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Messages - Marco60

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Success Stories / Re: The first success
« on: February 12, 2019, 10:22:29 AM »
Almost one year after the first significant success I feel the moral duty to post a short update.
Many things happened to me during the pas eleven months, and not all of them are pleasant.

I am now 58 y.o. On May 5th, past year, I suffered a heart attack. I realized almost immediately what it was, and this circumstance has allowed me to minimize the damages to my heart to a minimum, doctor said. Yet, I spent 28 days in the hospital, and I have now two "stents" implanted in my coronary arteries.
Almost immediately M.D.s reassured me that this unhappy event would have not had a significant impact on a reasonable sexual activity, and many months after I can confirm that they were right. The first weeks after I came back home I was not having any sexual intercourse: I was indeed too worried about myself and very cautious also about any sort of physical activity. Today I feel much more confident with myself, and I have a normal and very satisfying sexual life. In fact, about one month ago I met a woman who is now my girlfriend, and these are the good news (for me, of course). It was since I divorced, ten years ago, that I missed a complete relationship which is not just based on physical attraction, but where instead sex is so beautiful because based on mutual love.
The only problem I have is the lack of ejaculation. I have normal erections, lasting long and without the help of any drugs (I never used anyhow, even before the heart attack...): yet I can not have the happy end. My gf does not seems worried because of this, and I decided to wait and see. Maybe I should instead try to do something about it?

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: May 04, 2018, 03:00:44 AM »
Day 126 Things go as usual, and I start to date a woman of my age, quite attractive. We had no sex yet, obviously, but now that I feel more confident in myself I can concentrate easily on the emotional contents of a relationship. And this is a great step forward for me  :) .
Also, since few weeks I finally sleep much better, and this is I think also a positive side effect of the regained confidence in my sexual capacity: I feel no more anxious about it  :) .

Ages 40 and up / Re: Deadcat's Journal (Age 44)
« on: May 02, 2018, 03:49:59 AM »
Congratulations  :) ! Now you start to see the results  :) ! It takes patience, but at the very end the results arrive. I am very happy for you and your spouse, DC  :)!

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: May 01, 2018, 05:58:47 AM »
Day 122 Two days ago I had two more full sexual intercourses with the same friend of mine who came to find me (she lives in another town, took a short holiday). I can then say now that I am confident in my regained sexual capacity. Since the beginning of reboot I have not only suppressed PMO, but also MO without P, and now it is sufficient for me the intimacy with a normal, real woman to get excited and hard. It is already the fourth time since the first time (day 63) that I do this, although not regularly because I still do not have a partner/girlfriend. But at least now  can look for a partner without being anxious about myself.  :)
This does not mean that I have no problems  ;) : it took me 90 minutes and a lot of hugs after the first O to get again hard. But after all I am 58 yo., and a decrease in my sexual capacities is natural.

Success Stories / Re: The first success
« on: May 01, 2018, 04:30:28 AM »
I am happy to confirm that I had again sex two days ago, day 117 after the beginning of reboot, thus I now feel more and more confident in my ability to have a complete relationship  :) . I had a very long and heavy PIED until the end of the past year, and now that I had many normal intercourses and thus I can regard myself on the very good path I discover that I have some problems: for instance after the first orgasm it takes me a long time , more than 90 minutes, before I again get hard. However I am 58 yo.! A lower level of sexual activity is a natural side effect at my age. However, now I can confidently start again looking for a stable relationship  :) , the black times have gone.

The bottom line is then: YES, reboot works  :D ! In any case it definitely improves sexual ability. Once the virtual porn has been erased from our brains we are up and ready again to be normal human beings  :) .

Ages 40 and up / Re: Diary of a 60 year old virgin
« on: April 27, 2018, 04:56:17 AM »
But my situation is different than everyone else's on here. 
.... I have a religious conviction to not have pre-marital
sex which I probably should put in the past.  I mean I probably should just pay a prostitute or something.

(I cannot believe I just wrote that.)
I tried to figure out your options before writing these few lines, JC. But first of all let me say that I do not see anything wrong with women choosing to do sex as their job.

However, you write something contradictory, which reflects I think your inner conflict between  the desire of having a very common human experience (sex) and your moral beliefs. I write "moral" and not "religious" as you do because the condemnation of extra-marital sex as a sin is something very recent in the Christian community. It dates back to counter-Reform, thus the XVI century, but all the previous centuries of history of Christianism witnessed a different attitude, much more elastic. The equation sex=sin is highly questionable, even from a Christian (not to say Catholic) perspective.

I see another risk for a virgin who decides to have sex: failure. PIED, lack of experience, moral prejudices and age could all conspire negatively, and result in a not very satisfying first performance. The first time for me was a half fiasco (and I was 23...), and it was only the experience of my then girlfriend which helped me to do good sex the subsequent times. Thus I would suggest: first get rid of PIED, and when you will feel more confident in yourself think again about what to do. It is not nice to have bad sex the first time...

Ages 40 and up / Re: Deadcat's Journal (Age 44)
« on: April 25, 2018, 07:32:33 AM »
Day 92 w/o Porn

Last night was good.  Not as many erections during sleep but I did feel some arousal when my wife touched me.  That's new and welcomed.  I still recognize it's time that I need.  After crossing the 90 day barrier, I'm now looking forward to 180 days.  I'm hoping that landmark brings greater healing and a healthier physical relationship with my wife.  I'll be so glad to say goodbye to my PE.  ED and PE has to be the most humiliating things a man can experience.

I will never succumb to porn's lies again.  I am also trying to avoid MOing.  I read something yesterday about Ming while limp.  That's our addiction telling us to get a fix and not our body telling us we need this.  That makes perfect sense and is the exact reason we should avoid giving in.  Our brains must learn to go without the fix that we all love so much.  I'm also trying to avoid instigating sex with my wife.  I love her so much and extremely want make proper love to her.  But I first must heal.  I'm certainly not going to turn down any offers, but I'm hoping I can heal more before my next attempt so that my performance can be more of what she deserves.

Best of luck gentlemen.  Keep up the good fight.
DC, I followed the last pages of your journal, from the dramatic day 88 until the last ones filled with hope. May I suggest that maybe you are becoming too anxious? Ok, the problem is there and is serious, as it is for all of us. But to me it helped sometimes to concentrate on other things: job, hobbies, my family and not for few days, but for weeks. During these weeks I did not come back here, because also writing every single day in the journal is an acquired habit which put me on a passive contemplation rather than an exercise to learn from other people's experience. Just try to give up for a couple of weeks, do not check your progresses every single nights. Relax for a while.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« on: April 25, 2018, 01:57:15 AM »
You are on the good path Tom : do not give up! NEVER  :) !

Ages 40 and up / Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« on: April 23, 2018, 01:30:58 AM »
Don't know if this is an improvement!

But to day was out and saw several good-looking women and userely my fantasy starts when i see them.
But to day i just saw them and cud just thing she is beautiful and it ended there.
Not going in to fantasy in my mind, is an improvement i think.

I am not sure I understand what you want to say, Tom: did you get excited when you saw a nice-looking woman, as you did when you had no PIED? This would be an improvement!

Ages 40 and up / Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« on: April 22, 2018, 01:41:47 AM »

Good one.  I might add that when we fail, we can still use that failure to be a better person and be
more likely to over-ride those problems the next time.  What I mean is each of those 10 or 20 or 30 days
without PMO is not a waste at all.  It's a chance to get to where we want to be as far as normal stimulation goes.
Absolutely true Tom! I only can add that indeed reboot works: I have almost forgotten the porn videos I used o see every day , and when I have fantasies (often early morning, before I stand up), I imagine real situations with women I have been with, rather than those videos, something which I would had not believed before starting reboot.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« on: April 21, 2018, 10:42:22 AM »
Am I supposed to start counting from zero now?

I would do so, Tom. If you saw the video about the theory underlying reboot, the idea is to break the release of Dopamine stimulated by porn, force the hypothalamus to forget about the artificial stimulation by letting our brain to forget about porn. This would allow the brain to learn again about "normal" erotic stimulation through seduction etc.  Thus we all should really forget anything coming from videos etc. Obviously, we are surrounded by erotic images in advertisements etc., and those we can not avoid to be exposed to.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: April 20, 2018, 02:10:16 AM »
Hi Marco60
Folowing you will help me i am 52y and i am married but i feel the same in many ways! I am impressed for the strangnes you shove!
I have the same question even do i am only restarting at day 1 when will there be a good time to test the it...
Cudos to you....
Hi Totte: the only thing I can tell you is BE STRONG, because you only can get positive results  :)! I have now more than doubled the 53 days of reboot when I wrote the report you quote, and had no PMO at all during these 112 days. As I wrote many times I had no urges to PMO for the whole period, and very soon (3 days after having started the reboot) I had my first Morning Wood, which now are going on regularly. Later on I also had sex with 3 friends in the same night, and an even better session another day later. I continue to be single but I am looking for a girlfriend, also because I feel confident about myself.

Thus my encouragement to you and everybody is: GO ON, the results will certainly come  :) !

Some people write that just a moderate MO without P during reboot is not prejudicial of a good final result after (more or less) 90 days. I can only say: I do not know, I decided to go the hard way because my penis had become insensitive to any stimulation different from my own during M. Now when I get the soft hand of a woman on it I immediately get hard.

I think everybody by now understands that I regard sex as a healthy physiological activity per se: definitely I do not see sex without love as a sin. I did sex with friends with whom I had no emotional implications to test the effectiveness of reboot, and it gave me confidence. Had I had a supportive girlfriend next to me I would not have tried to lay with three friends in one night, but I am not as lucky as you guys who have your spouses besides you.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: April 18, 2018, 03:15:33 AM »
You guys are so worried about having sex with a woman right away, maybe you should try to get to know them first. Develop a relationship, if that relationship leads to intimacy great, way to much pressure if all you are worried about is sex and performing.
Unfortunately things are not always that easy, SH2. When I started my hard reboot early this year I came out of four consecutive nights where I could not reach erection with my then gf, with whom I had a deep intimacy since many months. This is why now I am concerned about my sexual ability before meeting a woman I like. Women say that sex is not that important for them, but they lie: they want to have good sex...

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: April 16, 2018, 04:23:13 AM »
Day 108 Yesterday evening I had the first date with a woman I was chatting with since a couple of weeks. The evening was fantastic: we met to know each other and to have some talk during  dinner. No sex, I obviously neither tried, but I could finally verify that my libido seems to be back  :) , under the normal, healthy circumstances of a courtship. I slowly feel every day more confident, although I am continuing along my reboot path, despite the good results obtained until now.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: April 09, 2018, 07:15:44 AM »
Thank yoy for your comments, A48 and JD! And no, I do not feel completely reboot-ed . As I just wrote, my libido is not yet fully back. However, tomorrow I will turn 58, and it could perfectly be that I already am in a phase of declining sexual capacity.
I agree with you, A48: everybody's path is different, and 90 days is just a rather generic prescription. And I agree with JC about very young women (which for me means in their 30s'), when one wakes up in the morning having a too young girl next what can one talk about? There are ladies my age who are also very physically fit. But you know which is the problem of mature ladies? Most of those who are single in my age are not used to live in a partnership. After a woman lives alone for many years she finds out that she prefers to be alone, and maybe have some flirts with younger men from time to time. Not all of them, but many: at least the few I met.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: April 09, 2018, 07:03:49 AM »
Day 101 The past week I had the visit of this friend of mine: she made clear since the begining that she wanted just have a week of holidays without sex. It was ok for me, she slept in the guest room. Eventually she left, and this morning I had some fantasies in my dreams and I had an erection (nothing instead while she was around). The good thing is that I feel my libido arising again: while I was around in some touristic places with my friend I started finally to notice a clear interest towards beautiful women in their forties. It is the first time I notice an increase of my libido since ages. Another sign of improvement, although slowly.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Looking for some advice
« on: April 02, 2018, 06:41:05 AM »
 :) It looks like a very positive progress Papa! You are lucky having a lovely wife!

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: March 31, 2018, 02:07:34 AM »
Thank you for your support, MM1 and Seneca! You are right, Seneca, this re-acquired self-confidence can be conducive to relapse. But in my particular case I think the risk is not relapsing to PMO, because I feel more excited at the idea of real sex: instead it is the tendency to compulsively check the blogs, news, etc. which also contributes to the dopamine cycle . I am aware of this.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: March 30, 2018, 02:31:05 AM »
Day 91 I have eventually crossed the border of 90 days without PMO  :) . Some people here prefer not to call it hard reboot because I had four successful sexual intercourses around days 63 and 74, but to me what matters is the result, i.e. I regard those intercourses as signs of healing from PIED. I do not feel completely recovered, however, and indeed I continue without any particular struggle with the no-PMO strategy.

The incoming week a friend of mine will come to visit me: she looks for some sun and holidays, but I will be working. Last time we met was a couple of years ago in Prague: we slept in the same bed but she did not want to have sex, and I respected her will. Now she made me understand of being ready and willing: we will see, in any case I feel ready from a purely physiological point of view.

Last night I had a very good sleep, and I woke up dreaming of having sex with my last gf, the one who left me after four no-sex nights over new year (due to my PIED). It was a beautiful, desperate dream, I know I will not see her anymore. Yet I woke up very hard, this time was not just the usual MW.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Looking for some advice
« on: March 28, 2018, 04:22:48 PM »
Papa: it would be better if you keep strong and continue avoiding P. I believe the theory which motivates reboot: P can re-activate the dopamine circle and stimulate the memory of the PMO experiences you had before. It is the visual stimulation without real sex what harms our ability to do sex.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: March 28, 2018, 04:16:03 PM »
Maybe I also misunderstood, Papa: I was convinced that hard reboot means 90 days without PMO or any of the three. However, which is the final target of any reboot? For me is to recover the ability to do sex. This is and always has been my main motivation. Thus, even if the recipe says also "no sex" in addition to "no PMO", I do not regret of having performed sex before the end of the 90 days.
Seneca: you are right: nothing to blame for some honest sex between two adults! And indeed I already have had before a couple of nights "no strings" few weeks ago. But now that I feel better I look for a reliable relationship.
Thank you to both of you for following my journal!

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: March 27, 2018, 07:16:45 AM »
Day 88 Two days only before the target of the 90 days hard reboot  :) , and everything goes fine. I have been very busy with work during the past week, had no time to think about anything emotional. Since few weeks I see some interest from a young colleague. She is very nice, not incredibly beautiful in face but otherwise very fit. Although all the signs I collected until now look positive, I still have a little fear of failing, and if this happens with a colleague it would be a catastrophic event: I can not stand the idea of a gossip about me here at the working place. I do not understand why I get this interest from girls 20 years younger than me. Maybe single girls in their 30s feel attracted by mature men. Yet, I think a relationship with any of them will not work in the long run.

Ages 40 and up / Re: Deadcat's Journal (Age 44)
« on: March 25, 2018, 04:35:47 AM »
I can only encourage you, Deadcat: I am much older than you (57), and I can tell you that hard reboot WORKED for me. Thus do not give up! You can not see right now, but be sure that it will work.

Ages 40 and up / Re: 57yo
« on: March 23, 2018, 03:42:10 AM »
Day 84 Yesterday I could finally check that my libido is increasing  :) . I was sitting next to a woman at the theater, and I could verify that she was somewhat attracted by me. When I realized her interest I started to feel well, my libido arose me again. This time was something durable: it lasted at least 30 minutes. As for the rest, MWs are as usual, long lasting and regular. I am not searching for a relationship but met a lady on OK Cupid and since one week we are chatting - not sexually explicit contents, just mutual signs of interests, very nice.

Ages 40 and up / Re: I think I have a problem
« on: March 23, 2018, 03:34:43 AM »
I'm almost 365 days PMO-free, not counting this blip and the other sex chatting things I've mentioned.

That's good, but I've just fucked something up in real life that I think is sort of related to PMO in the sense of avoiding real relationships and intimacy. ....
Just a short presentation: I posted my recovery story here too and in the "Success stories" section, you should know that I am quite old (57 yo) and I think I recovered enough in 63 days.
Now: 365 days PMO-free is a GREAT success, I think! CONGRATULATIONS  :) !! Yet, I do not understand your comments: you mean that in order to stick to the reboot prescription you continue to avoid intimacy ?
I can tell you my own experience. I was totally destroyed by PIED when I started reboot, on December 30th past year. At day 63 of hard reboot I decided to try to have a sexual intercourse, and that night I had not one but three.  Then another one day 72, thus I am  reasonably confident that reboot worked well. I did because I wanted to test myself, and indeed the tests were successful. Why you do not try too? The worst could happen is that the test will not work, but after 365 days if this happens at least you will know that you need to do more reboot. I think it is better to know than living long time in the uncertainty.

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