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Topics - j7ll7

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Success Stories / My success story (I just had sex) [200 days]
« on: March 17, 2019, 08:22:46 AM »
Hi guys,

After 200 days of reboot, hard mode. I finally had succesfull vaginal sex. The night before I didnt succeed because I was wasted an could get partially hard but nothing I could penetrate with. But this morning I was finally able to do the deed. It feels like my confidence has been restored. I didnt think there would be light at the end of the tunnel. But finally there is. Even for the worst cases there is hope. Even if it takes 200 days like me, without any real benefits to speak of, you have to keep on trucking and dont give up. Because the alternitive is a hell of a lot worse than even the wost withdrawals you can have.

Thx for supporting me through this time. Youve given me my life back.

Cheers,
Jelle

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Ages 20-29 / My Journal (2nd stage of my reboot)
« on: March 11, 2019, 02:02:07 PM »
Hi guys,

I'm writing here because I have reset my counter. I have relapsed after 180 days of reboot. I've not thrown myself into a binge. But in the last two weeks I've orgasmed (not masturbation) to porn fantasy. My long lasting flatline has ended and now I feel the full force of my sexual desire. But I don't see it as something bad. I merely feel like I've entered a new stage of reboot. I was a bad case.

I've been masturbating to porn since age 12 and discovered internet porn 1 year later. Since that time I've used internet porn for 2 or more times a day, every day. I'm now 24, that means that for my entior sexually active life the only thing I've conditioned my sexuality to was internet porn. I've never had any succesfull sexual relationship with a person before. Now that I'm 180 days in I finally feel some of the feelings come back that I lost in all that time.

I do think I have a long way to go before I'm able to have sex. But at least I'm on the right track. Maybe now that I have the feeling of my sexuality back, my improvements will be a lot quicker. I don't know, only the future will tell me. But the reason I'm starting this new journal is because this feeling is totally new to me. And just like the beginning of the first one I can use your support to help me through these challenging times.

I'm not regretting resetting my counter and looking forward to the following months. Thx in advance for all the messages, support and wisdom. You guys are the best and have helped my life in many more ways than you can even imagine.

Cheers,
Jelle

3
Porn Addiction / Would you count this as a relapse
« on: March 04, 2019, 04:28:27 PM »
Hey guys,

I'm on day 183 of my reboot and kind of in and out of the flatline. Last sunday I was really hung over and a porn thought flashed into my mind. It was a really intense thought and it made my whole body tremble. I tried to resist the thought and distract myself but I just couldn't. I could however resist touching myself. But it wasnt enough, this thought just sent me over the moon and I came. I know porn fantasy also counts as porn, cause it uses the same pathways. Would you consider this a relapse.

By the way, I know the process is not lineair and even the strongest of rebooters face (partial)relapses sometimes. So it is not that I feel like I threw all those days away. I'm just curious in what way this effects my reboot.

Kind regards,
Jelle

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Porn Addiction / Just feeling burned up, will it ever get better
« on: January 27, 2019, 12:07:42 PM »
Hi guys,

It has been a long while since I posted an update on my reboot. 104 days to be exact. And I'm still going strong. I haven't watched any porn in the passed 104 days. But I have been getting some pretty strong episodes of porn craving. They were so bad that I couldn't even get away from them, because leaving my house and going for a walk even triggered the cravings for me.

Right now I just feel like absolute garbage, maybe someday the energy will return. But at the moment I've never felt this tired in my whole life. I'm tired from the moment that I wake up to the moment just before bed. I cannot sleep and I just feel downright depressed. The only thing I want to do at this point is to just jack of until there is no tommorow, because that is the only thing that is giving me any pleasure. But the believe that things will get better is what is keeping me strong.

Are there any other people that have had these kind of episodes in their reboot and have they gone away? I could really use your help here.

5
Porn Addiction / Uncontrollable porn fantasy during reboot
« on: January 13, 2019, 03:50:20 PM »
Hey guys,

I've been on a streak for 120 days. But during the last week im plagued with thoughts of porn fantasy and uncontrollable urges. It is so bad that even the slightest thought of porn just makes me come. One day I even went out for a walk just to walk the thoughts off, but even then they haunted me, I had to stop walking because the feeling of my dick rubbing against my pants made me wanna come. I've orgasmed 4 times this week and it just doesn't go away. What can I do against it? Do I have to reset my counter? I'm just lost that after so long no PMO, something this stupid fucks up my reboot

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Porn Addiction / Did I relapse or fuck up my reboot?
« on: October 16, 2018, 12:32:57 AM »
Hi guys,

I'm on day 50 of my reboot and last night I had a wet porn dream. I climaxed in about 3 seconds before I realized what was going on. Did I fuck up my recovery or is it not a big deal?

7
We've al read it many times on websites, forums and in books. Rebooting with a partner can really speed up the reboot. And it is easy to see why. Because if you reboot with a partner you can strenghten the real person pathways in the brain while the porn pathways deteriorate. This is simple neuroplasticity.

Neurons (cells in your brain that transport information) can rearange themselves to strengthen or weaken brain pathways. There are two simple rule to neuroplasticity: neurons that fire together wire together and neurons that fire appart wire appart. What we're trying to do in a reboot is trying to weaken the porn pathways. We weaken the pathways by not using the pathways, because if you don't use it you lose it. But this is made harder by the accumulation of deltaFosB in our system. DeltaFosB is your brains go to chemical to strengthen important pathways in the brain.

So we have a hormone to strengthen patways, but we also have a hormone that weakens pathways. And this is were the power of a partner really comes in! Oxytocin is a hormone that can induce massive unlearning, it can break down neural pathways and create new ones. So with a partner you create new pathways, while the old pathways deteriorate. And with the realease of oxytocin this proces is even more sped up. This is the reason why it is important to have a partner to reboot with. It makes the whole proces easier and more natural.

8
Porn Addiction / Did I relapse??
« on: September 17, 2018, 12:22:14 AM »
Last night I had a dream that I was and all of the sudden some flashes of pornography came up in the dream. Out of instinct I began to touch myself, but after 2 or 3 seconds I realized what I was doing and stopped. I still felt the rush of dopamine going through my body, did I hurt my recovery by doing this or is it not a big deal?

9
Goddamn!

After the 4th night of not getting any sleep at all I'm just completely drained. I feel like I have the flue, I have constant headaches and I can't do anything because I'm too tired. The symptoms are actually physical, I never experienced anything like this!!! When I quit marijuana I had a really hard time sleeping and cravings of course, but not much more. For smoking it was just cravings and irritability that I had to resist. BUT PORN!! These withdrawal symptoms are something I never could have imagined, it feels like I'm a crack addict recovering. I know this is best for me, but it feels like my body is telling me like I'm doing something really bad for it!!!


I'm really scared that the withdrawal symptoms are gonna fuck up my job as well. The past week I already noticed that I had nearly not patience with the customers and nearly got mad at them. How can I manage my intense irritability? Please help, I didn't know it would be this hard!!!

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Ages 20-29 / My Journal, an attempt to abstain
« on: September 02, 2018, 04:08:06 AM »
Hi all,

My name is Jelle, I'm 24 years old and I'm from the Netherlands. I've been trying to abstain from porn for quite some time now. But so far to no avail. For the past two years I've been battling with several addictions. Mainly an addiction to weed. Four months ago I finally managed to beat the addiction and haven't taken a puff of marijuana since. Two months ago I also quit smoking, an addiction that has been with me for a year and a half. Besides that I've also been battling depression and for the first time in two years I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel.

So now I finally feel strong enough to also take on the challenge of quitting porn and masturbation forever. I want to quit because about three months ago I came to the shocking conclusion that I couldn't get it up during sex. Till now I've always blamed alcohol, weed or some other drug for not being able to get it up. But this time I was completely sober!!!!! It was by far the worst moment of my life. It made me feel like I was not a man, like I was not worthy of even being part of society. I knew I had to do something.

But I was so stuck in a rut. I was smoking a pack of sigarrets a day, drinking beer every day and hated my job. My friends weren't there for me and I just felt completely alone. So porn was the only thing that gave me a little bit of pleasure. But that pleasure was also fading. Every time is would PMO (not really familiar with the terminology but I think you mean masturbation with this) I would just get the most empty feeling out of it. It wasn't pleasurable, there was no rush, I just needed to do it for some reason.

That was the moment I realized that the problem became a full blown addiction. I felt the same emptiness that I felt just before I quit weed. The only satisfaction I got out of it was just the satisfaction of scratching the addiction itch. The pleasureable feelings all faded away a long time ago. So I knew something had to happen right now. But at this point I was also still addicted to sigarrets, depressed and hated my job so I thought that the best way to go about this was to just take it one step at a time.

So first I quit my job and found a new one. Right after getting my new job I quit smoking. Because of the pride that I felt of quitting smoking and the satisfaction that I got out of my new job I felt the depression slowly losing it's grip on me. But during this period I was still beating (or rather abusing) my meat. I thought if I'm doing so good for my body then I can do at least something that I know is counterproductive.

So now we've finally arrived at the current day, for a week now I've abstained from porn. I've not had any urges or cravings so far. And I finally feel strong enough to share my story with the world. I've found through the experiences of being addicted and depressed that it is not something that you have to be ashamed of. It is one of the most natural things that if you lack in some vital needs that you have as a human animal that you seek something to replace it. In my case these things were drugs and endless internet porn.

Now I'm on a journey to try and get my highs only from real sources and not from external stimuli or fabricated realities. I'm more interested now then ever before in how my brain works and how I can prevent addiction from ever getting a hold over me. I want to be able to delete as many artificial dopamine stimulators from my life as possible. So I can finally appreciate and experience life in the best way possible. So this is going to be my journey for the comming months and I hope I can count on this great community to help me. I sure as hell will be trying to help as best as I can to assist you in your journeys.

Sorry for the long story, once I started typing I couldn't really stop (also sorry for grammar mistakes or misspelled words, english is not my native language)

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