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Messages - mario_italy_82

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Ages 30-39 / Re: This is first day of rest of your life
« on: December 07, 2017, 06:47:06 PM »
DAY:5
07.12.17

Well, today wasn't my best day in work, I wasn't doing everything just not the right things, procrastination I could use this word for my today attitude. I'm chatting with a some girl I met on Tinder before I deleted Tinder and other dating apps, the girl I'm talking about it the trigger who made me abandon porn, the girl with whom I get PIED. As I mentioned, we were chatting a little today and it was a real arousal for me and we will meet tomorrow she will drive to my place and we're planning spend night together, I'm little bit afraid if my dick will be working properly but I hope I don't fail on Friday night ;)

What else I could say I still don't feel any hard urges for watching porn, but I must admit I guard myself quite good, still trying to be occupied all the time, for example I cleaned whole house today, I was cleaning like a crazy for three hours. I've a lot energy too. I was feeling lonely very much today, thinking about my previous girlfriend and about that how crazy women are in their no straight verbal ways of communication. How hard is to get to know what a girl really things, sometimes I'm wondering if all these females are psycho girls from mems, without ability to pass information in straight manner without all these crazy games men should understand.

Weekend is coming a hard candy for me, weekend are tough cause I need to plan them very carefully cause I don't want ot fall into boredom abyss, I plan to work a little bit on Saturday, but it depends how long the girl I mentioned stay on Saturday in my place, at the evening I'll to the club alone but I need to make some changes in my life and try to catch up girls in real places not artificial like Tinder, Sunday hmm need to think about it more...






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Ages 30-39 / Re: This is first day of rest of your life
« on: December 06, 2017, 05:14:31 PM »
DAY: 4
06.12.18

Well, today is also OK, not much urges to watch porn, but the real problem as Underdog mentioned in his post: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/my-thoughts-on-rebooting-extremely-long-post.15558 is not porn alone, but how we manage our emotion, especially the bad ones, the craving for watching porn is very similar to other drugs or methods to alienate ourselves from reality. I could use drugs alcohol, junk food or sth else only to beat boredom, anxiety, problems in my life general. I believe I need to find more constructive ways to mange my emotions, but first things first as anonymous alcoholics said, first I need to stop watching porn and thus get back my sexual confidence with girls and fix connections in my mind -> all this stuff related with dopamine secretion.

Same time as Underdog said I need to reconsider priorities in my life which are not watching porn all the time but finding girl and fall in love, get better job etc. but urgency is the key I started four days ago and I wish myself to have enough energy, will power and attitude to imlement all those things in my real life not in fantasies ;)

3
Ages 30-39 / Re: This is first day of rest of your life
« on: December 05, 2017, 03:28:00 PM »
DAY: 3
05.12.17

Today was also a very good day. the girl I met yesterday on the company's party came to our office today. She stayed for a one day in my city, before going back to her city. Today I was perceived as a great dancer and confident man who manage to invite a girl from a party to work remotely in ours local office.

Third day I'm trying to be occupied all the time, I've a lot of energy even I was sleeping only for a few hours today. I'm a little bit scary if my next attempt with a girl will end up with erection dysfunction, and this next attempt seems to be at the next weekend. I sign up for a dance course, another regular activity which will help me to stay occupied but my girl-dance-partner is a big question mark, cause I sign up alone, and dance school gave me a girl from a list ;) It will be a great opportunity to meet somebody else maybe she will be pretty who knows ...

I also bought ticket for a Friday concert, another opportunity to meet some girls, stayed occupied and rethink my party's outfit.
I'm looking for a simple but engaging TV-serie, something like "Narcos", "El ChapO" or "Punisher", feel free to pick me some titles and I also thinking about some science fiction book to read before I go to sleep ...

The next day will be great! Control only those thing you're able to control and let go other!

4
Ages 30-39 / Re: This is first day of rest of your life
« on: December 04, 2017, 09:04:16 PM »
DAY: 2
04.12.17

It was fucking great day, meaningful work, gym and integration party in my company, I was dancing like a crazy although I'm not the best dancer, but I get two mobile numbers from girls from my company, but from another department, fuck yeah! I've a lot fo energy like never before, I'm making detailed  schedule of my days, trying to be occupied all the time, trying not to give my brain any boredom. I know that if I give my brain any rest all my thinking will drift to the porn. God I'm still very ashamed that didn't have erection night before, but as Marcus Aurelius said I try to focus on things I've control, no excuses, trying to avoid any artificial sexual distractors and also fantasies. I deleted Tinder I deleted other apps, I deleted Linkedin.

I should get old Nokia with WAP, not high speed connection Internet, well this is at least worth thinking about.

5
Ages 30-39 / This is first day of rest of your life
« on: December 03, 2017, 03:14:08 PM »
DAY: 1
03.12.17

Hello guys,
at first I would like to say that English is not my native language, so I may make some mistakes but I try to avoid them.

How to start, I've read Gabe's story today, today wasn't a good day for me, I broke up with my girlfriend some time ago, I couldn't establish a new romantic relation with any other woman for a while. I was trying Tinder, and even more sex focused websites, but I must admit that it wasn't a cure for my loneliness it even makes things harder. I've been involved in never ending chats with sexual subtexts I could spent a couple of hours texting and only to kill boredom and loneliness. My porn taste also has changed dramatically, I get sexual arousal only to extreme, hard porn and there is no satisfaction at all, after ending I feel only more miserable and regrettable ...

Today I struck in the bottom I met a nice girl we go to the bed and I couldn't get erection, well I get but after putting condom I lost it immediately, what a shame I thought, at least I get some erection when girl took my penis in her hand and it was a great excuse to blame lack of erection on using condoms.

But I knew it was not a condom I feel awful, came back to home, thinking that I'm not man anymore, maybe a gay even, if a sexy girl can't make my penis hard what better explanation I could find lol It was funny but after some time I get it I'm a hard user of porn, I've started googling trying to find out if erection dysfunction could be connected to the overusing of porn and voila here I am.

Guys I'm afraid and have no idea how could I achieve only a small period of time without porn and masturbation, I masturbate and watch hard porn for years, even in toilet in my work porn is like a drug for my bad mood, for boredom, etc.

Ech, but at least I've read some articles on how dopamine in my brain works watched videos by Gabe, trying to establish some plan for next days, stay occupied, plan whole day to avoid being lonely, I'm preparing my daily schedule. That's all guys.

Keep in touch -> ha ha does that phrase in this context doesn't seem to be funny ;)

Mario

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