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Topics - Johnny Trailer

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Ages 20-29 / JJJJ
« on: September 28, 2019, 01:34:26 PM »
    I haven't tried journaling in months. Here I am one more time.

    Today I relapsed. True belief of not being able to quit masturbation and porn crossed my mind again today. It rarely crosses my mind, even though I relapse and struggle for the last 5 years. I always get back to hope that its possible for me to finally quit. Hope to quit started to feel like another path for relapse. Not every day relapses but every day up to every week or even sometimes 2 or 3 weeks streaks.

    I'm confused. This is not just quitting porn, this is something I always failed to do or avoided to do. I always looked at achieving something to be series of small steps. That's how I got myself fit. I did not started running 5x per week. I started with brisk walking. Few years later I ran a half marathon. Starting with brisk walk and unable to run more than few hundred meters, I ended up running half marathon. This addiction seems to take too much away from me at once. I'm struggling and suffering for 5 years now. Its constant struggle with very few breaks. Seems like I have to make bunch of changes really quickly and immediately. Doing something small or step by step is not gonna make me quit porn. Not after 5 years at least. I'm hardcore addict btw. I have strong PIED although its not as strong to prevent me from erection when I'm PMOing. PIED and erections at all (spontaneous, morning wood etc.) are the absolute least of my concerns. The lack of everything mental and emotional is my main suffering... But its caused by physical changes on the brain so it got its physical element to it. 

    I don't know what I'm gonna do. I do know though that I have to take drastic measures. There are no baby steps with this. Where do I find strength, courage and energy to take big steps and stick with them? I have no idea.

    After 5 years of relapsing I discovered these things that I must do personally, that are big big big and impossible steps to take all at once and for 3-4 months consistently (daily).

    -No alcohol at all. No birthdays, new years eves, nothing religious, no party, no beer fest nothing at all. No reason to drink, no hanging out or everybody drinking around me. Nothing is a bait for alcohol. This alone to do for 3-4 months is impossible, I never did it in the last 10 years.

    -Learning something new every day. I don't remember when I intentionally looked up to learn something new. I use internet daily and still I learn something new only when I stumble upon it, I must or I have strong passion to learn it. I think this is very good for the brain physically and its lingering in my mind that I should learn at least 1 new thing every single day of my life or at least during reboot.

    -This one is also impossible. Even more impossible than not drinking for 4 months. I must get outside of my social comfort zone, every single day. I must get comfortable with girls, or rather very very very uncomfortable. I must approach at least 5 girls every day and try to have any type of contact with them. I must replace porn with real girls. It may lead to rewiring, it may lead to a intimate relationships but for the start I must replace porn with any type of real offline contact with real girls.

    -Being extremely aware of all my PC and phone use, every single time (daily). I must use internet very specifically even if it is for entertainment. Watching UFC fights is okay, recording video games is okay but just wondering aimlessly on youtube is total NO. I wonder online and it always leads to triggers and just pure exposure to constant novelty that is same with porn use.

    -Daily exercise. I do exercise from time to time. I will never get out of shape, I will always stay ready to run 10k but doing daily cardio and stretching is something I never done, even when I ran half marathon. People ask me how I'm so fit with so little training but its all about eating for performance. Food can be fuel even if its not healthy. Which leads to next thing I must do.

    -I MUST become a cook. There is no way I'm gonna eat clean outside or expect clean food from my family. They don't even know what is healthy food. What I eat is what I become so I must become a cook if I want to eat healthy foods and experience true health (mostly brain-wise for this reboot). Even though I really really don't like cooking.

    -Daily meditation. I must meditate daily, something I hate doing. Most of the things on this list I hate doing, some things I like but definitely don't like doing them daily. This one thing is so simple and easy but so hard and difficult to do daily. I am under no illusion that I have no time to do anything I want to do in my life so this one bothers me a lot. I hate it even though its something so beneficial and simple to do.

    -Daily cleaning. Being clean and tidy is form of meditation for monks. Clean living environment means clean mind and tidy mind. I need to clean my room, house or backyard daily to stay clean and organized in the mind. It also lets go of the ego, very interesting idea promoted by monks but I know personally that I need to be tidy and have a clean environment if I want to be tidy and clean in my head. Can't live in mess and be at peace.

    -To do list. I must have a to do list every single day and follow it. To do list can have list of things that are related to this list of things but I must have a list of things to do to be productive and on my path to recovery. I can not allow myself a free time of wondering and slipping back to my current self. [/li]

Doing ANY of these things, especially comfort zone expansion, is impossible for me to think about now.

I'm kind of glad I wrote this journal to put it into perspective. I never thought of these things in this type of list.

Ages 20-29 / WHATSAPP GROUP for nofap members
« on: September 03, 2019, 03:04:13 PM »
join us, share your experience, find companions and get motivated to stay on track. its whatsapp group for nofap, we welcome everyone who is about to quit fapping forever!!

join us, share your experience, find companions and get motivated to stay on track. its whatsapp group for nofap, we welcome everyone who is about to quit fapping forever!!

Porn Addiction / WHATSAPP GROUP for nofap members
« on: September 03, 2019, 02:52:58 PM »
join us, share your experience, find companions and get motivated to stay on track. its whatsapp group for nofap, we welcome everyone who is about to quit fapping forever!!

Ages 20-29 / success
« on: August 14, 2019, 03:33:18 PM »
i just saw my crush in a supermarket. my crush is more than a girl i would like to just meet. my crush is a girl i would like to meet that kind of "tells", with the way she looks and acts towards me, that she feels the same way. my crush crushes me every time i see her because i dont act, i just dont approach and introduce myself, ask about aliens or anything really. i just die inside because im a big weenie.

this is where success part comes in. its not that i approached her, introduced myself, took her number or anything similar. i managed to recognize how much i despise myself in the moment and i asked myself if i could approve/love/accept myself because i am this way? its like i had an insight that approaching girls or doing anything outside of your comfort zone is really about loving yourself more. im really into meeting girls so its a dying feeling every time i see a girl and dont react, especially if she shows some "tells" that she is interested in me too (whatever "tells" i perceive to be true). thats like suicidal feeling afterwards. all the hate i have for myself just comes out firing at me.

going outside of my comfort zone (picking up girls for example) is just really about loving myself more and being okay with myself. its not about the outside going ons, its what going on inside. im so glad i caught myself. if i can love myself the way i am, that would mean even more than approaching girls because it would stay with me and i could do whatever i want if i knew i had love/approval whatever is the outcome. it would also be consistent, because the first time i would fail to pick up a girl or go outside of my comfort zone i would be back at hating myself, which is not good at all.

i dont know if you have this experience. do you hate yourself for engaging almost exclusively in known/comfortable day to day activities (struggling can feel known/comfortable)? does failing to go outside of your comfort zone leaves you feeling stuck and miserable? in other words, do you hate yourself when you fail to do something you really want to do, that causes you a lot of fear or anxiety?

i think approaching and meeting girls is a big part of me quitting porn. just reconnecting and rewiring with the real girls would be huge for me personally, thats why i have this example but i think loving yourself can be applied to everything else.

Porn Addiction / give up
« on: August 04, 2019, 02:42:44 PM »
i never considered this but i may give up. this is the first time this ever crossed my mind. i think im too hard on myself, not having a giving up as an option may be a problem for me. i cant quit, that looks clear as day. not having a giving up option is really a dead end situation for me that makes every relapse more depressing.

i lost an ability to think lately. lately is a last year or so. i dont feel functional at all. i cant operate as a human being on a regular day to day basis. not giving up is just foolish. now that i wrote it i felt like i would still not give up in the end. even if i give up its not really giving up its just like a me being open to being a loser in the end and not having a tunnel vision towards being winner in the end.

not everyone is supposed to win. some win some lose. i might lose. if there is positive there must be negative. nobody chooses negative but its just the way it is. maybe i should embrace the depression and a wasted lifetime. i didnt choose my hair color, my birth year, place, name, height, family members etc. maybe i dont even choose my purpose. maybe im supposed to "waste" my lifetime. somebody got to live shitty life after all. that is a fact im facing.

its not only porn addiction. my sober days are getting less and less frequent. i smoke a cigarettes or two when im drunk too. i got fat. even if i was not a porn addict it would not be okay. this PIED and absolute non controllable compulsion to isolate myself with the screen is just something that came first.

Ages 20-29 / changed for good and how maybe you could too
« on: July 08, 2019, 05:09:58 PM »
i changed for good. for real good. no more suicidal thoughts, no more depression, no more self hate. im sooo much more alive last couple of weeks. its here to stay for sure, it does not go away. its not a day or two, or a week thing. its not just a hype (positive thinking and visualization which always ends up in a crash and endless loop of bouncing from rock bottom back and forth).

people around me sometimes askin if i been drinking or something because i feel and act like im perfectly drunk (not too much, nor wishing for another sip). actually i stopped drinking 3 weeks ago. i been drinking for a year or so pretty regularly so they automatically think im drinking when i feel and act relaxed and socially engaged, loud and clear and energetic.

my problem was the absolute hate i felt towards myself for a decade. every day i wanted a mma match against myself. i wanted to absolutely rearrange my face. just a horrible existence day in and day out. i was never a fan of positive thinking. i always thought thats just lying myself and i always kept it real with myself. i really really like that i always try to keep it real with myself. pursuing six packs, good clothes and shit like that was never my goal for self acceptance because its just an outside thing and i hated myself from the inside. i thought wanting all that outside thing is even more dumb because it has nothing to do with me loving myself more its just about others approving of me more. just another bullshit.

so with positive thinking and six pack abs, success, more money and all that crap out of the picture, i started thinking how i can really truly love myself without looking for outside approval and without bullshitting myself. it seemed impossible for a long time. im not gonna say to myself good things and look for positive things in myself if i feel suicidal. i love keeping it real, i aint never changing that. so there i figured out solution. i tried loving myself exactly as i am. im not lying that im smart, good looking, good guy. not everyone can be all pretty, confident, determined, generous man or woman. a lot of us are plain dumb fucks, ugly ass bitches, cheats, liars and straight up failures. fuck trying to paint a good picture when at the core its fake and its just a facade trying to fool yourself. fake it till you make it they say, which can be true for some things but not for self love. self love must be true from the start or it falls apart as soon as you hit the next curb.

i figured i dont really need to be good, smart, pretty, successful, porn free or anything..... such a burden off my soul. it actually took relatively really short time of trying to love myself exactly as i am, to change tremendously. from rock bottom suicidal guy who absolutely truly and very passionately despise himself, i became average joe or maybe even little above average, in 3 weeks. i would say in 3 days actually, because i felt such a difference after those 3 days that i just lost the motivation to keep going and enjoyed new me since then but im not done yet. its going to be an ongoing process. i feel like there is no end to this. i see people with huge capacities for self acceptance and i see a lot of room to improve.

ironically i started to think 200% more positively about myself without trying. i dont think im dumb anymore, i think im intelligent and its real to me. i may not be so smart, i dont know a lot of things like other people, i never liked school, i dont read a lot of books, but im intelligent. im honest, i know whats important and what is distraction. being fat is no longer such a big deal. the type of food i eat became more valuable point of focus, not # of pounds. i lost couple of pounds in these 3 weeks, without trying. i stopped drinking. when i talk with people im so much sharper. im loud and clear and social. no more afraid to make a sound.

i changed big time, without dealing with porn addiction and i see a lot more clearly where and how porn addiction affects me. porn addiction was the root of evil for me until i figured that despising yourself day in and day out cant be good either and maybe trying to change that could be a smart way to go about life in general, not just porn addiction. i still fuck up with relapses, im just an average joe, but holy gods its another world. now i totally understand average joes. i understand how they have the will to live and how the obstacles in life dont bother them for too long. they cant grasp idea of suicide. simple interactions, hanging out, goals and shit like that is fun. my voice is total shit and i occasionally sing sometimes. must be weird for my family to see me like this. my mother changed and is more engaging with me, we never talked too much for too long. i find family more fun to hang around. i just wanna fucking jump from my chair sometimes and sing and dance and laugh. im no more that guy who indirectly brings everyone down with so low energy and total unwillingness to joke around. now we laughing our ass off at least once a day in my house.

i been on a such a low ride for such a long time i could easily live for life with occasional relapses and PIED, happier than a lot of people without porn addiction. still thats not an option and its still hard but it feels more possible. also i see where porn addiction is bugging me, it really does not makes me suicidal. i was making myself suicidal. i thought porn addiction was the really root of everything because if my brain is fucked, im fucked too. there was no point in working on something besides healing my brain if im fucked up in the brain. yes there is disbalance in the brain, sleeping is worse, energy is sometimes lower, sometimes you dont feel like hanging out with people, sometimes im dizzy for few days after relapse. i have panic attacks. that is porn addiction, those are symptoms that are going away and cravings are coming in with time away from porn. the line between me sabotaging myself and porn addiction sabotaging myself is clearer.

i also learned that accepting something you think is bad about yourself, does not make you complacent. it elevate the suffering and shows you whether or not thats even a problem in the first place, and if it is, it gets you going in the right direction instead of just being stuck with it.

loving yourself BECAUSE you are the way you are, NOT because you will change, is a game changer. we cant all be nice people, we have so much insecurities and lack so many good things in our character, its ridiculous to hate or dont like yourself for it.

Ages 20-29 / starting again
« on: June 05, 2019, 04:48:40 PM »
okay im gonna start again. it cant hurt i guess. another journal, i havent done one in a while. i dont know what im gonna write but im gonna write something. i have no special title for this journal because this reboot does not feel any different than 100s of others i previously failed. yes i relapsed 100s of times. i know some people are like "keep going i failed 30 times before recovering" but not me. when i recover its gonna be like... i dont even know let me think about it... holy crap around 1000-1500 times. i used calculator for this one because its been years and i fail multiple times a day sometimes so its hard to calculate it in my head. sometimes i relapse in the morning and then i feel determined "like never before" not to do it ever again and fail by the evening of the same day. no wonder i wanna kill myself. over thousand relapses...

my last relapse was on june 3rd. that was 2 days ago. its close to midnight so its gonna be 3 days soon. i started this journal because i realized i have no accountability partner and this can make me more determined to quit. i guess someone will read and the more people are reading i may feel more obliged to keep going when the going gets tough.

....i just wrote a big post shitting on my life, how bad it is. i realized i feel bad when i do that so i deleted it. maybe i will start mixing something good with something bad but its too late now to write another story so good night everyone. 

Porn Addiction / excluding PIED
« on: May 20, 2019, 06:56:44 PM »
i know PIED is the main reason most of us recognized we are addicted to porn. excluding PIED, does anyone feel porn affected them?

i became a lot less active because all the talk is about penises. morning wood, spontaneous erections and sex performance are the very least worry in my book of porn addiction negative effects so i wonder if anyone feel like porn affected his memory, focus, sleep, motivation, energy, socializing, enjoyment etc.? something outside of sex life.

Porn Addiction / back in the 80s
« on: May 18, 2019, 05:05:54 PM »
im watching only fools and horses and i think to myself what an awesome time it was. imagine having no internet, no mobile phones and no cable tv. people were really living it. now its a big deal to get 100 likes on instagram picture, back then it was a thing to approach a girl in a club.

for the last few months i got myself old nokia 3310 but im still so far away from having a real 80s experience. i cant ever get it. it was really good time to socialize and hang out with people without notifications distracting every interaction. there must be a real positive reason i was born in such a new, high tech and pornified age though.

this post is a waste, im just rumbling to myself really. its not against the rules so i guess im good.

Ages 20-29 / i would just like to
« on: January 07, 2019, 06:26:47 PM »
i would just like to quit porn. is that too much to strive for? i mean do i have to really suffer, strive, plan, give my best and fail every time for that? for years? come on, can i catch a break?

this is not a joke and shit, why cant i fucking quit after years of struggling? half a decade is not enough to stop porn addiction?

you know what, i been warned here and my post got deleted for posting on someone's post because original poster did not wanted any responses (only private messages maybe). now i request that same shit and wonder if its gonna come to fruition. do not post anything because i can sense some advice coming and my automatic response is to imaginary smash that someone's jaw. to pieces. after years of struggle the last thing i need is some advice, like i cant find some.

Porn Addiction / happy new year
« on: January 01, 2019, 04:12:34 AM »
happy new year and i wish you easy hangover.

Ages 20-29 / i cant believe im the most active member of this forum
« on: December 25, 2018, 05:18:55 PM »
i cant believe im the most active member of this forum. i feel very average in terms of everything, to think that im THE MOST ACTIVE guy here buffles me. i dont have any meetings, friends or institution to help me with porn addiction so this is pretty much it but still... its not like there are 10 members here. im the most active among 10000+ members. that is absolutely wicked. i also average only 1 post per day, pretty average for a guy who have nowhere to go and struggles with porn addiction. today yesterday and so on i posted multiple posts per day so who knows how many days i was away and still... im in the big lead. its weeeiirdd

im doing very good this time. im doing 15 days. maybe i figured it out this time because i figured something out. only time will tell if what i figured out works and if i succeed i will share my recipe. i feel responsible to succeed, being the guy with the all time most posts. if the most active guy here does not quit porn and succeeds what is the point of this forum.

yesterday i felt the dullest in my life. its a lot worse then feeling suicidal or deeply depressed. i know that because i felt both, multiple times. i think thats because i dont indulge in any form of thinking about PMO and when i think about it i cause pain to myself to redirect my attention and at the same time associate PMO/MO with pain, so i automatically think less about PMOing or MOing. i felt so bad and dull that i thought my brain cant possibly keep feeling so dull for longer than 24h and it was true. i felt better today afternoon. it does not mean i will not feel even worse, im only 15 days and this time im going very professional about it. the more serious you are about reboot, the worse you feel because you dont allow any slip ups and less slip ups is less "food" for the brain which means harder withdrawals.

you can only read and listen about withdrawal symptoms and struggles of reboot but to experience it is another thing completely.

to end this post. again. im the most active guy here. imagine if you were one. i feel exactly the same. tha fuck. i need to show you whats up and how to quit this. if i quit this time, being the most active is gonna pay off because the last concept for quitting is actually coming from some other member here and if i was not so active i would have missed it because there are so many posts here every day.

Ages 20-29 / 10 days withdrawal symptoms
« on: December 20, 2018, 12:52:11 PM »
im 10+ days in.

- my brain fog and thinking is out of the window. my colleague broke some glass on work today and before i picked it up i took of my gloves. i do stupid shit like that all the time and feel like total retard.
- i meditated turned off all sounds for 10 mins today and realized how shallow im breathing. i felt big fear like fear of death, i felt panic. im anxious all the time.
- im sweating but im cold. like am i recovering from heroin or something.
- i remember when i was worried about flatline, morning wood, spontaneous erections, first time i was rebooting. i progressed a lot since then. i progressed a lot deeper into addiction even while PMOing around 3x less frequently due to constant fighting to quit, never giving up. no matter how much i cut on PMO withdrawals and addiction is only getting worse. 
- yesterday i woke up scared to death, i had huge nightmare that turned into panic attack i couldnt move for few seconds. basically woke up dead.
- constantly fatigued but cant sleep good at night so i need a nap every day.

panic attacks caused me to visit doctors and check myself from head to feet on 2 different occasions, some time ago. i couldnt connect it to withdrawal i thought i was dying. i kind of feel its all withdrawal again since obviously im rebooting and got myself to double digits again but symptoms never fail amaze me and scare me and make me question if life is worth living.

Ages 20-29 / idk
« on: November 17, 2018, 10:14:19 AM »
after todays relapse im really tired of being tired. im not even tired, im done. i know people would say oh he only had 26 years but live in isolation for a decade and how many years you have does not matter. i have nobody around me that i can say "yo, i am fucked up, i need serious help, change of scenery, or im gone". there is no person like that for me. not even close.

im just expressing my current depression because i have to somewhere. there is no option to block it but i would like for nobody to reply i dont need that. i dont need online support it does not mean anything.

imma drink some beer install some video game and play and hopefully feel better. yadayadayada bad idea i know everything so cut it.

really not replying is the best support i could get.  i just need to lash out and miss everyone. im tired of offline "you struggling to quit? why you struggle, keep watching then and just forget about it" and online "go to bed earlier, socialize yada yada yada" its all BULLSHIT, its agitating and it does not help.

Ages 20-29 / truly pissed off
« on: November 04, 2018, 05:47:28 PM »
just wanna let you that im truly pissed off at this.

Ages 20-29 / 10 days
« on: September 06, 2018, 03:01:55 PM »
double digits!! prodao sam danas nekih memorija ram zato imam kesa da varim ceo dan.

im 10 days clean like a whistle. applaud to that. what an achievement, bow down.

Ages 20-29 / crying and breaking things?
« on: August 22, 2018, 12:25:32 PM »
i been crying and breaking things today. i get soooo easily pissed off its not even possible for you to realize it. it happens when im alone though. its impossible to get this nuts around people i guess its just brain knows when to flip out and when to act normal i guess.

does crying and extreme anger and frustration happen at the same time or one after another when you are alone??? do you cry like a bitch and put break your walls in the house at the same time or something like that?????????

Ages 20-29 / nothing really matters
« on: August 09, 2018, 04:20:18 PM »
i finally found a ok job. i work as a mover, its very hard but im okay with that. im not working too long hours and if i do i get paid properly. i can finally drink and eat whatever i want, i have free time, i can buy stuff i want, when im hanging out with friends i can pay for everything, i can pay bills, i can save, i can buy something for the house etc. sounds like a lot of money, its not but its great money for someone who was broke since the beginning. i got girl who is into me, im healthy, im working out, im satisfied with my looks. cant have it all (or can we?) but im definitely "happy" about my current circumstances. this is something i been wanting forever.

im discovering about new depths of depression. i feel worse with each new thing i achieve. its like im just confirming to myself that nothing really matters.

i dont want anything no more, except 1 more thing. i want to quit porn. 01.avg was my last time so its 9 days now. i feel like thats the only thing left for me to do on this planet in this lifetime... its not exciting goal, nothing is. nothing excites me but its the goal for me to achieve once and for all. i dont know how im gonna do it. actually watching porn is the only thing that gives me REAL pleasure. everything else is very dull and numb.

its not like i havent been trying. before these 9 days i was clean for 10 days and so on. i have binge periods of 2-3 days but always struggling to quit. i tried everything thats why i dont know how im gonna do this. still, its the one thing left for me to do.

Success Stories / success: date
« on: August 02, 2018, 03:50:50 PM »
i had a date with a pretty girl today. i told her about my addiction, im high school dropout, she already knows im not rich we met through my job, im video gamer, i have no goals etc. she messaged me after date. success for me, big one. i dont care about marriage, kids or any long term thing. im pretty short term when it comes to girls so its big success. if you can call it success, im just happy about it.

total failure in terms of my feelings because i felt totally limp, i mentally know im attracted to her but physically im failing big time. couple of reaction but for short time, feeling very dead as expected. this porn addiction is the biggest problem in my life, its totally devastating, as i said it to her. im sure she cant really understand it.

i also noticed that i suck at video games during reboot and after relapse i blossom. this porn addiction is hell of a lot worse than we can imagine, it impacts our lives completely in every area because brain is involved in all areas of life. 

Success Stories / 30 fukkin dayz
« on: June 29, 2018, 04:00:37 PM »
30 days. feels like a year

i found a job, 6 days 8-9h per day. thats 48h+ away from internet and around people +all my coworkers are women. big change for me but it works. i had few cravings but nothing too bad still. i know the worst is yet to come but this is huge success for me. 30 days, holy shit im going to kill myself if i fuck it up i cant even imagine going back now.

Ages 20-29 / f
« on: June 18, 2018, 12:08:14 PM »
just wanted to write something.

im feeling so sucky. im emotionally fragile. i get upset so easy. i feel total disapproval and separation from this life in totality, real quickly for some silly reason someone says something or i lose something and i just want to go away, die.

thinking about dying is actually giving me less depression than not thinking about it. its like a remainder that if things go any worse i can just end it.

im utter worthless piece of used up toilet brush.

i can end it though, it gives me options. having an option to end this feels better then being stuck with this.

Ages 20-29 / failure journal
« on: May 30, 2018, 03:49:49 PM »
i failed miserably. again. how else to fail than miserably. i PMOed after 12 days.

im totally devastated, i want the end. im stuck with this. i dont want no advice from anyone, i want to end this.

Success Stories / 10 whole days
« on: May 28, 2018, 10:59:40 AM »
i miss these. i havent succeeded in any way shape of form recently, its good to have something worth considering a success. 10 days, double digits on my belt.

today and yesterday, but especially today i can feel the craving. just when the panic attacks, anxiety, fear and all that lessens, the craving, moodiness, agitation, anger creeps up. craving is the worst.

good luck everyone.

Porn Addiction / Success Story
« on: March 03, 2018, 06:30:23 PM »
This is success story. I listened to snoop dogg vato and managed to do 10 push ups, 5 pull ups (im coach potato), ran 5 kilometers and asked random girl for a date ( got slapped )  in 1 day.

Tomorrow im gonna find a girlfrriend. Peace out. You can do it!

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