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Messages - Steffen

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Ages 20-29 / Re: Steffen's journal
« on: June 01, 2015, 05:13:51 PM »
All right. I wanted to post every Sunday but I think that it'll be much better for me to post everyday during the first week.
Today was just fine. I was at work and I had to stay till the very night because I had lots of stuff to do.
When I got home I felt the urge to touch my penis just because it's a habit. Like.. you don't know where to put your hands. But I stopped myself and got back to business.
Now I'm about to go to bed and I put on trousers and a t-shirt so not to accidentally trigger myself. Avoiding the triggers is quite difficult though because I'm used to going on forums where there's a lot of porn posted quite often.

So I managed to get through the first day.

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Ages 20-29 / Steffen's journal
« on: May 31, 2015, 01:04:21 PM »
Hello, guys.
I'd like to tell you my story. I see how everyone's so supportive on here and I decided to try to share my experience in my attempt to quit the addiction.
There is a question. Is it even an addiction? Yes, no doubt.
Does it harm me or my life? Yes.

Today it was a beautiful spring day and I spent it inside in front of the webcam trying to find some girls willing to watch me. I am ashamed to admit it but I just can't control myself.
I watch lots of porn and I masturbate a lot. After I'm done I always feel apathy and I don't want to do anything at all. This is actually my biggest problem. After I finish, there is no motivation for anything else and the world just seems to look grey.

I want a normal life. I want to be successful at work. I want to have a girlfriend and start a family. But this addiction along with smoking just stops me from being happy, I have no doubt about the reason.
But it's unbelievably hard to quit. Every other time I say it'll the last time - it's never the last time. I'll try to study the subject more in-depth as it's often suggested on YBOP...

But I have to admit that I have a problem. And I can't go through this alone.

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