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Messages - chaosbrain44

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Thank you GingerSnap for the insight.  I had never thought about it like that, but it actually makes a lot of sense- that our brains can be conditioned to respond to text and images over actual encounters.  I'm worried this may be exactly where I'm at. 

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Really helpful reply guys. I really appreciate that! It sounds like anything apart from real life is going to activate the wrong neural pathways.
GingerSnap: I'm curious about your personal opinions on long-distance relationships.
This gives me a lot to think about, and while some of it is disappointing to hear, I am really wanting to recover and willing to do whatever it takes. Thanks again!

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Let me apologize on the front end if any of this is too explicit.  Feel free to suggest edits. 

I'm currently in a long distance relationship.  We see each other about every 1-3 months.  This means we will sometimes have phone sex, video sex or do "sexting"... obviously this means masterbation, but no porn is involved. I'm connecting with a real person who I actually know and care about.  However, I'm not sure where the lines are.  I wonder if this hurts my potential recovery.

The other thing I'm unsure about is when we are together.  While we mostly stick to "standard sex stuff" we do like to masterbate together, and typically at the end of sex, I'll jerk off into her mouth.  This is mutually enjoyable, but I worry that this is just keeping my penis conditioned to respond to my hand. 

Do you think these things are setting me back?

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it still sounds like PIED to me. I'd say just keep abstaining from everything. Any intentional orgasm for me sends me back.

Thanks for the replies guys.  "Guts" how long have you been at this?  Have you seen any progress?


Thanks again!

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"regular"?  No.  But it DOES happen... sometimes weak... rarely strong (but occasionally).  It DOES seem to follow a particular pattern when I go without release for a period.  Something like (off the top of my head)

morning 1: nothing
morning 2-3: semi
morning 4-6: dead
morning 7: hard as a rock
then around day 8 or 9 I tend to flatline for a couple/few weeks
After about a month, it's semis, sometimes dead... and it stays like that up to 60 days (that is as long as I've gone with no sexual release)

The first time I have sex, it's generally completely limp.  She "makes it happen" (I sometimes cum without even getting hard once... weird) then after I cum once, I'll usually have moments of being semi-hard.... but when we do a lot of foreplay, I lose it... and it won't come back.  What gets me the HARDEST is just laying next to her in bed.  Touching her... or just THINKING about her... but it's REALLY on or off.  Sometimes I can touch her and NOTHING... other times, just a thought and I'm there... but it goes away REALLY fast.

Thanks for asking!  Any input or similar stories with success at the end are appreciated.

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Hey everybody,

I experienced ED starting in 2016 (actually probably before that, but I wasn't having sex for quite some time, so I was not aware of it until I started a new relationship and SURPRISE!) and I did research and discovered the "PIED" and "nofap" concept shortly after.

I could go through the long version of the story, but what I am wanting in this post is to see if anyone else has identified with the following traits that don't quite seem to fit the "PIED" model. I'd like to know if anyone has experienced these AND more importantly, if you've successfully recovered from it:



Viagra works for me (this seems to indicate a physical issue rather than brain issue, but the doctor says "I'm fine" physically and there are a lot more complicated details that I won't go into here)

I have not gotten an erection when viewing porn in a LONG time (it doesn't happen) BUT when I DO get a "spontaneous erection" (no touching) it happens with the woman I'm currently seeing (it's a long distance relationship- I find I can sometimes get erections when I'm WITH her AND just from interacting with her from a distance). This seems to be the opposite of what I typically read (can get erections with porn, but not with a real person). It's worth noting that even when I do get one though, I can only sustain it for a few minutes at the most.

looked at porn for YEARS (about 20) with ZERO problems. I could get hard with porn, I could get hard with my partner... no problems whatsoever (again, this seems different than most stories I read)

I don't experience any of the "positive affects" when abstaining. I don't feel more energy, more confident, more alive...none of that. Granted, I've only gotten to about 60 days with no sexual release (my lady friend and I see each other about every 1-2 months, so I'm usually having sex before the 90 days are up)

There are several other things as well, but I've looked into EVERYTHING I can find and nothing really seems to "fit." I'm losing hope and wondering if maybe it isn't "PIED" after all....

Still, I don't find porn to be a great use of my time, so I'm actively avoiding it regardless. It would sure be nice to have some hope of a solution though. If anyone identifies with anything above and has recovered or made progress, please let me know. Thanks!

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