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Topics - freshstart@40

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Porn Addiction / "2 second rule" vs No visual stimulation
« on: January 11, 2016, 08:14:25 AM »
Been reading up a bit on the above and wondering if people had any thoughts on which method is healthiest/best for recovery?
Should we look away as soon as we see a good looking real life girl, or do we allow ourselves 2 seconds to appreciate her beauty?

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Porn Addiction / 1 month wall
« on: December 31, 2015, 01:07:11 PM »
Hey guys anyone else coast through the first month only to hit a wall.
i'm really struggling at the moment, does anyone else find this and what happens next.
Temptation is creeping in but i'm fighting it
All help appreciated
Be strong

3
Porn Addiction / cutting all ties
« on: December 29, 2015, 03:52:51 AM »
Just a quick one people, I started my reboot as soon as i saw this site.
As a result i did not cancel the subscription to the one paid for p site i used.
How can i do this now as if i sign in to cancel subscription, i will doubtless see images i do not want to.
Please help

4
Porn Addiction / Diet Supplements and exercise
« on: December 27, 2015, 05:03:10 AM »
Hi All
I am 4 weeks into my reboot and wondering if anyone has any ideas for helping me lead a more healthy lifestyle
I'm 40 years old
I have started using an exercise bike and doing kegels (although not as often as i know i should)
I am watching what i eat and have pretty much cut out all vices except caffeine.
I also take omega 3 oil (760mg) once a day and a handful of seeds (chia etc)
Any help appreciated

5
Porn Addiction / Dopamine rush? Swapping one addiction for another?
« on: December 21, 2015, 08:11:31 AM »
Ok here goes.

This is a hard one to write.

Some important information first

I am rebooting without my partners knowledge.
I'm 3 weeks in.
My main p fantasy used to involve her cheating on me
The thought now turns my stomach.
I love her to bits.
She goes out on her own a couple of times a month with girl pals. Always has done.
She is a natural flirt.
Guys hit on her. Always have done.
She tells me. Always has done.
It never used to worry me, in fact made me proud.
I TRUST HER IMPLICITLY.

BUT
I now have found myself checking her phone.
Her conversations with said girl pals.
Not looking for evidence of an affair or anything like that, but .........
in fact I don't know why I'm doing it.
It's almost as if I just want to know what was happening while I wasn't with her.
Again NOT because I don't trust her but because I wasn't there and feel I was missing out.
It is hard to put into words.
It's almost like since I started my reboot I feel so much closer to her that I want to be with her all the time

Is this my anxiety kicking in?

When I check her phone, if she is in the house I know I could get caught, I get a big "rush" of "nerves"
Could I just be substituting sneaking around looking at p  for sneaking around looking at her phone?
The rush feels different but I'm worried.
Please don't hate me, I'm not proud of myself  :(
Any help thoughts appreciated




6
I also think I went straight into flatline and may be creeping out of it, or is that wishful thinking?
Im on day 12.
Any similar stories appreciated

7
Hi Guys
A couple of quick questions which I will put in to two posts.
Firstly before i gave up the p, if i wasnt watching it then the old chap used to be pretty limp and lifeless and thin.
Since I gave up the p 12 days ago, it has stayed like that.
I have had one sex attempt with my wife (around day 5) i got semi hard (if that) but could not finish (DE).
Today (day 12) my penis is a lot thicker and firmer.
I have had no wet dreams or leakage.
Is this normal?
All help appreciated

8
Porn Addiction / Meditation book/technique recommendations please
« on: December 08, 2015, 03:25:30 PM »
Hi guys
Can any successful rebooters recommend any meditation books or techniques I could try.
from a 40yo husband with pied

9
Hi guys, so many different takes here on O, but is 7 days after no p or m or o too soon to try with my wife?
she is unaware of the cause of my ED

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Ages 40 and up / 40 yo Starting from the beginning
« on: December 01, 2015, 04:26:01 PM »
Hi Guys
I apologise if this isn't the place for this but for my benefit and hopefully that of others in the future I want to keep a record of my journey.
I aim to post regularly so I and others can track my progress.
I am a 40yo married guy who has had a  PMO which I believe I have kept secret for many years.
I have been using viagra for nearly a decade now but the results have been steadily declining.
I was online looking for P for my 6th M of the day on saturday, this was excessive even by my standards, when I came across a thread to this site.
My life changed instantly.
I realised I had an addiction.
I registered for the site and ordered a couple of the books and stopped PMO immediately.
I'm just finishing day 3, wow I hear you say, a whole 3 days! trust me this is a big deal for me.
I have found it relatively easy to stop watching P......so far but what I am finding is harder is my mind wandering and thinking about women, real ones! including and especially my wife.
Another thing I am going to find hard is how to fill the hours a day I would do this.
Wife works shifts so I am often in the house alone and the kids in bed.
I guess I need a hobby.
I am going to try not to ask any questions here as I have found the YBOP site and this forum answers them all! Yes All!
I can't believe how many people are in a  similar situation to me!
I will just post progress updates and really welcome any feedback/support/questions/help




11
Ages 40 and up / How do people manage with being married?
« on: November 30, 2015, 05:32:16 AM »
Hi Guys
Very new to this, stumbled upon a thread here (ironically while searching for P) and it's been a big wake up call.
I never realised this was a thing but suddenly it all makes sense.
I have not yet fully browsed the site so apologies if I'm repeating existing threads.
My main questions at the moment are when you have hid a P addiction for so long, do you keep your recovery secret or should you seek support from your wife?
Does having sex/intimacy help or interfere with the process?
And finally are fantasies good? or is it P without a screen?
Thanks in advance


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