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Topics - APositiveGuy

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Ages 20-29 / My Journey starts and will end here!
« on: August 03, 2016, 10:53:35 AM »

(At frist, I was hesitated to post my journey here instead of the teenage one, but I was afraid that it wouldn't fit there, becouse of my age.)

I'm a 20 years old virgin male (just turned in June) with a really similar story to yours. I think I frist MOd, when I was 11-12 years old. There were some magazines about pop stars but nothing more. It wasn't really a habbit, until the age of 14, when I frist saw porn. We had high speed internet that time, but my PC wasn't in my room (thanks to my parents) so as far as I remember I was MO -ing occasionally to my fantasy. I took my PC to my room when I was 16(ish) and that's when things were out of controll. And not even becouse of P, but video games. As a teen, I spent long hours everyday in front of my PC playing games. I had friends, I was relatively social, but playing video games was the same for me what it was P to Greg. That was the only thing what motivated me.
At this time, PMO -ing, and MO -ing became a habbit. Almost every day, I was PMO -ing, sometimes 2-3 times a day, sometimes only 4-5 times a week, but in average, every day. Not becouse I was horny or anything. In fact, I think becouse of those 2 things my libido was low all times, so I was unmotivated even to try getting girls.

I was 17 when I had my frist experience with ED. After a heavy night of drinking I went back to a girl's house. We were both drunk, she even thew up in the way there, so I wasn't trying anything, but we lied in bed next to eachoder with clothes on, she put her arms in my chest and she was already sleeping. But what was shocking to me, that nothing happened down there. I think it wasn't PIED back then (but who knows), more like a performance anxiety and that I wasn't relaxed at all, was still drunk. Still, that shocked me, so right in the next day I looked it up, but unfortunately i didn't find this site...

In the next years, I had many girls I got close with, but after a week or month, I had that feeling what I can't describe to you. I felt the urge to end my relationships with them. Mostly due to the fact that I wasn't experienced and I was nervous about it. Anyway, time past by and my PMO -ing became a routine."Normal" porn was not enough for me, but at least I didn't opened multiple tabs at once, and I wasn't even edged up to like 2-3 months ago. When I was 18 or so, I started to go to the gym almost daily and I got more socialized.

However my "exam month" was horrible, and it kept me out of the gym. I often "gifted" myself with a PMO after studying.
After this, I was right back playing video games, now this time, even P related ones. I think it was even worse, becouse I was often edgeing myself, so I could play it even more. This was the frist time that my erection wasn't 100% when watching something porn related. Everything went like this for a while with small brakes due to summer activities, until the last 1-2 weeks. I felt depressed that I don't have a girlfriend, and I felt like getting one will be the hardest thing in my life. Eventually 4-5 days ago, I went partying with my friends. I felt great and motivated and after some accidents I got close with a girl I knew before. Actually she was the ex of one of my old friends. It was great, we danced in a really sexual way, then kissed and touched for a while. It all felt great, however, after that I realized that something was missing. Wasn't even moved down there. Becouse of that, I didn't went back to her place. I'm not sure, but I think wouldn't have been able to get a full erection just by her look and touches. After that night, I was really curious, so I tried to MO. What was shocking to me that I could not got fully erected just by my hand, and I had to think about some "hardcore" P to get it harder, but even then it wasn't 100%.

After that, I instantly went to the internet to know, WTF is really happening with me. I found YBOP and now I'm here.

No doubt, it will be hard, it's already is. But I'm sure, that I will succeed.

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