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Topics - gummianka

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1
Hi all

I have been working on this for some time and I have been doing some experimenting that might be of use to some of you. My experience with all of this (PIED and Porn Addiction) was never that severe, and as a man of 40+ I have had many years of a healthy sex life before this. However, I am sure that some of the stuff below might also be of service to younger guys and people with more acute problems.

1. Meditation
I know this had been said before, but I want to stress this. Meditation is a key in changing your life, and should be used consistently and often. I have set a routine where I meditate once in the morning and once in the evening. The morning session is a quite quick and general meditation with focus on simply being mindful, while the session at night is more of a "treat" where i will find some special meditation to solve an issue, resolve some problem or simply to enjoy it.
Key here is to keep at it, meditation is crap until you actually start getting good at it. So keep it up, and never skip a day without meditation.

2. Boosting testosterone
Boosting T is another great key in my life. With higher T levels you get more assertive, calm, happy and simply a better man. Think about it, who is most likely to beat it in front of a screen, the neck beard beta hipster or the proud Spartan warrior? Be the Spartan.
Boosting T is not complicated but will take some work. Train hard and heavy, check your diet and start looking into what supplements to take. I recommend checking out the website anabolicmen.com. I have tried all of it there, and it works. The supplements they are pushing are quite amazing as well.

3. Start dating!
Don't wait until you are "fixed" until you start interacting with women. Just go out there and meet women. Have fun with them! Flirt with the waitress, ask the woman you meet on the street for a date. Be happy, carefree and kind. All of the issues I suffered were not because of sex, it was because the lack of sexuality in my life. This leads me to the next step...

4. Intimacy
This is hard to get if you are single and not able to perform, but holding a woman has a great healing power. I solved this by starting to dance. Pick a dance where you actually embrace your partner (I chose to tango) and start dancing. It is fun, you will meet new friends, you will learn a new and useful skill and you can heal up while getting good at dancing.

5. Analyzing porn
this might seem strange, but I really dived into this. I researched the porn industry, I started looking up the people behind it and I contacted people working in the porn industry to get some inside information. This has remade porn completely for me. It is no longer sex on a screen, it is a product, and has lost pretty much all of its appeal. Some highlights I have found.
a - The people in the business are mostly scum. This goes for the people behind the camera and the actors on the screen. I don't want to give them any more of my time.
b - It is all fake. I spoke to a guy that was making fake dicks for black male actors (no, most of those guys are not equipped as you think). I talked to male actors describing how they were kept hard during shoots, how a single scene could be recorded over days, how trick cameras and damn special effects were used. Comparing yourself to porn is like trying to compete with Superman in a movie. It is completely useless as Superman is made up.
c - Most women do not like porn-style sex. I read a lot of manuals etc with men and women teaching sex. The classic positions and scenes in porn movies are probably the last stuff you should be doing. As I said, I am not a virgin, and my best sexual encounters had little to no similarity to the stuff seen in modern porn. Also, I did not get triggered by actually reading about sex, even looking at graphic images. It was funny how I managed to detach porn from sex once I started to really understand porn.

6. Read books
Reading is almost like meditation and it expands your mind in a beautiful way. It took some time to get into the habit (I forced myself to do a minimum of 20 pages per day) but after a while I was so into whatever stuff I was reading, that I simply did not have time with porn at all. Key here is to read something you really enjoy.

7. Relapse analysis
Every time I had a relapse, I wrote down what I had done before, and then eliminated that from my habits. It could be stuff like playing video games, or seemingly trivial things as "having a smoke in the morning and then listening to this or that music". Whatever happened right before I started relapsing, I purged from my life. Some stuff I might take up again later, but during the reboot, I think this hardline method is good.

8 Hypnosis
I took my problems to a hypnotist, explained it to him and had him hypnotize me to get over ED and to get over porn addiction. This was very powerful and I cannot recommend it enough.

9. Don't spend too much time at this place...
This might seem a strange advice, and I am not sure it is for all but after I had read everything here, and done a shitload of posting, I left the nofap community and did this trip on myself. I am sure that it can be good to have a support group, but there is also a danger in being to involved into this community. Visit it, use it, learn from it and help others, but do not make nofap into your life.

10. Take your time with sex
failing at sex is not the end of the world, and it is not only up to you. Take your time with a woman, and enjoy the moment when you try again. Remember, it is not a rigged porn scene, it is reality, and no matter what porn keeps telling us, real men are not machines that can perform on demand at any moment. Also is aware on her. Perhaps she simply doesn't turn you on? It takes two to tango. I failed with one woman, thinking I was completely broken, only to have great sex with another, who was much partner for me. We are not robots, neither we men nor them women.

These are the things that worked well for me. I will be around this forum for a couple of days if anyone wants to ask me something in this thread.

2
This is a thought I have, that combines the Reboot theory with PA psychology. Thought I would post it here and see what you think and if you agree.

I have never thought a woman to be less of a woman if she had a headache, were on her period or simply did not feel like sex for any reason. I have been with women that stopped sex as she could not get into it that night, and sex turned to simply being close, and we were at it some other time instead when we both felt up for it.

I have, since I started watching porn more, thought that about myself. Of course I know that the studs in those movies are pumped full of drugs, are special  actors that do that for a living and have an army of people making sure they are hard and can perform at the set. Also, that "great sex" might very well be the 20th attempt and the video heavily edited. It simply is not real.

However, the idea that I should be able to perform as a machine any time, and under any circumstances, seem to have been locked into my brain. I actually only started understanding this a few days ago (that's how screwed up I am). Of the women I have been with (and I am now talking almost exclusively of my pre-porn days) I have always been able to perform when I have been seduced, but in the "just do me" scenarios I have always had a need to really know the woman first otherwise my performance was not that great. 

I've known guys that never had a problem with that, but I always had. And when I am comparing myself to Mr. Action in XXX movies, my PA goes through the roof.

Rebooting will of course slowly remove images, fantasies and memories of porn, but I think realizing this might speed things up. Since the images are so strong, it is easy to really emotionally believe in porn. Understanding that the scene you have burned into your brain is most likely performed after A LOT of (trigger-trigger-trigger) preparations helps me relax about this in a way I haven't done for months.

Wanted to get this off my chest, and perhaps any of you will benefit from this as well and have some more ideas about this.

3
Hi

Have any one here any experience in mediation or any other mental exercise used to heal performance anxiety, or ED related problems in general?

As I am single, I am looking for an alternative to a partner to rewire. I have seen a few channels online, with "sexual meditation" and names like that but not started to investigate it further so far.

4
Porn Addiction / When Reboot reaches mainstream medical science?
« on: June 09, 2016, 04:51:59 AM »
This is just a thread thinking about the future of this thing we call reboot. Currently, we are a bunch of hacks trying to figure out with how this all works, and we have a few vague ideas about dopamine effects on bran, that we need to abstain from stimuli for roughly 90 days and so on.

However, what do you think the future will hold for this? All discoveries on how the brain works have been altered in history and more efficient and better ways to deal with it has been produced. There is big money in medication, and many mental issues that used to be treated with therapy is now handled with medication.

What do you think?

I personally have been wondering if a medication that would cut all libido would not be of value in a reboot. I have actually been using that many years ago. The chemical castration was a side effect of course, but apart from getting well from the acxtual sickness I had, I wonder if not the complete break from sex was also a good thing. I can remember that for about 2 months time, I had no sexual desire, no sexual thoughts, and even had a hard time forcing myself to imagine anything sexual.

Today, I would defiantly pop that pill again if I had it, to simply remove all desire for a while. :)

5
Porn Addiction / Fantasy
« on: May 25, 2016, 02:40:32 AM »
Hi all

I am really reaching out with a piece of the puzzle I cannot find by myself.

I have now started this journey, and anyone interested can check my journal in the 40+ forum, called realizing I am in Hell. Since I have started, I have gotten a pretty good method for avoiding porn, not MO and not PMO and I know what I need to do here, even if I have relapsed a few times since I started.

However, I am at loss when it comes to my thoughts. I have always had a very vivid imagination, and this includes sex. I fantasize a lot about it. Not reliving porn I have seen, but creating scenarios with women. This actually never involves porn stars, but usually nude models (Playboy etc). I do not MO to this though, any more, as I refrain from orgasms now.

1. is this a damaging to my recovery?

2. should  I just ignore this, stick to avoiding porn and PMO and this will sort itself out?

3. Is there some technique or drill for killing my thoughts?

In short, any advice, help or insight on this is most welcomed.

Thanks


6
I have started playing around with meditation and PMR now, and it is doing wonders for me. For you that are a bit more experienced with this, any specific kind of meditation that you recommend? Is there a special "sex enhancing drill" out there?

Any help would eb greatly appriciated.

7
I am still way to early in to bother about sex and so, but I am still curious. How do I know what is real and what is just porn-bullshit?

I can obviously get off to porn
I can fantasize about it and get hard
I can fantasize about real sex, but I dont know how much porn experiences my brain uses there, and get hard
I get morning wood after about two or three days of nofap
I get insanely horny/get insane urges but this I see as only porn addiction, not real sex cravings

So, how do you know? How do you test? Yes, I know not to test with porn, but how do you guys know? Simply curious on this question...

oh, I am single, so no partner to test myself with. if I had, I suppose the answer would be quite easy. :)

8
Porn Addiction / blocking Incognito funkction in Chrome?
« on: May 10, 2016, 03:55:54 PM »
Hi all.

Well, I seem to be constantly coming up with ways to sabotage myself, however, i tend not to break any rules. I have a porn filter installed, and that is kept in place. However, I can always open the incognito tab in chrome to sidestep it. How do i block this function?

Thanks in advance

9
Porn Addiction / set back
« on: April 12, 2016, 02:19:58 PM »
OK, I know this is a stupid question, but going insane here. I have been porn and orgasm free for 7 days, and today i apparently lost my mind and masturbated to porn. How much did that set me back? Am I back at day one, or do I have anything left to build on? Please help, feeling really lost and depsertae now  :-[ :'(

10
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Rewire alone?
« on: April 10, 2016, 04:11:41 AM »
Hi all.

reading up on all of this now with a frenzy that I wish i had back in school ;)

I get the whole reboot thing, and I am struggling with that now, but all talk about rewire confuses and scares me. Do all porn addicts have some sort of super-women that devolte their life to help them back to sex life? Do men with PIED go out and pick up women asking them to help them recover by having some sort of training sex with them? These stories make no sense at all to me.

So how to rewire alone? I sure as hell will not have some loving, understanding woman to help me, I need to do this on my own. So, is it enough to abstain from it all, and time will heal, or what is the story here?

11
I am reading up on this like crazy now, but cannot find an answer ot theory for this.

I always had a hard-ish time with sex for the first time with a new mate. I blamed this on anxiety. Recently, I have seen this escalate and a final disastious experience brought me here and I now realize that it is porn induced.

I can get it up quick using porn.
I can get it up semi-quick only masturbating, but then fantazising about porn, or nude models, to be precise, that I can think up various scenarios with.
I can be with a super hot woman, and not get a hard on even though I am turned on as crazy.

I went to a doctor and he gave me Viagra. Will that work? I am not planning having sex (I have no girlfriend) but I am curious on how that will work. Is the blue pill useless here, or will it be useful as a cruth?

12
Porn Addiction / Porn fantasy and masturbation
« on: April 08, 2016, 01:42:01 AM »
Hi all.

just started this ( my journal is in the 40 + section, called "Realizing I'm in hell"

Questions:

1. I have not been with a woman for a longer time, and most of my fantasies are about made up women, Playboy models etc. How to cut that from my fantasies? Is that a problem, if I fantasies about sex with those women, however not fantasising about the actual porn use?

2. How hard (no pun intended) is the rule not to masturbate? Is touching a set back? Stroking a bit? stroking until erection?

Thanks

13
Ages 40 and up / Realizing I'm in hell
« on: April 04, 2016, 11:05:29 AM »
I am 40+ and I just hit rock bottom. After a really bad relationship in the past, and then many unfulfilling encounters with women, I decided to quit dating at all. This celibacy lasted for a few years.

I have always used porn, to some degree, and for the last few years I used it a lot. As I now read about this, I see that my story with porn is not unique, but very common. Some time ago I actually met a woman I was genuinly interesed in, and to my horror I realized that I could not get it up. I want her, I am crazy about her but I just cannot go through having sex with her. We live quite a bit apart, so will only see her once every month at best, and this goddamn PIED is ruining everything. When sex failed I tested a few days after with porn, and sure, I could get an erection. :(

I am at a really dark place now. Will go and see a doctor as soon as I can get an appointment, but already know that this is the main cause. Been wiping my PC clean now and installed a porn filter, and tomorrow will be my first day of no porn. I have for some time been edging only, thinking that ejaculation was the bad thing, but now I have found out that I have been actually making it worse by doing that.

Suppose I only want to went. Not sure where this will lead, but I really know that I do not want to be the person I am today. Any feedback is welcomed, and I will try to keep this updated on what happens if I can help, or possibly even better, warn anyone else.

Realizing that jacking off to pixels on a screen could be sabotaging one of the best opprtunities to find happiness in my life is a hard blow indeed.

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