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Messages - Psyc Ops

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1
Porn Addiction / Re: Research study looking for participants
« on: June 29, 2019, 02:01:46 PM »
This study, like others posted here, presumes something that should not be presumed, and that is that everyone here considers themselves an addict.  After the initial disclosures, the first question was, something like, do you think you have a problem with using porn.  I don't, anymore, so I answered no.  The next screen said:  We thank you for your time spent taking this survey. Your response has been recorded.  The survey is skewed because it presumes only those actively addicted have insight to give into porn addiction, when, in fact, it is probably the opposite; those who were addicted, but have overcome it, probably have far more insight into porn addiction than a newbie porn addict, who may actually, still, believe it is "porn" they are addicted to.  It is a perfect example of people studying something they have no idea about, but are carrying in incorrect preconceptions.  You don't really need to ask newbies about their addiction, because they don't understand it. You need to talk to people who have overcome it. Gabe Deem could give you more valuable information in 10 minutes than asking newbies questions for two years. We are way beyond asking "what is porn addiction" or "why is porn addiction."  We know the answers, they are not sophisticated, not complicated, just basic neuroscience.  Save yourself some time; every question you think you want to explore has already been explored by Gary Wilson of Yourbrainonporn.  It's been done, it is already done. It's like starting a study on what causes blood clots--WE ALREADY KNOW. 

Peace.

2
Porn Addiction / Re: Today = ONE YEAR!!!
« on: April 15, 2019, 06:33:06 AM »
Excellent work .22.  Thank you for showing how it can be done. 

3
Porn Addiction / Re: Failed after almost 70 days...
« on: April 09, 2019, 08:12:17 AM »
Porn addiction, like quitting the addiction, is a trained brain response.  You were not hooked the first time you experienced porn, and overcoming porn addiction takes time, too. 

A lot of people say they use porn to treat anxiety.  Yep, but, anxiety is not something that really needs treatment.  We don't like anxiety, we wish we did not feel it, but anxiety is an evolutionary hold over from a time when anxiety was actually a very successful survival trait.  Turns out that carefree, happy, hapless monkeys are more likely to be eaten--which nature does not care about--than anxious monkeys--which nature likes because, being less likely to be eaten they are more likely to do something nature does care about--make more monkeys.  Way deep down in our brains, underlying the whole "porn addiction" thing, is an evolved, biological, imperative to "make more monkeys."  I won't bore you with the long story, but porn addiction is possible, and only possible, because the sex drive is hard wired, in the brain, in every, single, primate, including us. 

I like the hard 90 because it helps people embrace the impossible thought, for an addict, which is: I can live without this.  But, know, during that 70 days, which is impressive, you trained your brain to live without it every day.  The addict uses every day, multiple times a day. Think of quitting as training, as exercise, as pushing yourself more a little bit every day. The purpose of the exercise is not perfection, which, my friend, you will not achieve; the purpose of the exercise is to take off your chains. Once your chains are off, you are not perfect.  You are just an imperfect monkey with no chains.  That monkey, an unchained monkey, he is a wolf among sheep.  Whatever he wants to do now, he is far more likely to do, than he was wearing his chains. 

Stand up. Wipe the dust off.  Look it straight in the eye. Go again.  Move forward.  Do it.


4
Porn Addiction / Re: Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.
« on: February 12, 2019, 03:10:07 PM »
We have come from an "addicted to X" model, whatever X is, to the X does not matter so much, and  what we are addicted to is what X triggers, a dopamine pleasure response, regardless of X.  Sure, each addiction trigger, your X, my X, her X, may be different, but what all addicts are addicted to is the brain reaction the trigger leads to.  This is an interview with Judith Grisel, whom I love, who has her PhD in Neuropsychology AND is an addict (recovering), so she both can discuss the problem from a neurological perspective (and that is the ONLY perspective that explains addiction--forget your mommy and daddy problems), and she knows what we have all felt, because she has felt it.


Click on the link, and once open, go down and click on "listen".  Remember, while we currently define our addictons as X, X is only the trigger, the thing we are addicted to is the underlying brain event, the doamine event, regarless of X. 


https://www.npr.org/books/authors/693817367/judith-grisel

5
Porn Addiction / Re: What habits have you picked up to replace Porn?
« on: February 07, 2019, 09:59:08 PM »
Exercise helps.  Reading helps.  Study helps.  But the key to quitting porn is not replacing it, it is learning to live without it.  Quitting porn is about giving something up.  It is not about replacing it.  Eventually you will quit missing it or wanting it.  It just takes time.  Chin up and carry on.   The English way.

6
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 31, 2019, 08:35:13 AM »
Final day of challenge.  31 clear.  As long as you eat your spinach, it is all going to be OK.   

7
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 30, 2019, 08:31:06 AM »
We quit porn for one reason, we quit addiction for one reason:  It caused a problem.  When quitting, it is helpful to remember the problem we are fixing.  30.  Clear.

8
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 29, 2019, 08:43:03 AM »
28 +29.  Yesterday, posting here just did not occur to me, as in the thought did not pass my mind.  I have been clean for a lot longer than 29 days.  It takes a lot of concentration, effort, and commitment to get clean, once addicted, but once you achieve clean, then staying clean becomes second nature.  It is about changing life patterns.

9
Porn Addiction / Re: reboot
« on: January 28, 2019, 07:31:00 AM »
Some call it anorgasmia, some call it delayed ejaculation.  I hate both terms.  It is inability to cum during sex, but total ability to cum using porn.
 You have "sensitized" you brain to prefer reaching O with porn over reaching O with sex.  It happens.  You need to start studying the basics, and one of the most basic concepts to comprehend is that if porn caused no problems in our lives, we would not quit it.  If you want to reach O with sex, you are going to have to desensitize to porn and re-sensitize to sex, which, translates:  no more porn.  That is going to suck for you my friend, but that is the answer to your question.  The point of the exercise is to retrain your brain to give a neuorological reward for sex that you have trained it to give with porn.  Yep.  You trained yourself to get it that way.  Not consciously, but, you did.  Time to get conscious. 

10
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 27, 2019, 09:15:33 AM »
I am with Mr. Panic.  Clear 27.

11
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 26, 2019, 04:45:44 PM »
26. Clear.

12
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 25, 2019, 08:49:30 AM »
25.  Clear. 

13
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 24, 2019, 06:52:36 AM »
Sometimes we just have to leave.  The purpose of this place is to fix it; fixing it does not take forever.  Fixing it sucks, but pain is the price we pay for freedom. I am grateful for Gabe because he built a place to fix it.  Changemylife helped us by starting this.  He is walking his road; we are walking ours.  Those roads are always challenging.  I will finish this month clear.  24.  Clear. Never going back.


14
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 23, 2019, 01:16:23 PM »
23.  Clear.

15
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 22, 2019, 08:05:06 AM »
22 clear.  XFL91 asked about morning wood.  It is an interesting phenomena in connection with porn addiction.  When I was using porn, never.  Now, without porn, almost every morning. There is a neurological explanation, but I do not know what it is. Back tomorrow to report 23 clear.  Post often.  It helped me, it will help you. Smiley face emodicon.  But seriously, yeah.

16
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 21, 2019, 08:37:04 AM »
21.  Clear. 

17
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 20, 2019, 09:49:50 AM »
2.  2/3 through this challenge. Clear.

18
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 19, 2019, 11:38:47 AM »
19. Clear.  I am a slave to nothing.

19
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 18, 2019, 09:24:52 AM »
18. No porn. 

20
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 17, 2019, 08:44:27 AM »
17.  Clear.

21
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 15, 2019, 08:26:24 AM »
15.  This is about introducing a new pattern into our lives.  The new pattern is not using porn, artificial sexual stimulation, to achieve a dopamine high. Do I miss it?  Sure, but less and less.  Clear.

22
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 02:28:24 PM »
14. Clear.  No porn. 

23
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 05:59:01 AM »
14.  Clear.

24
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 13, 2019, 08:36:04 AM »
Rich.  Excellent at 41.  Me?  13 of 30, free for life.  No porn. Clear. 

25
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 12, 2019, 06:56:06 AM »
12.  No porn.  Clear.

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