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Messages - Gabe Deem

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1
Porn Addiction / CBS DFW Channel 11 Features Reboot Nation
« on: September 27, 2019, 10:44:27 AM »
More awareness raised!

I was interviewed for this local Dallas/Forth Worth news show back in March... This show turned out pretty good. Grateful I had the opportunity to share. One thing I wish they would have used was clips of me explaining how to talk with young people about porn. One thing I suggest is physiology first, psychology second. If you start with a health/brain perspective they will know where you're coming from on the topic and be interested in what you have to say rather than started with "porn sex isn't like real sex" or something like that because then they will think you're a prude or simply don't know what you're talking about because to them - and me when I was a teen - porn sex IS like real sex.

Anywho, short 5 minute news clip:

https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2019/09/25/smart-phones-computers-generation-porn-addicts-public-health-emergency/?fbclid=IwAR2HfEIhRmcw_zqi8FjlyfN88475_2xWnIw3_iiTDD2_JD9Eq_X2CqOJnLw

Hope everyone has a great porn-free day! Keep truckin and much love.


2
Porn Addiction / Re: NEW VID: BASICS OF ADDICTION BRAIN SCIENCE
« on: September 25, 2019, 06:54:21 PM »
Thanks for the kind words y'all! Always been a goal of mine to steer people away from bro science. Seems to get passed around frequently in the community and it ends up being a blind leading the blind situation.

And yes, @DoneAtLast I just recently got married last month!  8) ;D woop woop! Thank you


3
Porn Addiction / NEW VID: BASICS OF ADDICTION BRAIN SCIENCE
« on: September 18, 2019, 12:40:26 AM »
Hey Nation,

Made a new video on the basics of all addiction (short 5 min.) Covers the 4 main brain changes in a real simple way. Great for showing a older kid/teen to get the porn convo started. Hopefully it helps!

https://youtu.be/ffKy-DFU1S4


4
Porn Addiction / Re: Porn Gave Me A Limp Noodle - Why I Told The World
« on: September 15, 2019, 12:10:36 PM »
Thanks for the kind words Lero, Psyc Ops, and Pete McVries! The fight continues.. more vids to come.

5
Porn Addiction / Porn Gave Me A Limp Noodle - Why I Told The World
« on: September 04, 2019, 09:31:50 PM »
What's up Nation! Exceited to let y'all know Reboot Nation has a new video on YouTube! This video covers what made me speak up publicly and share my story of porn-induced erectile dysfunction with the world. Give it a peep and please spread it around wherever you can! Hope it helps many people out there and the truth reaches far and wide  8)

Porn Gave Me A Limp Noodle - Why I Told The World: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo-I6TLo838&feature=youtu.be

6
Porn Addiction / Upcoming Conference in Sydney - I'll be speaking
« on: August 29, 2019, 10:19:04 AM »
Hey Nation!

Just wanted to let y'all know I'll be speaking in Sydney, Australia on Sep. 21st at the Building Digital Resilience Conference. Here is a short vid I made for it on my Twitter. Several experts will be there to discuss how we can help youth navigate and be prepared for the online world they are growing up in. I'll be discussing the neuroscience behind porn addiction and sexual conditioning as well as sharing my personal story and giving advice on how to discuss porn with kids:

https://twitter.com/gabedeem/status/1164924382906671109?s=20

http://wa3iapps.com/aware-conference/?fbclid=IwAR1Fw_n6Zt9cLhe15_4iQganWl_vW4MyEiU--lycDO04I1V-UicA491Lahw

Much love

7
Porn Addiction / Re: Survey being conducted on problematic porn use.
« on: August 21, 2019, 10:16:29 AM »
Thanks for doing the survey guys! Bumping this for visibility. As they said... doesn't take that long.

8
Porn Addiction / Survey being conducted on problematic porn use.
« on: August 15, 2019, 10:32:43 PM »
Hey Nation,

There's a new Monash University student survey being conducted on problematic porn use. I'd greatly appreciate it if y'all took some time to fill it out. Below is a few details and the link! Much love.

Quote
The  study aims to investigate how pornography affects people in different ways. More specifically, the study aims to compare the experiences of people who experience problems related to their pornography use (problematic users) versus people who don’t (non-problematic users). As a participant, you will be asked to complete a series of confidential and anonymous questions regarding your use of pornography, its effects on you, as well as other questions regarding your psychological well-being. The survey should take approximately 30-45 minutes to complete.

https://monash.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1FkP1Bn2tUomjTD




9
Porn Addiction / Re: I need to hear it from a man
« on: July 13, 2019, 02:48:09 PM »
I agree with DoneAtLast in that a partner cannot ever compete with porn. I wrote a piece expounding on this a couple years back here:https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/news/a30287/an-ex-porn-addicts-message-to-jennifer-lawrence/

10
What up Nation,

Please consider helping my friends in New Zealand who are making a documentary on porn's impact on children. Watch this trailer and you'll see really quick that they have hearts of gold full of passion and simply want to help others. At the very least consider sharing this link with others:

https://igg.me/at/ourkidsonline

11
Porn Addiction / Please Help Take this Survey for Recovery App
« on: July 09, 2019, 09:28:20 PM »
Hey Nation,

A new recovery app is being developed for rebooters. Would y'all please take a minute and take this quick survey to help:


https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/HelpTLC

12
Success Stories / Re: Need Motivation? Hear Me Out! Short and Sweet
« on: July 09, 2019, 10:52:20 AM »
i was wondering if after leaving behind your addiction if you have a new approach to sex all together? i saw that sometimes you mention Karezza for the new recovering people, but are you still using it on your regular basis? or was it just something you did at the beggining?

I would say yes, my approach to sex has changed. I care more about mutual pleasure and connection, rather than just trying to "fuck" and bust a nut - basically reenacting a porn scene. I care more about what my partner wants to do, compared to my younger years where I would think more in terms of what I could get my partner to do for me. As far as Karezza is concerned, I no longer do it. Although I fully support anyone who wants to, and I think it is awesome. I highly recommend it for those who are trying to rewire.


13
@DoneAtlast

Quote
It is SO important for rebooters or people thinking about rebooting to realize that porn =/= sex


Exactly. A great point to make. In this video I argue the importance of differentiating the two.

https://youtu.be/m9n-hs83AsY

14
Porn Addiction / Re: Recommend me a book!
« on: July 08, 2019, 12:17:32 PM »
Quote
The Slight Edge. Easy read.

Author name? There seem to be two different ones.

Jeff Olson: The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness

15
Porn Addiction / Re: Recommend me a book!
« on: June 29, 2019, 04:17:39 PM »
The Slight Edge. Easy read. Packed with golden advice. Also just read Good to Great. Although it is written for business peeps, the advice and principles are certainly applicable to self-development. 

16
Porn Addiction / Re: Great presentation by Gary Wilson
« on: June 29, 2019, 04:06:53 PM »
This is the quality content I like to see being shared!! Bravo peeps... bravo.  8)

17
Raising awareness one article at a time! Keep truckin rebooters! I'll never stop doing what I can to get this info out until the world is aware of potential problems.

https://www.esquiresg.com/features/why-porn-addiction-can-ruin-your-sex-life-for-good-feature-online-search-medical-symptom-psychology-couple-relationship-explicit-pleasure/

18
**Forum Rules-Guidelines-Suggestions** / Re: Banning!!!
« on: June 18, 2019, 10:38:53 AM »
Hey Nick, here you can find the forum rules: http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=6.0

19
Success Stories / Re: Successes Before 90 Days!
« on: May 19, 2019, 09:17:42 AM »
@CHLM
Quote
Never had successful intercourse (entire life) so would take the receptive position despite preference for other position

After approximately 75 Days

-Get erections during the day when I think about my partner

Thanks for posting man! So incredible to see such great improvement so fast. Congrats on 75 days. I really appreciate you posting and giving back to the community. Hope the best for you!

Much love and keep truckin  8)

20
Porn Addiction / Re: Relapse + Restart
« on: May 17, 2019, 09:30:14 AM »
Don't think of the relapse as a "failure," think of it as a learning experience. Remember what led you down the road to viewing porn and be mindful and redirect your behavior next time as early as possible.

and CONGRATS on 140! That is a huge accomplishment. Keep truckin, and hope for the best for you man.

21
Congrats on 1 year free! That is incredible, and it sounds like you're taking care of yourself and living a healthy life. As to your question of "how do we determine we are cured? Should you wait to see mental signs? These questions are answered here:

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=70.msg370#msg370

Hope that helps. We've seen people need longer than a year and still recover. If you haven't already, read through the FAQ's and watch our videos for more tips and advice that may clear up some of your questions.

22
Porn Addiction / Re: Is Addiction actually a disease?
« on: April 24, 2019, 10:06:18 AM »
Consider that even the people who are addicted to the heaviest drugs can overcome their addiction by the exercise of will, friendship and accountability. Shouldn't this tell us something?

Are you familiar with the rat park experiments? Here is a good video about addiction which mentions it.

There are a lot of problems Johan's claims regarding rat park and addiction, discussed here:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/critiques-of-questionable-debunking-propaganda-pieces/commentary-on-everything-we-think-we-know-about-addiction-is-wrong-in-a-nutshell/

23
Porn Addiction / Re: Day 6 -Addiction
« on: April 24, 2019, 10:02:54 AM »
Hey @bar69,

Quote
Hello, Im on day 6, it's going quite rough, I want to watch, but know future will be better

Hang in there bro. You've made it 6 days...you can make it 6 more. If it helps here is a video I made on withdrawal symptoms during recovery and the science behind them. I also would recommend getting outside and offline, maybe print off an article or grab a book and head out to a park and read and take notes. This was one of my favorite things to do on tough days. Hope that helps. Much love

https://youtu.be/dxtQq0jBncc

24
Welcome to the Nation @revoetan! Sounds like you've done your research and understand the basics of the neuroscience of addiction and sexual conditioning. If you haven't watched it yet I have an advice video you could check out.

My advice is to spend a lot of time with real people in real social situations. And when you're online use your time to get educated on something, or print off articles and go read them at a park or something and take notes. Also, read , read, read, and take notes on what you find meaningful and important and applicable to your life and your life's story.

I also would help others occasionally, as you begin to learn more and more information, maybe post in other peoples journals and help them when possible or simply give encouragement. Having a purpose during the reboot such as "helping others with what I've learned" can be incredibly beneficial in the long run.

Hope the best for you! Much love

25
Ages 20-29 / Re: Journal
« on: April 08, 2019, 10:03:38 AM »
Hey @LeanAndBop

Welcome to the Nation! If you've been able to reach 3 weeks, you can do it again. Take it one day at a time. Each decision you make to steer yourself away from porn and to a healthier action, or thought, reinforces the circuitry around that decisions, making it easier and easier each time.

Small, articulated goals is a great idea. We all need a clear aim. Hope the best for you! Much love.

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