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Topics - PresidentCoolidge

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I made my girlfriend cum. Ive never done that in my life! Stick to the plan fellas, its worth it.  ::) Man Im tired.

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This weekend I celebrated Halloween with a girl Ive been seeing. I came twice from vaginal and oral. I later asked if she would be my girlfriend and she said yes. And to think that 2.5 years ago I couldnt get it up. I think the main thing that has helped me is being mindful of how much porn I watch, staying healthy and finding the right girl.

Im so stoked!

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I was thinking recently about when I really started to get a handle on this problem, and I noticed that a major contributor to my success has been my attitude. When I thought I was an addict I felt ashamed and helpless. When Igot cravings, I would give in and relapse thinking I was unable to control myself. Also, when I would relapse Id feel so ashamed and start binging because I thought there was no point in trying anymore.

All of that has changed. Now I just think of porn as something that is immature, superficial and a waste of time. I dont think of it as an addiction but rather a childish habit that is unproductive. Also, if I ever do relapse (which is very rare) I dont feel shame. I think, "so I slipped. Big deal, youre human. Learn from it and keep yourself from binging."

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Hey guys. For those of you wondering what the difference between healthy masturbation and unhealthy masturbation techniques were, I thought I'd give you a few guidelines. Remember, this is just advice, so feel free to take it or leave it, or send me your feedback.

1.) REDUCE/CONTROL EJACULTION FREQUENCY. This is not only true for guys rebooting/recovering from PIED, but ancient Chinese texts on love-making have emphasized the importance of semen-retention and controling how often a man ejaculates, especially as a man gets older. It's important to note that it is possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating, so this doesn't mean that you still can't orgasm or masturbate regularly if you decide to cut back on ejaculation. Also, there is no magic number for me to give you. Everybody is different. We are all different ages, have different past histories with porn, etc. To get a more detailed description on this, I recommend The Tao of Love and Sex.

2.) DON'T USE PORN. Porn use conditions our brain's sexual arousal pathways to completely rely on 2 dimensional visual stimulation, constant novelty and constant clicking. Porn teaches us to rely on certain sexual cues which are impractical for sex with a real person. When you do masturbate, use it as an opportunity to condition your brain to the sexual cues associated with real sex. Imagine real girls, what you would do to them, what you would want them to do, what they smell like, how they would feel, etc. If you find yourself re-imagining porn scenes as you're doing this, you need to stop and give yourself a longer break. Additionally, you need to ease yourself into masturbation and use it sparingly.

3.) POSITION YOURSELF IN A WAY THAT WOULD SIMULATE SEX. Part of the problem with our PMO habits, is that we get so used to sitting upright in a chair, in front of a computer screen, that when we're laying in bed with a girl, our brain goes "this is unfamiliar! This isn't sex!" Think of a position you would like to be in with a girl and use that. My guess is that you wouldn't be fucking her while sitting in your computer chair, most of the time.

4.) TAKE YOUR TIME. I've personally experienced premature ejaculation many times and I would attribute it to my porn-viewing and masturbation habits. I used to watch porn with the intention of finding the "right scene" that I could finish as fast as I could and get it over with. This trains the brain to want to cum as soon as possible. I have literally stuck my penis into a woman and cum in less than a second. That is something that you NEVER want to experience. LOL! Taking your time allows you to become a better lover by holding off on ejaculating and it can allow you to potentially learn how to have multiple orgasms, as a man. Better yet, don't even think of cumming as your ultimate goal when you have sex or masturbate. It's better to think of sex or masturbation as an experience to enjoy in the moment without worrying about having a finish line to cross. 

So that's my two cents. Let me know what you think. 

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Hey guys. It's been awhile since I've posted because I fell on some hard times and began relapsing. I felt the need to make some progress before I posted so that you guys could take me seriously. I'm at 3 weeks of no MO or PMO.

Anyways, the hard times I mentioned include spending 6 months at a job I hated and was not cut out for and, after subjecting myself to all the stress, I was fired by my dick boss. But it's not all bad because I've been spending the time to read a shitload of books, practice my songs on the piano, exercise and, of course, get back on track with my reboot. During this time, I've had an epiphany.

I've struggled to explain to people why they should give up masturbating, in addition to porn, if they've struggled with this addiction. People say, "if porn is the problem and masturbation is healthy, why can't I continue to masturbate?" Several reasons that I have discovered from the information on YBOP and from my own experience.

First off, pretty much every successful rebooter had to give up masturbation for a period of time to return back to normal. There isn't a great explanation for this, but that's what the anecdotal evidence tells us. Secondly, I've noticed that it is very hard to MO without fantasizing about porn, even after as much as nine months of no orgasm! The problem with this is that fantasizing about porn and watching it are really the same thing. Porn is a unique type of addiction because it's the only one that can be accessed through our memory. So, while masturbation is perfectly healthy and natural, when used sparingly, the problem lies with the fact that our brains' have trouble distinguishing between masturbation and porn.

The best analogy I can give is this: addiction counselors tell cocaine addicts to give up alcohol as well as their drug of choice. This does not mean that alcohol is their primary problem, or that alcohol cannot be healthy when used in moderation. The problem is how the addict's brain perceives alcohol. Not only do addicts who continue drinking try to substitute their addiction with MORE alcohol, but many of them have extreme difficulty avoiding the temptation to use cocaine after they drink.

So, think of masturbation as alcohol and porn as cocaine. It's not masturbation that is the problem, but rather the way our brains' perceive masturbation through years of watching porn. I hope this is helpful.

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Just wondering. Pornography, when overused can cause problems, just like abusing chocolate can. With chocolate cake, you feel drained, unfulfilled and it can lead to physical changes to your body (i.e. obesity, diabetes, heart disease) Porn is very similar, I think. If you use it everyday, it can cause symptoms similar to ADD, sexual dysfunction, OCD, memory impairment, social anxiety,...However, having a slice of chocolate cake on a special occasion like Christmas won't give you diabetes. In the same way watching porn every once in awhile won't cause ED or anxiety. Does anybody have any thoughts on this subject? Just curious here.

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Just masturbated
« on: December 09, 2014, 08:56:38 AM »
Just wanted everyone to know that I masturbated last night. I did it while fantasizing about a previous sexual encounter with a woman. Felt great because I don't think it hurt my progress and plus...who doesn't like masturbating? I'm not gonna do it again for a long while (probably not until I hit 90 days at least.)

Had to get this off my chest. 

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Porn dreams
« on: November 26, 2014, 09:39:54 AM »
Just wanted to mention that I had some CRAZY porn flashbacks last night. It was so weird because I've had them before but nothing as vivid as this. It might have something to do with the rebound effects of Xanax withdrawal, that being increased REM sleep. But I think it's a pretty good indication of porn's ability to deeply wire circuits in the brain. What are some of your guys' thoughts and experiences on porn dreams?

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I got this hot girl's number a week ago, and I'm pretty sure it's about to go down tomorrow night after our date. She's really into me (she practically handed her number to me on a silver platter), and my friend, who knows her, says she's not looking for a relationship and she just wants to have fun. So...I put two and two together and realized that she probably wants my dick inside of her BAD.

My erection quality has been good so I know I'll probably be able to at least  have mediocre sex. The thing I'm worried about is performance anxiety, which I've lately noticed plays into my issues. I think, "what if I can't perform for her? She'll think I'm gay or some kind of freak!" So anyways, I got my hands on some Xanax and I figured that, as long as I'm on that shit, anxiety will be the least of my problems. Basically, I think it will generally help restore some confidence for me in the bedroom.

I'll let you guys know how it plays out and whether or not I recommend it? 

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I hear people asking all the time, "do I have to stop playig video games?" "do I have to stop fooling around with my gf?" "do I have to stop watching TV?"

The answer is NO! As long as you do not actively seek out arificial sexual stimulation, you are abiding by the reboot rules. I mean, you obviously need to maintain a healthy life. But don't be a fool and think that anything that raises your dopamine is going to give you ED. It's about the sexual conditioning of porn that causes the problem.

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Ages 20-29 / Close to two years of struggle with nofap
« on: November 01, 2014, 12:19:38 PM »
Let me take a minute to get you guys up to speed with my situation. I'm currently 23 and I started using porn around the age of 13 or 14. By the time I started becoming interested in sex, Internet porn was already a huge part of mainstream American culture. I remember surfing the web at age nine for porn (before I even knew how to masturbate) but my dad caught me. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even think of doing it for years afterwards. Once I started hitting puberty, and I had my own laptop in my own room, the story took a sharp turn.

When I started masturbating at age 12, I remember just the imagination of sex was enough to get me off. Then I started watching swimsuit models, then fully nude pictures, then sex scenes, until I finally became hooked on hardcore porn by age 14. This didn't even take very long. Within just a few months I could feel myself becoming desensitized and like I was building a tolerance to sexual stimulation.

I used porn all through high school. This, in combination with my drug use, contributed to my declining interest in sports and academics. All the while, I was spending more and more time surfing the net for porn, facebook and Youtube clips. I got into a good university in California after graduating from high school and continued with my porn use, obviously. I experienced sex for the first time when I was 18 and I remember thinking, "this is sex?" It was honestly not that enjoyable. I had several more experiences like that between ages 18 and 21 and I started to connect the dots and realized that porn was most likely ruining my sex life and causing delayed ejaculation and sluggish erections.

To make matters worse, my drug use escalated through college. I mostly used marijuana and amphetamines, but I have a whole list of other drugs I've tried. I had the most trouble with Adderall, for which I had many illegal sources to get it from in my fraternity. It helped me stay up for hours to study for tests and get my homework done. I would literally lock myself in my room, study for 24 hours, binge on porn in my free time, step out for a cigarette or joint every once in a while, and when it was all over, I'd crash. The only social events I took part in involved tons of alcohol or sitting in front of the TV with my roommates. I guess I just didn't have the maturity to see the long-term pain that this lifestyle was causing me. I didn't care enough to better myself.

Finally, at the age of 21 when I was a senior, I met a girl who changed everything for me. Her name was Natahlie. She was 25 and very extroverted. We had met previously when she was dating one of my friends, but I could tell that I was the one she really wanted to be with. She had a child-like obsession with my physical appearance and she knew that I could help her pass her genetics class to finally graduate. The problem happened when we went for sex...more often than not I just couldn't even get it up at all. Not to mention the fact that she was a complete nymphomaniac, depressed, anxious, frustrated, and had a host of psychological problems. She was so critical of my lack of "performance" and labeled me as gay, asexual, and having low sex drive. Yeah, I know she was a bitch. I was just so excited to finally have a girl who wanted me so badly that I went for it. In retrospect, the way that she handled the situation gave me a lot of anxiety which definitely contributed to the problem. But the main problem was my excessive porn use.

I realized that porn was the problem and came across the nofap movement and yourbrainonporn.com in February of 2013. I tried to prove to her that I knew what the problem was and that I was trying to fix it, but it was too late...she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend who she admitted was an asshole and that she liked me more than. I was so devastated. This is when I began my journey.

There were a few non-consecutive months of no fap that I managed to string together but I made a breakthrough after graduating from college. By October of 2013 I got a job at a high school and began a nine month streak of no porn and no masturbation. I felt great. My MW came back, my libido started coming back, I felt sharper, more clear-headed, less anxious, less OCD, etc. However, by July of 2014 I started re-introducing masturbation into my routine. This turned out to be detrimental because once I got a real job (I'm now working as a chemist at a biotechnology company) I ended up going back to porn by October of this year. Honestly, it was the stress that caused me to relapse, so I'm realizing that I need to find a better outlet for stress. I've been good about not using hard drugs or cigarettes, and keeping my porn use to a minimum (not binging and spacing out my PMO sessions.) However, I really want to stop porn and masturbation for good this time. Hell, I went nine months so I know I can do it! I've been relapsing but hopefully, with your guys' support, I can quit for good this time. I plan to reach two months by the time February rolls around (the two year mark of the beginning of the end of my porn use.)

If you have any questions or comments about my story, feel free to comment or PM me. I will update you guys on my progress.

Peace,
C.C.

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So, I've been having some trouble getting myself back into the mindset that I was in at the height of my most recent successful reboot of nine months. I used to be so enthusiastic about rebooting and had no problem keeping myself away from porn. The last few weeks, whenever I get stressed about work or life in general, I start thinking about porn and it becomes very hard for me to stop. Do you guys have any pointers for how to deal with these moments of weakness? It's hard because the cravings can be pretty strong and I'm under a lot of pressure from my boss.

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Here's the deal. I regret to inform you that I relapsed several times over the past few weeks due to my high-stress job. However, I have been clean of porn and masturbation for the past five days. Due to this experience, I came to the conclusion that I do not want to masturbate ever again and here's why.

I was doing so good with my reboot from October, 2013 to July, 2014. This was nine months of no masturbation and no porn, in addition to some non-consecutive months of no masturbating starting in February, 2013. After those nine months I thought, "hey, I've done so good. I can probably introduce masturbating into my routine." I was wrong. First off, it is true that masturbation is not the problem, it's pornography that causes the addiction-related brain changes that lead us to support forums like these. However, people who have had porn-induced ED do not have the same brains as regular healthy people. We are desensitized. I noticed that as I started masturbating, even after nine months, it was very hard for me to do it without fantasizing about porn. In fact it was nearly impossible. I could try to fantasize about my limited number of sexual encounters, but I would subtly begin thinking about the countless hours of porn scenes I'd watched over the years, in order to get off.

This is a problem for me because watching porn and fantasizing about porn are really the same thing. You're activating the same addiction-related pathways and keeping them active. Porn is a unique type of addiction because it is the only one that can be accessed by our memories alone. So this fact alone is enough for me to realize that masturbation is something that I should probably just cut out altogether. It's as if wiring my brain for porn at such a young age, and for so many years, has made porn and masturbation synonymous.

Secondly, I party blame my masturbation for my sudden relapse. Not that it wasn't a failure of my own willpower, but as I began masturbating, I slowly started to rationalize porn. I thought, "I've been masturbating recently, so what's adding porn into the mix just once gonna do." Or, "masturbating and porn are really the same thing..." Before I knew it, I was starting to binge and I thought, "what the fuck are you doing!?!?! You're erasing progress at this point."

Anyways, my over all conclusion is that it's probably best to just not masturbate at all. Let me know what you think .     

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http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/age-27-severe-ed-cured-after-2-year-flatline-never-give

This link contains the story of a 27-year-old who took two years to reboot. Anybody can overcome this, it just takes hard work.

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