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Topics - pichaelthompson

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Ages 20-29 / A new beginning
« on: March 14, 2019, 02:48:16 PM »
Day 0: I'm back, with experience (for better or worse) and a new sense of purpose

Hi everyone,

I'm a 22 yr old graduate student that has been trying to quit porn on and off for about 2 years. I first started using NoFap, went through multiple streaks lasting up to more than 100 days, but ever since I have given up writing on forums about a year ago I have been less successful and have recently been PMO'ing multiple times a week. To be honest, I am very disappointed in myself to not be able to have the willpower to deal with this on a consistent basis (up to this point), as I have armed myself with knowledge on how to beat it over time, but my complacency, laziness, and lack of willpower has led to me relapsing multiple times, often for no good reason other than "I felt like it."

In starting again on a new forum, I hope to use all of my past failures as a learning experience, with the understanding that this will never be an easy journey, but will surely be a worthwhile one. Through this forum, I will hold myself accountable to what I believe are the most important values in my life: my family, my friends, my mental and physical health, and my music (I am a musician in conservatory). PMO takes the joy out of these values, and I hope to one day "feel" this as much as I "understand" it on a consistent basis. I will try my best to be my true and honest self through this forum, recognizing both my weaknesses and my strengths.

The changes I plan to make are:
- Working out at least 4 times a week (more if you have the time)
- Consistently healthy diet (1 cheat meal per week)
- No lying in bed unless sleeping or catching up on sleep with a nap
- Value depth over novelty (Ex: listen to a 30 min. long piece of music instead of going down Youtube rabbit hole)
- Erase bad habit of looking at "harmless" sexy images (google images, instagram, etc.)
- Meditate every day
- Limit Netflix/youtube/leisure time to 1 hr a day
- Let the urges come and go, like a wave that rises, hits its peak, and dies down
- Journal here once a day, find the right balance of thinking about rebooting but not overthinking it. Yes it is challenging, but it is also simple.
- You can always be more compassionate, supportive, and honest towards others. Do not try too hard but remind yourself of the potential.

I've been down this road before, and I am quite honestly worried that it will be harder this go around. For me, it only gets harder to commit every day, although I have only went up to ~120 days so I don't know what it might feel like past that. However, I fully committing myself to it, as the greater the discomfort there is to overcome, the more strength one can gain. I kind of see it like a strength training program, where you are taking more weight every time, but your mentality will change from "dang I have to do this again" to "I eat this sh!t for breakfast." For anyone reading this: you are greater than your urges, they do not define you. All of us have the mental willpower to achieve great things in life, it is our responsibility to dig deep and find it within ourselves.

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