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Topics - bumblerino

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Relapses
« on: May 11, 2015, 02:42:45 AM »
I previously set up a whole rebooting thread for myself but have been encountering problems lately. I seem to keep going back to cam sites. There can be a break of 1/2/3 weeks in between with no PMO whatsoever but I always end up going back to it.

Things were going well with the reboot initially, I managed to go for months without. When I go back to the cam sites now I don't have a particular strong urge but I seem to make the decision and follow through. Seems to be related to the hypofrontality theory. I don't use porn videos so I think I'm just craving emotional/physical contact with a lady as opposed to craving porn.

Is there any help out there to help stop me using cam sites? I've tried blocking software months ago but I ended up just disabling it. Perhaps there are self help discussion groups? So maybe I could just go there whenever I feel the urge.

2
Every couple of months or so I turn back to porn for about a couple of hours and then be back off of it completely for a couple of months and so the cycle continues. So things aren't nearly as bad as before when I was using porn several times a week. I think the issues is notn having a partner so in craving emotional attachment my brain turns to PMO to compensate.

The thing is, I've been going through this for around 9 months now I think and I've not really seen improvement. Granted in those months I have amassed a grand total of a handful of hours of P, but even so most of the time there has been zero P and zero MO. So I was kind of hoping to notice some improvement.

It's not like I'm expecting miracles and to suddenly discover a sustained hard erection, but I . The only difference generally is morning wood a few times a week, although even those seem to be decreasing in frequency now. But my erections still don't last, I may experience better quality hardness but for a very limited time.

So does anyone have any hope for me? Out of desperation I was thinking of taking L-Argenine or something. I tend to go to bed very late (2/3 am) and tend to always be over tired when I wake up. Could my sleep patterns have something to do with this?

3
So I did have a relapse just now in that I was on a cam site. I eventually left the site without any M or O. So what does this mean? Would people count this as a full relapse? I'm guessing yes, but does it at least show that I'm beginning to regain some control the fact that i didn't MO? Or is that wishful thinking?

I understand that a relapse isn't a back to square zero kind of thing but it does set back my recovery so not great but all i can do is carry on though.

4
I've been rebooting for a few months now and I have to say I'm not feeling any of the benefits people on here are talking about - like more energy, less socially awkward, more interest in women. The only difference I notice is I'm no longer staring at women like I used to. The only differences are negative - fatigue, occasionally become tearful for no reason.

I'm 36 so when I was in my teens high speed internet hadn't taken off yet. However, when I was 14+ instead of using the web I would order video tapes - which is obviously the same as having high speed internet. By the time I was 18 I probably had a collection of 20 tapes - I'm sure family knew about it but were to embarrassed to mention it. Thankfully I binned them around the age of 18.

So perhaps my situation is more similar to Gabe's and all you guys who have been on the high speed porn since your teens? So with that in mind perhaps my re-wiring is going to take much more time than I thought. Do you think my brain is on a long flat line while it mends itself?

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / In trouble
« on: December 25, 2014, 08:01:00 PM »
Guys, I'm in trouble.

I started my reboot just over a few months ago and I haven't watched porn since. Back when I used to watch I used to have cam shows with one particular woman. In this whole time I haven't had any form of intimacy with anyone as I find it difficult to socialise with people let alone meet women.

About a week ago we started chatting again - just normal chats via Skype (no provocative language). I mentioned the possibility of us meeting and she has said that she would meet for a weekend for 3k. Now I know full well that she just needs the money. Other than trusting me enough to meet me there's no other feelings at her end.

At this stage I'm finding it impossible to resist going. Partly because of my general lack of intimacy but also because this is a woman who I have a soft spot for and is some one I have fantasised about. I did try to set up a meeting with her before my reboot and resisted but this time I don't seem able to decide against it - my brain is just saying "do it".

She knows about my ED issues and that i'm rebooting but again - as long as she gets the money it's obviously not an issue for her. She didn't say that but that's how I read the situation. I've not paid her yet but right now I can't stop myself going through with it.

6
So in a nutshell, I started my reboot a few months ago with no relapses in to porn but have MO'd (without death grip) about once a month.

Fast forward to today, I attempted to have sex. The foreplay was fine, however I was barely semi hard. Nonetheless I managed to penetrate but lasted all of one minute - probably a bit less than that - before climaxing.

So my issue around erectile dysfunction doesn't seem to have improved and now I last even less time than I used to. So I seem to be going in the wrong direction.

Don't get me wrong - I don't miss porn and totally see why it's mentally unhealthy. And I was certainly not expecting miracles out of the reboot, but no progress is demoralising. In fact I would even say movement in the wrong direction...

The times I MO'd I felt hard and I do get morning wood almost every day (I had none before reboot). Has anyone gone through this? Am I just "flatlining"? Perhaps my PIED is more severe than I had imagined? What does all this mean?

7
I started my reboot a couple of months ago and, while I have stayed away from porn without much of a fuss, I still don't feel as though my neural paths have changed. On an increasing basis I've found that my thoughts have started swaying towards sex again (not porn). I've been single for a long time and I feel that's a definite disadvantage for recovery.

Thinking over the last few days, surely it's normal for a guy to think about sex once or twice a day.

Whilst I've managed to stop leering at women, if I happen to suddenly and unavoidably catch a glimpse of some one stunning, it's already too late - the thoughts are there, even if just for a split second. I still look away quickly if that happens, but it's left me feeling that I'm not recovering.

This will sound terrible but yesterday I was browsing for paid for sex. I know this would be a major relapse, but it's the physical connection that I really miss. And I think this is purely down to being single for so long on top of the reboot. I think both of these things together is too much for what my male brain is innately designed to do. I'm not saying we're designed to be nymphomaniacs, but we are designed to want and need some sort of connection on a fairly regular basis - without that the human race would be in trouble.

So how do I get over an innate characteristic? It's impossible to switch it off, and anyway why would one want to? It feels to me like this reboot business is definitely the right way to go, but I feel that there are a few things missing from the path to recovery. Perhaps more research is needed in this area? I'm hoping scientists begin to do this as they accept it as a real condition. Has it been accepted yet I wonder?

8
I'm sure I've seen this posted here before but couldn't find it. I'm going through a bit of a tough phase. 5 weeks with no P but have MO'd a few times in that period. I know the reboot means abstaining completely for a few months - I'm working on that. With the MO I have done I have completely avoided P and avoided the death grip - I've just been using light massage. I think I'm in the midst of a flat line because my mood is a bit off, but strangely at work I'm more productive.

The issue I wanted to talk about is on two occasions of this MO, I stood up to test whether it would stay up. Both times I completely lost my erection. When I went back to the seated position, I managed to regain a 70/80% erection and finish off with light massage. But can anyone explain why the loss of erection when standing? The bizarre thing for me is back when I was frequently PMO-ing, I often used to stand up for the MO. Why the change?

One other question was around re-wiring. I am single and have always had trouble meeting women. So as a singleton I'm not sure how I can go about wiring my brain to real life experiences. I know that not doing anything means I'll just hit a wall. I've been thinking about going for some tantric/sensual massage just to have real experience but to move the focus away from orgasm and towards sensual touch. The people I've been in touch with seem to think it will help with rewiring.

One side comment is the sensation at O is more intense - the only thing I can liken it to is the feeling I had when I first experienced O. I think that's a result of it taking longer to climax and generally being more relaxed about it. This is going to sound really weird to some but another thing I noticed is that I found myself liking/respecting my penis - I've never really experienced that before. I'm not sure if anyone else has had the same?

9
Having just relapsed after 2 weeks of my first ever reboot attempt, I'm not being hard on myself - however I am feeling disappointed and disillusioned. Disappointed in that I relapsed and disillusioned because I'm left wondering whether this is going to work.

My relapse consisted of a cam 2 cam session with a specific person who pushes my buttons. Not only did I not notice any improvement but I was actually worse. I started M and got hard briefly but it quickly went. In addition to that I had the sensation to climax very early on - like after 2 minutes.

So I've resumed my reboot today - avoiding sexual thought and ogling - but the relapse experience has got me worried. I wasn't expecting miracles, but I really wasn't expecting to get worse! So I'm now in a position where not only in real life do I have ED but I can't get it up with porn either... Advice anyone?

On the plus side - I didn't hop between various porn sites or cams - it was just her and me on skype. I know it's still bad but at least it was limited to one person.

10
I've been suffering from ED for 7/8 years now. All the physical tests came back normal and I was simply told it was psychological. Fast forward to today, I go through phases of either watching porn or cam to cam. One thing I've noticed about the cam is once i've paid for credit I start physically shaking in anticipation of the imminent show - is this evidence of some physical anomaly that anyone is aware of?

A couple of days ago I committed to no PMO. In addition to that I'm trying to cut right back on looking at women - this is especially hard to do at work. I've found that in the last year or so I've been glaring (with a lustful mind) at women and, apart from being rude towards them, it just doesn't feel right - at least not anymore. Is it right for me to stop this as well as pmo at the same time? Or is it asking too much of myself? I'm intending to stop M on its own as well during the reboot period - is this advisable?

I anticipate that I'll have tough times and go astray. My main question is - should I stop masturbating indefinitely? From all the advice on here I can't tell whether you should only do this for the "reboot" period or can you go back to masturbating every now and then after the reboot? Or is it detrimental and best to stop M altogether and forever? I am more than happy to ditch the porn as I can see how harmful that is now, but M to me seems like a natural thing to do. Ideally I'd like to meet some one and then I wouldn't really need M but until that time, is it ok? Surely every man needs to let it out occasionally?

The other point is, I've suffered from ED for a long time now and am conscious that this rebooting may not resolve my ED. Since I already know that I don't have any physical issues and I'm not under any stress at the moment, what would people advise I do about it? Just continue with no M?

Final thing is a few years ago I was in a bad relationship that lasted about a year. In that time, as far as I can recall I very rarely masturbated or watched porn. Yet my ED still persisted so I'm concerned that this may not work to resolve my ED, has anyone had a similar experience? I'm hoping that the stress from the relationship was the cause at the time but can't be sure of that.

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