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Topics - Ocarinustino

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1
Porn Addiction / Another close call
« on: November 07, 2016, 12:05:34 PM »
Today I had to find my artwork which I remembered I saved in my old folder with porn gifs that I forgot to delete. God fucking damn it!

I had to scroll through those gifs in order to find my artwork pictures. I scrolled as fast as I could but I caught a glimpse of few of them gifs. I suddenly had a rush to masturbate. I found artwork I searched for,took them out and immediately deleted that gif folder and all those porn gifs in it and went outside to take a fresh breath and not relapse.
They are like spirits from the past which haunt you. But I feel I am stronger for winning another battle against encounter which tempted me to PMO.

I must keep going!

2
Porn Addiction / What is this supposed to mean? Progress or?
« on: November 04, 2016, 12:38:24 PM »
I was scrolling through forum about stories from hiking and camping and while I was reading through ordinary posts one of the posters on thread made sexual post where he narrated how he had sex with girlfriend in forest during hike and as I finished reading that post I realized I was a bit turned on and I got 60% hard erection which lasted for aprox 15 seconds. What is this supposed to mean? Is it ok that I was slightly turned on by idea of myself having sex with girl in nature? Is this good since I didn't need any kind of memories from porn or porn scenarios to get turned on and this was my strongest erection since the start of this reboot?


3
Porn Addiction / Did I relapse?
« on: October 25, 2016, 09:45:22 AM »
I accidentally came across a pic of my favorite fetish and I looked at it for like 3 seconds,realized I am doing bad for reboot and closed it. Did I relapse or is everything ok?

4
Went to doctor,told him situation and he recommended me to use shea butter by Obey brand. He says those nutrients are good. Would like to ask if those who used shea butter did it help them?

5
Porn Addiction / Penile sensitivity screwed to hell
« on: May 05, 2016, 05:49:03 AM »
Havent changed the counter for long time but now Im 19 days in. Honestly I feel pretty good for the most part. No much need for porn,working through it somehow. I get pretty hard morning woods I dont complain about it either.

But god damn it,I realized now how much my dick got desensitized by all that dry masturbation 4-5 times a day almost every day ti porn for the past 2 years since GF broke up with me. Like even after 19 days of leaving the skin to heal I dont feel anything on its skin. It feels like its skin is made of dead tissue. I am extremely worried. I never realized how much I messed my little guy up.

When I compare it to when I was 13 and just started masturbating it felt like a bliss touching it,and Im not even going to mention stimulation of it by vagina. Now it feels like I would need a fucking sandpaper to get it stimulated.

Do things get better? Because there is no use of doing reboot and being able to get and stay 100% hard and enjoy real sex again if I am not able to regain my skin sensitivity.

6
Porn Addiction / Having "unavoidable" trigger issue. Any advice?
« on: January 21, 2016, 02:08:07 AM »
I have new neighbors. They are very sexually active. They are having sex very often. She moans very loud. Also when the guy reaches climax he is also extremely loud. This is triggering me a lot in many ways. It causes emotional unbalance because it reminds me of my EX to whom I still have emotional attachment to and amazing sex I had with her.  The girl moaning so passionately gives me, you know PMO, MO thoughts. Also when I hear the guy climax with so much pleasure, I imagine being him and I also get serious need for PMO, MO.

Its literally every 2nd day around 12-2 am. I know one of advices would be "go where its quiet". I tried to use ear caps but too loud still. I tried to sleep in kitchen. Nope can still hear them. The only place where I dont hear them is the fucking bathroom. But I feel like a complete idiot waking up in the middle of night,going to shitty bathroom which is freezing and staying there for half an hour hoping they are finished. "Knock on walls" didnt do much. They stop but get back to it. Im at the end of building and only I can hear them so its not building issue. I dont want to get into a fight because its not issue that I hate. Its but cause of reboot.

Problem is that I enjoy listening to it but its causing triggers to come and Im conscious about it. I am left sleepless. I am still fighting the urge but barely. Since I just started this reboot I need advice to keep PMO and MO out of question on this.

Any advice is welcome.

7
Porn Addiction / Porn addiction and asexuality
« on: December 11, 2015, 12:08:41 PM »
I see MANY and I mean MANY rebooters becoming interested and turned on by tranny and gay porn from porn addiction.

But I would like to ask,did anyone start feeling very asexual from all the porn consumption? Like does the idea of any sexual acts,naked bodies,intimacy etc. make you sick,very stressed or repulsed and you just dont want to do anything sexual? Like your brain is denying it all

8
Porn Addiction / Compilation of things that PMO worsened for me
« on: November 13, 2015, 03:01:17 PM »
So here is compilation of things I noticed PMO addiction caused for me. I became heavy user (jerking 5 times a day to seriously hardcore stuff) for 4 years since I was in late 18. Im going to compare myself when I was early 17(not PMO addict with real sex life) and now when Im 22 and seriously dependent on porn.


MEMORY-


17-quite solid,could remember whole schedule for week,month,all obligations and works. People tended to ask me for something they dont remember quite a lot since I had quite solid memory both short term and long term.

22-Short term basically non existent.Constantly lost in thoughts,cant design schedule,forgot or messed up memories.

PHYSIQUE

17-Well designed athletic body.Good stamina and no health complications. Good sleeping and good diet.

22-Gained 10 pounds. Hair falling and losing. Bad sleeping and gastrointenstinal problems very often.

SOCIAL INTERACTION

17-Quite social,going out every weekend both friday and saturday,sometimes even working days. Dozens of good friends. Opened to many activities. No much problems to make contact. Good talking skill. Able to achieve positive image inside other persons perspective in most cases. Lots of interest for human interaction. Talking with girls a bit hard and shy,but easy to break through.

22-Basically stopped going out. Maybe 2-3 times a month. No interest in meeting friends or meeting new people. Quite asocial. No interest in talking to real women. Almost scared of even thinking about it. Problems with making sentences. Sometimes coming out quite silly. Basically holding to house,study and sleeping.

ACTIVITIES

17-Playing basketball and guitar a lot. Loved watching movies and was movie collector. Loved playing video games with friends and was very excited about it. Very open to adventures in nature or elsewhere. Lots of energy,bravery and excitement.Traveling around Europe trying out new things.

22-No activities whatsoever aside PMO. No will for any activity. Basically summing up everything. Only obsessing in mind.No passion in anything.Weak energy very sleepy and bored. Depressed.

SEXUAL SENSITIVITY AND SEX LIFE

17-Could get rock solid on just seeing half naked woman or pretty fully clothed woman,woman doing some flirting like crossing bare legs,eating fruit sexually or just looking with sexy look,or talking sexy also giving immediate erection. Most importantly able to get hard on real life. Sex with GF great,full of emotion sensitivity and connection to her. Pure vanilla sex with maybe some oral and touching more than enough to give incredible pleasure.Great duration,sex 7 times a week,very rich semen and fulfilling energizing feeling. Constant morning woods,great very long erections,constant hornines.

22-Sex life non existent. Cant get hard on any real life woman. Blocked and unwilling to interact with them. Even most hardcore porn cant keep me hard. Inducing fetishes. Morning woods weak if even sometimes existing. No interest in real life sex. Masturbation not satisfying. Feeling asexual and unsatisfied even after watching any kind of porn. Quite broken brain complex.

PENILE SENSITIVITY

17-Super sensitive. Just caressing against fat double layer cotton of boxers feels stimulating. Rest is then self explanitory.

22-No feeling whatsoever on the skin.Feels like elbow skin from constant masturbating. Even very hard touch doesnt give stimulation or feeling.


So there you go guys. I know these comparisons are constantly mentioned here and on YBOP but I just wanted to share to also add my story.


9
Losing friends
Becoming asocial
Becoming repulsed or afraid of interacting with people
Not interested in real women
Stressed
Tired
No inspiration
Stamina went to shit gained 10 pounds
Became heavier smoker
Stopped going to college. Stopped having any nights out 2 months ago.
3 years without any kind of physical interaction or emotional interaction with a woman
Lost interest in things like playing guitar,cooking,drawing,all the things that moved me

I look at myself in a mirror and I see a hobo and drug addict only revolving around porn.
I realize the one "me" who was 17 years old with girl who was love of his life,with group of great friends,great social life,great shape,positivity even when shit would hit the fan.

This really isnt life.Time to change things.Really need it.

10
Porn Addiction / If anyone really has bad day just jump in my inbox
« on: August 16, 2015, 03:30:02 PM »
Thanks to people which answered my ask on previous post. Nice to have company.

Now if anyone has suicidal thoughts or waves of serious depression,be free to jump in my inbox. We share the same pain of reboot and since in following days I will be often on forum you can have someone to talk to.

I myself relapsed after 33 days and I feel bad after such an effort. But we must push forward. For sake of our mental and physical health we mustnt give in and go for as long as it takes to reach those 3 months free of porn.

11
Porn Addiction / Any atheist rebooters here?
« on: August 14, 2015, 09:01:39 AM »
If you are,add me on buddy list so we can private chat about all kinds of stuff and kill time during reboots. 

12
Porn Addiction / Chat with urologist.
« on: August 13, 2015, 02:02:13 PM »
I was at urologist. Told him by the way that Im doing this reboot. I told him my whole story,how I ignored real life women and now can only get hard masturbating watching porn and how Ive been 32 days off porn and masturbating. He told me he thinks this is definitely great progress for my mental health and promotes people ending porn addiction and enjoying real life women. Though when I told him I stopped masturbating full stop he got worried.

He told me"I do recommend you to stop porn,but masturbation in moderation,which is 2 times a week is very healthy for both your prostate and testicles. But since you were heavy porn masturbator by your own words,you still need to give your boy some rest. So Id highly recommend you during your reboot to masturbate every 25th day from now on. Use plenty of lube and be very gentle about it. Your body needs to keep making fresh semen. Also use ordinary fantasies about everyday girls while doing it. You will make whole sexual channel in your body ready for it."

So I listened to him. Since I was over 25 days into reboot today I lubricated myself and super slowly masturbated thinking about how I used to kiss my ex gf neck. I dumped the biggest load of my life. It almost felt as good as my first orgasm achieved by sex. I was also rock hard while doing it,so I surely made some progress. So Im settled until another session for 25 days. Gonna keep up and stay far away from porn for sure.

13
Porn Addiction / This is so strange when you are NoFapper
« on: August 10, 2015, 04:28:24 PM »
Here I am 5 weeks of no porn and jerking. My penis and phsycial shape started improving quite well. On the other side,it seems mentally I havent done any noteworthy progress. I still get almost non existent excitement from real life women and interactions with them. Guess dopamine rebalancing is the toughest in this whole story after all.

The thing that really feels strange is how when you hang around guys you keep seeing them getting very aroused looking at girls,talking about all sorts of sexual activity. Everybody around me has quite sexual life. When you NoFap,you realize how faaaar you went out of this whole interaction. You realize while guys talk like their own sex experiences and enjoying women and interacting with them and having sex with them and fantasizing about them. Meanwhile youd think only about your porn scenes and women in porn.

As time goes by,Im really beginning to realize how deep I went into porn world that I completely lost track of any real life sex interactions. Realizing how I dont get a stiffy or an ounce of excitement rush when I see smoking hot latina woman in topless walking around beach right in front of me really shows what porn can do to you as male....

14
After 31 days I feel like my whole penis is getting quite sensitive again. Top of gland skin just touching my boxers feels nice and very sensitive. All my other parts are becoming sensitive also. I remember I used not to feel a single touch on my penis,no matter where I touched,it was super numb. Now its all coming back. I feel like Im 15 again down there,ready to feel pussy.

Though Im still not rewired mentally,and I still need to get my old dopamine paths back,I just wanted to say there is hope your penis will get back to its sensitivity. This is coming from someone who used to stroke it 4 times a day. So if I a super heavy jerker couldve started getting its old sensitivity back,Im sure you will too.

15
So 31st day of 5th reboot. Until now during this reboot I literally started feeling better day by day,getting positivity. And now all of a fucking sudden I get overflown with immense depression and bad thoughts of the past. None of them are connected to porn. They are connected to moments of my past where I got degraded in topics considering women in real life.

Out of fucking nowhere,I remembered my aunt,who was feminist nazi hated by whole family.When she first saw me when I was 13, telling me Im a male scum and how I dont deserve woman and if I ever wish sex I should die and that I must become gay to repent. Then I started analyzing is she right or not and started choking in depression feeling guilty about my sexuality towards women.

Then I remembered my father and mother scolding me for not being able to help my ex gf get job"You are horrible man,how you ever gonna be a husband". This forced me into wave of memories when I disappointed my parents many times and felt even worse.

Then I remembered my same ex,who I loved deeply telling me "You arent real man,you are a coward". Now I feel disgusted and trapped in thoughts about her and feeling guilty.

Then I remembered how I spent so much time on people that didnt respect me and how I indulged in weed and amphetamines, ignoring life jobs.

All these thoughts are eating me and I cant stop overanalyzing. Its like past came back to eat me after all this time. Why after 31 great days and progress do I get this feeling of self disgust but for all the wrong reasons..

16
Porn Addiction / Starting water fasting
« on: August 06, 2015, 06:00:24 AM »
So I started fasting which will last 5 days. Process is first day only raw veg and fruit and juices. Next 3 days ONLY pure water and nothing else. Final day back on veg and fruit and juices.

Ive heard immense amount of promotion towards this. Many rebooters said it immensely sped up their reboot and helped them detoxify body and mind.

DAY 1
Starting today I am only eating 2 bananas,2 carrots a cucumber and 2 apples and fresh grape juice.

Update following.


17
Porn Addiction / For those who smoke weed during reboot
« on: August 05, 2015, 10:11:46 AM »
1.How often do you smoke?
2.Is it indica or sativa?
3.How does it affect you during reboot?
4.Which inhaling method do you use?

18
It just doesnt make sense to delete something that was in you before you started wasting your brain only on porn.

19
Porn Addiction / Lets talk about diet during reboot
« on: July 31, 2015, 01:57:34 PM »
So thought we could exchange our diets and see if they help in progress or make the reboot easier. So here is mine.

Each morning a cup of coffee and also a cup of water in which I put a spoon of honey.
1 banana and glass of pineapple juice throughout the day
For breakfast cereals with lots of dried fruit.
I am very cautious on sugar.
I drink at least 2 liters of water a day.

Now the rest of meals depend.
From meat I only eat chicken,fish and pork. Never fried. Either cooked or baked. I always try and have my meal to be 50% meat,50% vegetable which I also either bake with a bit of oil or cook. I eat lots and I mean lots of cabbage,tomato,carrots,avocado,watermelon,olives,citruses,garlic,onion,broccoli and spinach.They are all said to increase hormone balance.  I eat about 2 pounds of food a day.

Generally this diet style makes me feel good,no stomach problems and also gives nice dosage of energy during reboot so even when youre depressed you still feel energized in a way.

20
Porn Addiction / What a trigger day...
« on: July 30, 2015, 11:17:48 AM »
So today was like very provocative day. Im almost month in reboot,only getting 70% hard morning woods,slight rushes of being turned on but no real proper erection through day. Anyway I got triggered as fuck today.

First I scrolled through TV channels and saw sex scene. Skipped in like 3 seconds to not get triggered. Then I see woman massaging her tits. I realize its no use staying home so I go with couple of friends to beach. There I see a group of 3 women topless. Now through all these trigger encounters I didnt get a stiffy,though I felt my dick tingling. Also I felt this kind of very very light dopamine rush.

Anyway realizing I cant concentrate after few hours,I went home and passing by my neighbours house just to hear my neighbours having sex and wife moaning so sexy telling him to fuck her harder. Like I literally felt I must immediately go home and take ice cold shower and chill the fuck down.

So to conclude this good and bad things. First Im getting slight turn ons just seeing womans body in real life or on pic.Hearing their voice is pleasurable. Like these things werent really expressed when I started my reboot with PIED. So on one side I realize its gonna be super fucking tough making through day not relapsing,but it feels good brain doesnt need ultra brutal porn to get me turned on even a bit.

21
So Im 3 weeks in. I started getting morning wood 70% hard. And last night while sleeping in obviously uncomfortable position with erection I felt pain in dick. When I woke up,several of my veins on penis got swollen probably because of irritation. Does anyone have advice on treatment apart from obviously not touching anything down there?

22
Porn Addiction / Binaural beats are fantastic!
« on: July 23, 2015, 01:13:06 PM »
Started listening to binaural beats (set of radio frequencies which control your brain waves) to fix my biological balance. Ive been listening to them for 8 days and here are improvements which it gave me:
Noticeably reduced stress
Improved sleep
More relaxed
Improved consience
Slightly improved attention span
Removal of some bad memories
Momentary reduce of head pressure
Fatigue decrease
Reduced obsession and lust for porn & masturbation
Aiming thoughts at body improvement

All in all they are good stuff. Its also recommended to drink plenty of water during listening sessions since they tend to dehydrate the body a bit.Give them a try,you will start feeling improvement after 3rd-4th day of usage. It really helps during stress reboot and addiction to porn.

23
Porn Addiction / WTF Experiences occuring in reboot
« on: June 21, 2015, 02:44:04 PM »
So Im 19 days into reboot.
Started waking up with quite solid erections. Though I cant get any throughout the day. Also the most fucked up thing I started having dreams,by it I mean weird dreams. I either dream of
1. Throwing myself into a river,chained to a rock so I can fall to bottom and drown
2. Getting handjob from a "tranny" without my free will,while tied to a bed. Basically raped.
I keep having them. I had them like 5 days in a row already. I wake up and I feel like air flows through my brain. Basically my skull feels empty. Also my dick,even though rock solid when I wake up is completely desensitized. I could touch it with "ice-cold" arm and I dont feel a thing. Through the rest of the day Im completely libido-less. This is really disturbing. I really dont know what else flatline has in for me,but Im certain this is its doing.
 

24
So Im in 12th day of reboot,I lost libido and abbility to get any erection way before entering reboot. Yes,I went to urogolist way back then and he sad physically Im 100% alright and that it must be my brain.So to get that out of way...

Anyway  today I got some very weird things in my penis. I was laying in my bed,studying and all of a sudden i felt something like pinches inside the head of my penis and after it,my penis head started hurting me.While I piss its like it starts stiffing,making urination painful,as if inside of my penis head is inflamed. The rest of penis doesnt hurt,its quite numb actually... I also feel like some pressure-pinches between my balls. What could be the cause?

25
Porn Addiction / Seriously?
« on: June 11, 2015, 02:18:20 PM »
Rebooters saying they must control their dreams and that they somehow must prevent wet dreams,basically block themselves while they are unconcious? What the hell? I mean yeah,I must control my urges concerning my PIED removal while Im awake,and while I can control my body,but the idea of taking pharmaceutical drugs,antidepressants,going on shock therapies to prevent abbility to dream anything,so rebooters couldnt possibly encounter wet dream is like way cross the border.I know PIED destroyed many of us mentally,but some behaviours are really not good for your health during reboot.

While Im awake,for example,I control myself by staying away from porn sources,try to stay as far away from anything sexual,I workout,eat organic food and products,meditating and playing video games and chatting with friends and working. Basically staying natural.Im not gonna try and fry my brain so it stops being active during unconcious state.

I hope people wont start destroying their bodies and mentality even more by unecessary steps during reboot.

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