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Messages - DanteKO

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1
Teens / Re: I want to live
« on: July 11, 2015, 03:08:47 AM »
Damn, I relapsed but I'm not gonna dwell on it, I'm just gonna start over tomorrow and not let it destroy me
Try to get to 20 days without PMO. The urges usually hit the hardest between days 15-20 so it's important that you get practice with this. Good luck!

2
Teens / Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« on: July 03, 2015, 01:32:18 PM »
I was ridiculously close to relapsing last night, it was genuinely terrifying for me. I couldn't sleep and did everything I had to in order to redirect my thoughts. None of it seemed to work so I tried something I honestly haven't done in several months: I prayed. I prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to get through this addiction and the understanding that it will get better, along with prating that my relationship doesn't take a bad turn upon telling my girlfriend about my PIED.

It may seem a little bit hypocritical to post such a religion-heavy message as someone who goes to church maybe once or twice a year, but it did give me strength and I can look back at last night as another success. I'm not going to tell people what to believe or which specific methods would work for them, just wanted to give credit where it was due in basically saving my progress last night.

Keep fighting you guys, no matter what keep fighting

-SC
YES!!!! YOU BEAT THE URGE!!!

3
Teens / Re: D is for F@#$ PMO
« on: June 29, 2015, 12:52:29 AM »
Yeah, I know you're right, it's just really frustrating feeling like you're kinda enslaved to porn, dude. The urge just creeps up outta nowhere, and one thing leads to another, ya know? Its aggravating. What do you do when you start feeling a bone coming on?

I am committed 100% though, even though my mind wants otherwise at times. Just hard... and aggravating.

Yeah I can definitely agree with that dude, I've begun to feel like these cravings I get are just interfering with what I really have to offer to myself and others/society.
I do feel like a slave to these urges. But you have to realize you can free yourself from these cravings with time, practice, and effort. The urges will always be present
when you're withdrawing from anything, even from biting your nails or chewing gum. So my advice is basically since you and I can't
stop the urges coming from withdrawal, we might as well change the way we look at them and react to them. It's all about perception and the way you see your
urges, even through serious doubt. The way I deal with urges is by treating each urge that passes me by like a wave, the stronger the urge the bigger the wave. I wait
10, 20, 30, or even 60 minutes for that wave to pass over and crash into the ocean where it disappears. Waiting for it to pass can be seen as surfing the wave. Don't
fight or resist the wave, just let it go through because it doesn't change your life whatsoever. At first you may think you could never resist certain urges to PMO, but
eventually once you keep practicing waiting and resisting these urges you eventually can conquer any urge that comes your way. I also should stress that you need to
learn to surf these waves no matter how you're feeling emotionally, because emotions are definitely going to affect how you respond to urges. Remember that all of us
here suffer with urges and cravings for PMO, but resisting those urges will lead us to the better path in life. Think about it. What could you accomplish if you could resist
nearly or all of your urges and have no vices?

P.S. Sorry about the spacing on this post

4
Teens / Re: D is for F@#$ PMO
« on: June 28, 2015, 07:26:37 PM »
The slightest urge... The slightest slip up in my mind.

I couldn't even get past a full day guys.

I feel like sh!t right now.
Am I really this hooked on p, or am I just not trying hard enough? damn dude. I feel like trash.
Don't get mad over your relapses, it's pointless. You have to remember that you are resisting a primal urge which is very difficult. You should try to set goals to hit 24 hours, then 48, then 3 days, then 6 days, then a week, then 2 weeks, then 4 weeks, etc until you hit 90 days. Remember this takes discipline so you have to decide that you really want to commit to this goal.

5
Teens / Re: D is for F@#$ PMO
« on: June 27, 2015, 10:51:05 PM »
Welcome to the Nation! Watching porn isn't worth what you can gain in real life. How much you can improve yourself. How much you can care about love instead of lust.
I can only say that during your reboot you will suffer but it is because you are going through withdrawal. It's entirely normal to have depression, anxiety, brain fog, and dreams
involving wanting sex and waking up wanting sex. I wish you the best of luck while rebooting!

6
Teens / Re: Need Help - Procrastination
« on: June 27, 2015, 01:46:40 AM »
Hey bro,

Yeah I had issues like that when I was younger but high school sorta kicked it out of me with the workload.

Get a diary or planner. At my school we are required to have one of these and use it to record homework and assignments and due dates. It's helpful as we are always looking at the work we have to do, the due dates, and constantly being reminded of those due dates.

I suggest as soon as you get a task you need to sit down or take a moment to think: when am I going to get this done? I plan out my weekends as I have so much on with a schedule. It helps me heals with handling stress and workload. Literally it takes heals off my shoulders. ALWAYS ALLOW YOURSELF MORE TIME THEN YOU KNOW YOU NEED. That one is huge. Yeah it's important to know exactly how long something will take you but it helps lots when you have many different loads and are juggling then and possibly underestimating.

And the golden rule for getting stuff done:
GET ASSIGNMENTS OR HOME ESSAYS OR PROJECTS DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Especially if it's at the beginning of the term and you don't have anything else, knock that pest away. It's just one less thing you have to deal with. And think, the time you spend sitting around or gaming isn't worth the bad grades or stress so get up and at it!



Hey Sampson! I heard you stopped going on this forum but I'm glad to see you post here and I hope you're getting away from PMO and you should definitely msg me sometime. In terms of your advice, I do have a planner so when I get back into school around August for senior year I will use that planner in order to write down homework assignments. I haven't been thinking through things as concisely as you have so maybe that is something that I should consider. I really do want to get essays done as soon as I can to get them out of the way like you say because I don't really want to deal with it. Thanks so much for the advice.

7
Teens / Re: Need Help - Procrastination
« on: June 27, 2015, 01:27:56 AM »
Hey man

Procrastination sucks. But the way I fight it is that I just get the work done first before fun. It's just the way I was raised :/ Plus when I do procrastinate, I usually stay up late then there's so much stress and my acne starts to flare up. I just put myself and work first because I know the consiquences if I dont. Hope this helped :)
-Rec101
This is something I've been trying to do so much more of. Things that are important but not urgent to me. Things that aren't fun but are greatly beneficial. I don't want to stress anymore about stuff like this really. Thanks man.

8
Teens / Re: Need Help - Procrastination
« on: June 27, 2015, 01:25:55 AM »
For me, I always feel anxious until I get something important for school done. So even if its a project I know i'm going to hate doing (I legitimately had to write 8 pages about the health benefits of coconuts...) I know that afterwards i'm really relaxed and can enjoy myself. I just do it to rid of anxiety
Thanks dude, I totally understand this. I just get more anxious and more stressed out if I don't do my work. My discipline has gone up from my NoFap/Reboot and I have sort of (not too much yet) found it easier to do things I don't want to do. I guess I just have to suffer.

9
Teens / Re: I want to live
« on: June 27, 2015, 01:24:37 AM »
omfg, I had this urge all fucking day, and it wouldn't fuckin go away.  I tried going to the gym, watching tv, eating dinner, but nothing worked.  Finally I just gave in.  So fuckin pissed at myself , I can't even make one week so pathetic.  And I feel exactly like I knew I would depressed, angry, and frustrated.  God I hate urges so much.  ugh guess I gotta reset my counter.
Don't get too frustrated! Remember that you are resisting to act on one of your body's most PRIMAL urges. This isn't easy and it never will be.
You need to keep going to the gym and you need to keep yourself occupied with productive activities because these will serve as important substitutes to porn.
Go for a bike ride, drink some chamomile/green/black/ tea, talk to a friend, get schoolwork done that you don't want to do even if it's for 5 minutes, go read NoFap success stories,
go watch some of Reboot Nation's videos, go watch some of Noah Church's videos, go watch some of Clasik Oba's videos, go watch some of Black White Guy in America's videos,
go watch some of Unconventional Living's videos, work on a hobby of yours if any, eat healthy, and just do anything that isn't PMO.
If your problem isn't a "what should I do" problem and more of a "why should I do" problem, then find your true number 1 motivator.
I'm talking about something that you will cling on to in order to resist the urge to jack off even if your hand is in your pants.
For me it's because porn isn't good for me and I want to be more sex-positive with my female partners. I also just want to get out of this rut that I've been in for 2 years.
After 9 to 10 days I've felt much more anxious and I have brain fog but I can say with pleasure that I obtained superpowers and my drive is back which motivates me even more to go through with 3 months of no PMO cold turkey.
Before you keep getting at it, just think everything through and get to action. Experience NoFap and make the best of it.
You have one life, and I hope you'd rather suffer endlessly in order to overcome this addiction and end your enslavement to urges.

10
Teens / Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« on: June 24, 2015, 11:39:20 PM »
Great stuff Stretchcomic. You've grown so much in the past month. Not thinking about rebooting does help a lot and it's great you brought it up.
It just slowly separates you from your urges because you are occupied on doing something else. I also have been trying to sit in silence with myself (while thinking or listening to calming or even classical music) so that I can really let my emotions surface.
I would suggest it only if you care/aren't busy because of the effects it has. I have a lot less brain fog now because of it. Meditation is also absolutely golden and my urges become non-existent because of it. Anyways, I'm glad you're a month in now.

11
Very solid advice that I'm using now. This is the kind of advice that helps people stay on the path of rebooting but also helps them face their buried emotions and pain they've been trying to avoid, which many (but not all) heavy porn users have not confronted.

12
Teens / Re: I want to live
« on: June 21, 2015, 10:30:51 PM »
I fucked up...again.  My problem is I don't know how to stay motivated.  I use to watch videos about why porn is bad and how it's harmful and that  kept me motivated, but I've watched all those videos, and now I'm just lost.  Does anybody know of a good youtube channel that has alot of good info about why porn is wrong.  I've already watched all of the ted talks videos, Gabe's videos, sacred sexuality's videos, and no faps videos.  I really need a new channel that has good interesting content so I can stay motivated or I need just another way to stay motivated.  If anyone has any ideas I'd really appreciate it.
Hey man, the first thing I would do is what Stretchcomic said which is to keep your head up. This isn't a failure, it's only a learning experience so you can make sure that you don't relapse next time.
The next thing I would do is to fill your life with more positive activities or F.A.P. (Fun, Active, Productive) activities that serve to replace the void that your porn use filled.
Basically you should be focused on making your life more fulfilling and interesting rather than ONLY watching videos and success stories. This is so important because you may be 150 days PMO-free
but if you were doing the same things that you were doing before your reboot then you will most likely relapse again because you haven't grown at all from the time you were dependent on porn.
Practice making good decisions, especially the ones that you don't like but you know are important and healthy. Do the shit you don't want to do, and eventually you will want to do it.
There's a quote from the NoFap emergency app that reads: "Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret". It's a type of mentality I have been trying to learn to follow ever since I made the decision to reboot.
If things are hard now then that should give you all the more drive to keep working. Suffering is a hidden blessing.

Good luck with your reboot!

13
Teens / Need Help - Procrastination
« on: June 21, 2015, 03:52:40 AM »
Hey guys, Dante here just looking for some advice. What are some methods I could use to beat procrastination?
This problem has been with me for around 2 years, and it has become so self-destructive in that time.
I've nearly failed 3 classes in school and I am currently taking summer school for 2 that I failed, which cost 400$ just because of this problem.
How the hell can I stop this problem as effectively as possible? How can I make sure it never takes over again?
I want to make the best out of life, and I feel like I am squandering it when I procrastinate. What are ways I can stop this issue?

14
Porn Addiction / Re: CAN'T STOP RELAPSING!!
« on: June 20, 2015, 01:55:32 AM »
Hey Cody! Welcome to the Nation!
Before I give you any advice on how to stop relapsing, I would suggest doing the following things just in case you still find it hard to stay off of porn:
  • Getting rid of all saved images/videos of porn on your computer and other devices
  • Using a web filter/blocker in order to prevent yourself from looking at porn (Examples include K9)

Now, in regards to helping you out from abstaining from masturbating, the first thing I would suggest is to get out of the house and get busy.
Although I'm not exactly sure, you could be masturbating on the weekends because of extra free time where you have nothing to do.
Getting busy with friends, going for a walk, exercising and working out, or even going for a drive can help you out with going against urges.
The second thing I would suggest doing is getting yourself educated about how to prevent your urges from taking you over.
Here are some guides made for NoFap that can help you out.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-succeed-nofap-definitive-guide-based-6-months-experience
http://www.nofapacademy.com/downloads/NoFap-Hacks.pdf

Also, remember that although you will get urges, you are entirely in control of them. I would suggest reading these guides as well as success stories on this website when you feel like you are about to relapse.

I would also get educated about rebooting, which is going to be a crucial process in getting rid of what seems to be your developing symptoms of PIED. I'm gonna link you some videos on rebooting and for quitting porn.

Rebooting (I would suggest watching multiple times regardless of how bored you are):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU       <------- (Extremely important)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4yx4ouxGbQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo
Quitting Porn:
http://www.stopprocrastinatingapp.com/how-to-block-porn-websites/
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/10/09/how-to-quit-porn/            <---- (Helpful but there might be some pieces of inaccurate information)

I think the last piece of advice that I can give you for overcoming this problem is to start now and make a conscious effort to ending it. This issue has been making your life horrible for 2 YEARS now. Don't let it take any more of your precious time. I would rather suffer from withdrawal than suffer from regret.

15
Teens / Re: I want to live
« on: June 17, 2015, 11:27:31 PM »
I would suggest laying a strong foundation in order to go through with your reboot. This means you need to understand how addiction works at least a little bit, and how you are going to live during and after your reboot.

The most important thing is to establish a different lifestyle altogether from when you were stuck on porn. If you just quit without any insight as to what happens after you might just switch your addiction from porn to something just as bad. Although I can't fully describe it to you myself with an advanced level of depth, I can give you some of these links to get started.


Great guides on starting your reboot by William (RebootNation member), lyon3 (RebootNation member) and Gabe Deem (Creator of RebootNation):
http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals.2402/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGxXHBVDYU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4yx4ouxGbQ

For understanding how addiction works:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGxXHBVDYU

Withdrawal symptoms (YBOP):
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

Other:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=5734.msg86535#msg86535
http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-about-fantasizing-during-reboot

Hope this helps you, full credit to the authors of these articles.

16
Teens / Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« on: June 17, 2015, 06:56:48 PM »
After a few good days, TODAY SUCKED.

I was on the verge of caving into urges I had all day, something I haven't had to deal with in the last week. I haven't been so close to v=relapsing in quite some time, I had to put my phone and computer in my bedroom while I watched tv with my family in the living room. BUT THERES MORE.

I went to spend time with my gf tonight, typical fun night with her and maybe get some rewiring done. While we were having dinner together though I had a horrible anxiety attack (idk if it was because of the withdrawal symptoms or just out of fear of having to tell her about my PIED) and that sucked. My heart raced, I could hardly breathe, it was not something I am used to having.

I know that if I spent the night with her i'd have to tell her about the PIED before anything too big happened. And saying it frankly, I pussied out. I was so nervous about actually having that talk that I pretended to have a stomach ache so I could go home. Pathetic, I know. The crazy thing is, I don't even think she'd mind that much. Like I really think we're falling for each other so I have to man up and see how it goes and just trust my girl.

Things are going to get better, but they sure as hell suck now. Fight on, y'all

-SC

I think that anxiety attack could have been caused by both symptoms of withdrawal and not opening up to your girlfriend yet about your PIED. I would suggest opening up with her, because she is your girlfriend and although I have no clue how long both of you have been dating an important aspect in a relationship is to open up. Is not telling her worth all that anxiety? The last thing you want to do is keep something held in.

17
Porn Addiction / Re: Withdrawal symptoms
« on: June 17, 2015, 02:09:04 PM »
Hey!
Depending on how long you've been PMO'ing as well as how often and how many times a day, withdrawal symptoms may be non-existent or severe but here is an article showing the possible symptoms of withdrawal:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

Be prepared! If you feel horrible during this time period understand that it is NORMAL. Even people with drug addictions feel symptoms of withdrawal when quitting.
I would suggest trying to stay occupied, fixing up your eating, exercising, meditating, drinking tea (chamomile for me), following a passion (or doing any hobby or activity), getting out of the house and hanging out with friends, etc. These symptoms will pass.

Here's another good article to read on staying focused during withdrawal.

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/9-90-9-rules-helped-me-reach-90-days

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