Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - Bango Skank

Pages: [1]
1
Ages 40 and up / Ah... just when you think you beat it...
« on: December 09, 2016, 07:21:13 PM »
..you find you just beat off.

Pretty proud I have been 5 months clean, but today I fell off the wagon bigtime. Mind you, cocky prick that I am, I was dancing around on the edge yelling "wohooo look at me, no hands". Then the wagon hit a big bump and my arse hit the ground. Hard.

Don't get complacent guys. All it took for me was a big row with the Mrs and then I was up late thinking to hell with everything. I should have put on my shoes for a night run but I started 'just peeking' at a couple of long forgotten sites. Now I'm thinking to myself damnit a couple of hours ago I was 160 odd days cool and now back to square one.

I'd turned everything arount too. Ditched videogames months ago and with them, late nights too. Joined a running club and got fitter that I've ever been. Made good with my wife (sort of) and we're in a decent place generally until an argument got out of hand this morning. I also conquered some anxieties about talking to people and my business has flourished as a result. What the hell was I thinking?

But anyway I've vented my frustration so now I must retire and flagellate myself for the remainder of the weekend.

2
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / In the News PIED
« on: August 15, 2016, 01:26:58 AM »
Apologies if this is old news but I was pleasantly surprised to hear a news article on BBC Radio 4 this morning abut porn addiction and PIED. Perhaps it's finally starting to get mainstream attention. I went to the accompanying Newsbeat article and it's Dan Simmons from the podcast. See here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/32916056/porn-addiction-i-couldnt-focus-on-everyday-activities

3
Ages 40 and up / Like a sinner before....
« on: June 23, 2016, 05:13:44 PM »
The gates of heaven and all that crap.... Seriously can it be that hard to just not jack off for few nights?

So what has changed since my first reboot last year when I went 3 months and felt like I had got Austin Powers' mojo..? Maybe it's not bothering to check in and account for myself here that's all I can think of.

Mrs and I are at marriage counselling. It's our 10 year anniversary tomorrow. My self to myself - get a grip mate.

Can it really be that hard? Smack - self - in - head - with - each - word.

It has to be time now.

4
Ages 40 and up / Okay... back on the wagon.
« on: February 17, 2016, 12:08:49 PM »
Hey peeps.

I didn't post for the longest time but like a sinner at the gates of heaven as the man said, I'm crawling back.

I thought I had cracked it last year; I made it past Christmas which was three and a half months clean. No porn, no MB, not quite as much actual sex with Mrs as I expected but what I did get was amazing.

Then we adopted our 3rd baby in the new year and having this new little squawking person airlifted into our lives ramped up the stress levels. Lack of sleep and generally frayed tempers meant the fleeting period of intimacy I had engineered was over. I'm afraid I went back to old habits. Staying up late just to get some quiet reflective time and before you know it I'm browsing Imagefap or some such site. Inviting the devil right in the front door so to speak.

I've done a week here, a few days there abstaining but up until now I just haven't really had my heart in it. However, little one is settling in now and sleeping through the night, and I have some money rolling in after having several weeks paternal leave (on the insistence of the social services - I'm self employed so that hit our finances hard). I'm down but then back up on the count of 9 for a last minute comeback.

So here goes for reboot 2.0. Looking forward to getting back into the community, which I know from last time is instrumental in providing the encouragement I need to succeed...

5
Ages 40 and up / One month went surprisingly fast.
« on: October 14, 2015, 04:39:10 PM »
Right I'm posting here because damnit I'm as good as 40 now. I'm checking in for my 30th day without P or O for those who are interested.

I should note that I got to 24 days 1st time and relapsed - but I do not believe a relapse means back to square one. More like we build on our experience each time and take that forward with us. So my current 30 days began with a rolling start.

I had one loooong flatline from day 3 or 4 until about 3 weeks in when my libido started to return. MW every day since then without fail. Also I seem to get boners just by thinking about anything erotic. Listening to Game of Thrones audiobook at work which is full of sex... doesn't tempt me to relapse but it does 'stiffen the loins' as the author would put it.

I have found that my attraction to women has broadened. Ladies in their 40's and 50's to me now seem as appealing and often more so than younger women. Mrs Skank is turning me on in ways she hasn't done in 10 years. My brain is seeing the opposite sex through untainted eyes. The porn industry is revealed for how warped and poisonous it really is; all about 'teens' or women pretending to be so. Any actress above 25 goes straight into the MILF category.

I still often get the habitual urge to peek at the old sites. I'm learning to ignore it or smother it with other activities. But as I've explained before I often used to MO to general glamour type images of girls in lingerie, miniskirts etc so pretty much anything online can be a trigger.

Having said all this, I've had no actual sex since starting. I talked to Mrs and she has read this site and gets the general idea. It's been so long though, I think she is nervous about it.  A future update will likely follow but don't hold your breath.

So up to this point very happy with results. I'm certain that the unfortunately dubbed hard-mode is the way to go. Pure and effective. Here's to my next goal of 90 days.

6
Ages 30-39 / Figuring it out at the moment
« on: August 13, 2015, 03:51:58 PM »
Hi guys - I'm 39, married for 10 years, a dad of two small boys. I had an epiphany last night and went looking for information on the internet with the Google search "porn addiction". Quickly I ended up at this forum and I can't quite believe I haven't found myself here a long time ago, years in fact.

I'm not totally sure how severely I am affected by this or how deep the programming will go. I guess my problem has been developing for 10 - 12 years. The thing is I don't really do porn as such - more just jerking off while downloading and viewing a series of images of attractive young women, clothed but very suggestive, from modelling sites. I guess the end result is the same; I have done this at least 200 times in the last year - meanwhile I haven't made love to my wife at all in that same period, a vibrant, vital, devoted and beautiful young woman (she's a little younger than me at 32). This in itself is a crime. Our relationship, while still fairly caring, has become stagnant and utterly passionless. We are little more than house-mates.

So please forgive me, as I'm still figuring out how to approach this and will surely update my thread over the near future as I find my way down the road.

One thing is sure - after a particularly tough come-down last night during which I felt about as self-loathing and pathetic as I have ever done and asked myself "what the hell am I doing" - a realisation of truth has come to me that has changed my outlook on everything. And I can at least see now that everything is pretty much all my own fault.

Thanks for reading guys and hopefully I can have a few things worked out when I update. I just wanted to check in.

Oh and by the way, Day 1, yay..!  ;)

Pages: [1]