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Topics - chaosbrain44

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Let me apologize on the front end if any of this is too explicit.  Feel free to suggest edits. 

I'm currently in a long distance relationship.  We see each other about every 1-3 months.  This means we will sometimes have phone sex, video sex or do "sexting"... obviously this means masterbation, but no porn is involved. I'm connecting with a real person who I actually know and care about.  However, I'm not sure where the lines are.  I wonder if this hurts my potential recovery.

The other thing I'm unsure about is when we are together.  While we mostly stick to "standard sex stuff" we do like to masterbate together, and typically at the end of sex, I'll jerk off into her mouth.  This is mutually enjoyable, but I worry that this is just keeping my penis conditioned to respond to my hand. 

Do you think these things are setting me back?

Hey everybody,

I experienced ED starting in 2016 (actually probably before that, but I wasn't having sex for quite some time, so I was not aware of it until I started a new relationship and SURPRISE!) and I did research and discovered the "PIED" and "nofap" concept shortly after.

I could go through the long version of the story, but what I am wanting in this post is to see if anyone else has identified with the following traits that don't quite seem to fit the "PIED" model. I'd like to know if anyone has experienced these AND more importantly, if you've successfully recovered from it:

Viagra works for me (this seems to indicate a physical issue rather than brain issue, but the doctor says "I'm fine" physically and there are a lot more complicated details that I won't go into here)

I have not gotten an erection when viewing porn in a LONG time (it doesn't happen) BUT when I DO get a "spontaneous erection" (no touching) it happens with the woman I'm currently seeing (it's a long distance relationship- I find I can sometimes get erections when I'm WITH her AND just from interacting with her from a distance). This seems to be the opposite of what I typically read (can get erections with porn, but not with a real person). It's worth noting that even when I do get one though, I can only sustain it for a few minutes at the most.

looked at porn for YEARS (about 20) with ZERO problems. I could get hard with porn, I could get hard with my partner... no problems whatsoever (again, this seems different than most stories I read)

I don't experience any of the "positive affects" when abstaining. I don't feel more energy, more confident, more alive...none of that. Granted, I've only gotten to about 60 days with no sexual release (my lady friend and I see each other about every 1-2 months, so I'm usually having sex before the 90 days are up)

There are several other things as well, but I've looked into EVERYTHING I can find and nothing really seems to "fit." I'm losing hope and wondering if maybe it isn't "PIED" after all....

Still, I don't find porn to be a great use of my time, so I'm actively avoiding it regardless. It would sure be nice to have some hope of a solution though. If anyone identifies with anything above and has recovered or made progress, please let me know. Thanks!

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