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Messages - eliterexor

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1
Ages 20-29 / A Knight who want to defeat the Devil within
« on: October 06, 2017, 01:24:40 AM »
So this is my reboot version 2. I can't find my old post btw sorry. 8 years of slavery from PMO is really a bad experience, not just for me but for all of us. Today is the Day 0. It's time to defeat the monsters that are inside in our soul. This is really a rough and hard journey. No PMO is just 25% of our training but the 75% will be gain for our hardwork, sacrifice and determination. I already lost everything, now this journey is not about rebooting, but it is also about finding the reason and meaning of life and what are we standing for. Time to have Courage. There is fear but I'm willing to die!!! Let the journey begin.

2
Porn Addiction / What you see is it harmful?
« on: October 06, 2017, 01:15:03 AM »
I'm now at a reboot for a few months now. Is looking at a woman's chest is harmful for our reboot? Because sometimes if you can't control it, it can lead to fantasizing. And what should we do to stop thinking about their chest or looking it. I know this is rude but I think this is important to be answered. Women are not things but our lizard caveman brain is easily tempted especially the demon's insides us really want it. How to stop and prevent this cancer in our mind?

3
Hello, I am now 20 years old,a fellow victim of PMO slavery. Chained by this addiction in almost 8 years. I don't want to quit for the sake of others and due to the consequences of my mistakes BUT because I want to change my life, my lifestyle, my freaking whole soul. I started PMO when I am in my elementary years when my classmates and schoolmates watching P and I totally hooked. I become a numb, I lost interest in all things. I always think about myself only. I let my studies fall, my life fall and myself fall now I'm totally broke as hell. I'd post a topic in TEEN section because I made a mistake, the biggest mistake of my whole life. Because of PMO I always crave to have a CS, now I got a shamed and my life become totally Miserable. The effects of PMO really made me a negative person, and I already lost my last hope. I know I can't change the past but I'll shouldn't let my past ruin my future. Now this is the time to change my life, my lifestyle and my soul. I know this journey is not easy as cake but it doesn't have a finish line, it's all about how long can we take to achieve our goal, to become a PMO free. Let the struggle begins!

4
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 14, 2017, 09:06:19 AM »
Day 38 of No MO
Day 1 of No P

Still planning and meditating what should I gonna do to my life. I gonna read the Ebook EasyPeasy and I gonna try 3 Months what will happen to me. I'll update my journal after that. Thank you everyone especially rebootnation. Keep fighting!

5
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 12, 2017, 06:08:36 PM »
Day 36

Today, I was defeated by the devil. The Feeling of unworthiness and agoraphobia makes me want to isolate. I am alone in my home. Now I am tempted to watch porn. I go to the like and load some few videos but when I played the first video I load and I'm ready to fap, but suddenly it blackout. After that, I realized what I'd done today. I really just abstaining not doing recovery for myself. Even to I didn't MO but I was still defeat because I go to the site to watch P. My bad. Gonna go back to Day 1 tomorrow and gonna do some changes. Failures are one of the teachers in life.

6
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 09, 2017, 09:06:48 AM »
Day 33

First of All, sorry guys for a late update of my journal, seems the earthquake in my country (PH) really affected our place. (total black out and the other province got really rekt). I hope those people who really affected by the natural disaster is fine. Well yesterday and today is really a craving day to go back to PMO. Since I saw the picture of the girl who rejected me (she really wear a sexy dress) damn I got tempted. This lizard brain of mine is so dangerous. Plus no electricity, i'm doing nothing. And a free mind is easily tempted by the devil to think about desires. When the electricity back, I don't know what my hands doing. Like an auto type to a porn site. DAAAAAAMMNNN DISAAASSTAAAAAA!!!!!. But when I open the site I realize something, why I gonna waste my life again in this addiction and it's okay to be rejected by a girl because all i want of her is her body I don't have feelings for her. So ERP on YBOP is really hard but if your conscience is working and your purpose of quiting porn is big enough, you don't want to watch to porn even the urge is really strong. Time to develop more the sober trait. Sorry if my journal is not organize. I'm still developing that too. Thanks everyone. Keep up the struggle and be stronger than yesterday!

7
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 05, 2017, 10:10:47 AM »
Day 29
It feels so good that you tell someone what you really feels inside. Even though I didn't tell directly my problem, at least the hard times was enough. 29 days of rebooting, I become thirst of Self development. I saw the beautiful girl that I met on last month, I want to talk to her but I'm thinking that I have a lot of important stuff to do than talking someone who really doesn't care about me. Should gonna use the limited time for those precious on our life. Good Day!

8
Porn Addiction / Re: differences in guys not effected?
« on: July 05, 2017, 10:03:14 AM »
 I also talk that to my close friend, he always watch porn and fap... I tell him that he can't easily find a girl if he won't stop PMO. He just laughed at me and telling me that porn can't affect your life. ( He got rejected by his crush for unknown reason but his crush had already a bf but the real thing is he is more handsome and good than his crush bf). They will noticed it but not so easily .Those people really  don't know that they are already affected because they don't have a knowledge about the effects of PMO.

9
Porn Addiction / Re: Any asian guy here successfully rebooted?
« on: July 05, 2017, 09:57:47 AM »
Asian? All People who lived on Asia Continent or Near the land of the Rising sun  (China, Korea, Japan)?
I am an Asian too, I can't say that I'm success on my reboot. I am still not even halfway through.  It is a hard and a long journey.

10
Porn Addiction / Re: The right mindset to succeed.
« on: July 05, 2017, 09:54:39 AM »
I like this post. Is this your first time trying to quit?
The right mindset and enthusiasm are very important.

I think succeeding is a combination of things, being ready to stop, wanting to stop, failing and learning from your mistakes, getting as much knowledge as you can and having goals and motivation to succeed.

Yeah, failures and mistakes is a progress for succeeding but if you do it intentionally, you are now lying to yourself. We really need to make our life to do reboot Mentally, Emotionally and Physically Prepared.

11
Teens / Re: I need help
« on: July 05, 2017, 09:47:47 AM »
You need first to find what is your real reason why you want to stop PMO. I admit that finding the WHY is really hard to find but just keep meditating. Then find new goals and do new good habits. Think about the people who cares about you. I now it is really hard but always remember you are not alone. We can do it.

12
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 04, 2017, 10:05:12 AM »
Day 28

I didn't PMO today but I have a struggle with myself. Temptation is real! It's really hard to sober those beautiful girls. But I'm thankful for the librarian to scold at me (because I touch the library computer, I just want to know their domain hahaha) it gives me motivation to sober those things (sexual imagination and those beautiful schoolmates) even though I was ashamed of my mistakes. Atleast I become a risk taker, that I never done in my whole life because I'm always in defensive. 10/10 gonna do some stuff that doesn't in my comfort zone (But those good things now, Mistakes are one of the best teachers in life). I'm still trying to rise up myself because of these withdrawal effects that I'm still suffering.

I know it is hard but we should not do this for ourself but for the People who love us! Keep Moving Forward!

13
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 03, 2017, 10:22:17 AM »
Day 27

It feels so good man even though I'm still in the journey of pain and depression because of the withdrawal. I really need to develop my communication skills and find reasons to fight and to live more. I don't have nothing to say more for today.

14
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: July 01, 2017, 10:03:01 AM »
Day 25
Hello Everyone!!!
25 Days without porn is great!, But I'm having a craving to watch porn,but thanks for my friends who accompany me to go with them to carnival. Why I'm craving? I just read a magazine that talks about how to fight sexual harassment. I didn't expect that it would wake up my cravings. 10/10 not to read any porn/sexual related books. It makes my recovery become slower. Damn, I don't even have reasons and motivation. It is really hard fight and long journey to struggle. I know we can do it, not for ourselves but for the people who cares about us.

15
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 30, 2017, 10:41:20 AM »
Day 24
Hello Everyone!!!
May I ask if no motivation is still part of the PMO withdrawal symptoms? It's been two days that I don't have the strength to do some works and no motivation at all. I didn't PMO but maybe because of anxiety makes me no energy. I just want to lay in the bed and sleep.  Nothing to work and nothing to think. I just want to sleep. I don't have enough reasons to fight  :'( :'( :'(

16
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 29, 2017, 09:16:40 AM »
Day 23
Hello Everyone!!!
No PMO for 23 days is great. Abstaining from it helps me to understand easily the lessons in our class, even if I made a mistake in solving the problem or answering the question is fine on me. I'm appreciating now the mistakes and negativity of my life. It's not about mistakes tell us how we are so unworthy but what we will gain from our mistakes. Accepting that we are not perfect and meditating what are the things we gain from our lost and failure will be our stepping stone for success. Even though I've seen a lot of beautiful girls, I'm now appreciating how beautiful they are not how sexy or what is the form of their body. But I still have the depression and anxiety when I'm alone, but I'm not tempted to go back to PMO. I gonna use this negativity to become a strong foundation of my reason to stop PMO. I already lost everything of my life, now I won't let that happen again. I know it is hard to accept the worst consequences because of my PMO and uncontrollable sex drive but accepting the effects of my mistakes helps me to become  responsible. I need to strengthen more my mental, emotional and spiritual state.
To all people who knows what I feel, we should keep fighting even though we lost everything.
While we are still breathing, we can still fight the EVIL!

17
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 28, 2017, 09:28:22 AM »
Hello Everyone!

Today is my 22th day from abstaining PMO. It's such a good feeling even though I'm still suffering anxiety and depression. Showing love to others and do what is good for them makes me happy now. I can now appreciate more on small and simple things. Maybe I saw a lot of beautiful girls at school but I'm still asking myself, "Is this FEELING is because of abstaining of PMO or because she is just beautiful?". I'm still doing some recovery, self development and doing my best shot on my life. I know this journey is so hard but knowing there are more people who are struggling this addiction gives me more reason to fight even I'm alone and no one of the people who surround me in my daily life knows my battle from the EVIL. Maybe he gonna become stronger and he will hook me again but I gonna be more stronger than him. I am a WARRIOR!

18
Porn Addiction / Re: Video games
« on: June 27, 2017, 08:59:28 AM »
When I start my Reboot, I lost also my interest in video games. But when I play video games, it makes my brain fogged also and I lost my concentration. Is video games gives dopamine like PMO does?

19
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 27, 2017, 01:42:26 AM »
Day 21
3 Weeks after my Reboot. I notice that I'm having a clearer mind, not a complete clean but still better than before. I'm still having an anxiety but Life must go on. I already accept my flaws and my imperfection. Doing the self development is great, it's not a race but it's a long journey. I am really grateful that I'm not aggressive anymore. Now I'm writing a poem for a girl that I appreciated her not just her physical but also her being herself. Having a mindset of "Maybe this is my last day, I gonna give my best shot" really helps me also to give my best. No PMO really helps me to know who I am.

20
Porn Addiction / Re: Brain Fog and resisting NoFap
« on: June 20, 2017, 08:13:26 AM »
Not just brain fog it gives to us. Also loss of concentration and loss of interest on other things.

21
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 20, 2017, 08:09:12 AM »
DAY 14
2 Weeks of no PMO but I realize I'm just abstaining not doing some recovery. I go to nofap website and meditating what is my why, why i want to stop this, but because of my meditation I become depressed again. I didn't PMO today but I just used to play video games whole day. I concluded that if I don't face the reality I'm not on the right way to recover my life again by rebooting. I got now a strong feeling of unworthy and regrets in life. I didn't see this feeling for negative but I know this feeling gonna help me to overcome and change my life. Maybe I can't change the past but I still have the chance to change my future. But still i'm so weak like carrying the world in my shoulder. Maybe I gonna need some time with myself for thinking what is my real purpose why I want to stop this addiction. I don't want to do this for myself because that's not a real purpose. Sorry my mind now is so fog because of depression and anxiety but this is different than when I'm doing PMO. Maybe this is a withdrawal symptoms.
I'm now deleting all my social network account and maybe I gonna stop also using too much on computer and cellphone.
Better to know who you are first than knowing everyone.

22
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 16, 2017, 03:13:01 AM »
You may not have depression (as a disease) at all. You may have destroyed emotional, sexual and social life. And that is really, serious reason to feel bad, man.

I have a question for you. What is that you value most in life?
If your answer is porn, than even thinking about losing it will cause serious pain. Losing it for real - even worse. This is corelated both with neurobiological base of addiction, and your emotional nature as a human being.
What you value the most become the thing that influence all other things in your life. It's like the top of the pyramid. You construct all the lower levels of your life to support the top. If the top is pathological - all of your lesser values, and personal virtues are becoming non-existent, or corrupt as well. For what I know, and experience - the best solution to this, is to put at the top something eternal, uncorruptable, nonmaterial and ideal - like God. Only then you can structure all your major and minor life goals on the path to this ideal. It doesn't matter that you will never achieve it. It doesn't matter how, and what you call it. What you act is far more important than how you describe your actions. Action is primary to all description, and this is the real thing that shape your life.

Good way to discipline yourself is to make some goals (even small ones), breake them into smaller routine actions, and do the whole thing in baby steps without forcing yourself beyond your current psychophysiologicall capability.
I'm talking about life goals beside quitting porn in a way that other goal can distract you from addiction. Make a plan and start small.
If you have trouble with social interactions, than you can for example repost to someone else's thread here on forum once a day. Even if you do it badly without any social skill whatsoever. After that you can reward yourself in some manner (snack, 30min of videogame, buy small gift to yourself) - that will reinforce good habbit.

If you are interested in art in general, than I strongly reccomend Joseph Campbell "The Hero with a Thousand Faces". This is basically C.G.Jung written in an easy manner. Or if you are interested particular in poetry - the book called "Iron John: A book about Men" by Robert Bly.

Thanks Bro, maybe the top of my pyramid is not worth to build. I need a new purpose to build again. What a motivation and illustration for meditation.

23
Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 12, 2017, 09:44:38 AM »
Day 6
    Did I use porn today? No

    What were my triggers? I notice that even a simple chat or looking at the news feed of a social networking site can give me a trigger.

    How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? Well, I still have a depression, but not just the same depression before but I am depress why I don't give the best for my family, my friends and all the people around me.

    What am I grateful for today? I am grateful for the love of my family and friends. I am also grateful for the things I have today. Having a 6 days PMO free and 2 days Social Dating Site Free is feelsgoodman.

Comments:[\b]
My sexual desire from other women is still there. How sad :(...
It's really hard to fight the mind, I'm always tempted to see the sensitive parts of the women. But the only thing I can do is to fight myself that looking for a girl just for fun is not really good. Now I am fighting to myself again. So very hard. But the positive side that I notice in my 6th day was I felt more sad why I don't appreciate the sacrifice of my family and friends in order to make me happy. I'm not numb anymore. My heart is becoming soft again and I can easily talk to strangers. I hope I can pay for those who makes me happy. I know it's priceless, but it's never to late. I gonna give them some love.

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Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 12, 2017, 09:33:10 AM »
Forgive yourself for the mistakes. We are all human.
You have a future that will be better for not using PMO.
"I admit this pmo addiction affects my connection to the people around me" - this is very true for me. Imagine a life going forward without this. Imagine just how much you will grow and what you can achieve.
Thanks bro. I also admit that PMO also affect my connection with other people especially to my family and to the people I love. I become more selfish and numb about their feelings. I am really imagining now the prize of quitting PMO. I don't know what will happen to me and what is the consequences of my mistakes but I'll fully accepting it. Growing is becoming more responsible.

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Teens / Re: Regrets in life
« on: June 10, 2017, 08:01:45 AM »
Day 4
Did I use porn today? Nope
What were my triggers? I notice that using social network can still trigger my addiction
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? I still have the depression and feeling of unworthy. But I notice that I became more concern about the feelings of other people. I really need some good time to meditate.
What am I grateful for today? I am grateful about the time with my family and those people who are important to me. I become more appreciating small things in life. Having a mindset of "Seize the day" and "Maybe this is my last day and my last shot" really helps me a lot.

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