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Topics - Paddrecon

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Ages 20-29 / Social isolation, visiting hookers of PMO for 120+ days
« on: November 26, 2016, 01:41:17 PM »
Hello guys,

I am back on the boat and managed to go 120+ days without PMO. However in that time I visited escorts several times to satisfy my desire for sex. I was no longer able to get it off with porn and porn did not even elicit an erection from me. Only real girls managed to do that, but I was not able to attract a compatible female due to my lack of a social circle. As of now I literally have no friends that I can get into physical touch since most of them are abroad. 

After I broke up with my girlfriend I had maybe 2 potential girlfriends, yet I was not interested in the first one and the second one sort of ghosted on me again. Now I am struggling to get my master's degree since I extended the duration of my study after failing to defend my thesis on time. I really want to have a normal social life apart from girlfriend, but I cannot and I identify myself as loveshy.

These aside I have been pretty active physically: I went to gym and boxing regularly, enrolled in dance classes, participated in lots of dance nights. I also do one more sport regularly and I do not want to disclose it as it may serve as an identifier.

Sexually my performance has deprived to quite some extend: I can no longer get spontaneous erections, no more wetdreams, no more sensation from masturbation apart orgasm and when I orgasm very little cum comes. I am allergic to eggs and I cannot say I have a solid nutrition program so that may be the culprit. IMO stress is also a big factor in this; I feel like my penis will not ever work again and this drives me to doing crazy things.

I do not PMO anymore, yet I look at porn sometimes and hire escorts occasionally. I am afraid that I may be burning my money, inviting STDs and decreasing my reputation/career. I am in the middle of a vicious cycle and I started counselling with an expert on human sexuality. I would be keen to hear your opinions.

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Ages 20-29 / I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 19, 2015, 06:24:38 AM »
Damn it guys I have relapsed a few minutes ago.  :'( Yesterday night I began to browse for stockings fetish and then I saw some pictures of sexy women in stockings which led me to browse escort-ads then I finally porn. I did not masturbate or touched my dick then, but in the morning I felt an extreme need to browse these pictures and videos again, so I launched my browser and did so. I began to get immense pleasure and could not resist it, but did not stroke myself regularly. However, I came without stroking myself, just by looking at the videos and I felt disgusted about myself after 48 days of abstinence. Let me also remind you that I have a lovely girlfriend with whom I cannot have sex due to erectile dysfunction and she is not happy with it.

I think I relapsed as follows:

  • I get extremely frustrated when I could not get a solid erection and maintain it with my GF.
  • My GF went away for some time and I got very very horny.
  • I was looking at nyloned legs of women on the street, in the campus etc.
  • I said what harm can happen if I just searched stockings fetish.
  • I came across some pictures of women in stocking.
  • I wanted to make REALLY sure my dick worked.
  • The chain got unleashed.
I am really sad and I know that if my GF knew it she would be frustrated too and surprised at the fact that I was able to get off without even touching my penis. I think this justifies my ED as PIED and tells me to work a lot more. Although I could not get erection with my GF and while masturbating myself I felt extremely horny which was contradictory with my situation. Do you anything to suggest? I even thought of visiting an escort although I have a very lovely GF. I really begin to question and hate myself; what is wrong with me? Am I a real addict with no remedy?

[/list]

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Ages 20-29 / No PMO no P forever
« on: November 30, 2015, 09:20:06 AM »
Dear all,

I have started my struggle with quitting porn more than a year ago, and relapsed a few times in this period. In my latest trial I have been abstaining from PMO for 28 days and P/P substitutes for 22 days as of now. I also do not want to sleep with hookers or escorts and I have changed my view about girls. As a result now I have a girlfriend; however I am still having PIED when having sex with her and full intercourse is not that possible. We jerk each other off or perform oral sex on each other. This may also be due to the SSRI medication I have been taking for my anxiety disorder, because I am tapering it off now and things are starting to turn normal. The moral is quitting porn has made my life a lot better and I also began to enjoy regular things instead of spending endless hours in front of the screen looking for a new stimuli.

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Porn Addiction / Guys what do you think about using Tinder?
« on: November 07, 2015, 12:55:24 PM »
Greetings,

What do you think about using Tinder to find potential mates, is it a porn substitute in your opinion?

5
Hello guys,

I am a 24 years old graduate student who had abstained from PMO for 42 days in his first go although he struggled in his second and third trials with 19 an 10 days respectively. After the third trial I had a huge binge that I could not control although my manhood went limp at times I felt the compulsion to watch and masturbate to porn, whether soft porn or hardcore porn. Now my PIED had worsened and I decided to quit all. This decision is a big decision since by quitting I should not only cease porn and porn substitute usage but also alter my lifestyle somehow.  ;)

I found out that my triggers are loneliness, inferior feelings against women and men successful in this regard, browsing escort ads and engaging in prostitution which is actually illegal in my country. Furthermore, depression and feeling down is a major trigger in my case. I am feeling depressed because I cannot see my career path and really bored of academia but do not know what to do. Moreover, I suck at girls since I cannot even attempt to approach and meet them despite receiving psychological counseling for this particular problem for 7 years.    :'(

I really think I have the potential to go out and pursue real girls instead of masturbating at the pixels on the screen. However, the problem is that this addiction sucked my life away since I was 13 and I was a bit socially inept throughout my life. In my university life I made the following pathetic decision: "I will not be able to get a beautiful girl so I should resort to porn and prostitution instead, it is not worth the time, risk and money." I am really struggling to change myself and my view about women. It has been a long post but I felt the need to write it in order to be serious about my endeavor. Any comments are welcome and I will use this post as a diary to keep track of myself apart from the counter.

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Ages 20-29 / Periods of no sexual desire and extreme horniness
« on: May 09, 2015, 12:42:02 PM »
Hello everyone,

Before my latest relapse I had abstained from PMO for 42 days; however, starting with porn substitutes escorts ads, visiting an escort I had a relapse with PMO and to be honest I was relieved. My question is that since I have a digestive track disease I cannot eat well these days and as a result I usually have no libido. Yet at times I feel an extreme horniness and can arrange an escort to have sex with and relieve the urges. Unfortunately due to my shy temper I am not that confident around girls and I cannot find a partner; therefore I think that actually giving up PMO might render me into a strange man who totally lacks the capacity to establish fulfilling relationships with women. As a master's student with a scholarship visiting an escort is a real financial burden and it is not approved in my social circles. What kind of remedy can I seek for? Abstaining completely from masturbation and sex does not seem to be an option.

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Ages 20-29 / Second Relapse with Nonporn
« on: April 21, 2015, 11:38:02 AM »
Greetings,

I am 24 years old and a master's student in a college. I have been trying to give up porn for good and it has been 17 days in my second trial before I relapsed today. The thing is if I do not PMO I got the feeling that I would spend money on a hooker and be done with it. However, it was only pictures of girls wearing stockings on PC and some Jasmin footage on the TV. Should I count this as a relapse? Damn it I am so frustrated with myself I want a real girlfriend but the thing is quitting porn does not seem to improve relationships with girls(in my first trial I went 42 days w/o porn) too much and I feel a great lack of libido. Though this lack of libido might be related with malnourishment due to my gastritis and GERD.  I appreciate your support in getting back on the ship.

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Ages 20-29 / No PMO or PM, I would like to hear your opinion
« on: March 30, 2015, 10:36:02 AM »
These days I have been horny as hell and I thought a quick peek at some lingerie models wearing stockings would not hurt(I have a stockings fetish). Today I looked at many photos and get aroused to some degree, but did not masturbate or orgasm in front of the computer. Later I found a compelling desire to masturbate and masturbate while rubbing myself against the bed without an artificial stimulation. Do you think this is a sort of relapse?

Furthermore, after 40+ days of abstaining from porn I became more successful around women; however, I still think that the sexy women I desire will have no interest in me and I have no choice but to look at these photos online. I did not ever have a girlfriend and I am getting aroused by even women in skirts which scares the hell out of me. Therefore I was seeing escorts, but I also quit that. Now I do not have any other option than finding a partner to have sex with, yet I think the odds are against me. I would like to hear you ideas and suggestions.

Thanks

9
Greetings everyone,

I have read most of the articles, user responses on YBOP and decided the quit porn cold-turkey. So far it has been 31 days that I last watched porn and I am dedicated to quit it forever. In that 31 days I masturbated and orgasmed regularly and even had an encounter with an escort that I hired. In that experience I got a really hard boner; however, my ejaculation was really delayed. Furthermore, I was socially awkward around girls and this seems to be changing also. Can someone tell his/her opinion on this matter and if it is normal? Note that I had been masturbating to porn since the age of 13 and I only had sex with hookers and escort on a pretty scattered basis.

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Ages 20-29 / Reboot Journal After a Week
« on: February 25, 2015, 06:16:40 PM »
Greetings everyone,

I have been rebooting since the last Monday without P or P substitutes and have been successful until now. I am dedicated to finish the 90 days and your support will be indispensable in the process. Urges are still present but they are abating and I am beginning to establish nicer relationships with girls, actually I began to harbor some feelings for my classmate which seems a bit awkward in my opinion. Furthermore, I began to quit seeing women as sex objects only and I began to be much more productive.

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Levitra for PIED
« on: February 22, 2015, 06:13:53 PM »
Hello I am a recovering porn addict and it would be a great help for me if I see my penis erect firmly once again while having sex with a real women. Due to my ED problems I have been to my urologist and he said before penis ultrasonography I should try Levitra 10 mg once per week to see how it affects me. He especially advised me to take it 30 min. before intercourse takes place. I am really eager to try this medicine and would be eager to pay a hooker to have sex just for the sake of trying it, if it works I will gain a tremendous amount of self-esteem and if it does not I would not be bothered that much. After reading the prospectus of the medicine I was startled as it had really severe side effects including heart attack and death. I am thinking trying the pill by myself one day and manually stimulate myself without porn and masturbate to see its effect before trying it with a real partner. What do you think of my situation? Any comments and/or suggestions are welcome.

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Porn Addiction / What does PMO exactly mean?
« on: February 19, 2015, 05:03:59 AM »
Hello guys,

I am pretty confused about the abbreviations used on this site such as no PMO does it mean no masturbation to porn that results with an orgasm or no masturbation, no porn, no orgasm? Likewise PM and MO are also confusing, I would like to get pointed in the right direction.

Thanks

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Ages 20-29 / Getting back to normal with no P or P substitutes
« on: February 18, 2015, 11:18:25 AM »
Hello everyone,

I am a 24 year-old male with a 12 years of porn addiction that really got me hooked while I was 14 years-old. I want to get rid of this problem and have regular sex or masturbation without the aid of any material. Is it okay or should I abstain from masturbation, orgasm and sex too? I want to have regular sex whether it is with my partner, girlfriend or a hooker. I would also like to masturbate occasionally. Will it disturb my recovery process? I am mainly experiencing porn-induced ED and brain fog. Thanks

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Porn Addiction / Porn Addiction, Ruined Social and Work Life
« on: February 17, 2015, 05:12:28 AM »
Greetings everyone,

I am a 24 years-old male and I have been using porn for 12 years and I started at the age of 12. When I was 14 I got really hooked up in porn and I masturbated to porn 2-3 times every day of the week. Later I switched from pictures to videos and developed stockings and pantyhose fetishism which is a nice fetish I presume, but when people heard of this they were looking as if I was some kind of pervert. When I was 16 years old I fell in love with one of my classmates and I was always getting boners around her, yet I was too ashamed to tell her that I love her and would like to have some intimacy with her due to feelings of guilt. I would also like to note that this limerance lasted for about 6 years. By the way sexuality has never been talked in the family and my father was bit of a pious man, so he avoided these topics at all cost which got interpret by me as sex is a dirty thing and only married people are allowed to have sex. At the age of 22, I decided to have sex with a real woman and thinking only option was paid sex I rented an escort service. I went to the escort girl's home and I had told her to wear stockings for me beforehand. I was getting erections with the idea that I was going to have sex for the first time ever and while I was talking to her on the phone. When I was at her place and be began having sex it was a shame I nearly could not get any pleasure and I had trouble keeping it up. Then I said the porn had to do something with this, but continued watching it keeping bookmarks of pages on false Gmail accounts etc. Last year I abstained from porn before going abroad for 1 month and 2 months abroad and I think it paid off. I went to the Red Light District of the city I was in and got it on with various hookers on a weekly basis and it was great fun, but I exhausted most of my money. When I returned to my hometown I relapsed back into my porn addiction and I am having trouble quitting it right now and interferes with all aspects of my life. I used to be a really successful person academically, though I always sucked in social relationships and especially with girls. Now I began to suck at everything I cannot concentrate on my lessons, I cannot have fruitful relationships, I cannot find a partner etc. etc. and I am pursuing a master's degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering with additional duties of a teaching assistant and a research assistant.  Furthermore, I developed IBS(Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and this also lowers my self-esteem a great deal and I can no longer get aroused by seeing a hot girl nor watching various porn videos on different tabs. After returning to my hometown, I paid for sex twice and both of them were not satisfying since I had trouble maintaining firm erections and I was nagged by the prostitute due to that. My penis was nearly numb and I had no explanation for that. I have been to various psychologists and psychiatrists previously and now I am sticking with one therapist. She suggested that I should go and see an urologist, which I did. The urologist prescribed me the medicine Levitra and the horny goat supplement which I have been using for 4 days. In order to see if I benefited from this supplement I tried masturbating to porn again since I have no partner, but the feelings were not good. I have never had a girlfriend and I think that being as horny as me I should be able to get a few girls which is much better than porn. In order to get girls, I have been taking dance classes for about 4 years since 99% of my colleagues are males and we need to work hard in order to survive. However, I cannot notice if a particular female fancies me or not and I have(and had) all the opportunities to have a good sex life since I live alone(used to live alone when I was undergraduate too) in a studio apartment. But I cannot invite girls over and I am always afraid that if we have sex I may have erectile disfunctions. I am feeling like a worthless piece of junk and these problems have been bugging me since adolescence. I would like to hear your suggestions and stories together with the ups and downs of your life to get encouraged. It has been a long text and I appreciate those people who have read it.

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