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Messages - Hova765

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Ages 40 and up / Re: The Hova Reboot v. 1.0
« on: October 11, 2015, 09:42:39 AM »
Just a quick update on my reboot. It's been 4 weeks since my last episode of PMO. It's definitely been harder than I thought it would. I catch myself daily having the urge to watch. I haven't noticed much of a difference, still very few morning hard-ons and intimate times I'm still struggling to maintain a strong enough erection for sex. I'm thankful for an understanding and caring partner, she wants to do anything to help. But on the bright side, my oral skill continue to improve. Lol. I'm still taking it a day at a time, and I appreciate all of you that continue to reach out and offer advice and support.

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Ages 40 and up / The Hova Reboot v. 1.0
« on: October 05, 2015, 02:13:14 PM »
Good afternoon Reboot Nation! I'm going to try to make some changes in my life and hopefully this can help improve some of the issues I've dealt with for the past 20+ years. I'll try to keep my back story fairly short, but want to include the more important details. Any input, advice, and whatnot is greatly appreciated.

Like most people here I found porn and masturbation at an early age. From finding grandpa's nudie mags around age 10 to figuring out masturbation at age 13 it seems like PMO has always been a part of my daily life. When I first started MO it was to adult books that my mother had. Once I learned what was going on it seems like I was unstoppable at it. Always multiple times a day. After the books came the vhs tapes that they kept hidden. I couldn't wait to get home and watch and take care of myself. I always PMO 2-3 times each afternoon before my parents came home. That was enough to satisfy me until I got to around 18 years old. Then I had my own phone installed and was able to call 900 numbers...I would rarely say anything, just usually hear their voices and O. I still hadn't had sex with a real woman, just all my PMO. I finally had sex with a real woman spring break of my freshman year at college. We dated for a few months and then broke up. Even then with her I had some minor ED, I usually chalked it up to being nervous or drinking. It was college after all...

That summer before turning 19 I started dating a girl and she got pregnant a couple months later. Our son was born just before my 20th birthday and we decided to get married. We proceeded to have two more children over the next 4 years. But even being married I was still PMO almost every day. And this was the time when the Internet was taking off so I had unlimited access to photos, videos, and chat rooms. I worked mid nights so I would come home from work, have the house to myself, and spend a couple hours before sleeping and after waking up on line. We got divorced, and that's when a majority of my ED problems got worse.

I would be with a woman and would start to get hard, but not maintain an erection completely to insertion. Other times I wouldn't even get hard at all. But would have no problem getting hard to porn for the most part. And then when even porn videos wouldn't work I would just increase the type of porn to more hardcore and fetish stuff. I've watched things no one should be turned on by, but had to watch just to PMO.  So now at age 40 I'm finally with the woman of my drams and it frustrates me at I can't make love to her the way I want. I finally found the nerve to tell her about my past of daily PMO and why we couldn't always make love. She has been supportive but I'm still as frustrated as I'll get out.

I just finished my third week of zero PMO for probably the first time since I was 13...and now thinking about how I've been doing this for 27 years...holy shit...I feel like I'm in a flatline because I hardly have any blood flow or erection while we're making out or becoming intimate in bed. I always make sure I get her off, but now it seems like she's afraid to ch me or make a move and I feel like I let her down constantly. I'm hoping I start to see and feel some improvement soon, as I would hate to push her away because of my inadequacy.

So if any of you guys have advice or tips for me believe me I was willing to try or do anything!! Thank you all and good luck to everyone who has the courage to take these steps and improve themselves!!

D

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