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Messages - Marko7776

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Success Stories / Re: I did it, 14 months, finally a success story.
« on: September 20, 2015, 07:52:18 PM »
Thanks for the support

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Success Stories / I did it, 14 months, finally a success story.
« on: September 20, 2015, 11:05:00 AM »
First I want to apologize for any bad grammar. I am from Croatia.

My success story:

**Background**

Hello my name is Marko and I am almost 17 years old. When I was 9 I have discovered mastrubation while playing some internet browser sex games with my classmates. Since than I was fapping 1-2 times daily only to sensation or to some mild imagination till I was about 11 when I discovered a site with pictures of naked women and I was like WOW, but after a couple of months it became boring and like the most of us I discovered internet porn. From age 12 (when I first started using high speed internet porn) to age 16 my sexual tastes really got crazy and weird. I'd say I was not really addicted until I was 14. By then I had all the symptoms; dropped out of highschool, social anexity, serious ED, bad concentration, acne, serious DE and actual damage to my dick (needed to get circumcision). I never tought porn did it to me.

**How I found out I had a problem**
It was summer 2014. I had this amazing cute girlfriend and we were about to have sex for the first time and you can guess what happened, we started and I just lost my erection, classic story for this forum. I did some stuff with girls before, like handjobs or so and I never had ED problems(did have DE problems a long time before ED problems tho) I felt really ashamed. After she left I did what any person in my situation would do, I googled and I found YBOP. The first time I was on YBOP I felt that I know why everything that has happened to me has happened and I was actually happy, because at first I was very motivated to deal with the problem, after reading everything on YBOP (took about 8 hours). My journey began on 14.7.2014. My first streak was 45 days, the next one was 40 and then, then came the darkest time of my life. I couldn't go over 10 days for months. I was desperate, I thought of suicide a milion times, no joke. I tryed everything, k9, not using my smartphone anymore, cold showers etc etc. There were a milion tactics, and they were all good, seriously. However there  was one huge mistake that did not allow me to succed; I kept thinking about it, everything I thought about was not watching porn. I overthinkined everything and it was really bad for my reboot. I relapsed more than 100 times, after reaching anywhere from 2-10 days. When I remember all the things I tried and all the thoughts I had... I'm so happy it's over. I even had a few panic attacks during my reboot.

**How I fixed the problem**

 Then I stoped and started listening to the advice that is everywhere on this subredit; TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER. I got back to school, I found a new girlfriend(Which cheated on me 2 weeks ago and guess what, I DID NOT FAP!!!), got a new haircut, got better at the gym(am going to the gym for about 2 years now), started going out a lot, read about 50 books in these 14 months, bought new clothes and so on. I can safely say that my life changed. Today is 95 days since I last watched porn and I can say that it feels amazing.

**What changed**
I can talk to anyone, seriously my social anexity does not excist at all anymore. Morning wood is back ofcourse, so is libido and some random boners. I notice women a lot more and I feel attracted to them. I feel and look much better, guess it's just because of the confidence . Last time I had sex, about 3 weeks ago my dick worked perfectly, 100% erection and stayed a while after I came, went again after 5 min, DE also gone, my foreskin was scared due to fapping(it looked really nasty) so I got circumcised( yes I know it's good to have a forskin but my urologist told me it's the best thing to do in my case). I'm much more motivated for everything, school, gym, reading etc. Before I usually got very mad for stupid reasons and would smash things around the house and now I'm more chill. Basicaly everything improved, triggers don't get me anymore, if there is a sex scene in  a movie I can watch it with no urge to do anything that I don't want to do. So I guess I am recovered. There were times when I was really desperate and I tought I'd never do it, but I did it, I FUCKING DID IT. I actually did not know it was past 90 days until today, and I was really shocked and happy, I'm just so happy that I'm no longer a slave to those sick videos. I can't even describe this good feeling!

**My advice**

-   Seek help, don't be afraid. I went to a shrink, I told my mom, I told my friends (they're all rebooting :D)
-   Learn about this addiction, it's very imporant to understand what has happened to you, I advise you to get Fortify, it actually helped me quite much, good explanations on it. http://fortifyprogram.org/
-   Be desperate. Yes I belive it's good to feel bad sometimes, remember that feeling when you think of porn
-   Change something about your looks, buy new clothes, get a new hairstyle or something
-   Get a hobby or do some sport I think this is really imporant
-   DO NOT THINK ABOUT NOT FAPPING ALL THE TIME, DO NOT SPEND 10 HOURS A DAY ON NOFAP, REBOOT NATION, YBOP ETC.
-   https://www.youtube.com/user/TheMiro0r this helped me a lot
-   Order man1 oil. I belive it helped me a lot with my DE http://www.man1health.com/
-   Go outside, party, laugh, meet new people
-   Try to get better grades or better at your job
-   Stop worrying that you will never recover, never have sex again etc. I know how it feels, I know that disgusting feeling and I do not want to feel it ever again, but you have to beat it


Just stay hopeful and keep trying, you will do it!!!

TL;DR This is the hardest thing I did in my life, my dick works.

Special thanks to everyone who answered 10000 of my stupid questions!!!!

EDIT: I'd be really happy to help with any questions you have in the comments

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Porn Addiction / Help me
« on: June 09, 2015, 07:06:25 PM »
I started fapping when I was 9 to fantasy, high speed porn since 12-13. Now I am 16 and my dick is dead. It's not pied thats bothering me(i know i can recover in my brain) it's the actual physical damage that I'm concearned about. My dick is much darker than my body and at the foreskin there is an even darker ring filled with veins, it looks like a zombie dick, it's some kind of pigmentation or something. I saw doctors, many doctors and they all give me creams but nothing helps, I didn't find any succes storyes about this anywhere. I had it for about a year, if its possible that it can heal, it obiviously didn't because I was relapsing. I've also seen a psyhiacrist and was told "there is no such thing as porn addiction", "porn is not harmful in any way", "it's natural". I have a girlfriend which I've been lying to that I have an iritation on my dick and that I need to wait a bit. At nights I don't sleep I just cry. Suicide pops in my mind everyday. I know this sounds pathetic, but I need help, advice, anything

Thanks and sorry for bad english

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Not much longer my friend

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I don't know, but I'd stay away

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Porn Addiction / Re: Desensitized penis-brain or some skin damage?
« on: June 01, 2015, 12:20:43 PM »
From all that masturbation my penile skin started to hurt and got all red.

I have the same thing. And now it's a darker patch.. Don't know if it will ever go away...

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I can't understand why are you telling him that it's not a relapse when it's so clear that it is. It is artifical sexual stimulation, it's a relapse.

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I was taking cold showers and after that the skin looked even reder and worse. Now I started taking normal showers. Not hot or cold and it seems to be healing but I am not sure..

9
In september 2014 I was disagnosed with iritative dermatitis on my dick, it's basicly an iritation around the head of my penis, its red/darker and the skin is wrinkly, the veins are popping out. The dermatologist said it will take 2-3 months for it to heal 100% and gave me a cream, but it has been almost a year and it's still here, because I was fapping I think, anyway I made a new appointment in 2 days but I'm really panicking right now, will it ever heal?? Has anyone had a similar condotion? How long did it take to heal??

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: May 11, 2015, 08:15:22 PM »
Day 33. I relapsed. My mom was a sleep and I took her laptop and i fucked up again, i have suicidal toughts

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Teens / Re: Cured! But new issue
« on: May 11, 2015, 06:26:50 AM »
PE should go away quickly, don't worry

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: May 10, 2015, 06:11:50 PM »
Day 31. I don't think I will fap ever in my life again. Girls are noticing me and a couple of them said I look good, this has never happened before. I feel pretty good. There are some times I feel depressed but not as much as before.. I think I'm doing great. Also from today I'm cutting out all junk food to feel even better

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: May 08, 2015, 08:02:21 PM »
On day 26 I left flatline, now it's day 30 and I'm back again, pretty depressed but eh, dealing with it.. But hey I did 30 days. I was not this far for about six months. Only 60 days left to my goal. I have faith

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Teens / Re: [16 years old]DAY 95.. I RELAPSED
« on: May 05, 2015, 10:52:13 AM »
Amazing man! 95 days is a lot! Did you recover from PIED (if you had it)? Just keep going! and don't let chaser get you

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: May 04, 2015, 06:39:07 PM »
Yeah I know, thanks man and good luck to you!

Day 25 is done, I feel happy pretty much all the time except when I remmeber that I have a dead dick in my pants.. I now plan every day in the morning, I find it very helpful. I also made an appointment with a therapist in 3 weeks.. Going strong!!

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: May 01, 2015, 06:07:02 PM »
Thanks man, thats how I was when I relapsed too. I'm still pretty depressed, yesterday some friends talked about porn and it felt like a relapse even tho its not, I just felt like shit, my morning wood si gone so the flatline is even worse now.

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: April 29, 2015, 06:26:17 PM »
Amazing day today! Felt good most of the time! I'm in a deep flatline, nothing gives me a boner except morning wood, good to know that little fella is still alive! Going strong, day 20 done. For the first time I have faith in myself

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: April 27, 2015, 04:51:11 PM »
Today I went shopping for some chlotes, saw many triggers but always turned me head.. I also had a talk about this with my mom, this time she was more supportive than the last time we talked about it, im still depressed

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Teens / Re: Does this fall under 'relapse'?
« on: April 27, 2015, 04:47:08 PM »
No, but its suggested to avoid orgasm for a peroid of time as it is wired to porn in your brain.

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: April 26, 2015, 06:26:47 PM »
Today was an ok day. I went to see a football game with my friends and I didn't think about my problem too much. I am definetly in a flatline.. I am very tired. Still have morning wood tho.
Day 17 done

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Success Stories / Re: 14 day report.
« on: April 26, 2015, 05:59:03 PM »
Of course you'll get better, why wouldnt you??

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: April 25, 2015, 08:44:26 AM »
Day 16: definetly in a flatline, have morning wood but no life later during the day, I'm still a bit depressed but much better.. Yesterday I had some crazy fantasy popping up. Can't say the same for today

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Success Stories / 14 day report.
« on: April 23, 2015, 05:01:31 AM »
I know it seems funny, to post a 14 day report, but for me it's great progress because for the last 7 months I couldn't go over 5 days.
A little background
I'm 16, started fapping at 9 to real girls at about 11 I progressed to nude pictures, then at 13 to high speed porn, and at the end at the age of 15 some sick porn. I have ED, I've been to 40 days twice in the begging and been relapsing ever since, but not anymore. Why? What did I do diffrent this time?

I took Gabe Deem's advice to move my computer, since I live only with my mom, there is really no "public" place of the home.. So I took it to my aunt. (Desperate times call for desperate messures) and since then I had 0 urges to view porn, not even once. Because I always used to PMO at the same place on that same computer. And on my phone I installed a filter and threw away the password. I also started reading and eating better, I'm going to the gym 4-5 times a week for over a year now, I got the "fortify" program. It actually has some great advice and if you're under 20 it's free!
Also one more motivating fact is that i have a new girlfriend, I don't want to relapse because of her. I didn't tell her about my problem yet.
As for the benefits I expirienced
Morning wood is back! Its pathetic but it's here
My memory is definetly better and I have more energy
Not bad for 14 days eh?
I will write a new report on day 45!

EDIT: I'm also expiriencing some depression because I don't know how long will it take me to recover, but nothing too extreme. Atleast I'm not relapsing ever again.

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: April 21, 2015, 03:02:44 PM »
Today was a bad day again. I noticed 2 things. First is that I get mad really easy and second is that when I do get mad I feel a very pressure in my dick, kind of like an urge to grab it and start fapping. Anyway I didn't fap. My dick got a lot bigger while flaccid, which is interesting because I tought I was in a flatline. Day 12 done!

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Teens / Re: 16 years old, rebooting!
« on: April 20, 2015, 05:40:05 PM »
Day 11 done. I feel pretty depressed most of the time. I keep seeing triggers everywhere and then I think I messed up. Anyway I'm succesful at not PMOing so I guess it's ok.

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