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Messages - Jmexsan

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1
Ages 20-29 / Re: Strong
« on: December 14, 2015, 08:36:50 PM »
COngrats)) we are all in the same board))

2
Ages 20-29 / Re: Having the advantage of having boners
« on: December 11, 2015, 09:07:19 PM »
Thanks. It was intresting. Yes; the harm is shoking and it seems as nobody cares about it, in fact I've seen a lot of videos on Youtube which talk that masturbation is OK. and even good for health, but they do forget that it is very rare case in 21st century that masturbation is coming alone with no porn.

3
Ages 20-29 / Re: Having the advantage of having boners
« on: December 10, 2015, 06:08:08 PM »
WOW! Man, One year and you say you get morning wood only once per 3 weeks or so?
Tell me your story, or if you posted it earlier, give me the link, if you do not want to write from the scretch!
I'm interested because I cannot imagine what did you do to get to the level when porn harmed you so much...
The thing that I started masturbate around 13, may be earlier (not quite sure), but I was even dating real girls at that point, and had erections. I was lucky to be growing in Eastern Europe, in small village, where I did not have good access to internet at all. I needed to wait for one movie more than a day (and it was internet from GPRs phone connection). But real addiction (as I think about it now) started when I went to a big city studying (I had around 19). I realised that there is some problem in 22 and half (when I watched Tedx talk and wanted to quit porn, I failed and I understood that something wrong; still I had sex, but sometimes realised that haven't had much pleasure from it, less than from porn...few times (I didn't have erection, but thought because girls were not good enough or i was drunk, now I understand that usually it happened next day or two AFTER edging and watching porn). I needed 4 or so porn free days, to have strong boner to have sex (I mean I could have it even after 1 day free of porn, but there was no pleasure).
Right now, My point is I used porn a lot (each 2-5 days over almost 4 years) and before I was watching porn, different quality and it wasn't each 2 days. So overall porn use is around 10 years (3-4 years of on-line stream porn usage - let's say hard use) and I have morning woods (sometimes after 2, but 100% - after 3-4 porn, masturbation free days).
The thing is, I want to hear your story, to understand, how does it happen that you need so much time to recover?
I didn't recover yet and your streaks seem almost impossible for me, but I'm trying, you're veteran for me...but I'm shocked by your problems even after 1 year of porn free life.

4
Ages 20-29 / Re: Pros and Cons of non-ejaculation
« on: November 30, 2015, 02:04:44 PM »
thank you very much guys. It is helpfull, yes, edging and do not ejaculate seems to be even force than just ejaculate. thank you for the links, they are extremely helpful

5
Ages 20-29 / Pros and Cons of non-ejaculation
« on: November 29, 2015, 06:53:36 PM »
Hello Guys. I have few questions...I wanted to find it in the web, and I noticed that there is no one common opinion on that.

1. Does somebody have an information what happenes with sperm if you do not masturbate long time (where does it go) is there any negative effect? What is a positive effect? (It is better to find how does it work on biological, chemical level; and may be to find something from specialists in this area)

2. How bad is that when you had an erection (overstimulation)...Got excited very much, and did not have ejaculation?

3. (I had this yesterday, and I had a soft pain in my stomach, now I do not have it, but I feel tension in my balls and it is hard; is it ok, or should I relapse (masturbate)?)

Thanks

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: Philosophy
« on: November 26, 2015, 11:56:16 PM »
I hoped, that there would much more comments on that...yet anyway))
I can just describe general ideas, or if you want do it even with citations or (some kind of footnotes, that you could find it by yourself))

Immanuel Kant was so disgusted by masturbation, that he was actually afraid even say this word... In any his work you will never find any analogy to this process (he does not say Masturbation or self-pleasing - none)... He says this action is so disgusting, that " even calling THIS by ITS NAME should be considered as IMMORAL" (my translation).

Here is the explanation for such a strict approach.
Wasting your sperm means to waste your vital energy. Each ejaculation shortens our lives.Why should you spill your life for nothing? Why just shorten our days?
Kant thinks that men who have wifes usually look much older than their real age, comparing to those who don't have wifes, they look younger to their age.
But when person is married he needs to perform his duty, even if it means to shorten his life and lose energy (that's why actually Kant never get married). So, even marriage is not the best decision in Kant's opinion (but this is another topic for discussion)
Considering Masturbation Kant says:
Any squandering is a vice (sin, fault...etc). Masturbation is squandering, but in this case we do not talk about health anymore...we talk about well-being. Also Kant mentiones that mental ability is also strongly affected, premature aging, wasting of power...so on...
Kant considers Masturbation as an act of suicide
"Such urges can be avoided by enchancing studying, working , sleeping only the amount of time which is required (no more)..Using work, training, education, You need to knock from the head even the idea about masturbation, because if the subject is still in thoughts, it affects your vital power (life force)."

Considering Porn, (Kant did not have it at that time, but it is easy to understand what would he think about it looking at his thoughts here):

It is unnatural lust (pleasure) that person gets not from the actual (real) object, but from its own imagination. (So, for Kant, it is unnatural and unhealthy to even have your own imagination while one masturbates  (and actually if you studied some info on the forum you would agree with that, it does not help you to recover when you are imagining some scenes from porn and masturbate to them), what would Kant say about Porn, when you don't even need to use your imagination wacthing it...he would be terrified even to think about such opportunity)))

Further Kant says: If to choose between Masturbation and to get a woman, the last option is more preferable. So even for once, even prostitutes are more preferable than masturbation.

General Idea of Kant is that we need to keep all our "Juices" inside.. sweat, sperm, saliva.... and waste it as least as possible
He tried even not to get wet, not swet)). He said:
Body Juices are reused by our oranism. They do not poison us, on the contrary, they animate (renew, revive) us , even the lowest of them. Saliva, sweat, semen, all that you need is to hold them inside. Thus, we become capable of the highest achievements.

I do not know, whether you agree or not with him...for it's funny to hear about Saliva or sweat...but sperm holding and effects from that, comparing to wasting it...I feel the effects on myself...
It is not everything that he talked about if you like it, I'll share with you some more...Moreover, I have information from other Philosophers, even from ancient Greeks or Rome...and so on...So reply, if I see enough interest, I'll put much more effort, and do much more research, and write it probably in a more fency way)))

Much LOVE)))

7
Ages 20-29 / Philosophy
« on: November 24, 2015, 12:41:43 PM »
Guys, I have realised what I was missing in my struggle!)) I did not have strong basis of why should I quit PMO at all forever. Therefore the constant relapse as at the time of strongest urge, you don't usually have as strong fast and comprehensive argument: why not? thinking about benefits and so on...takes time...
I wrote few days ago asking for an advice how to get a mind-set of "never again" - quitting completely, instead of just "abstinence" and relapsing all the time.
I've received good advices, but still there was something missing, it was not strong enough basis to establish indestructible basis for no-PM forever...
I found the solution for myself. So far it is much stronger basis, but it needs some more research anyway...
From the school I loved some kind of stories, when I became older, I fell in love with philosophy.
But the main point of Philosophy is to find the right way how to live, it is not just some hard mind-blowing discipline without any practical application; it shouldn't be...even though to many people it is...but ok...straight to the point..
I propose to post here some researches of what Great Philosophers of all times were thinking about Mastrurbation (sex) etc...they did not have porn at all, so we cannot find the opinion about that directly, but it is easy to understand what they would think about it, based on their theories...
For me it was helpful to discover the Opinion of Immanuel Kant (very popular German philosopher) about Masturbation..
I will post later his approach to that.... I will need to traslate main ideas!
I'm pretty sure for some people it will be intresting and helping)
Write your comments what do you think about that...and you can post what do you know from Philosophers about this topic!))
Thank you all!

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: Mind set of never again!
« on: November 22, 2015, 07:19:54 PM »
Hey... Thank you very much for responding...))! Actually I've read a lot of your posts, and I read some today, so it is very luck that you wrote me back)) kind of fortune))
Ye..I agree, last time I relapsed, I felt, actually during the process, how much energy, I'm just wasting...It sucked my energy from me, I felt as Somebody took my power, blood...and at the end, you again need to get your energy back, it takes days..two-three minutes of pleasure and than, days to recover energy...that sucks, and yes, when you give it other person, you don't feel like that, your energy is not wasted, it did not just disappear...
So the "self-respect" part is very what probably can give me this motivation...but it still not enough at the time of strong urge...I need to find something else, some additional thing...I do not have a lot of practise to re-direct my sexual energy, but I remember how cool when it happens, even while you reading, you become much more IN THE BOOK, you feel it, you give it your energy, attention, you're consumed by it, you read faster, understand clearer, deeper; and it is just a reading; what to say about talking to people, doing sport...but it's hard to transfer the energy, to build new road, when there is an old one, which I've been using for the last 10-12 years...
Thank you very much!)

9
Yes.You're right guys, adict always find a way to cheat the system...I'm a good example of that. But anyway on the topic:
SO what kind of softwere do I have?
I use K9 and it's good for laptop, I do not use porn on my laptop anymore (not directly) I cannot use torrents or sometimes I even blocked any stream, which helped to avoid any streaming web-site (on-line movies, tv-shows etc..) but I realized it was too harsh on me)) so, I did like that: enabled  filtering of search, added some some key-words block, blocked some key web sites, and of course blocked any porn, erotic, adult content;
Also I use  Cold Turkey pro, it is good to adjust your laptop for "work time" and "leisure", also you can block some "stream" sites, if you watch too much tv-shows, or if you know some other time-wasting resourses. But you need to disable administrator opportunity to change time (in this program you do not need the password) you just can adjust a schedule for different sites or apps on PC and disable oportunity to change anything for some period of time.
Smartphone is the hardest thing to control
I had so many different things to block properly my smartphone and I failed so far.. I found so many different ways to use Smartphone to watch porn, that you cannot even imagine...this is crazy...
but having my experience, I can help others probably))) So there is a good program SecureTeen, it is also not free, just 30 days is free, but I was so committed to stop watching porn, that bought Pro license for 1 year... So this softwere is good actually, you download it on your phone, go on web-site of the program, adjust the rules on the web site, and it works on your phone...BUT...
You need to block your internall browser in the phone (you can do it on the web page of SecureTenn - apps block feature)... Use only Google Chrome browser, you should block all others...also block your Play Market... That was my mistake, I was blocking different apps, but just realised (after yesterday's relapse) that it's better to block Play Market and that's all...You will cut all potential ways to cheat the phone)))
Much Love)) Good Luck))

10
Ages 20-29 / Mind set of never again!
« on: November 22, 2015, 11:07:24 AM »
Guys, I've seen few times that people talked about mind-set of quitting and abstinence...That if we want to really get out from Porn addiction we need to change our mind-set to "never" as porn does not exist at all...Does somebody have an idea how to do that...How better get there...
I think that my problem (in a good sense actually) that I did not have extreme consequences from porn (not yet)...I don't have ED, and on 4-5 day of PMO I always have morning wood and so on...May be that's why It's hard for me to quit it completely as I did not feel enough horror and misery from that? I don't want to experience it though, I want to quit without it...but it is so hard... on 6th or 7th day...I'm going crazy and cannot stop myself from doing this shit..This time, I need to change something...I do not know how...

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Relapse after relapse after relapse
« on: November 21, 2015, 08:32:11 PM »
I have almost the same problem...It's easy to say "quit" forever... The brain does not function like that...and still you cannot be active every second...sometimes there is time when you're bored..and it's hard to force yourself reading a book when there is a hot girls on the screen... I mean not everyone so strong to do it..I maditate bu sometimes even my rational mind says that it is intresting to take a look on the fucking screen..It is very hard to stop this urge...I have one, right now...that's fucking hard...

12
Ages 20-29 / Re: Girlfriend pics
« on: November 19, 2015, 08:25:41 AM »
Oh...no, I don't even talk about Masturbation..I do not think I will))) I'm not sure whether it does make difficult for the brain to recover) because it seems that some dose of dopamine and neuron pathes probably are used the same, when I watch porn, but i'm not sure, it is of course, not so strong as porn and It is imposible to edge on that, because she would spend whole days to do enough pictures))) ;D

13
Ages 20-29 / Girlfriend pics
« on: November 19, 2015, 08:19:52 AM »
Hello Guys... I have a question...I'm trying to reboot, refraining from all kind of screen erotic, porn and etc...
but what to do if my girlfriend sends me her pictures? I feel huge erosal from that actually, but the problem is that we're far away from each other, and I cannot touch her, so this is just pictures, that I can see...She seems to enjoy sending me her pictures....oh..my god, I'm excited even when I'm writting that..so the question is...how does it effect my recovery???..at some point anyway that is a screen...but at the same time, I have connection to my girlfriend, and she feels wanted...so..I'm not sure how to deal with that...do not want to turn her down...

14
Porn Addiction / Re: How to remove all triggers (open again)
« on: November 17, 2015, 11:31:00 PM »
Yeah your right! I can easily download youtube on my phone etc.

Why are you talking about youtube? What is there? I actually have access to Youtube, for few hours per day...I don't consider youtube dangerous at all...Dangerous for relapsing)) Do you have different experience (opinion?)

15
Porn Addiction / Re: Science of dopamine recovery
« on: November 17, 2015, 11:29:06 PM »

I've also seen you ask this question multiple times on this forum  :). And you seem to be getting the same answer every time from someone else.
[/quote]
Yes, Just wanted to see as more as possible different opinions or to get more or less poll on the issue....Or may be I wanted to have some justification as wanted to go there this week-end...but you're harsh, guys)) so probably, I will not go there and try to recover, may be next year, I'll give it one shoot, when the adiction will be dead....Or maybe I will not even want that anymore in 3 months, who knows))
I also think that strip club can be bad as well, because it can become adiction too, I've seen there a lot of peaple who seem to have a problem))) Also it is even probably worse than porn, as it is much more expensive)))

16
Porn Addiction / Re: Could you give me a valid reason to not masturbate?
« on: November 16, 2015, 10:41:28 PM »
Guys, What do you think about strip clubs? Does it count as relapse? It is natural at some point, but I feel like it is quit bad for those who tries to recover...For example I relapsed last time after going to a strip club...But at some sense it can be a natural release and re-sensitization to a real person instead of a screen. What do you think? I've hear Gabe talked about touching without sex "coreza" or something like that as a helpful thing..

17
Porn Addiction / Re: Science of dopamine recovery
« on: November 16, 2015, 10:40:00 PM »
Guys, What do you think about strip clubs? Does it count as relapse? It is natural at some point, but I feel like it is quit bad for those who tries to recover...For example I relapsed last time after going to a strip club...But at some sense it can be a natural realize and re-sensitization to a real person instead of a screen. What do you think? I've hear Gabe talked about touching without sex "coreza" or something like that as a helpful thing..

18
Porn Addiction / Re: HELP!!!! I cannot fight it myself anymore...
« on: November 16, 2015, 10:36:49 PM »
Guys, What do you think about strip clubs? Does it count as relapse? It is natural at some point, but I feel like it is quit bad for those who tries to recover...For example I relapsed last time after going to a strip club...But at some sense it can be a natural realize and re-sensitization to a real person instead of a screen. What do you think? I've hear Gabe talked about touching without sex "coreza" or something like that as a helpful thing..

19
Porn Addiction / Re: How to remove all triggers (open again)
« on: November 16, 2015, 10:30:18 PM »
Yep, thank you...but I'm not quit sure, but my pictures does not appear..and + I have ads block (which block all stupid ads with girls also)
Moreover I gave a password to my girlfriend and registered K9 on her mail, so I could not change the password...but still there is a way to cheat I think, you can use your phone or public PC in a library, to download something on your cloud or dropbox and than watch...you cannot protect yourself only by block programs unfortunately...
But thank you for your topic...this is intresting...we can post here new things about different ways "how to lock yourself up")))

20
Porn Addiction / Re: How to remove all triggers -closed-
« on: November 15, 2015, 06:45:07 PM »
Actually, I wanted to read it today))

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Porn Addiction / Re: HELP!!!! I cannot fight it myself anymore...
« on: November 10, 2015, 02:26:24 PM »
Cool...It's great that you get there))) it is very motivational even though sounds almost "sci-fi" fantastic for me)))
It is great that you got there))

22
Porn Addiction / Re: HELP!!!! I cannot fight it myself anymore...
« on: November 09, 2015, 05:50:51 PM »
How long did it take you to get out? How many attempts did you do?
How is your life now? Do you watch it sometimes? or you just do not need it at all?

23
Porn Addiction / Re: HELP!!!! I cannot fight it myself anymore...
« on: November 07, 2015, 02:25:15 PM »
Thank you very much)) TOday I feel much better..I probably should not do a such big deal of it...it seems like the more you fight, the less you win)) I need somehow just forget about porn, less you think of it, much more time without wanting it))
and thank you very much..."Just trust the process" was very helpful advice))) not freaking our))) I will try)) today is going to be new clean day, first of my future longest streak))

24
Porn Addiction / HELP!!!! I cannot fight it myself anymore...
« on: November 06, 2015, 11:13:19 PM »
Guys, I really need a help.
I keep struggling with my adiction (trying to quit) for more than 1 year, and max. what I've got was 20 days without Porn, because I was with my girlfriend and I had regular sex (but anyway I relapsed at 21st day) and It was enough for me to just watch striptease for 5 min, and Orgasm came itself, even without touching myself.... So sometimes I do not need even to M, Orgasm comes from just watching.
That was creepy because I never had such erosal in real life...

I just relapsed today...again...if to look at my Nofap schedule, (I started to be serious about it for last couple of months (let's say from August), I have 11, 10, 9, twice 7, twice 5,6, 4, 3, three time 2 and 1 days of PMO abstinence.... And somehow now I feel really miserable...fuck it...may be I just cannot break this fucking circle.

I naturally, very active guy, had a lot of activities, always was easy going, but it somehow changed
The problem is that I see improvement when reach at least 5 days of no PMO, my social life getting more active, pro-active, I talk with a lot of americans (I'm in USA right now) ...but every relapse is so painful..and it seems I cannot stop it...I understand what I'm doing, I just cannot stop it...and sometimes I feel like it is more because of phisical craving to orgasm...it is so strong that I cannot do anything...computer protection does not help much, I always find new way to cheat it, or even find free computer in a university...
today, I had morning classes, and I needed to do my paper done by Sunday...I wanted to do it today, so tomorrow I could go on social event. During the afternoon, I went to the library (coz my laptop had block porn web sites) and started to search something "intresting", but I stoped myself and did not watch..but the craving even increased... I came home and relapsed; (I found the password from the K9 in previous messages) now is 11 pm...and I did nothing...i just finished edging...fuck... when I came back home today, craving was so hard that I couldn't study, I decided to sleep a little bit, and I even had a dream about it...something like you shouldn't do it...you come back again to this point...but I woke up and anyway did it...
May be I should try just no P, but with MO when it gets to hard....but at some point I feel like it will not help...coz the whole point is to be energetic while PMO...and I do not really want to masturbate much, it is like brain gets phisical signal, and interprate it, that it is a time to watch some porn, not masturbate, watch, edging, and than masturbate...I hate all of this...
I do not know I dasperate...may be someone knows some program, how to deal with that....when somebody hooked on drugs, he has some reabilitation, doctors, here it is different, but may be you know some course to cure that shit...I tired, it cannot fight this...I always lose... I do not have ED and when I PMO, I have morning wood on third - forth day....It should sudgest that I'm not in the worst condition, but the adiction itself it strong, very strong..(average relapse, according to statistic each 5 days).
I need a help!!!!PLEASE!

25
Porn Addiction / Re: 3 years of no PMO...but now I need help!
« on: October 31, 2015, 09:35:43 PM »
Hey)) My advice will be short)) coz you're GURU)) for me))
Have your tried meditation? That is very helpful in managing emotions and anxiety. But you will need 1-2 months everyday practice 15-30 minutes. It will be worth at the end)

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