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Messages - MosesY

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: October 04, 2019, 06:02:36 AM »
I am not sure how many days I am porn free now. Does it matter? At least a month. I have a different phone now without any counters on it. I am going to put a counter on it this morning. Life is so much better without porn.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: September 13, 2019, 05:32:09 PM »
I am a little twmpted to visit a site right now but I know what that leads to and am able to resist temptation.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: September 04, 2019, 07:18:15 PM »
Thank you for the kind words jixu

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: September 04, 2019, 07:52:42 AM »
I am in  a good place today. Just watching Netflix and relaxing.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: July 17, 2019, 03:52:53 AM »
I relapsed some this weekend. I reset my timer and am on day 3 now, The thing I found out is that porn no longer holds an attraction for me, it doesn't turn me on like it used to, I see how fake it is. There was no specific trigger. I think it will be a long time before I am tempted to look at it again.

Women / Re: Its a process...I guess.
« on: June 30, 2019, 02:20:52 AM »
I am a male, I do not feel it is my place to respond here, but this really hits home with me. I was born Amish and taught to be non-resistant. One time in elementary school when it was snowy outside some kids beat up on me too, pushing me down in the snow punching me and kicking me. I was taught that resisting is wrong and if my dad found out I was in a fight at school (no matter the blame) I would have gotten a whipping at home. This is the first time I ever told anyone about it.

This place is where school shootings come from. People are bullied and feel helpless and it's the only way to get revenge.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 24, 2019, 05:05:34 AM »
99 days clean now. The other day I was really tempted to go visit a site again but various things such as my blocker kept me from it. I am not counting it as a relapse because I never actually did anything and came to my senses. After being without porn for so long it no longer holds the appeal for me that it used to.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 16, 2019, 02:46:06 AM »
Today is 90 days freedom from porn. Could not have done this without God's work in my heart, the book "Your Brain on Porn", and the help I received on this site.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 15, 2019, 05:05:05 AM »
Today is day 89. I went from visiting a porn site every day to almost 90 days freedom from porn. It would not have been possible without God changing my heart and I give Him the glory for that. Today I am doing laundry and grocery shopping then the rest of the day is for relaxing. I have an old Coleman iron I plan on messing around with today and I have the lantern that was my dad's lantern I plan on lighting today and tomorrow in honor of my father.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 14, 2019, 12:28:22 AM »
I appreciate the encouragement. Sunday I wil celebrate 90 days freedom from porn and 86 days freedom from alcohol. An old girlfriend messaged me today and sent me a friend request saying she forgives me. I hope to be able to talk things over with her and gradually over a period of time possibly get back together. The timing is really amazing; 90 days freedom from porn and contact with an old girlfriend on the same weekend.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 12, 2019, 02:13:54 AM »
Thanks for the encouragement. I am 86 days clean now.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 11, 2019, 01:19:08 AM »
I am 85 days free from porn now. Sunday will be 90 days. Hard to believe, that went very fast. I used to get drunk every night and look at chat rooms and isolating myself. I could not have done it without God's help. Some things that also helped are my journal here and the counter on my phone. I plan on celebrating Sunday. I feel very good about myself right now.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 09, 2019, 03:11:08 AM »
83 days clean now. I have a strong urge to look at porn this morning but I will resist. I am writing a letter to a pen pal. Later on today I will light some of my lanterns, smoke a cigar, and drink nonalcoholic beer.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 07, 2019, 02:39:56 AM »
I am 81 days porn free now. This weekend I have to work Saturday morning, plan on working on a lantern in the afternoon and writing a letter to a pen pal.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 02, 2019, 03:18:09 AM »
76 days clean now, 2 weeks to go. I am making a few videos today with my Coleman appliances.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: June 01, 2019, 03:09:10 AM »
75 days clean now, only 15 to go. No urge to look at porn this morning. Today I am working on a couple lanterns and making a few more videos for my channel. I have some videos on the famous site but my first videos are very amateur. I am slowly getting better. Yesterday I put an app on my phone to edit video, maybe these will be better.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: May 31, 2019, 01:41:58 AM »
74 days clean now, 71 with no alcohol. I have no urge to look at porn this morning, none. I am picking up two lanterns after work today and will work on them this weekend. One of them doesn't need anything it is ike new but the other will need a complete tear down probably.

Here is a before & after of a lantern I refurbished last weekend.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: May 30, 2019, 05:05:28 AM »
My journal was unlocked for some reason so I am continuing with the original journal.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: May 30, 2019, 05:01:22 AM »
I am close to 73 days free from porn now. I was reading some about the link between porn and mental health. Watching porn reduces the mount of pleasure I have in other areas of life thus causing things such as depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. Really amazing how much it affects me. Suicide is so frequent that it is the tenth leading cause of death in the US. Every year almost 45,000 people choose to end there life. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in people under the age of 34. I wonder how much suicide would be eliminated if we eliminated porn?

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: May 30, 2019, 05:00:33 AM »
72 days free from porn. I had a great weekend. I found my birth certificate, I had been looking for it a while, it was in an envelope with a different label. Thrilled to have found that. I am only 18 days away from my 90 day goal, a little over 2 weeks yet. WHen I reach that goal I am going to have a major celebration.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Exodus
« on: May 30, 2019, 04:58:55 AM »
My journal was locked with no explanation so I am beginning another one. I am free from porn for 70 days now, getting close to my 90 day goal. I am noticing changes in my body now, I am more sensitive to women. Socially I am doing better also, I called and talked to a couple friends today and I sat and smoked a cigar out in the garage with my roommate. I am working on rebuilding a lantern this weekend and plan on using some of my Coleman stoves and oven tomorrow to cook a steak. Overall a great weekend and feeling great.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« on: May 28, 2019, 10:42:20 AM »
You quoted Isaiah 41:10 at some point, I was reading through your journal. That was a real encouragement to me. I found this quote from Oswald Chambers the other day; "There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awesomeness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair. You experience this joy in hopelessness, realizing that if you are ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God." I printed these passages and hung them on my desk.

Ages 40 and up / Exodus #2
« on: May 26, 2019, 11:55:55 AM »

Porn Addiction / Re: Just lost my family
« on: May 25, 2019, 12:59:40 AM »
I would suggest fighting for your family. Come up with a plan to fight porn. Read "Your Brain on Porn" for sure. I made the mistake of giving up when this happened to me; your family wants you to fight for them.

Porn Addiction / Re: abstinence versus understanding
« on: May 23, 2019, 02:52:05 PM »
I would say that understanding what porn does to me socially and how it works in my brain to make me feel good was a major part in being able to abstain from it. I am 67 days porn free now and in large part that is because of the detailed explanation of the effects of poorn in the book "Your Brain on Porn". I became desperate enough to research quitting because of my spiritual persuasions and when I went looking I found this site and then the book was recommended. I tried quitting before with just willpower & determination and yes it doesn't work for me, understanding what porn does helped tremendously.

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