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Topics - itsabrandnewday

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Ages 40 and up / PIED Gay 50+
« on: April 29, 2015, 08:55:40 AM »
So here I am, a happily married (to a man) 58 year old guy who about 8 days ago started staring at this thing face to face. 

It started for me in the 1970's sneaking peeks at my brother-in-law's mags and when I was old enough going to x-rated drive-in movies (yes that was a thing).  I graduated to indoor movie houses and later to bookstore peep-show booths.  My habit grew with the technology, and at age 41 I had my first computer/internet connection.  For the last 15 years I have had a serious internet porn habit, and for the VERY FIRST TIME after happening onto a TED Talk I'm starting to understand what has happened. 

I am a highly educated, well-read professional, and yet have NEVER made a correlation of my ED with internet porn use.  But as I listened to others and started thinking clearly, it makes sense to me that no urologist has ever been able to come up with a physical reason for my ED.  The only thing they can do is prescribe, like a shot in the dark.  I think the clincher is that my erections aren't reliable even with the pills.

I went through a number of relationships in my 40s, always getting bored, always running out of steam once the novelty wore off.  What seems like a wandering eye could have been much more about the way my brain has been trained to click on something different. 

My husband and I have been together for a number of years, and we have a wonderful life together and it's something I do not want to fuck up.  Ever.  I am 8 days into no PMO and am gaining lots of support and help from reading and research, but eventually I will run out of stuff to read.  I'm just beginning to check out forums such as this, and wondering are there any other older gay men out there who are further along with this?

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