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Messages - Quentin838

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Ages 40 and up / Closing in on 3 weeks
« on: August 01, 2014, 05:06:26 PM »
This coming Sunday will be three weeks in. I've tried to be an observer of, rather than a participant in what my body and brain are going through, but I realize this isn't some freshman psychology class. I have to be fully in the process. This week my head hurt, I had to give my iPad to a friend for a few days, and the urges came in waves. I started looking for any image that would fire me up and move me to get off. I didn't find anything, but damn, I am amazed how strong the need can be. In my current frame of mind, any down time would be fatal so I'm glad to be going away for the weekend.
Anyone see the article in The Daily Beast today about this guy Tim Ferriss who has challenged American men to stop masturbating and drinking for 30 days? Interesting article. I've never heard of him, but I'd be interested to know if anyone out there has come across this guy and what their opinion is of him.
Thanks to everyone for just putting it out there and sharing our common experience. It's good to not be alone.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Hello out there
« on: July 20, 2014, 05:59:14 PM »
Ok. 7 days in. Not easy, not fun. Weekends are going to be a challenge. Down time is danger time for me. I generally try not schedule things on Sundays as I like to use the day to relax, read and gear up for the week ahead. Today I took three walks around the block (this after taking a crossfit class in the morning). The minute I don't have a task in front of me however, my mind and my hand began wandering. It was probably not the best time to continue to clean out my Inbox of the sites that send me ads and notices, but I wanted to get it over with.  One of the sites was featuring a scene between two men I have always thought were really hot. The minute I saw it, my entire body lurched forward. My heart was pounding very fast. I couldn't hit the unsubscribe button fast enough despite what my brain was screaming for me to do. I was pretty roughed up after that experience and I began to really understand this is a lot more than I imagined. I know the work week will be better.
Thanks to the guys who have replied to my previous posts. I appreciate the insights and today for the first time, I began to fully understand the value of your struggles and successes. I'm with you.
By the way, if anyone is interested in taking me on I am making a request for an accountability partner. Must work weekends......

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Hello out there
« on: July 18, 2014, 11:48:16 PM »
Thank you. So here it is 12:30 am and  I just woke up so crazed about getting off, I had to get up and walk around the house, breathing and trying to shake it off ( no pun intended). This is insane. I want to get online and have a marathon night of watching all the new scenes posted to my favorite free sites in the last week. Decided to let off a little steam here and pick up a book instead. This is my first really intense physical craving and wow, having one of these at this time of night is tough.
The breathing helps and I'll try reading for awhile with the tv on. If I see one damn commercial for P90x or Insanity with some ripped guy lifting weights, I'm gonna lose it. LOL.

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Ages 40 and up / Hello out there
« on: July 18, 2014, 05:24:33 PM »
This is my first journal entry. The basics: 59 years old, gay, living in Pennsylvania, good job, lots of interests, great group of friends....all of which have been suffering from my addiction to porn. I stumbled across YBOP last Sunday after spending 4 hours "orgasm shopping" as I refer to it when I go trolling for a scene that excites me enough to get off. I have been experiencing PIED for about six months. The New Year was about the time my porn addiction really kicked into high gear. My viewing time per day jumped from an hour or so to setting my alarm very early so I'd have at least two hours of viewing time in the morning. Evenings brought sessions of 4+ hours. I began cancelling plans to stay home and watch porn and last weekend was the lowest point when I had an 8 hour session that left me depressed and terrified I had finally lost control of my life.
My first experience with YBOP frightened me as it made it clear from the experiences of others this was not going to be a simple process. I tossed my DVD collection, unsubscribed from the sites that sent me endless new porn and took the immediate advice of someone from this site to put as much distance between my computer and myself as possible.
So since Sunday I have been "hands off". No libido, but once or twice this week I had to put my head between my knees and breathe deep and long to kill the urge.
I am committed to beat this and grateful for the insights others have shared on this site. Thanks.


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