy with my academics has taught me or I can say distracted me from PMO and I feel very good about that now what concerns is the way I eat too much these days, I think I am developing food addiction because when I sit in front of my computer to watch something when taking a break from books I always want to eat something even if its just for fun and not for the necessity of eating. I am also concerned about my body weight which is the reason why I no longer approach girls because I don't think they will like me but recently I have recently developed some interest in some girl and she doesn't seem to be concerned about my weight and I think we get along well. Ever since we met (me and her) I have mostly forgot about my shame which is porn. I really want to beat this addiction because I hate it and I can't have happiness when I am still under it, It has been a long since I have felt genuine happiness and I have grown numb to good things little good things, sex is what is always on my mind and I want when I look at a girl to look at her properly and fall in love with their personality and not their body. It surely has been a long since I have gone 7 days without PMO and I am grateful of my progress and hope to continue with it. I have had many breakdowns and right I don't want to accept any,I cannot diassapoint her with this behaviour, I don't want her to feel disgusted by this. Few months since I have posted.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: April 07, 2016, 04:13:16 PM »
I think my addiction has taken over my emotions,I can't cry even if I want to, I easily get annoyed by the presence of people in my room and I'm always angry as if I'm heartless and it surprises me sometimes.  I no longer feel my sadness as I used to,the only thing I can feel is misery and being shameful.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: April 07, 2016, 04:05:46 PM »
damn!!!  as much as I hate relapses, I have no other choices but to come here and write and get advice from you guys. I think I am weak I have no commitment well that is what I have realised lately. I fail at everything I try doing ,well recently I wanted to lose weight but I stopped along the way because I thought I would see results soon but that didn't happen so I gave up. This attitude of mine also affects my recovery because everytime I am online I fall to being a victim of internet porn addiction and the reason I keep falling is because of being constantly being online and also categorizing myself with people who find it normal to PMO. I want to be offline for a while and see if this will work because on the social platforms there are many triggers that lead me to PMO. I have seen this pattern in my recovery,even though I keep telling myself that I'll overcome my addiction without being offline but I have realised that it is never going to workout. solidarity from most things is what I need right now and see if this will workout.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: April 02, 2016, 01:23:54 AM »
I got a problem following things like in a timetable but I will try and change my habits

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: April 01, 2016, 06:30:43 AM »
Eish it hasn't been easy  :-[ , there have been times where I felt like I should just give in into my addiction because I think that it has consumed me , I think I have no self control. I sometimes wish that I can go to a solitary confinement just for three months so that I can recover, with all these gadgets and being online just makes it difficult to focus on being clean because there are many triggers that leads me to my relapses and right now I just feel like I am blaming those things its just that I have no self control.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: March 07, 2016, 04:20:47 AM »
Thank you guys , Habablos that is such an inspiring video I am now going to focus in building my future . There is so much to do with the time that I waste sitting on my computer, step by step I will be free from this addiction .

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: March 02, 2016, 06:33:59 PM »
I have relapsed,I have been quiet because I am ashamed and couldn't control my cravings lately. I feel like my addiction is something I can't overcome and its slowly devouring me. Hablablos to be honest I have been lazy to read about that 16 habits on that link. my mind is messed up I have no idea what to do about my addiction.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: February 17, 2016, 10:00:22 AM »
I am making progress guys :) , since talking to you guys my cravings have decreased and I am feeling positive. with you guys on my side I am going to find new habits that are going to make me forget PMO.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: February 16, 2016, 08:57:26 AM »
Thank you guys I don't want to lie the thought of doing something beside sitting on a computer did come by but the problem is with starting to do something new, like a new activity I don't know where to start with that but Habablos thank you for the link I think it will help me a lot. It is so nice for your response guys especially coming from the people who are in the same journey, It is here where I feel freely to talk about my addiction. I really appreciate your support and suggestions.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: February 15, 2016, 07:05:04 AM »
Thank you very much for your words of encouragement :)

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: February 15, 2016, 03:33:42 AM »
Well at most times I watch movies and downloaded tv series on my pc

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Ages 20-29 / Re: I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: February 12, 2016, 05:15:37 PM »
thank you north I'll look in those books I am already feeling positive, its so good to learn from someone who is going through the same problem,at least I get it that I am not alone.

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Ages 20-29 / I always thought that I will stop and I am in control
« on: February 11, 2016, 05:41:07 PM »
I always that I will stop and I am in control, everytime when a new month start I just tell me myself that I'll start being clean with it but I always fail. I have never thought that I'll be addicted to pornography but I'm now deep in it and there is nothing that I have never tried in terms of trying to stop masturbating. I tried talking to people about it but its normal for other guys it doesn't bother them, I am a person who hardly dates because I think I have low self esteem and I'm not good at maintaining conversations with people so that's where I fail with connecting with people. Porn is starting to change the way I live myself I can't go a week without watching it or even two days since I started trying to quit it,I am suffering emotionally and psychologically pleasw help guys thank you in advance.

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