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Messages - melancholy king

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1
Porn Addiction / Re: Did your tastes really change? Really?
« on: December 06, 2015, 07:16:40 PM »
"Never trade what you want the most for what you want in the moment"£
Wow I love this quote.
I am very new to this but wanted to add something.
I have experienced most of the symptoms of withdrawl in my first week, but the biggest surprise was the anxiety as i never considered myself an anxious person. Im known as mr. laid back most of the time.

POTENTIALLY GRAPHIC CONTENT

most recently my p fantasy had been primarily cheating wives which culminated in it being my wife cheating.
I found this highly arousing.
Couple that with me being unable to perform, I was very close to suggesting to her that she got a lover or cheated if the opportunity arose.

NOW

 it is the one thing I am most anxious about.
I would be devastated.

P messes with your brain, i see that now

Porn is not an option
I also have that fantasy, although I don't have a GF or wife or anything I had similar thoughts and stuff, not sure if its just porn or something deeper (feelings of inadequacy) but it is kind of messed up.

2
I'm going to give you the best advice I can give, that way you can avoid months of relapses and failures and such.

1. Learn as much as you can on the subject; knowledge is power, if you know what the effects are on your body, why you are addicted, why you seek porn, and etc. you will be able to fare better I believe.

2. Use this website, sparingly. I recall watching a YouTube video, I think it was called "everything we know about addiction is wrong" or something along those lines, the whole point was that people who are in a healthy environment (especially those who socialize often) are far less likely to become addicted while those who are apart from society are more likely to become addicts. Makes sense because you seek porn because of the dopamine, good relationships provide dopamine in a natural way.

RN, YBOP, nofap, reddit nofap, or whatever are all good educational sites, however in terms of getting people off of PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) I doubt it is nearly as successful as some would like it to be. Why? Because talking with people online, no matter how informational or insightful, is simply not the same as talking with someone personally and face to face. If you have no other means of talking with people then I could see this website being beneficial, however if you are just trying to get off PMO this website won't be your card, instead of posting on here get out and meet people.

3. moderation is bad, Mmmkay? go hard or go home. If your heart is always half way in and half way out it'll just create conflict, making it more difficult, so just quit PMO entirely, it'll be faster and likely more effective.

3
Ok the first thing I want to ask is whether or not abstaining from PMO will bring back full sensitivity to my penis, and the second question is whether or not having sex with a real person necessary in order to rewire?

4
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: September 02, 2015, 11:47:17 AM »
Hey everybody, its been a good long while since I've posted anything on here and I just thought I would tell everyone how I'm doing. I'm on my 4th day, it may not be much but this time I feel pretty confident that I can last for a while, I've been intentionally avoided specific things that way I wouldn't be tempted to PMO, I have been fairly irritated or annoyed today but I don't know if that's the withdrawal or if its because of everything else that's going on in my life.

thank everyone who gave me support and everyone who will later on, although I don't know any of you personally the fact you gave me any advice or support at all is appreciated greatly.

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: August 03, 2015, 10:09:56 PM »
Its been a little while people, over the last couple of weeks or so I've been PMO'ing almost daily, even after I blocked all the porn on my PC now I just use fantasy, so yeah I haven't done too well whatsoever in terms of rebooting/rewiring. Something odd did happen today though, I was fantasizing about this girl I find super attractive, and no matter how hard I tried nor what I imagined happening to her I just couldn't O, this really screwed with me, I mean I can't even get off on one of the most attractive females I have ever seen, pretty pathetic if I'm being blunt here, it made me stop wanking entirely, and well lets just say my interest in being PMO free is high.

My main issue has and always will be motivation, sure I can do something if its absolutely necessary, but in terms of working out, or completing certain tasks, or in this case quitting PMO, I just can't bring myself to do it without motivation, others have always been my main motivation to push forward and so I think if I spend more time thinking about how other females see me, or perhaps how they might end up being unsatisfied by me, I think I can make great strides in getting rid of this garbage.

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: July 29, 2015, 04:51:50 PM »
I MO'd to porn fantasy last night, feel pretty pathetic, but I now know that porn goes straight to masturbation, so just staying away from porn entirely should give me the most results.

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: July 25, 2015, 02:04:07 PM »
Hey yall! its been about 9 days (although its felt like a lot longer) and I thought I would give everyone an update.

I haven't really had any improvements or anything like that in the past week or so, however I think my attitude has changed a little, the first ting I did was give up my smartphone and now have a laptop, I think it will help in the sense its more difficult to bring a laptop into the bathroom without being noticed, and plus the K9 is much better on laptop.

the other part of me that's changed is my desire for a real relationship, I mean the sex sounds great and all but I really just want someone to spend my life with, I have always thought this but recently I watched a porn video (which I regret) and I just remember looking at it thinking "I'll never do that" and I just felt horrible about it, I plan on changing that.

oh and I would really like an AP, preferably someone with K9, to get me through the 90 day challenge, if anyone is interested PM me.

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: July 15, 2015, 05:32:33 PM »
I'm back! It's been a while, regardless though glad to be back. I binged a few days ago, I felt and still feel incredibly bad about it, the sad thing is that if I hadn't screwed up the first time I wouldn't have gave in the 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th time, you get the picture, basically I put myself into this hole and now I need to crawl out of it, I didn't even want to post this because of how low I feel, but I know that if I give up I will lose.

Before I relapsed I noticed much improvement both physically and mentally, I started getting erections again although it was infrequent, didn't last long, and was only to me imagining porn (to be fair to myself no real females were around so I guess that was the only way I could) but even so that was still a great improvement over before, I also noticed much more sensitivity down there than I had before, which was also a good sign.

As for mentally I noticed a razor sharp memory a few days before I relapsed, I didn't think porn affected me all that much mentally (apart from the ED) because my memory was already so good but the fact I could remember specific details about people's faces (my main issue) was crazy.

Truth be told I had no interest in watching porn physically, but my mind tricked me into "testing it" to see if that were true, it's sad when a person can't even trust themselves.

9
Number 3 I found particularly interesting, if I ever masturbate again it'll either be stand up or laying down, thank you for the advice!

As for number 4 I've heard many times that edging is bad because it releases far more dopamine than normal, so how is your suggestion supposed to help?

10
Porn Addiction / Re: Afraid to die a virgin/forever alone
« on: June 21, 2015, 06:46:27 PM »
You are too young to be thinking about dying as a virgin. I am 24 years old and I had been a real hardcore porn addict for 10 years before I saw the famous TED talk and came across this website. Yeah quitting porn and rewiring your brain requires tremendous amount of effort, but I think it is worth it. For the virgin part I was a shy guy and did not even have a date(LOL I had a friend who did not know that the lunch she went with me was a date for me). I did not have any girlfriend at high-school mostly due to my obsession with porn and my shyness. I went to college and that situation persisted there; at some point in my junior year I told to myself that I got to do it somehow and arranged a hooker. That is how I lost my virginity, yet it was not as wonderful as I thought it would be. After that I hired escorts many times but still was not able to initiate a date with a woman. To cut it short you are too young to be worrying about these issues as you have already gone out with girls and after some time you will be able to get erections again and pursue girls.
I think this guy touched on a subject that I would like to talk about, I lost my virginity to a guy that went by Jake from State farm, now I enjoyed it somewhat so I can't feel too bad about it, however the guy was a slut and I could have easily gotten an STD from him (which I didn't thankfully) and besides that I really didn't know him too well, I mean he was cool and all but did we love each other? No. Did we cuddle? No. He didn't even get to finish. All I'm saying is that in hindsight I would have liked to form a bond with someone before I slept with them, this is especially true of my first time, don't just get desperate and give it up to anyone, I know it's different for men than it is for women but regardless you want to set a high standard for yourself.

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: June 20, 2015, 10:20:08 PM »
Relapsed: I don't know what else to say so I'll just say I screwed up, I went through a long period of going from stories to images then to a video, that sad thing is that I could have easily stopped it, but a certain part of my brain kept telling me "go for it" and I did, I used lube so it only lasted like a minute which I hope means it won't set me back too far, however I have been daily fantasizing and peeking about things I shouldn't have, so I might as well be back to zero.

The funny thing is that I thought this would be easy, but now I know better, this will be hell, it's not even the porn that's the problem, I just crave the buzz that dopamine gives me so in order to truly beat this I'll have to fight anything artificial, I may even have to give up this website for a while, but regardless I'm determined to beat this one way or another, I'll be without internet for a couple weeks here shortly so I'll try and use that as a means to an end.

12
Porn Addiction / Re: Afraid to die a virgin/forever alone
« on: June 20, 2015, 06:25:14 PM »
Your gonna be fine, your only 17, don't stress too much, their are people in their 30's, 40's, etc that have it far worse than you do, personally I'm 21 and I can tell you that I'm still optimistic about my future, you may be going through a tough patch but you'll come out fine in the end.

Getting girls is incredibly easy, especially when your horny (which makes you more aggressive) so I have no doubt you'll be able to get girls in bed with you, as for your PIED it just sounds like you haven't recovered yet, I mean you yourself said that at day 50 you had strong erections, I doubt it was a fluke.

As for you getting a partner that's a more complicated matter, I mean I don't know anything about you or your taste in women so I can't just pretend you'll end up in a good relationship if your really a bad person, I also don't want to just say "you'll find someone one of these days" because that's BS, great relationships don't just fall out of the freaking sky, so really my advice to you when it comes to serious relationships is to not worry about it, sometimes good things come to those who wait, while other times good things come to those who make the first move, keep talking to girls you like and I'm sure one (perhaps more) will want you, I know that if I had asked out my best friend we would have had a serious relationship, but I never had the testicular fortitude to ask her out, I guess I never thought I was good enough for her so nothing ever happened.

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: My Journal. I see potential in myself.
« on: June 19, 2015, 07:25:34 PM »
yeah it counts as an O.

you should take it slower man, if your trying to rewire your brain you need to let it relax for a while, that way your brain can heal from PMO, otherwise you end up just PMOing again later on.

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: June 18, 2015, 09:33:18 PM »
Day 23: it's been good the last few days, I got a lot of stuff done and I feel good about myself right about now, when I first started this no PMO lifestyle I thought that it wouldn't take too long to recover and that I would regain normal erectile functioning in 90 days, but now that I think about it I understand it may take far longer for me to rewrire, so I'm probably going to go hard mode for as long as possible until I feel I have fully recovered, I just want to look down every now and then and see my rock hard dick the way I used to, I want to want someone, I know it sounds silly but I just want to be the best I can be, both inside and outside, wish me luck!

15
I am also into humiliation, however I honestly enjoy it, my personal belief is that as long as your sexual tastes don't hurt you or others it's fine, for instance I think it's fine to enjoy pain as long as the injuries are minor and temporary, in the same way I think it's ok to enjoy being humiliated as long as you don't end up being mentally harmed in the process, think about it this way, would you rather enjoy it or hate it? I personally think it's kind of funny that I get off on something that others can't bear, however you may feel differently.


as for whether or not no PMO would help get rid of your fetishes I can't say for sure, if you've been into something since you were but a lad then I think it would take an insanely long period of time (perhaps years) for your mind to seek pleasure elsewhere, the thing is though humiliation is a part of someone's life at one point or another so I doubt you would be able to avoid it for too long, your best bet I think would be to stop getting your kinks filled from a computer and instead get them from a real person, I know that may sound weird but I think having your pleasure be put in the hands of someone else would make it safer and better because you would then be encouraged to give something back in return.

16
artificial stimulation is bad, no matter who's in it, in fact I recall Gabe saying something like you can get PIED from swimsuit magazines.

in any case you get back on that horse and you eat that horse.

17
I have been rebooting for a few weeks and I haven't went through the dreaded flatline yet, I may later but I wouldn't be surprised if I never flatline, results may vary my friend.

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: June 14, 2015, 09:09:10 PM »
Day 19: I've started to realize that I have a very addictive personality, I mean I have made some progress on many things but I can't seem to shake them off completely, for example I basically stopped gaming altogether but I find myself compelled to keep up to date on certain games I like and despite not owning a console I still keep some games around, or I want to stop eating sweets altogether but I'll find myself eating banana pudding (in my mind I think because it has bananas in it it's alright) or I'll allow myself to think of erotic fantasy and even look up stories that I know I shouldn't, I don't know what it is but I think this is a reoccurring issue for me, maybe I don't get enough out of life so end up getting it somewhere else? I wanna know how many people here have the same issue, not just PMO addiction but multiple addictions that span many years.

19
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: Insane PE
« on: June 14, 2015, 03:03:01 PM »
assuming your counter is accurate I think your pretty much recovered at this point, you happen to be one of those people who get off way to easily, going slow might help, you could also practice edging/jelqing on your girl.

20
Porn Addiction / Re: if i releapse
« on: June 13, 2015, 08:14:37 AM »
you didn't "commit a crime" you just slipped up, it won't bring you back to zero or anything, however it will likely slow down your reboot.

be a little easy on yourself, not only did you avoid porn but your still set on avoiding it, your human and you made a mistake, it's gonna be fine, all you have to do is right your wrong by not slipping again and your mind will rewire back to its old self again.

21
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zero to Hero
« on: June 12, 2015, 08:42:20 PM »
Day 17: got a strong craving to masturbate today, the first time actually, didn't give in. I also saw a few pictures and read a few stories, I don't know what came over me, I. think I'm just an overly curious pooch, but regardless I won't give in to PMO anytime soon.

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: please help me !!!
« on: June 11, 2015, 08:13:22 PM »
you didn't relapse, everything will be ok for now.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: My Journal. I see potential in myself.
« on: June 11, 2015, 06:42:39 PM »
don't allow your addiction to porn become an addiction to sex, instead of just trying to bang as many women as possible you should be a little more careful with it, perhaps getting to know these chicks before you have sex with them?

24
Success Stories / Re: 93 days no PMO report
« on: June 11, 2015, 06:37:33 PM »
I'm glad to see you reach 90 days! I plan on getting through 90 days hard mode (maybe longer) as well, and I'm just glad to see that it's possible, and that I can cure my ED.

as for how it will affect your reboot it'll either speed it up or slow it down a little, I say you were wise to O with a person and not pixels.

25
Porn Addiction / Re: I have a question
« on: June 11, 2015, 06:28:22 PM »
your much better off getting into a healthy relationship with a good girl by meeting women in real life than online, I'm not saying that online dating is bad, but if it's tempting you to relapse and you haven't had much success with it so far then just ignore it.

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