Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - Gabriel1960

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 18
1
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: August 09, 2017, 07:19:03 PM »
Having some trouble with the counter.

I have 43 days today.  Really pleased with my progress!

Love to all.

2
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: July 18, 2017, 09:23:00 PM »
I now have 21 days off PMO.
I visited my 92 year old excuse for a father (Jerry) about 21 days ago, and he was his usual upsetting, annoying self.  I got so upset, that I turned to sugar, and then to PMO, is calm down. It did calm me down. Now I have 21 days off sugar and PMO.
It's been suggested that I exclude Jerry from my life. I'm heading in that direction.
I need to make my mental and emotional health my supreme goal. Need to let them (Jerry and another relative) know that I need to remove myself from the situation to maintain my own sanity......for health reasons.

3
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: June 13, 2017, 08:01:13 AM »
I've used porn in the past to help smooth out my emotions. Now that I'm not using porn, I have to deal with these strong emotional outbursts. That's my new frontier.
My last emotional outburst was on 6/7/17. I'd like to get some abstinence together in that area.

4
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: June 05, 2017, 07:24:49 PM »
Porn - over a month.

Remaining off of the media sites. Find myself better at taking care of personal and financial tasks, as a result.

5
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: May 24, 2017, 07:03:19 PM »
Porn - over three weeks
YouTube - week and a half
Reddit.com - week and a half
PMO - over one year

Finding myself reading a lot more. That's awesome.

6
Ages 40 and up / Re: See them grow up
« on: May 14, 2017, 11:59:32 AM »
Great job on your progress!  You are truly blessed. 

Keep at it!  It's worth it!

Gabriel

7
Ages 40 and up / My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: May 14, 2017, 11:48:49 AM »
Ditto W-I-P.

Alcohol - Twenty years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - One year
Rage - three months
Porn - two weeks
YouTube - zero days
Reddit.com - zero days
PMO - over one year

My next frontier is abstaining from intense emotions and, separately, solo internet use (except for work or health related blogs, like this one). That includes news media sites. Woo-hoo! I'll return to them someday down the road, but for now, it's abstinence from strong emotions, and internet media abstinence, time.

This will *definitely* make my life fuller and more joyful, and less isolated!! Hooray!

8
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: May 07, 2017, 02:23:14 PM »
Alcohol - Twenty years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - One year
Rage - three months
Porn - a week, since April 30th
YouTube - a day
Reddit.com - zero days
PMO - over one year

I'm kind of free-falling with YouTube and Reddit, but I'm so pleased with being released from porn, that I'm not worrying about it.

9
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: May 05, 2017, 07:48:44 AM »
My focus is (what in AA they call) "emotional sobriety."

Porn for me is an emotional relapse, only 100% of the time. PMO, or no PMO.

Today my focus is emotional sobriety, which necessarily means living porn free.

10
Welcome to the forum. 

It's worth it.

Gabriel

11
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: May 03, 2017, 07:47:07 AM »
Alcohol - Twenty years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - One year
Rage - three months
Porn - two days
YouTube - two weeks
Reddit.com - zero days
PMO - over one year

I've been working my ass off on releasing this porn thing, and I'm getting pretty close.

This week I've come to terms with the reality that I've got an emotional attachment (call it an "addiction" if you will) to self disgust. I've come to learn to enjoy and even find comfort in the self disgust provided by porn. That's a surprise, and not a place where I want to be today. It's good to know this.

Secondly, I've listed many, many reasons to step away from porn, but the only one I can find that is sufficiently compelling for me to end porn use, is the emotional distress I always experience during and after using it. That, for me, is a compelling reason to quit. I might be stressed, or distressed, before choosing to use porn, but I'm *definitely* emotionally distressed during and after using it.

The porn-induced emotional distress is real, tangible, and even measureable. It's worth it for me to give up the emotional distress that porn always gives rise to.

Love to all.

12
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: April 24, 2017, 10:04:05 AM »
Taking the harm reduction approach now, which is working very well!

Alcohol - Twenty years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - One year
Rage - three months
Porn - two days
YouTube - two weeks
Reddit.com - zero days
PMO - one year

I need and want to be at the gym every day.  Easier said than done. 

Love to all.

13
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: March 28, 2017, 08:46:59 AM »
Alcohol - Nineteen years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - one year!!!
Rage - two weeks
Porn - a week
Reddit.com - a week
PMO - 13 months

Read my YBOP today.

Today my appetite for porn is a call for more exercise.


Love to all.

14
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: March 07, 2017, 01:03:39 PM »
A new focus of my porn recovery is finding new activities to at least replace what PMO used to provide me. The new activities need to at least provide me with exactly the same level of stimulus response that PMO used to provide, or better. These activities are out there. I just need to find them all.

I need to create a list. Wish me luck!

15
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: March 01, 2017, 09:14:49 AM »
It's great to know that I'm not alone.

16
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 27, 2017, 12:11:30 PM »
Worth it.

17
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 26, 2017, 08:36:33 AM »
Made it! Hooray!

Alcohol - Nineteen years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - Eleven months
Rage - two months
Porn - eleven days
YouTube - one day
Reddit.com - zero days
PMO - one year

Amazing!  Totally worth it.

Love to all.

18
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 22, 2017, 12:36:10 PM »
I need to turn to guided meditation, rather than reddit.com, to address stress.

Being informed is overrated.

Alcohol - Nineteen years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - Eleven months
Rage - two months
Porn - one week
YouTube - one day
Reddit.com - zero days
PMO - see below

Love to all.

19
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 17, 2017, 06:17:42 AM »
Yo.

20
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 15, 2017, 10:01:43 AM »
Yo.

This blog is helping tremendously. It continues to do so. Meditated and read YBOP this morning.

Alcohol - Nineteen years
Credit cards - nine years
Social media - five years
Gambling - one year
Sugar - ten months
Rage - two months
Porn - one day
YouTube - three days
Reddit - zero days
PMO - see below

Assuming I make it to one year, it will be a messy finish line. That's life.

My experience has been: early milestones are almost always messy.

Love to all.

21
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 03, 2017, 01:30:39 PM »
Yo.

22
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: February 01, 2017, 07:47:14 PM »
Need to go running tonight. Ugh! Don't want to. Know that it's good for me.

Did my morning meditation and read YBOP this morning.

Love to all.
 

23
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: January 31, 2017, 12:12:10 PM »
Have not been exercising since we brought home the dog last month. Made it to the gym today though!

Looking to get back in the saddle with my morning workouts. That's my new mountain to climb.

Also read YBOP today.

24
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: January 24, 2017, 07:07:48 AM »
Yo.

25
Ages 40 and up / Re: My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Autopilot
« on: January 12, 2017, 06:26:00 AM »
I must say that getting off sugar, which I embarked on as a result of effort to get off PMO, has had a profound effect on me. I'm experiencing some pretty profound life changing experiences, which trace back to my getting off PMO.

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 18