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Messages - kopp

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1
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: Today at 02:25:06 AM »
I went out for a walk with my girlfriend and I felt so much energy that we decided to go back home, change, come back for a run.

There's a 1.36km (0.84 miles) "circuit" (road) near us and we've been running through it a lot during quarantine. But I had to stop. After hitting a record, I started feeling hurt and I couldn't run as fast as before. I was sad to run slower and slower. I tried beating my record twice and failed twice by a lot. I stopped running.

This morning I beat my record by... 20 seconds. It's huge. I was running so fast, I was a freaking rocket. I'm a champion guys. You are champions

2
Success Stories / Re: Thank you
« on: Today at 01:07:33 AM »
Congratulations and thanks for the tips !

3
I relapsed more often due to boredom during quarantine. My internet addiction got wilder. Otherwise it had so many positive effects on me. I have the luxury to be quarantined with my girlfriend and her parents in their house, near nature.

It cured my girlfriend's depression. She's so lovely now. Quarantine has been a huge boost for our couple. So no it's not something awful for ALL couples. :P

I worked out like crazy. There's just nothing else to do for me here. We went running often, we work out almost everyday, we bike sometimes., we're outside everyday.. I took 3kg (6.6lbs) of mostly muscle mass.

5
I had severe PIED and I'm cured, I get hard every time I have sex, I'm all fine now :) Keep going man! Inspiring story!

6
Welcome  ;D

7
Porn Addiction / Re: Single porn addict
« on: Today at 12:53:43 AM »
I use ColdTurkey on my computer and Blocksite on my android phone to block website. Very good combination. I not only block porn sites, I also block every site that I spend or spent too much time on (reddit, twitter, youtube...)

Also: I didn't have a girlfriend before I had a girlfriend. Being single is fine.
I recommend reading "Models" by Mark Manson, it's the best book to learn about seduction.

Get your porn habit under control, nofap will make your social anxiety disappear, become a seducing man and start approaching women and you won't be single for long :)

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: Today at 12:26:02 AM »
Thank you :)

I woke early and this time I didn't even feel like staying in bed. No more brain fog, no more laziness.
I have a huge energy this morning. I wrote a page on paper, made my small neck + shoulders workout. I'll meditate and stretch and take a cold shower.

I feel much much better.
I don't feel like watching entertaining shit, I WANT to work. I feel a burning desire to do productive things.

I had sex without orgasm last night (my girlfriend had an orgasm, I didn't. I like it this way).

I feel like a beast, I have so much energy, I'm so powerful!

9
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: Today at 12:15:57 AM »
Congratulations on meeting the girl, that's impressive!

10
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 28, 2020, 12:38:47 PM »
The 5 minutes cold shower (cold only!) was a huge boost to my energy. It was incredible.
I spent more time on the computer than I was supposed to and stayed on the couch far too long because my desk was taken.

The good parts: I had a very good chest and biceps workout, I was focused on working for 2 hours straight this morning, which is something I was struggling with lately! I'm making progress. :)

An excellent definition of addiction, by Gary Wilson and shared here by DoneAtLast : continued use despite negative consequences.
I kept staying on the computer watching entertaining and useless stuff despite knowing it's not good and hurting my back and my head. I have a severe internet addiction.

Stay strong brothers

11
Hey Rob,
Your story is typical for guys your age. Porn came later into your life, it was less hardcore than it is nowadays, harder to get, there was no high speed internet... Internet really made it worse for us.
I started at 13, some here started at 8 or 9. I check most of the boxes but it's gotten much better with time.
During my worst period yes my tastes escalated in awful and disgusting things and I felt really bad afterwards. Nowadays after a relapse I get brain fog, a little social anxiety but nowhere near like it was in the past and I relapse to much more "normal" stuff (pictures of girls in lingerie) so I don't feel that bad anymore.

The younger you start at the more it fucks with your brain and the longer it takes to reboot.
So no you don't have to check all boxes to be addicted and the fact that you watch porn most days and that your sex life got destroyed means that yes it would be good for you to take action. :)


Welcome here! Tell me if you open a journal, I'll follow it!

12
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 28, 2020, 02:08:04 AM »
@Jeks I agree 100%! Porn addiction IS an internet addiction! It's all linked to too much dopamine obtained too easily! Porn makes it even worse by linking it to orgasm.

So new decision according to what I read and posted yesterday: I won't spend more than an hour in the couch.

Today it makes 49 hours without relapse. I had little urges this morning.
I again woke up as soon as the alarm rung. I asked myself "Are you a man?" and woke up despite my desire to stay and a little headache.

I started the computer at 8, not 9. Still, it's a progress. I turned it off at 5.30 yesterday, I just checked my phone a bit after my workout.
Also, after waking up I: wrote my thoughts on paper, meditated for 20 minutes, stretched, made 5 minutes workout for shoulders and neck, made a breathing exercise, made a pelvis exercise (in order to learn to control my ejaculation during sex)
Once I'm done writing here I'll go for a 5 minutes cold shower (only cold water!).

The negative point is: I don't know what to do after that. I still feel unmotivated to work / to do anything difficult. I don't have much brain fog anymore but I still have very little willpower. Focusing is hard, I often switch between tabs, open new ones...

Yesterday I went biking with my girlfriend then we had an excellent legs workout. I'm getting stronger and stronger everyday. My body is much better now than it was 2 months ago.

It's been almost an hour that I'm reading and writing on the couch. Time to take a cold shower. :) Stay strong brothers!

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 27, 2020, 07:51:52 AM »
@johnjordan you're right! I've also built a good workout routine thanks to the power of habits (working out everyday, even if it's only for 2 minutes).

How do you celebrate? That's something I struggle with.
For today I'll focus on closing the computer at 5.30. I'll also avoid Reboot Nation until tomorrow!
Tomorrow I won't start it before 9am.

Quote from Seek not to be entertained - MrMoneyMustache.com :

I can definitely relate to the desire for activity. I’m incapable of spending more than an hour on the couch or sitting at the beach. During vacations, I have to find physical work projects to keep myself happily occupied. I’ve discovered that even one day of zero productivity is bad for me: if I stop doing things, I stop wanting to do things, and pretty soon I’m just lazing around on the couch or taking 11 am naps. For me, inactivity leads to a depressive boredom.

It doesn’t matter what you enjoy. It matters what’s good for you.

So if your life needs a boost, try giving up something you enjoy, and replacing it with something that improves your life.


Now that I did almost nothing for 2 days in a row I don't even feel like doing stuff anymore. "Depressive boredom" is the thing. I'll go outside for a walk.

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: Pushing back!
« on: May 27, 2020, 03:21:18 AM »
No idea, did they contain something weird? A forbidden link? The forum looks to be working for me

15
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 27, 2020, 03:20:14 AM »
According to TheUnderdog, the founder of yourbrainrebalanced.com, a forum similar to RebootNation, there are 3 fatal mistakes porn addicts often do:

- Using porn to stop feeling bad. You must accept feeling bad, go through it. Process the emotion and find a healthy way to feel better. Do not run away from reality.
- Being hard on yourself every time you relapse. Not everything revolves around your streak. If you go from porn everyday to porn twice a month, you're already successful. You made huge progress, you're doing good.
- Focusing too much on not watching porn. If you're thinking about not watching porn, you're thinking about porn. As long as porn is in your mind, you will have a lot of trouble letting it go.

As he says:
Quote from: TheUnderdog
Just forget about porn. Disregard it as an option in your life.

Focus your mind on the stuff that matters. Your family, your dreams, your health, your career.

When urges arise, watch them mindfully. Observe them. Do not react. Do not suppress them. Do not push them away.

Just kindly smile and focus your mind on something else.

Watching porn is not an option. It's not a part of your life anymore.

He also suggests 3 methods to quit your internet addiction:

- Cold Turkey: Just don't turn your computer at all. No more than 5 minutes of using your computer per day.
- Seeing the computer as a tool for working and nothing else: Use it for work only. Any form of online entertainment is not allowed.
- Only before X:XX and after X:XX

I've had success in the past with the Cold Turkey approach. My computer was too old to be usable so it was simple to not use it. I now have a modern, light and fast laptop. And I still need to use it from times to times at least. The ideal for the next days would be to use it 3-4 hours per day learning things that I'll soon need in my new job.
So here comes method two. I'd like to see it as a tool for working and almost nothing else.
Method three also has helped me in the past but is not enough those last days.

So here are my new commitments:
- I'll process my negative emotions instead of watching porn to forget them,
- I'll use my computer only after 9am and before 5.30pm,
- my computer is a tool for work, I won't use it for entertainment anymore


I also use my phone for less than 30 minutes a day. I made a habit out of this. I even use it on grayscale mode.
I just turned my computer to grayscale mode.

One question to ask myself when I'm on the computer: Am I productive or am I distracting myself?

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Pushing back!
« on: May 27, 2020, 02:40:31 AM »
You're stronger than that brother. Block those websites! (ColdTurkey on computers, Blocksite app on phone)

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: Hi New Relationships: new attempt
« on: May 27, 2020, 02:04:10 AM »
The time before falling asleep is a dangerous time indeed.
You are right, avoiding screens in the evening helps a lot. :) What also works for me is working out. You spend your energy working out and then falling asleep is easy.

Quote
I feel good, and I want to talk to you about the pressure of the social environment on relationships. It bothers me that my friends ask me if I have been with a girl. My family also sometimes asks me why I don't have a girlfriend and I don't feel the courage to tell them what my problem is.
I have to find a way not to be asked any more since I don't feel good about it.

You know it's ok not to have a girlfriend. I know this question is embarrassing but it comes from a positive intention, the people you love really want you to find love and avoid loneliness. So I would not seek a way to avoid the question.
I would assume and say something like "you know, I'm a bit shy, I'll find a girlfriend someday but I don't really know how to do it for now".
Being comfortable talking about this is a first step towards finding a girlfriend. The reality is that your friends don't know much more than you about women.

This is a blog post I love : https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/07/10/to-achieve-greatness-you-must-first-acknowledge-that-you-suck/
It's written by a guy that speaks mainly about financial independence and how to spend less and live a better life, but the tagline is true for everything. Be comfortable with the idea that you aren't good in a particular domain, so you can improve in it.

If it helps, I really was bad with girls and socially awkward for a looooong time of my life :) And then I improved in this area, made friends, got girlfriends... I now have a loving girlfriend since 4 years. This really is something you can improve just like you can learn to cook or to dance or to program computers.

Keep us updated! :)

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 27, 2020, 01:45:46 AM »
Hey John, thank you for your positive energy :)

So it's been 24 hours since my last relapse. I had a headache this morning, I felt very sad. But I woke early.
The day before I stayed in bed, this morning I got up as soon as the alarm rung. That was a good start. The alarm rung, I felt like turning it off and going to sleep and I asked myself "Are you a man or not? Are you a man?" and then woke up.
I spent time writing. I usually write a few lines every morning. Today I wrote two pages. I started by writing how I felt, which was pretty negative but it allowed me to get rid of all those negative thoughts. I then spent almost a whole page writing why I was someone seductive and attractive. The more I do this the more I believe it and the more it becomes true.

I had a very good back, triceps and shoulders workout yesterday. Everyday I look more and more muscular and athletic. I highly recommend working out to every nofap brother. :)

I'm starting my new job in 6 days. I feel OK with that. I want to avoid relapsing so I have a lot of energy and no brain fog on my first day.

I'll repeat something really important that I already wrote here: Internet changes our brains.
Thus, not using internet changes our brains back to a better, clearer state.
Internet is something you have to use sparingly, only in order to achieve a goal.

With a heavy internet usage, the neural circuits devoted to thinking deeply, with sustained concentration are weakening or eroding.
This is something I have to work on. I've struggled on focusing lately. I've had too much free time to fill with dumb shit. I want to be able to focus for long hours everyday again.

I'll probably write some more here today, it helps so much :)

19
Success Stories / Re: 700 days of hardmode.
« on: May 26, 2020, 06:01:09 AM »
More sex has led me to better erections (but also more orgasms and orgasms lead to cravings to masturbate)

I'd keep trying having sex, it'll get better :)

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: May 26, 2020, 02:51:04 AM »
You're doing great man :)

21
Women / Re: Its a process...I guess.
« on: May 26, 2020, 02:30:58 AM »
You're such a wonderful human being

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 26, 2020, 02:01:05 AM »
It's been 8 months. I've been struggling with nofap recently.
I've never came close to my 140 days streak. Recently I'm struggling to even go to 5 days.

I had no job for a month and a half, I have too much free time.
My triggers are always the same : boredom, fucking up my sleep pattern, feeling lonely, being doubtful about my masculinity because of the absence of relationship with girls.

I also realized that a lot of sex with my girlfriends makes me crave sex even more and so I want to fap...

I've been with my girlfriend for close to 4 years. It's a wonderful relationship.
My career became crazy, I'm at the top of the Game, I keep making progress and getting paid better.

I've worked out 69 days of the last 78. I took +3kg (6.6lbs), mostly muscle. I got bigger arms, a wider back, a better posture. I got a haircut, I'm handsome.
I've been meditating 74 days of the last 78. Writing every morning.
I've been investing money, keeping my spending low.

I block social networks on my computer, I just installed an app to block websites on my phone also. I blocked the websites that I relapsed to recently.

I'm starting a new job in a week.
I'll workout even more, plan my days better, invest more. Spend more time with my girlfriends, make sure my friends are happy.

I'M A BEAST!

23
Success Stories / Re: Need Motivation? Hear Me Out! Short and Sweet
« on: May 26, 2020, 01:41:06 AM »
Gabe you're the man, the MVP. Thanks for all you did and do :)

24
Porn Addiction / Re: Relapsed in a strange, shameful way
« on: May 26, 2020, 01:37:27 AM »
8 months later I relapsed in the same way. Same app, same shameful story.
I just installed "Blocksite app" on my phone to block the website and also all other porn websites.

@DoneAtLast : thank you for all this stuff! I realize I have very few triggers remaining and they are: fucking up with my sleep patterns (going to bed later, waking up later and in a dizzy state) and feeling bad because of lack of contact and intimacy with girls.
I still have this insecurity. I lack emotional connection with girl friends I guess...

25
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: September 27, 2019, 03:05:56 AM »
I edged this morning.

It almost always have the same causes:
I went to bed later than usual yesterday, I woke up later, feeling lost and I started using my computer 1 hour and half earlier than usual. (I have a rule of not starting screens before 9, this morning I opened my laptop at 7.30).

I stopped but now my brain is foggy, I'm lazy/lost.

I'll take a cold shower then go to the library to work :)

I want to be serious about NoFap hardmode so even if I didn't O'ed I'll count this as a relapse. So today is day 0.


I'm glad my journal is inspiring you!

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