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Messages - ToBeOrNotToBe

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Hey guys,

I've been rebooting for exactly one year now and I think some feedback and evaluation would help me. One year ago, I removed all porn from my life and abstained from masturbation but I did have sex once in a while for three months or so. Then, I turned to a hard reboot for five months approximately, so no sex any more (which was hard because I'm in a relationship).

After that time, I reintroduced sex with orgasms. The reason was that it simply felt right to try it again and it worked well and I had a lot of fun. I realised that my erections lasted longer but I had the fear of losing my boner almost every time. Before my reboot, I went flaccid almost immediately after stimulation stopped.

Now, again several months after allowing myself to have sex, I am much more (not completely, however) relaxed about everything. When I'm in the mood (which I not always am) I get 50-90% erections from kissing and from her touching my body (not my dick). Her body feels wayyyyy hotter than ever before. The duration of the erections varies, sometimes they last longer, sometimes they go down a little when I eat her out, for example, so when I'm not stimulated physically.

However, I don't get spontaneous erections throughout the day, I don't get hard only from looking at her naked body (although I really enjoy it more than before my reboot). When I think about sex especially when I'm still in bed in the morning I sometimes do get a boner, sometimes I don't. I feel like masturbating once in a while and occasionally, I do it but always without porn. After sex, I think I experience a slight chaser effect, but I can control it. Sometimes, I don't feel like having sex so much for a few days, which might or might not be a symptom of a flatline.

This is all for now. What do you think? Am I on the right track? Did/Do you experience anything similar to this? If I go on like this, will it get (even) better?

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Thank you both for your replies.

@Guts, I agree that an intentional orgasm would possibly throw me back. That's why I didn't cum. I simply enjoyed the feeling and knew there wouldn't be an orgasm. Do you still think this is "bad" behaviour?

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Hey guys,

I'm almost 200 days into my reboot (no PMO, but last orgasm a little more than three months ago) because I couldn't get hard without stimulation. I have a girlfriend and she knows about everything.

What we do in order to rewire my brain is cuddling, kissing and basically everything which doesn't involve my dick. What I'm wondering is the following: The last time we spent time together in bed, I didn't get hard even though I really enjoyed the situation. After a while she accidentally touched my penis and didn't remove her hand. Instead, she started stroking it really gently, so there was almost no stimulation at all. I didn't want her to take her hand off my dick either because at this moment, I simply enjoyed the feeling of my penis being touched (which doesn't happen too often, after all). The result was that I got hard and she gave me a blowjob (without O, though). It was really intense and reminded me why I'm going through this shit.

Now my question. I'm still far from being cured, so could getting an erection caused by soft stimulation be harmful for my reboot? I mean I didn't make it hard on my own, really only enjoyed the sensation and didn't think of porn at that moment. On the other hand, don't I have to wait until my dick gets hard without ANY physical stimulation?

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Hey,

I'm a 25 year old guy with PIED. I've already introduced myself in one of my other posts, so I'll cut a long story short: I've been suffering from PIED for quite some time meaning that I usually don't get hard without explicit stimulation. I stopped watching porn and masturbating approx. six months ago and my last orgasm was in january 2019 (not counting one time I ejaculated during a wet dream).

The thing is I have a medical condition. Due to this condition I need to get frequent erections, several times a day (which is bad if you have PIED...). So I actually HAVE to masturbate twice or so a day and this, of course, severely interferes with NoFap. So, here's what I do.

When I want to get hard, I gently stroke my dick and balls until I get an erection. Then I use my hand to stay hard but only with minimal movements and pressure (in order to avoid death grip and stuff). I try to concentrate on the feeling alone and stop as soon as I'm fully erect to avoid coming too close to orgasm. All in all, I call this "minimal masturbation" for myself because all I do is to keep the erection with as little effort as possible. I don't do this for an orgasm, so I stop whenever I'm hard. Please believe me, this is not an excuse, it's necessary.

The reason why I'm telling you this is that I'm interested whether there are people who rebooted without quitting masturbation completely. I know most guys decide to go hardmode and I understand that this probably speeds up the process because I do notice something which might be the chaser effect once in a while.

So, since I have to get hard often I have to "minimally masturbate" quite frequently without orgasm. Any thoughts about this? Anybody who went through the process of rebooting in this kind of softmode?

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Ages 20-29 / Re: 160 days into reboot - Need some advice
« on: March 21, 2019, 03:08:55 AM »
Hey man, while I can't speak directly from experience (my longest streak was 120 days) I was fantasizing hooking up with real women which I believe contributed to my eventual relapse. These thoughts are natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. However, I think we can improve our rewiring process if we try not to give these thoughts any energy. I would suggest letting them arise and die back down, kind of like a wave...treating it like an exercise in meditation. These thoughts may never die completely, but the will come less frequently and less intensely, and you will have more strength to let them go each time! Best of luck to you :)

Hey, thanks for your response. Do/did you suffer from PIED? Do you get erections when making out with a girl?

I would really like to read about other people's experiences regarding the points I mentioned in my initial post.

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Ages 20-29 / 160 days into reboot - Need some advice
« on: March 18, 2019, 01:08:53 PM »
Hey all,

Today is day 160 of my reboot. I started PMO'ing at the age of 14/15 (I don't remember exactly) and especially at that age, I'd watch porn every day. Now I'm 25 and I decided something had to change several months ago. My porn use wasn't as regular as when I was younger in the past years but the times I masturbated while watching porn were intense, i.e. several hours at a time. The reason why I quit porn and masturbation was because I almost never had the desire to have sex with my partner and I suffered from PIED. I was able to get an erection but only with stimulation and my penis went flaccid as soon as the stimulation stopped. This simply didn't feel right.

So 160 days ago, I decided to quit porn and since then, I never intentionally watched it again. I did see some images once in while (e.g. when deleting porn images or videos from my computer) but I always immediately looked away or tried to keep the visual impressions as superficial as possible. I also cut out masturbation which I did daily before my reboot. When I did not watch porn while masturbating, I did sexting.

Now, after quite some time, I do see improvements, so the positive things first. My penis is way more sensitive than before. I have erections every night and I think I want to have more sex with real people instead of sitting in front of my computer and jerk off while watching people having sex. When somebody slightly touches my dick, it usually gets hard within seconds. As I haven't had too much sex up to this moment (because I didn't want to destroy the progress of my reboot), I cannot tell for sure whether this happened every single time, but most of the times I did have sex, my erections lasted longer and didn't fade immediately after stimulation ended.

There are, however, several things I kind of worry about. Virtually every time I cuddle with my partner or we kiss, nothing happens down there. Sometimes I do feel "something" but this is still far from being an erection. Even when she strokes my body (meaning everything but my penis and balls), most of the time my dick doesn't get hard. This might be because my body doesn't associate all this with true arousal anymore. To get this back, we don't touch my dick my when we have "sex". Also, I still feel that strange kind of arousal once in a while which is no real "dick arousal" but stems from the artificial super-stimulation caused by porn use. I think this is my brain forcing me to jerk off and/or watch porn. Even though I really don't want to watch porn ever again because it does harm to my health, it's still in my head. Sometimes porn scenes pop up in my head especially right before falling asleep or after waking up. I always try to ban those thought from my head and most of the time this works well. But during the last month or so, the urge to watch porn and to masturbate increased again (especially the latter). When I fantasize I don't fantasize about having sex with my gf but with other people I know. I regard it as a good sign that I don't think about having sex with some porn actress but I don't understand why it's not my gf I fantasize about even though I really love her. Maybe this is because I try to replace the porn in my head by some porn-like scenes with people I know personally.

My point is I do see improvements after 160 days but I wonder why I still don't get erections when making out with somebody or when looking at a beautiful girl on street or whatever. Are there people out there who went through the same worries? Anything I can change? Anything I should continue doing? Any thoughts or comments on this are appreciated. I need somebody to tell me where I am in this journey.

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