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Messages - deminounrae

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Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: July 10, 2019, 04:33:21 PM »
I'm on day 9

Two days ago I had a super strong temptation, I almost fell. I had to MO to calm down. Now I'm back to normal. I try to keep super busy cause it works. I almost fell again but I didn't.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: July 04, 2019, 10:28:56 AM »
Just to say that everything is fine and porn is the last thing I'm thinking of right now.

It's 4 days now

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: July 01, 2019, 05:27:42 AM »
Thank you so much.

You almost made me cry... I think that now I have the motivations I needed

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 30, 2019, 06:38:54 PM »

I hope things are going well for you because for me they are not. I slipped once 3 days ago and today again twice.
It's strange, the first slip was almost called for. Hundreds of things that accumulated to the point where I PMO'd. Today itnwas just that I needed a release valve and I fell back into temptation again. I know it's not the end of the world but I am a little sick of this back and forth condition I'm in.

When I rebooted the first time I was super motivated and I lasted all those days until I played with fire and got burned.

From that day on I'm doing this Porn free life but I'm not that motivated because I still feel healthy, but I know that porn is bad. So this lack of strong motivations keeps me in this sort of limbo. In 2 days time I'll be free from all duties and so will be my girl, so I think I'll be porn free for quite a while. Only time will tell. Sorry if I've let someone down

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 24, 2019, 01:33:01 AM »
Day 14

These 3 days have passed well, I was super busy. On day 13 I decided to MO because I wanted to and something in my mind told me to watch porn. I didn't do it and I ended the right way. Now I know that my brain is still associating masturbation to porn. The simple way out will be no M for a while.
I was wondering how can a thing like P fuck you up so much. I personally have been desensitized by it. I recovered from that condition. Fell into it again just for two weeks and two weeks was enough to lose the MWs and having some trouble finishing again. Now that I'm back on track I'm feeling way better, but knowing that I have pathways in my brain is a little scary. I remember what it was like falling into it again... It started has a slip, I have watched some videos that said a slip is not a total relapse, if you're not bingeing you're ok just be careful. I have to say I wasn't feeling guilty, I was alright. Then the day after I was there again and just like that I knew I was hooked. In that moments I was like a spectator I knew it wasn't right but I did it. I lost a lot of my self-esteem in the process. I was proud of my streak and I had it broken in two days. I continued going back and forth not being able to stay away from it. Then, just like the first time, it was my girl who saved me. We had sex on her return and I knew that I wasn't sensitive as I was, that wasn't the erection I had before breaking the streak of no P.
So here I am doing it again because I want to be healty and be free from any addiction. I had to get it off my chest

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 21, 2019, 08:27:18 AM »
Day 10-11

I had sex on day 10, which was until then a very boring day. I'm feeling way more comfortable now and I had plenty of fun doing it. I went to bed at 3 AM because of it and the day after (day 11) I was just like a Zombie all day ahahah (nobody ever laughs in this journals, I hope I will be the first of many). So the day went by between naps , work and a long, almost devastating, training in the late afternoon. I just collapsed in the bed. So no. No PMO

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 19, 2019, 07:41:47 AM »
Every good step is a step forward. Don't think about it like: "Fuck, man! Those urges are killing me!" Think about it like: "I' just passed a round of urges. I can do this. I'll give myself a high five." You see what I'm saying? It's focusing on how hard the urges are vs focusing on the fact that you pass them.

Wow that's a great new point of view. Thanks man!

Day 9

As I'm writing this I'm figuring out that 9 days are great!
I had a full , almost all fun day. I woke up in the morning (with a MW) , went training, I had sex and then jumped to work, after work I went to the cinema with my friends and then I went to bed. Before sleeping I usually had cravings of porn if had the cellphone in hand, but yesterday I just watched some comedic skits and that was it. I'm beginning to have the hard erections I had before slipping and it's great.

To Lero: yes I'm good now and sex is incredibly great but I have to keep the guard up, that's why I'm keeping the journal

Ages 20-29 / Re: The final countdown
« on: June 18, 2019, 07:53:05 AM »

8th day. Yesterday I had problem with erection and wasn't able to have sex with my gf. It's really annoying during a reboot because when I PMO it never happens. Should not it be reversly? Nevermind. I'm in a good mood and keep going :D

Good job man, don't think about it. This is a stiff shot but time will heal everything, and when the time will be right it will be so much satisfying. Keep going strong.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 18, 2019, 07:42:07 AM »
Day 8

I was tempted but I resisted. I ended up MO'ing in the afternoon, but I used no P and no fantasies at all. I accept that, for me there's nothing wrong, I just need to stay vigilant. The rest of the day went by, in the evening I was tempted again of watching P but I didn't so I'm ok.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 17, 2019, 12:54:30 AM »
Day 7

I spent the entire day at a cosplay fair. I was in a stand with some friends and I saw a lot of things. Again, some girls make me horny, but my mind doesn't fly around porn and in reality I don't have fantasies, it's just a stimuli. When everything ended and I went to bed, for not even a second I thought of PMO even if I had some sex thoughts but mostly about my girl

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 17, 2019, 12:37:43 AM »
Day 6

Sex has changed a bit, I'm not more sensitive but erections are stronger. I went to the sea and I can say that some girls are difficult to watch without getting a little horny, but when I see them I don't have any porn fantasy in mind or urges to PMO which I think it's good. In the evening I went to a party and although there were alcohol and girls, the moment I went to bed the last thing I thought was P. I see this as a step forward

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 14, 2019, 06:53:56 AM »
Day 5

As I said, I didn't even think about doing PMO last night.
Today I woke up ten minutes before the alarm with MW. I talk about it because for me it's an indication that things are going fine. Before rebooting I very rarely had one. Having it almost every morning is a relief, for me is the proof that I'm healthy.
Then I went training I had lunch and now I'm at work. Tonight I'm going to something that we can call "a party in the woods". So there's no chance for any P.

Tomorrow I'll have sex and I'm curious if in these 2 days something has changed

Ages 20-29 / Re: Nightmare begins responsibility!
« on: June 14, 2019, 06:36:46 AM »
One guy on my journal BluHeron (if I remember correctly) said to me something that changed my way of seeing the whole rebooting thing. Take it one day at a time. Today it's day 1. Focus on this day, don't think of what you'll be doing tomorrow. This has really helped me a lot. Also take a look at your lifestyle and try do positive things that makes you feel good. You can do it!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 13, 2019, 12:26:37 PM »
Day 4

The second half of day 3 was fun. I hung out with my friends and my girl. I drank some alcohol in the evening and then went straight to bed. No little voices, no urges nothing.
Today I woke up with a strong MW and I had to sit down and wait for it to pass before going to the bathroom :D.
Rest of the day I was at work, in a few hours I'll go play football with friends. I don't think I'll even have the energy to think at PMO.

One day at a time

Thank you Dusty. I won't disappoint you

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 12, 2019, 07:37:19 AM »
I'm writing this on the middle of day 3

Day 2 has passed very well, it was a happy day and in the evening I went out with my girl to eat an ice cream, we ended up making out on a bench and then back home. Making my way home walking and upstairs I had this little f*cking douchebag of a voice saying:"Go PMO"
I took that little s*it and threw it out the window.
This morning I had sex twice. I have to say that I remember how it was before relapsing and I'm not even close. My sensitivity has decreased a little and my boners are not strong as they used to be. Sex is still very satisfying however and drains all my horniness away (and rightfully so).

After all I'm just thinking, was it worth it? Was it worth it to fall in to the hole of porn again? Thinking "I'm over it and I can live with it"
No it f*cking wasn't. Cause now I made a step back on my sex health and I feel super guilty.

I want to reboot. One day at a time

Ages 20-29 / Re: The final countdown
« on: June 12, 2019, 07:15:10 AM »
Hi man. I just finished reading all of your journal and I can say that we are very very similar. I know how much the journal is important and I failed just like you. I'm currently on day 3.

Here's my propose we write to each other to keep motivated. That's right I don't know you and you don't know me but we both have a common goal. If you want a partner in this to be more motivated well I'm here if you want... Your choice

Here's my journal for you to read:

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 10, 2019, 07:30:59 AM »
Thanks BluHeronFan I will listen to your advice.
One day at a time. It's exactly what I did the first time I rebooted. One day at a time. Words to live by  :D

Right now it's day 1, because yesterday I slipped again, wrote the long post afterwards, I was on day 5.

One day at a time.
I love you all

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: June 09, 2019, 05:40:47 PM »
It has been a while since the last time and some things have happened. I didn't write anything before because I was ashamed and I was convinced that I could go through it by myself. I was wrong.
I have successfully rebooted, I was living at 100% I was invincible and I had big morning woods every morning but then I sllipped once. Then I did it again the day after and the day after again, that for five days. I stopped and took a breath, promised me I would never do it again. I began no PMO for 5 days, on the sixth I was back at it again. Fuck. Boredom hit me and I was down. I was feeling quite lonely, although I have a girlfriend she would have been very out of town for 1 month. I turned back almost to the old habit. Then one day I took the touch test. I failed. Fuck. I had to do something about it. I tried staying without P. I couldn't. I never had cravings when I rebooted the first time but now I had. Real urges telling me to watch some P to get aroused. i realized it but I couldn't help myself. I've found a hole in my internet protection app. Damn. I went back and forth for a little than my girl came back. Sex helped me staying away from P. I was very afraid to have gone back to my DE problems. I wasn't, but I wasn't the healthy man that I was before this relapse.

Now I'm in a sort of Limbo and I really don't know how to stop myself again. I want to be porn free. Maybe writing this post is the thing that I had to do to start again.

The biggest downer is that in this limbo I already told myself ten times that I would stop with porn... I hate the fact that I'm probably addicted. I have to get over it. I have to. For my girlfriend and especially for myself

Ages 20-29 / Re: Many times i relapsed but again started.
« on: April 10, 2019, 08:01:26 AM »
I read all of your journal. You are a very determined man.
You fell many times BUT you want to get back up and that is admirable. Like someone very wise said: "Fall 100 times and get up 101". Nothing is impossible man be strong!

Ages 20-29 / Re: 20yo w/ PIED, my journal to recovery
« on: April 10, 2019, 07:24:00 AM »
I agree with Redfire03 talk to her about this for two main reasons:
1) for personal experience I can tell you that girls tend to think they are the problem in this and can get very sad about that. So if not for other reasons at least to give her some relief.
2) she can give you all the energy you need to overcome this!
And she will be comprehensive no doubt.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: April 09, 2019, 09:14:55 AM »
P.s. sorry for the language but I am legitimately scared of losing all the hard work and that is how I usually react

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: April 09, 2019, 09:13:44 AM »
Day 77

That was F*cking close

I almost did reboot, I intentionally let my guard down, those withdrawals came to me like a f'n shotgun round.
At first I was just curious on what my internet blocker really blocked and typed names of pornstar on google.
There I saw some images of ladies in lingerie (i found lingerie one of the hottest thing existing) and I obviously got a boner. The thing stopped there but then the next day I did it again, and then again. I realized "Sh*t, this better not become an habit but it just kept coming. Until yesterday where (f*ck I can't believe I'm saying this) I removed the blocker by TYPING MY GIRLFRIEND BIRTHDAY DATE that is my password and watched two porn scenes and some gifs.

Now, here comes the interesting part.

First thing I got, boner , not complete boner.
Then after 1 minute of watching other people having sex I realized (thank you God) how fake that was and my boner went down like dow jones in 2007.
So what I did is : I reblocked my phone. And put it aside.
I was in bed, I learned in these 77 days how to masturbate correctly. So I masturbated the right way, shutting out the fantasies and focusing on sensibility.

I felt like I dodged a f*cking bullet. I am not considering this a relapse, because I didn't jacked off to porn.

But there is another part. Just 1 hour ago I did the same thing. I searched for porn, I removed the blocker and watched it. It took me 30 seconds to stop watching, really.
But I figured out that I still have a problem. So I went back to this beautiful site and I read my journal again. There are things that I didn't considered in these "almost relapse" days, like the feeling of being a f*cking loser.

I am telling the truth, one part of me misses watching porn, I don't know why , I am sexually active with a beautiful girl, but maybe the brain isn't fully detoxicated yet.





Ages 20-29 / Re: i want to fight,
« on: April 09, 2019, 08:45:22 AM »
Ciao Ares,

Non ti chiamo cosí a caso, hai il potenziale di essere il guerriero che vuoi diventare e sei sulla strada giusta.
Non essere troppo ossessionato da te stesso e le tue insicurezze... "Dovrei aspettare qualche giorno di cura in più o perdere qualche chilo prima di fare qualcosa per trovarmi una ragazza?" Ti rendi conto anche tu che è una domanda stupida vero XD? NON ASPETTARE UN C*ZZO DI NULLA! Vai e VIVI! Chissenefrega di quello che succede dopo, saranno solo storie che racconterai alla gente che avrai vicino quando avrai successo. Il reboot a me ha dato una spinta incredibile e ha cambiato la mia vita sessuale. Sono tornato su questo sito perchè ho camminato molto vicino al bordo e sono quasi ricaduto nella stessa trappola, con tutto che ho una ragazza con cui faccio sesso e anche tanto. Questa dipendenza è una merda. Punto. Ma si può battere e a noi guerrieri non ci ferma niente!

Hi man!

I can only tell my point of view, but for me you didn't do anything wrong. I had a very similar problem (you can read my journal if you like) and I can tell you that I had a successful reboot with great results. I recently MO'd but I did it because I was super horny and my girlfriend wasn't in town. Be careful MO NOT PMO.
DE has a lot to do with sensitivity of the penis and reading articles I found out that porn just fucks up the dopamine system of your brain and dopamine is one of the key for a sensitive penis. At least that's what I learned.
So for me as long as you keep the hell away from porn you're good to go. But then again, that's just my opinion based on my own personal experience.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Age 20. Do or do not. There is no try.
« on: February 06, 2019, 08:06:32 AM »
Just a quick post.
Last evening (day 15) I came from a BJ for the first time and it was epic.
Staying away from porn is easy now and porn thoughts are just scratches on the back of the head.

This site changed my life.
Thank you everyone.

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