Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - firstofall22

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5
1
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: January 12, 2016, 12:19:56 PM »
Hey guys,

relapsed yesterday - yes, a shame! But not feeling any chaser effect which is a real progress I think! I am still thinking very positive and have new energy to do things, like it was when I startet No PMO. I met this great girl at work I really feel attracted to, just don't wanna mess this up. Bro's, please send me positive vibes, she's really nice! :)

All the best, first

2
Ages 20-29 / Re: Freedom Journal
« on: January 12, 2016, 12:16:25 PM »
All the best mate, I relapsed yesterday, again! But it's not as tragic as the first time as I now know that it's part of the game. I had been off porn for 3 weeks and was doing hard mode for 3 weeks too, so the day had to come. Just try and focus on the things you really - deep down in your heart - want to have in your life forever and try to support your wife, children and friends, cause after all they are the ones who love you and will catch you when you fall - NOT FUCKING PORN!

3
Ages 20-29 / Re: Just Tired (journal)
« on: January 04, 2016, 03:32:02 PM »
Hi ask1216,

your brain will need about 6-9 days to rewind yourself from the numb status you have from PMO. So be patient, wait another few days and you will be surprised how BIG, COLORFUL, IMMENSE and INTENSE the creative and emotional explosion in your brain will be. Other users here also describe it as "superpowers", just wait for it!

Much energy,

first

4
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: January 04, 2016, 03:26:03 PM »
Yes I am proud of myself, I feel that I am much more powerful than the last two times I did No-Fap. I am more confident and my mind is prepared for more than ever. I know what this drug can do to me and I know what can come when I reach 40, 50 or 60 days. It's going to get very ugly, but I won't give up, not this time.

Yesterday I discovered, what really blew my mind. I always asked myself why I turned to PMO, and it's the same reason why people tend to drugs or intense gaming sessions or whatever: it's because these people - including me - suffer from SOCIAL ANXIETY, not everyone, but I reckon a lot of us definitely do! So how did I found out about this? I was randomly streaming videos on Youtube when i stumbled over "Simple Pickup" and the Project GO videos they have (no advertisement). It's mind blowing!! And it makes so much sense, please watch those videos when you think you suffer from social anxiety.

first

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: Freedom Journal
« on: January 04, 2016, 03:11:47 PM »
Hey buddy what's happening at your place,

I think it's a good thing that you now know what you want. Focus and put your target in front of you! You can do it, doesn't matter what other say or even your subconscious mind!! I will think of you, mate - we are all suffering, but when we know that someone understands us and thinks of us, it's way easier.

It's good that you don't have time. There is nothing bad about it! Just focus on you class, grades, mates, friends and exams. Every second you think of porn, no porn or whatever is wasted. Try to focus on chatting with people, especially girls! If you find yourself having lack of confidence, try
"Simpe Pickup" on youtube (no advertisement) and look for "Project GO". It will take the fog off your eyes.

Much energy mate,

first

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: Freedom Journal
« on: January 02, 2016, 07:07:37 AM »
Bloody hell you better stay off energy drinks man, do you know how much sugar you used to put in your body? Good thing you quit cause otherwise you will have Diabetes with 40 easy. Just keep pushing, no matter what happens.

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: January 01, 2016, 02:02:02 PM »
Doing fine so far, nearly got them 2 weeks of No PMO. Feeling good but still unable to get into real genuine contact with women.
It's not a fucking miracle that I don't have the ability to speak to women in a way to get to sex, because I never tried it (because of PMO).

Well this is a huge issue I always fail at and which basically leads me back to PMO. I don't know how to solve this but I'm trying hard.

first

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: A new porn free me
« on: December 29, 2015, 04:51:15 PM »
Yeah hard times are coming towards you, my friend. I usually relapsed after 40-50 days twice. So be aware that your brain tells you "alright that was funny but now let's get back to business again" and your subconscious mind moves your hand to your dick and klicks the first porn site available. Just don't lose your focus, you're doing fantastic.

9
Ages 20-29 / Re: My #ihateporn Journal
« on: December 29, 2015, 04:47:07 PM »
Hey cknfella, man I know what you're going through, I've gone through this two times before and it's the most shitty part of the reboot. Keep your way, think of all the good things you did when you weren't damaged of watching porn. After 1-2 weeks of No PMO your brain will be happy again and you will continue using your superpowers. But until then, stay strong. This will be the last time of rebooting for you.

10
Ages 20-29 / Re: Freedom Journal
« on: December 29, 2015, 04:43:06 PM »
Hey man, what you expect is the trigger effect, which every drug addict has too. Due to you dopamine overload 3 days ago, your brain starts to crave for more. A lot of people give in, because at this stage your subconscious mind is very powerful. Don't let it fool you! Stay strong and keep your track, it's so easy but so hard... Much love

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: December 29, 2015, 04:38:46 PM »
Hey man it was great to see your response! Sorry for not being there for you here the last weeks but you know how it is when you relapse, everything related to this issue here is not interesting anymore and so I didn't look in here for a while. So I'm glad that you're supporting me. And yes, you're right, everytime we fail, we learn more about ourselves, and to be honest with you, it's very interesting! You need a lot of patience though and also willpower to stay on track. Little by little, we get closer to our goal, we can make this when the time is right. So in my opinion, we both can be strong enough to overcome this dark stain in our history, I will try and I know you will too. DO NOT GIVE IN when you feel like relapsing. I might try to start meditating, so my primal urges don't take over my brain.

Stay strong!

12
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: December 29, 2015, 10:30:47 AM »
Hey guys,

I am doing fine like in the other reboots I had before. I took my brain again (like the other two times) exactly 7 days to get free of fog. Now
I work like a machine, everything is possible, bright, colorful and doable. I have "superpowers", I am happy. At the same time, I am frightened about what will happen as soon as about 40-50 days pass... The good vibes are gone and relapse will make its way back to my brain. Hopefully, I will pull this fucker through this time. Also a friend of mine told me randomly, that his mom is a sexual therapist. What a coincidence! I will talk to her too as soon as I get weak again.

Much love,
first

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: December 20, 2015, 05:55:27 AM »
Hey guys thanks for the words.
I was now on "holidays" from No-PMO (3 weeks it has been) if you want to and now I am willing to strike back again. It will be the third time I am trying to overcome this fucking horrible addiction which drains every last social behaviour out of myself and makes me feel like a fucking zombie really. The difference between a porn life and a no porn life is immense. The big question is though how to overcome this evil thing which come from the subconscious mind, as dreaming lord said before, and it's all true!
I am not a reader. And I am also not religious, but I believe in sports as a way of getting a clear mind, and I am also interested in meditation. Also, I joined the community of 7cupsoftea, in order to get help from encouraged volunteers. I signed up today, I hope there will be someone helping me. If I overcome this addiction, I want to help others as well and bringing me in on this website, I really like this idea. Face to face psychologists are rare to get and very expensive, also I don't know if it is any help to me.
So SPORTS, MEDITATION and HELP will be my helping floats in this rough sea.
@dreaminglord, can you please tell me how to meditate correct, please?

Streak 3 - all rolled up again, wish me luck guys.

first

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 28, 2015, 10:08:36 AM »
Thanks man for the kind words. I relapsed again today, the vicious cycle begins to turn and it sucks all my self-confidence in it. I think you are right when you say that with every goal we become stronger and stronger. I think so, too. We have to try it again and again, until we become stronger.

I am currently looking for something I can do next time I want to relapse. Meditation, praying, excessive sports? I don't know...

In days like these I feel very weak and I am ashamed of myself, but I also don't see that I have reached so much in these 40 days. It makes sense that 10 years of hardcore PMO cant be fixed in 40 days + 40 days of No PMO, that would be just too easy.

first

15
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 27, 2015, 11:31:00 AM »
Hey guys,

it's been 4 days since I relapsed, and the chaser effect got me too, so there were 2 times PMO in total. Yes it's a shame and yes I was disappointed
but you know what, I was addicted for fuckin years so I don't expect to be healing within 90 days. It's a progress, it's a life change and that's what really counts. It's harder than I thought because it's not only porn - no - it's life (family, friends, hobbies, work, love, happiness,...) all the stuff I ignored the last years. It's hard to get out of the old patterns, but it's doable.

The "super powers" are the one thing, they give you confidence and strength. But it's only the first step of a really long way - and the way can be disappointing, because life isn't how you thought it would be when doing No PMO. Life is hard and it will always be. The key is to be grateful what you have and life every day like the last one. It's not worth making unrealistic plans for the future, because the future is NOW...and NOW... and NOW. Every second you waste. It's a waste thinking about your great life without PMO and spend your time counting days. THIS IS LIFE NOW. Live it the utmost.

first

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 22, 2015, 05:37:44 PM »
Day 41

I will set my counter back due to PMO today. It wasn't long and it wasn't intese, also the porn wasn't weird or extreme. Nevertheless it was agains our rules of NoFap and I will start from new on. But I wouldn't be an optimist if I wouldn't see a positive thing in this: I made 40 days without masturbating to porn or masturbating. I only came once in 40 days and that was actual sex. So I'm kinda proud of myself still, because this was a huge achievement. I hope to reach more next time. I think what was hard is that I had sooo much time to think about NoPMO and stuff like that because of no work. From tomorrow on I will be working - it's so much easier if you have something to do.

Keep it up guys,

Bernie

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 21, 2015, 05:18:47 PM »
Day 40

Yeeih, 40 days in a row! What a great number if there wasn't this bloody thing happening yesterday evening......I was super horny, well knowing that I was able to withstand jerking off for nearly 40 days except 1 BJ (which is not M at all). I was lying there in my bed feeling my penile area being super excited. So I was rubbing a little, not my hand but myself to my bed and pillows. It took like 20 seconds until I came. So was it bad that I came? Yes because I wanted to try hard mode. Hard mode in general is not the best thing to do according to urologists. They say it would be healthier to try to occasionally (maybe once a week) release the pressure, to cum. So it's relative, I am very proud of myself that I DID NOT watch any Porn and that I DID NOT use my hand to achieve a harsh penetration. Whatever, 2 times O in 40 days isn't bad statistics.

first

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 19, 2015, 04:58:09 PM »
Day 38

I really like my drive right now... It's not that I really have to think about no PMO all the time, it's just occasional. And once a day I want to keep you guys updated and I also want to look at my way through this hell. What I really love about all this is, that I slowly feel natural habits and behavior like I should have when I was a normal guy chasing women. It is coming, very slowly, but I am getting more and more confidence with women - there is still plenty of stuff I have to learn about being cheeky and so on... you know what I mean. I'm reading a very good book about that right now, could help I guess.
It's funny... when I first rebooted, I installed web blockers and parenting apps on my phone to block all porn content. And after a few weeks I disabled everything to get to porn. Now I have free access to all stuff but I don't even think about it. It's like you tell a child not to eat the sweet stuff in the upper drawer but the child does it - because it is forbidden. It's the same here with porn.

Greets

19
Ages 20-29 / Re: A new porn free me
« on: November 18, 2015, 03:29:07 PM »
Not hopefully, FOR SURE!! You really have to focus, it's a pretty sad story you are telling us here. But the great thing is: you know that you are the only one who can change this situation for the better! It is your brain, go and rewire it! Life is so much better without this whole porn shit, it's so worth it! From now on, you will post your feelings, emotions and progress EVERY DAY. Keep us informed, we will help you with any kind of problem.

Greets

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: Freedom Journal
« on: November 18, 2015, 03:22:21 PM »
Good work mate I like your journal, good English and very well explained. I can only give you the advice to stop masturbating entirely, cause even when you're not fapping to porn it's still a very harsh way to get to your orgasm. Try the sensual way, try tantra and other massages with your wife. Keep up the great work and when there is a strong urge: emergency.nofap.com and click "Emergency".

greets

21
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 18, 2015, 03:14:14 PM »
Day 37

No urges really, being busy doing nothing, beginning my new job on monday - time for a last relax and getting stuff sorted before I won't be able anymore. Being busy entertaining women, quite pleasing I must say. Progress!!

Greets

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 18, 2015, 03:51:48 AM »
Day 36

Feeling good today, there are some urges though which won't disappear, it's not cool. Looking forward starting my new job as I will be actually doing something the whole day instead of thinking against the urges. It will get a lot easier, well at least I hope so. Tried cold shower yesterday due to strong urges, works wonderfull (apart from that, it strengthens the body)!

first

23
Ages 20-29 / Re: Back on track
« on: November 17, 2015, 10:27:29 AM »
Day 35

Some good news and some other news - don't know if good or bad.
I finally was able to get a meeting at a really huge company near my hometown and they're now hiring me as a technician/quality supplier.
That's pretty sweet and another step towards my personal goals - don't know when I'll reach them at all, I see life as a ladder and now I'm doing another step towards independency (you have to know that I still live at home - bloody retarded I know). But yeah it's awesome!!!
Other things I was confronting today: I was feeling urges for whatever reason, it might have been some hot instagram pics or something on the web wich gave me arousal. I tried prostate massage as a way out and to release most of the pressure I was building up to that point. Now I don't know if it really worked anyway, I got rid of some fluid but I thought I could get a full load out of myself when massaging. Anyway, I feel bit of pressure is away while I don't feel the dopamine rush in my brain like I usually do when doing PMO or MO - so I guess it's okay. What do you guys think? I don't think I will repeat this as it wasn't that promising. I will observe myself if there will be more intense urges soon or not.

Cheers

24
Ages 20-29 / Re: Counting days to my freedom
« on: November 16, 2015, 04:19:16 PM »
How are urges lately? Can you handle them? Have you had a flatline so far?

25
Ages 20-29 / Re: Time to get a bit more serious
« on: November 16, 2015, 04:18:19 PM »
Cool story, man. It's really promising when you are able to have convos like these and even get a reward when you weren't able to do this before No-PMO. Even the slightest victory is a good one, fantastic.

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5