Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - kopp

Pages: [1]
Porn Addiction / Relapsed in a strange, shameful way
« on: September 21, 2019, 12:03:05 PM »
Everything was fine. 140+ days streak.
I live with my gf so I don't feel lonely often.

It happened once. I was without her for a weekend and I relapsed. And now I have a hard time having more than 3-4 days streaks.
I look at images when she's at school. That sucks...

I did worse: I started talking to girls on an app thats purpose is to sell clothes between users... and... got some nudes from two of them... The shameful part is: for one of the two, I paid. God...
After 3 years of relationship I started doubting my attractiveness. I basically didn't exist to girls anymore except from my girlfriend. It felt bad. I felt lonely more often in the last 2 weeks than in the previous 6 months.

I started doubting myself and wondering if girl thought I am attractive. I still don't know. I just wanted to feel attracting to girls and receive nudes like I used to when I was younger and single..

Recently I've spent far too much time, hidden, browsing this app. I just deleted my account after trying for hours to get unbanned (yeah, I got banned and it was deserved, this is not a dating app, what a perv am I..)

I feel... strange? Not shitty but strange. I also did this to avoid a difficult situation I'm in professionally. I'm late on a project and the next one starts in a week... I should spend all my time working, I spend it on sexy pictures instead, I feel like giving up, I'll never be on time and this will have shitty consequences: I'll have to work all weekends..

What the fuck was I thinking... I deserve much better than this. My girlfriend also do. Of course I am attractive! No need to ask strangers for nudes on apps that arent meant to this at all! I deleted everything, the pictures, the account.

Gosh writing it feels good... I'm not the loser I've been in the last few days!

Much love to all my struggling brothers here. You guys are the best. You're on the right track. Keep going

Ages 20-29 / Joyful journal
« on: September 08, 2018, 08:29:04 AM »
It made a long time that I didn't have a hurtful relapse.
I relapsed occasionally, but it wasn't affecting me as much as it did in the past, and it was on less hardcore stuff that it used to : sexy pictures of girls were enough.

I never reached the 90 days nofap goal. Well, my best streak is 75 days. In fact I fapped twice in 90 days. I felt like I was OK now and you probably know what happened next.

Since this I didn't try much, having streaks of 10 - 15 days.
I was on day 15 and started desiring sex again. I phoned my girlfriend and MO'd. I PMO'd the next day. 3 days passed and this morning I did it again.
I fapped 5 days out of the last 42 days.

I still have that bad habit: whenever I relapse, I PMO for hours. I tell myself that I won't orgasm and then, after hours, I do. The error is not to cum in the end, the error is to start masturbating.

I'm kopp, I'm here to stop my internet and virtual sex addiction and here are my rules:
I don't touch my cock, only women do.
I don't edge.
I go outside everyday.
I plan my days.

Ages 20-29 / ★ K 0 P P ★
« on: July 04, 2015, 04:29:27 AM »
Hi guys,
I'm a 22 years old french guy, living near Paris, studying computer science. I used to run and now I go to the gym. I used to play guitar. I've been shy, it's better now but not as good as it should, I'm kind of an introvert one. I have dififculties to talk about me, to open myself to others. Most days I can't approach people, some others I'm surprisingly good at it.

I know the nofap scene since.... like 4 years now. I have to be honest with you : I have never been really commited to it. I have never made more than 30 days I think. I made huge progress in my life anyway, but relapsing always take me down again. Too often I felt like I couldn't do it.
Somehow I'm still not convinced that not masturbating at all is healthy.

Last months have been difficult, I broke up with my girlfriend, I hate my job and don't have the courage to really find the one I want, I gained a bit of fat (even if I gained some muscle too ;)).

I want to leave for good now. I want real girls, real sex. Since I broke up with my girlfriend I haven't had a satisfying dating life.
Yeah, that's it : it's not that much that I want to quit porn or masturbation, it's simply that I want to be awesome, to my full potential, and get beautiful girls. I love girls so much, so much more than watching porn. I want the beach body, the girls and the $$$.

I also had good times : first times going to clubs, first times dancing with girls in public... I still don't feel confident enough to go directly to girls and dance with them and get them home but still, this has been amazing and it made me realize I could have success with girls.

The effects of PMO are, for me :
- lack of libido
- lack of energy
- suicidal thoughts
- confidence going down
- feeling like shit
- becoming antisocial
- becoming paranoid (ie everyone hates me, everyone looks at me in a bad way, ...)
- stopping going to the gym
- eating crap / not eating enough and losing muscle / gaining fat

Day 1.

Relapsing causes depression to me.
Those last months, I was relapsing every 3 to 10 days. I wasn't that bad, I was simply not as good as I could be.
Last week, I lost my accountability partner - we said that the next time one of us relapses, we end the partnership. ~ 3 days later he relapsed, it made me sad. I masturbated like 5 times the next day and then relapsed almost everyday or every 2 days.

Last time was last night.
Somehow I'm glad I relapsed. It made me realize I was doing shit, it made me remember that I needed to quit, it threw me back the reasons why I have to stop.

I want to improve myself and my dating life, I know I can do it. I'm tired of writing at the moment, see you soon ;p

**Forum Rules-Guidelines-Suggestions** / Youtube/Video ?
« on: May 30, 2014, 11:31:59 AM »

Is there a way to display a youtube video on the forum?

like for exemple [youtube]xxx[/youtube] ?

Ages 20-29 / kopp's journal
« on: May 10, 2014, 05:38:15 AM »
Hey guys!

French dude here, 21 yo, studying computer science. I have a gf for 3 years now. :)
Here is a link of my old YBR journal :

I quit the YBR forum as I was feeling better, I never really recovered but I stopped "compulsive" masturbation for a while and totally stopped porn.
However, with time going on, I started being less attracted to my girlfriend, we were both mad at each other for a while, and I started masturbating again to evacuate the frustration.
This week I masturbated every day, from 1 to 4 times. I feel like I wasted so much energy, I just dont want to do anything right now...

Those last months, I don't go ou that much, I don't call much my friends, I don't practice sport enough, I don't really improve my life...

So, I have to stop this shit, for real. I wanna be the sex machine I was when I met her again, I wanna have those hard-as-a-rock erections and that energy that makes me want to conquer the world again.

I'd like to stop using the computer too but hey.. i'm studying computer science so... I'd really like to find a balance to this, to use only my computer for work and self improvment, and destroy all the procrastination and stuff.

I'm here to recover and stop, and make friends and recovering buddies. I'll share as much tips as I can.
I'm into sport a bit too and self improvment, so don't worry if you see working out / social activities / health / ... stuff on my journal. I'm pretty sure it's a part of the recovery. :)

See you guys! I'm already feeling a bit better. :)

Pages: [1]