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Messages - freshstart@40

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1
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: December 09, 2016, 02:20:00 PM »
Hi All
Long time no speak.
As per my last post, please ignore the counters.
I have been on this site just over a year now and what a diffenence it has made to me.
I have now gone (a genuine) 3 months without pmo
My sex life is so much better, my emotions are more under control.
I am fitter more active etc etc.
Please stick with the program guys (and girls) it really does work
Be strong everyone

2
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: May 27, 2016, 12:09:26 PM »
Hi All
Well it really has been a while.
Please ignore all counters, I just haven't been on to update my journal.
Today marks 6 months since I joined this site and it has changed my life.
Over the last 6 months I have gone from being paranoid to being extremely prudish and everything in between.
It has certainly been a roller coaster of emotions.
I now feel so much more in control of myself and my life.
In all honesty I have watched porn during the last couple of months but they have been isolated incidents usually the morning after a heavy drinking session or after sex.
I can now see the triggers and avoid them, and the draw to porn is much less strong.
I have learnt the hard way that even though it can be really tough, by far the easiest time to say no to watching it is the first time. After you do it once the pull is stronger to watch more and more.
I have obviously Md a few times too and I now find that afterwards I usually get a couple of day flatline but then bounce back.
I rarely take my ED medicine any more and can achieve decent erections that last long enough for decent sex.
My Wife and I get on better, as I do with the kids.
Life is definitely good and I know it will be better the longer I stay off the porn
Be strong everyone


3
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: March 08, 2016, 10:30:14 AM »
Hi Guys
Just checking in to say I'm still alive and doing well.
Be strong everyone

4
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 26, 2016, 06:06:02 AM »
Well guys I hit the magic 90  :)
It has been a tough 3 months in many ways.
After my latest couple of MOs and feeling like shit afterwards for nearly watching P
I changed my counter.
I know they are not for everyone and I am not obsessed about it but I need a goal as complacency had set in a bit.
MW still good, a few random semis too which is new  :)
And libido and relationship with wife seem to be going well.
I would like a second counter if anyone knows how to do this I would be grateful for any help
Be strong everyone

5
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 23, 2016, 11:23:20 AM »
Ok so the brain fog has lifted enough for me to see this is not the end of the world.
I have set a new counter for M & O purely because of how lousy it makes me feel afterwards when I am not strong enough to leave it alone.
Does anyone know how I can get a second counter as I am actually proud that I am nearly 90 days without looking at P
Thanks in advance
Be strong

6
Hi thailer and offline
In my humble opinion, it doesn't hurt, but what can hurt is the high libido afterwards.
I have fallen down at least twice and MOd the day after sex
I think they call this the Chaser Effect
Be strong, you're doing great

7
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 23, 2016, 05:06:37 AM »
Well famous last words, had a shit evening and MO'd twice and for the first time I seriously thought about loading up some P.
MO'd once and then a few hours later actually typed in the address of a site into my address bar.
The ONLY thing that saved me and made me wake up to myself was that I had forgotten i had installed a blocker several weeks ago.
It wasn't enough to stop me MO'ing (without the P) one more time and now I feel like shit again.
Seriously all you guys doing hard mode and all you guys with triple figure counters, I don't know how you do it!
I just want to scream and curl up in a ball.
Why am I so weak
I can look back now and see it was a deadly combination of boredom loneliness (wife was working) and complacency
Thats 3 MOs in 3 days
Not good enough!
Might be time for a new counter methinks


8
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 22, 2016, 08:34:45 AM »
Had a bit of a wobble over the weekend
anxiety crept back in for a bit, libido had been high for a good while and sex was not on the cards, i felt i needed some relief so i MO'd.
Funnily enough libido still high even after.
This is the first time i have not beaten myself up after doing it so maybe it was the right thing?
Who knows
Anyway life goes on, feeling good again, still off the P and keeping MO to  a minimum seems to be working ok for me.
Be strong everyone

9
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 19, 2016, 04:54:00 AM »
Still enjoying life at the moment.
Possibly my longest streak without MO during this process
Haven't had a chance to test the old equipment in a while but all other signs are good
Anxiety still away
Libido back
Good erections

10
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 19, 2016, 04:48:45 AM »
Thank you supercomeback, keep up the good work!

11
Porn Addiction / Re: Artificial Thoughts Vs. Natural Thoughts.
« on: February 14, 2016, 05:28:05 AM »
Hi Kubrick
Funnily enough I never had any porn flashbacks, just my whole natural sexual history seemed to pass through my head at some point.
I like to think it was either my body trying to purge all sexual thoughts from my brain, or it was reminding me of how good sex was and could be again.
For me, one night I lay in bed and it seemed like every sexual encounter i had ever had raced through my mind one after the other.
After that night I have had very few sexual thoughts but I do try to block them out.

12
Ages 40 and up / Re: Hi Everybody
« on: February 13, 2016, 10:13:59 AM »
Welcome Dengar
You can do this.
It sounds like you have something to aim for, having kids, so
Never trade what you want the most for what you want in the moment
Be strong

13
Ages 40 and up / Re: viagra and PIED
« on: February 13, 2016, 05:39:10 AM »
Just thought I would let you know, last 2 times i have had sex with my wife, i have halved my viagra dose and my erections have been better than they used to be on a full dose before i rebooted

14
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 13, 2016, 05:32:22 AM »
Morning All
Another boring report, in fact I'll just copy and paste.
Anxiety still away
Libido back
Good erections
Enjoying this little smooth bit
Just touching base to let you all know I am still alive
Be strong

15
90 days sounded daunting at the start to me so i set  a target of 60 days.
I'm now nearing 80 days, and believe me while it is not easy and you cant let your guard down for a minute, the length of time seems irrelevant after a while as the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.
Your lifestyle will change gradually, you will lose the desire for porn (my first successful sex with my wife was enough to convince me) and you will begin to feel like a better person.
Be strong, it takes as long as takes, but it does work

16
Porn Addiction / Re: Anxiety
« on: February 13, 2016, 05:02:29 AM »
I sympathise keith
try to think of the anxiety as a positive thing as it shows youre healing
Be strong

17
Ages 40 and up / Re: 48 years old and tired of PIED
« on: February 13, 2016, 04:48:25 AM »
Be strong evinced, there is light at the end

18
Ages 30-39 / Re: Time to Quit
« on: February 13, 2016, 04:45:32 AM »
Sometimes the withdrawl symptoms can suck, but ironically i found some of them quite comforting because i knew i was recovering.
When my anxiety went away, i started to worry that i wasn't recovering anymore  ::)

19
Ages 40 and up / Re: Yes I Can!
« on: February 13, 2016, 04:40:45 AM »
Belated congratulations on 100 days bob
You're an inspiration
Be strong

20
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 10, 2016, 02:27:36 AM »
Hi Guys
Anxiety still away
Libido back
Good erections
Enjoying this little smooth bit
Be strong

21
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 08, 2016, 11:47:15 AM »
Feeling good today Nothing to report, anxiety has ceased, at least for a day.

22
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 07, 2016, 10:14:50 AM »
I've not quite figured out what it is with me, but I think it's because I'm still super horny for a while after I've had sex but if my wife is not around then i'm not strong enough to say NO to MO

23
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 07, 2016, 08:33:49 AM »
Man it's tough isn't it!
Be strong TWW and thanks for your comments

24
Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: February 07, 2016, 06:37:50 AM »
Morning All
I have enjoyed spending the morning catching up on a lot of journals, and it is great to see so much activity especially in our age bracket.
I am at 10 weeks now and after feeling like sh*t for a couple of days I feel a lot better again.
It's this dam chaser that keeps getting me!
As I put in my previous post me and the wife were romantic on tuesday night and things were good if a little quick (can't have everything right)
Wednesday night she is working, I'm feeling horny all day so before you know it I've MOd twice and almost immediately feel like shit.
No porn, but I just wish I had had better willpower.
Thursday still feel like shit,
Friday feeling a lot better
Saturday better still and we had more sex.
This time it was ok, but a bit more like it used to be, although i did eventually get hard and lasted a bit longer.
I would say this is the first time i have had sex since rebooting where i haven't had a supercharged libido beforehand.
All in all I would say my 2 MOs have set me back a bit, but maybe not as much as i first thought.
I just need to do something so that i don't cave in to the chaser as this seems to be my biggest downfall.
I know technically MO is "allowed" but it is not something I want to do.
I want all my O to be with my wife
Be strong everyone

25
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: ED UPDATE
« on: February 07, 2016, 05:27:14 AM »
you're on the right track KR, your progress sounds similar to mine
keep it up :P

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