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Messages - i_need_helpp

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Can you provide a timeline on your experience? Like year started watching porn / masturbating, when you noticed it was a problem, any change in sexual tastes, etc...

Just an update, and a thank you for all the responses.

Those three weeks I mentioned in my first post were not masturbation free, just free of watching porn.

Since the post I've committed to no PMO, and as of today I'm on day 9 of no PMO.

I feel as if I have hit the "flat line" I've seen YouTubers talk about. I have much less thoughts of porn, and sex in general.

Lately I do feel less nervous talking to strangers, it seems.

Not sure if this will help or not, but for the past 9 days I've been tracking how often I think of sexual things, and get boners and the reason for it. Also tracking whether I'm getting morning wood or not.

This week I have seemed to only max out at 2 boners in two of the days, averaging 1.2 this week, and 4/7 had morning wood. lol sorry about the weird stats

Once again, thank you all for the advice and kind words.

look into the root cause of why you watched porn. I had some great reboots when I discovered PIED - I just decided that porn was bad and damaging to every aspect of my life and I was fully onboard with the reboot, but I failed to recognise that porn was an emotional crutch that made me (very temporarily) feel better when I was sad, and that I was basically addicted to a dopamine rush.

For me the root cause to start was just curiosity at 12 years old. Like I've mentioned above, I'm always stressed with how hard my workload is from university (including high school I took all AP classes offered), so I think it was a way for me to release stress... and maybe even anger, hence past 2-3 years I've been looking at the "rough" type of pornography. I also have lifted weights since I was 16 and eat a very clean diet compared to my peers. I will take your advice about meditation and give that a shot. Maybe even try out a yoga class? I'm not sure though...

Thank you for the responses everyone, I'll still reply if anyone brings up a question or point on the topic... I'll post an update in a couple months or so on how this is going.

It's common knowledge that guys don't always get it up their first times

I actually did not know that was the norm for the first few sexual interactions. Regardless, I'm not going to watch porn from here on out. I think I just need to be more social... especially around new people. I'm even in a fraternity at university and have easy access to party and socialize with others, but I am usually locked up in my room studying because engineering is difficult.

Hello, please provide any help/advice for my situation.

I've watched porn close to every single day since 6th grade (~12 y/o) and am currently 20 years old. Within the last 2-3 years I've looked at some of the more unusual categories. Common searches for me included "rough" "brutal" "punished" "throated" and even compilations of very intense scenes. I would masturbate to this type of stuff on average between 2 and 5 hours daily. Yes, I realize that is a lot of time, I just keep trying to find better videos and the cycle never ends. After I finish I'm always disgusted with myself. But somehow, I kept going back to it.

Porn was interfering with my life at work because I thought about it when I sit at the computer (I’m an electrical engineering intern still in school), so that put me behind in my work. Also, being an engineering student provides me with lots more stress in my life (4 semesters left, FML). Normal looking girls started to not turn me on.

I have learned about PIED after 3 attempts to have sex within the past few months because I could not get hard (all 3 were different girls). I am still a virgin, have only fingered and gone down on one girl (I could just tell I was horrible at both).

Looking into PIED after the second attempt, I considered dropping porn. And after the third attempt, I have not watched porn for about 3 weeks.

I can get hard without looking at porn on a screen. My problem is getting hard with a partner. I don’t even know if I’m approaching sex the right way if that’s possible. I’ll provide a timeline with details about my last 3 encounters. They’re all very similar.

Girl 1: plan was to watch movies together, she came over, we talked a little, got in the bed to watch movies on laptop, I tried thinking about porn during the movie to get hard and then bring up having sex, didn’t get hard but started making out a lot, still not hard so just stopped after making out and that was it. Side note: in the middle of watching the movie I was nervous, so nervous that she mentioned that my heart was beating fast.

Girl 2: already arranged we were going to hook up, she came over, talked a little, after conversation died she asked, “what do you want to do?”, I suggested we watch Netflix and cuddle, lay in bed watching a movie on laptop, tried thinking of porn during movie to get hard, didn’t work still, started making out then removed her pants (with consent of course) to start fingering and going down on her (first time doing both), doing this hoping I would get hard, still did not work so I eventually just had to tell her and I was very embarrassed. At this point I searched about ED and found out about PIED. Side note: in the middle of watching the movie I was nervous again, so nervous that she also told me that my heart was beating fast.

Girl 3: this girl I had feelings for and knew her the most of all 3, and I heard from our mutual friends that she liked me, and I liked her. What went down: she came over, we talked and played video games (finally something different than the other two lmao), ended up watching movies in bed cuddling with laptop, tried thinking of porn to get hard during movie, couldn’t get hard, didn’t initiate anything further because I did not want our mutual friends to find out if I embarrass myself again. Side note: during the movie I was less nervous than the first two situations, but still nervous about it since the ED has happened twice within the past few months, and she did not say anything about my heartbeat.

After the third encounter I decided to stop watching porn for good, and it has been about 3 weeks.

I can still get hard when I’m alone thinking about porn (not looking at a screen) or having sex with girls that I know in my personal life.

Again, I’m 20 and still a virgin with experience in only fingering and going down on a girl once, so that may explain why I’m still nervous about sexual activities. I want to have sex, even thought about getting an escort, but I’m afraid I’ll not get hard and end up wasting lots of money. My main want right now is to lose my virginity, but this erection problem is getting in the way. Maybe it’s the way I’m approaching it, looking back at what I typed, I’m basically trying to get hard by daydreaming about porn while cuddling with a girl watching a movie.

 If anyone has tips/advice for my situation that would be very appreciated!

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