Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - ntg

Pages: [1]
1
Success Stories / 50 days no PMO, some advice if you're just starting out
« on: February 11, 2015, 02:09:25 PM »
Well, my computer's monitor recently stopped working, so I was not able to get online here for a while.  Also, my business has been going very slowly, not making enough, so I'm having to start a job and work on my own PT.  I'm definitely not giving up on my dream though, and staying strong.  I hope all of you are doing well and staying strong.  Won't be able to devote as much time to this website as in the past as I won't be working from home any longer for a little while.  I'm still going strong with no PMO, and feeling really good.  Porn does not even tempt me anymore at this point.  I get cravings now (I'm at day 50), but not for porn, just for sexual intimacy, which I think is healthy.  I cannot always act on these desires, so I still workout or read or something until I am in a place where I can.

For those of you starting out, I'd like to offer a few tips that have helped me get this far:

1. Focus on your life and your goals, not on how long it's been since you PMO'd last.  Let porn become something that's in your rearview mirror of life.

2. When you're tempted to look at porn, read about the real-life porn stars who tell about their experiences when not behind the camera, at http://www.thepinkcross.org - it really has a way of dehumanizing the whole industry and leaves you with this sick feeling about porn, which is a good thing, because it really is sick - that is reality.

3. Get involved in helping others on this site, especially when you're first starting out.  I've seen a lot of blogs on here, where not many people post to them, because the people who post them don't post on others' blogs.  Reach out to others first, and they will reach out to you as well.  Get that feeling of brotherhood or sisterhood from this website and others like it.

4. Focus on meeting people in real life; go out and date, or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then learn how to approach women.  Oftentimes, men use porn as a way of ignoring the fact that they don't feel comfortable approaching and talking with women (I"ve done this in the past as well).  Instead, be real with yourself and learn what you need to know in order to deal with your ignorances and fix yourself, instead of ignoring your limits.

5. Don't use other things besides porn in order to stay away from porn; don't use video games, movies, etc. because it will just keep giving your bran a dopamine fix, and will keep you in that phase where you'll keep feeling withdrawls.  Best way is to stop doing all the fake stuff, realizing that it is just that, fake, and that you must surround yourself with reality if you are to get well.  Face life, face your fears, feel the feelings you are trying to ignore and pretend do not exist, and you will no longer be subject to them.

Lastly, I have posted this URL I don't know how many times, but it really is one of the best eye-openers and pieces of advice out there, I believe, so check out this post by Underdog:

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0

I will keep coming back here and posting when I can.  Everyone stay strong and keep fighting for what you want in life!

Nate

2
Thought you guys would find this interesting; these facts are from the document found here: https://www.thepinkcross.org/sites/default/files/ccv.pdf

The following are excerpts from the Introductory Summary:

Date: Summer of 1986

Dr. Judith Reisman, principal investigator for the study entitled, "Children, Crime, and Violence in the Pictorial Imagery of Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler" testified on the findings before the United States Attorney General's Commission on Pornography on November 21, 1985.  Visual images of children in sexual and violent contexts were analyzed in 683 issues of the three adult magazines beginning with Playboy's initial December 1953 issue through Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler issues of December 1984.  Researchers counted children in cartoons or photgraphs, and references to children in cartoon/photograph captions.

-Each cartoon or photograph was examined for characteristics of child or adult depected, the activities in which the child was involved, the nature of the activity, and the state of dress or undress of the child.  Pseudo-children (adults dressed and posed as children) and any discrepant body features, such as oversized breasts on a small child's frame, were also noticed.

-The study identified three basic themes: nonsexual, nonviolent activities such as memories; violent activities such as murder, maiming or surgical procedures; and sexual activities such as intercourse or a child appearing nude.

-A total of 6,004 photographs, illustrations, and cartoons depicting children appeared in the 683 magazines.  Hustler depicted children most often, an average of 14.1 times per issue, followed by Playboy (8.2 times per issue) and Penthouse (6.4 times per issue).

-Findings include the following
   -1,675 child images were associated with nudity
   -1,225 child images were associated with genital activity
   -989 child images were associated sexually with adults
   -792 adults were portrayed as pseud-children
   -592 child images were associated with force
   -267 child images were associated with sex with animals or objects
   -51% of the child cartoons and 46% of the child photographs showed children age 3-11
   -More girls than boys were associated with sexual assault
   -More boys than girls were associated with violent assault

...........

I wonder if such a study was done these days, what would be found?

Food for thought.

3
Porn Addiction / porn has taken so much from us, let's take some back
« on: January 14, 2015, 05:32:22 PM »
Hey all,

I originally posted the following in my journal, and someone suggested I put it here, for everyone to be able to see, and have a chance to join in on, if you're interested, join the pledge, and comment below to show you're doing it.

___

I had an excellent idea today, and I want to share what I've committed to.  If I do relapse, not only will I reset my counter, but I will do my part to destroy the porn industry, while at the same time, helping to keep myself committed to this journey with some risk of pain if I do not.

Here's my idea:

Whenever I relapse, I will donate $25 to the Pink Cross Foundation (https://www.thepinkcross.org/page/what-pink-cross)

This will both help to ensure that the porn industry is being destroyed one former performer at a time, as well as keeping me honest, because I will know I have to fork over $25 if I don't stay strong.

I think this is a great way to give ourselves motivation as well as helping to put an end to porn.

I never saw a problem with porn, beyond the fact that it had messed up my life, before I began reading accounts of former porn stars, many of whom got started in the business, unwillingly by child sex acts.  I think I've missed this part of why porn cannot be an option.

Not only are we affected because our brains get fucked up.

Not only are we affected because we damage the relationships we're in.

Not only are we affected because we get desensitization problems.

But, in addition, the porn stars themselves usually end up committing suicide and are unbelievably miserable.

The porn industry likes to make all these things hidden and make it seem all glamorous and innocent and fun, but it's not for us affected by it, and it's not for those trapped in it.

So, this is my commitment, I hope you guys will also consider this, so we can fund the fight on porn.

4
Porn Addiction / jelqing, kegels, & stamina practice during a reboot?
« on: January 04, 2015, 12:14:57 PM »
I don't really know where to put this post, but this seemed like the best place from what I could tell.

For the last few months, before I joined this site and found YBOP, I was doing a ton of kegels, and I would usually do them to P, because it would motivate me to actually do them.  I was doing around 200 3-5 ct reps, followed by about 10 1-2 min reps.  I was feeling really strong.  Now since the reboot, because I've not wanted to look at anything P related, I have not been doing kegels.

I also have been heavily involved in jelqing and stretching my cock for a while now, and found that this really helps to give me more full erections.  When I was heavily into jelqing and kegels, I usually had no problems getting hard, but when I was more lax, it would be more difficult.

I think this is because of the PIED syndrome, but I only know that now, looking backwards.

About 3 times per week, I would M but not to P, and only in order to work on my stamina.  I would focus on moving my sexual energy around in my body and on squeezing my PC muscle in order to delay O for as long as I wanted.

So, my question is, is anyone else into kegels and jelqing/stretching, and stamina practice?  And if so, how do you include it into your reboot?

5
Ages 30-39 / 36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs
« on: December 22, 2014, 08:44:54 PM »
I'm 36, and got heavily into porn use as a result of being molested as a kid.  Been to therapy for the molestation, which I have handled, I think, but stayed into porn, because I had no idea it was a huge problem, until I happened to see a Google link for Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction.  I remember clearly that when I was a kid (12 apx), and had just been introduced to porn via the molestation shit, I was always rock hard, had no trouble whatsoever getting or remaining hard.  As the years progressed, I felt intense shame & guilt for looking at porn.  When I'd cum (which I'd try to delay as long as possible), I would feel like I had physically became utterly ugly, like my head was smaller, I was weaker, etc., etc.  I don't know how much of this was because of the molestation stuff vs. the porn use.  Anyway, as the years progressed, and I kept watching/looking at porn, I did notice, and take a mental note of the fact that I seemed to compare every sexual encounter I had with something I had seen in porn.  I would try to re-create some scene, or I would try to feel good about myself by making the girl I was with do the same things I saw the girl do in the porn video.

Now, fast forward about 15 years into the future, and I began to notice that I was seriously having trouble getting an erection when I was with any woman, no matter if I considered her hot or not.  At first I thought it was the girl, maybe she wasn't the one for me; but then I noticed that even girls I was really into, were not able to give me an erection, or if I did get one, I couldn't keep it without really trying hard, and usually caused myself to have Premature Ejaculation as a result.

At 36 now, I've been trying different stuff to cure my sporadic ED; I say sporadic, because I can get an erection just fine if I'm on my own, but when I'm with a girl, I'm not really nervous, but it almost feels like I've disassociated from the event.  I don't know if any other guys have experienced this or not, but I feel like I'm actually not there, I feel like I'm watching myself trying to get turned on, almost like I'm watching myself in a porn video, and I feel I have to perform - she's keeping score kind of thing.  It totally removes all intimacy and connection from the experience and it becomes just this weird view of where I look at sex almost as if it's not even real anymore.

So, I found yourbrainonporn.com today, and this has really opened my eyes, seeing what other guys are posting, and it's starting to click, that porn really probably has actually made me less sensitive to real women, so I'm committed to getting rid of it.

Reading how other people have been through similar problems is really helping me to get encouragement I need, and I really want to do this, and want to use this site to get support and give other guys support too.  I really want to take back my sex life and make it what it's really supposed to be about, which I think is passion and connection, not just mindless sex.

Thanks for reading.  Not looking forward to the journey, but I am looking forward to the result.

Pages: [1]