Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - AgnitioSano

Pages: [1]
1
Keep strong my brother, this too shall pass one day.  I know empty days are the hardest for me too, its so tempting when your bored and it gets harder to ignore your triggers.  Congratulations on making it past two weeks by the way, thats awesome.  I will be praying for you, we are all in this together.

2
Ages 20-29 / One day
« on: November 24, 2015, 03:33:10 PM »
24 hours and some change and the urges are already back and strong as always.  I did the right thing this time, locked down my phone so hard I cant even do a factory reset to get out of the security on it.  I had to build an exception for this website cause its adult oriented, thats how strict my new settings are.  I cant look at any of my normal triggers, I cant look up anything even close to P or P subs.  Its inconvenient in someways but it will be worth it when I kick this habit.  I put some 26ish random numbers and letters into the password so there was no way to memorize it and then I threw away the password.  Its kinda sad that I know I cant be trusted but it feels good to be honest with myself about it

3
Ages 20-29 / Re: I have a problem with porn.
« on: November 23, 2015, 01:00:42 PM »
I havent even been trying to fight this for the last two weeks.  Its time I tried again, I am just to sick of this cycle but its so easy to give in and so hard to change.  I reset my counter again for what I hope will be my last reset.

4
Ages 20-29 / New day 1
« on: November 10, 2015, 12:51:47 PM »
I made it one week and screwed it up.  Time to start over.  I didnt install the blocks I should have but this time I will.  I hate this so much cause the second I was done I not only regretted it but it didnt satisfy the urge at all.  Time to stand up and try again.  Today is my new day one

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: I have a problem with porn.
« on: November 09, 2015, 02:29:23 PM »
Sick day today.  Found out I get irritable when I'm sick and my go to when I'm irritable is of course PMO so its a struggle today. I am gonna take some meds and try and sleep it off.  Its just one more way I was dependant on P for my happiness instead of depending on God, my wife or my family and friends.

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: My (hopeful) journey to Freedom
« on: November 08, 2015, 05:42:22 PM »
Welcome my brother, today may have not been your best day but every hour after you made the discision to quit is one hour closer to the goal.  It will be one day at a time, but we are all in this fight together.  I'll be praying for you.

7
Ages 20-29 / Day 6
« on: November 08, 2015, 05:32:24 PM »
Posting a little later then normal today, busy day with church and homework.  5 days without P or M, might not be my longest streak but its up there.   The urges get easier to get past each day.  Hold on to your hope gentlemen, there is a way out of the clutches of this beast. 

8
Way to stay strong my brother,  I havent been going without for very long but I know the first couple of days were the hardest so far.  My cravings were stupid bad the first few days.  Its okay though, we are all in this together.  The most important thing is that you stand back up each time you fall.  We are all in this together, dont for get that. I will be praying for you.

9
Ages 20-29 / Day 5
« on: November 07, 2015, 02:52:04 PM »
96 hours, I will have to start posting in days instead of hours tomorrow.  It feels good to be making it this far without relapsing.  Kept busy so far today with errands and shopping.  Unfortunately I spent the money I was holding aside for my reward at 14 days,  its okay though, I'll find a cheaper reward for 14 days and save up again to get the other one at 30 days.  Baby steps.  Just like a war is won a battle at a time and a battle is won a yard at a time, so goes our war.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, even sometimes minutes and seconds at a time.  Isnt it funny how when we are feeling tempted time feels like it drags on forever but the easy times seem to be gone before we can remember them.  Hold on to your wins brothers and forgive yourself for your loses and we will fight this war one step at a time.  I will be praying for all of you.

10
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 07, 2015, 11:22:04 AM »
Staying occupied is one of my biggest problems too.  Video games help unless they have attrative girls in them, then I just want to go watch porn.  I have a big family so they keep me busy but they dont know the battle I fight with porn.  I wish I could be honest with them, but I dont want the shame and disapproval.  I can imagine that living by yourself makes it a lot harder, when we feel alone we are most likely to reach for the safety blanket of porn.  Stay strong my brother, I will be praying for you.  Let me know if you need an accountability partner, we are all here to help you.  Remember this is a battle and we are all bretheren soldiers.

11
Ages 20-29 / Day 4
« on: November 06, 2015, 01:50:10 PM »
72 hours with out PMO, slowly making it through one hour at a time.  The craving is so strong when I am bored that I am trying to come up with extra stuff just to stay busy.  My brain just keeps telling me that its okay to relapse and that one last time wont hurt and I have to keep telling it to shut its stupid mouth.  I am looking forward to the weekend, I for once do not have any plans but to spend time with my wife and kids.  The cravings suck still, and I have been needing more tylenol to chase my headaches away.  I never would have thought I would get headaches from not watching P but there are a lot of things I didnt think would be possible about this whole thing. 

Its kinda weird, I didnt ever think I had addiction problems.  I picked up smoking in high school but was able to cold turkey it no problem for a year or two before picking it up again by choice.  I did the same with alcohol, I randomly pick them up and put them down cold turkey no problem.  But P, I would go hunting for it, trying to find even clothing magazines that were skimpy enough just to satisfy my craving, watching video after video, sometimes several times a day. Then I would try and quit and that would last a little while then I would binge watch and be right back to were I started.  But this time there will be no "one last time".

12
Ages 20-29 / Re: The Brave Father and Husband - Matthew 14:25-33
« on: November 06, 2015, 10:26:43 AM »
You have done well getting as far as you have.  Dont forget that, we all have to keep our minds on the positive.  Remember in our times of struggle what Paul wrote in romans 7:15, he talks about how he does that which he hates doing but doesnt do what he wants to do.  Even he struggled with doing what was the right thing to do.  But we must also remember Philippians 4:13, we can do all things through christ who strengthens me.  I will be praying for you my brother, keep fighting, we are all in this together 

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: Started at 13... Now decided to stop at 27 (24/07/2015)
« on: November 05, 2015, 03:24:46 PM »
I have just started my fight over myself, I know your pain.  I promised myself many times I would quit but then I would relapse.  I joined this forum two days ago because I was pissed I failed again.  I hated feeling guilty and shamed.  But we dont have to feel that way, we dont have to be shameful and guilty.  Relapse is just a stumble down the road.  Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and we will all soldier on together in this fight.  I will be praying for you my brother.  We are all in this together.

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: REAL's journal
« on: November 05, 2015, 02:49:17 PM »
Welcome to the struggle my brother.  I too just started my fight.  I have attepted before but always relapsed but this time I am going to succeed.  We have the backing of our other brothers here at rebootnation and other sites like NoFap.  You will succeed in this too.  Many have come before us to lead us and many will come after us for us to lead.  Stay strong and I will be praying for you.

15
Ages 20-29 / Day 3
« on: November 05, 2015, 02:20:42 PM »
I have made it 48 hours now.  Today wasnt so bad, I stayed busy with work but the cravings still come and go.  I know things will be different later but i want it to hurry up and get there.  I never really had any problems with ED in the past, but I do often have difficulty with delayed orgasm.  It has gotten to the point before where I cant orgasm with my wife unless I am actively thinking about porn.  It has also gotten to the point some days where if I had to choose I would have picked porn over actual sex.  I just want those days to be over.  There is so much shame there for me but I am going to have so much more pride in myself when I beat this.  Thank you guys for all your help out there.  Keep up the good fight.

16
Ages 20-29 / Day 2
« on: November 04, 2015, 01:59:58 PM »
I made it 24 hours.  Not my first time making this long but I want it to be my last "first 24 hours".  I know relapse is a possibility but I dont want to even think of it as an option at this point.  The cravings suck, atleast once an hour I run into a craving.  One of my biggest triggers is boredom.  Unfortunately I work alone in a supply warehouse for 8 hours a day.  I have visiters occasionally to pick up and drop off but there is too much privacy and downtime for my own good.  I end up daydreaming of hunting for porn and how easy it would be to give in.  I have so many triggers at this point it feels like everything is a trigger.  I havent had sex in a few days, which doesnt help. I started my counter and I have set a goal of getting a new watch that I saw the other day if I can make it to 14 days.  Its nothing big, but its something I probably wouldnt normally get so it will be a nice reward.  For my praying brothers out there please send some for me, I need them right now.  I will be praying for all my brothers out there in this struggle. 

More about my history - I am married with six children.  I meet my wife 6 years ago and she already had four children at the time.  Since then we have had two more children and are currently not taking any precautions against a third.  I have three boys and three girls now and I want to be able to say to my boys if they end up where I am that I was able to kick this habit and they can too.

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: I HAVE TO DO THIS
« on: November 04, 2015, 09:44:59 AM »
We know your pain, brother.  I have been trying for years to quit, but without someone to hold me accountable I kept relapsing.  I have only just started myself on this forum but I already feel more hopeful knowing I am not alone.  Your not alone either anymore, we will get through this together. 

18
Ages 20-29 / I have a problem with porn.
« on: November 03, 2015, 02:15:39 PM »
I have a problem with watching porn.  There I said it.  Its supposed to be the first step right, admitting you have a problem.  I have been watching/masturbating to porn since i was 13 and i am now 26, so that makes half my life I have had this habit.  I hate how controlling it is, I hate the shame and fear of being found out that I live like this.  This is hour one for me, the beginning down the road.  I have tried and tried to quit before but I never shared it with anyone.  I am too scared of being honest with my wife and friends to confide this with them.  Maybe this time will be different.  Thank you to the administrators for having a place for us to come without fear, it means a lot and I already feel more hopeful because of it.  Today is my new day one.

Pages: [1]