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Topics - Rebooter2019

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Ages 20-29 / My Reboot Journal
« on: January 31, 2019, 09:34:57 PM »

I'm a 26 yo guy who got PIED and PE because of porn. I'll start this journal with my story in short.

I started to watch porn around the age of 10-12 yo at the time I had no high speed internet connection, but I was relying on the video and photo stash of my father(which was substantial).

Unfortunatly, most of it wasn't really legal, but at that age what do you know!? Beside, I was already hook at the sh*t that is porn. Plus, I was hiding in my appartement when I was at school, alone and almost in seclusion like. I always has had trouble to get along with people as I always felt that I wasn't "in phase" with people of my age always felt like what they were interested in was futile and boring. So with my lonelyness and the big stash of porn that he had I quickly got into it and start to hide myself from the world even more.

Years went by and I was staying with regular men/woman porn. It was taking me more and more time to finish cause at that point men/woman wasn't enough anymore. That was around 4 years ago.

I was 22 and was barely starting to recover from my father being arrested while I was there for the not so legal stash he had. I was starting to talk to people and I had been doing teakwondo for around 5 years at that point. I was still feeling like the people around were mysteries, but I wasn't completely alone anymore. Still I was watching porn, but it started to escalate. From Men/woman to gang bang, to rough sex passing by shemales, BDSM, etc...

It reached new extreme around 3 years ago and at that point I realise that something was wrong!.. I had trouble to sleep, I couldn't concentrate even with the ADHD med that I had. I was masturbating to porn up to 7-10 times a day and each time to a more extreme genre, otherwise I couldn't O. I would wakeup in the middle of the night unable to sleep just to open my computer and PMO. I was more than a wreck. The only at the time that keep me alive was my passion for the sport. My only attach to life back then. Try to get a girlfriend when you have GAD, and barely go out of your house to go train and go back there once done

That's when I started to search online for clue, I found something about rebooting. It was! That's when I realise that I wasn't really turn on, more than being condition to be, by what I was looking at now to be able to O.

I've tried to quit actively for around 2 years now, during that time I had some occasion to have sex which failed because of PIED. I had a girlfriend for a short time, but it didn't workout in the end partially because of PIED.

I'm here because recently, I've been able to do some longer "Streak" and I felt so much better than when I'm PMOing and I saw the community here that seems really friendly plus It's good to feel that I'm not alone in this. I must absolutely get better! I can't live like that anymore!

I really worked hard on myself, I don't have GAD and I'm barely ever at home(more recently though) I have friends now and alot of people like me enough to invite me to places. I can talk to people and have fun with them now(I've learn to speak their language ;D :P ).

I know I can and I really hope that by making a journal and getting some external help by people who can understand how I feel, will assist in my reboot.

Wasn't easy to write everything, but there it is. It's soothing to have it out.

*EDIT: I said it was good to see that I wasn't alone in this and by that I meant that it was kind of reassuring, because we can all agree that it is not "good", just wanted to clarify*

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